Video Transcript: Prerequisites to Coaching Part 2

All right, welcome back, Steve Elzinga. Here again, this is the coaching class, I hope you're  enjoying it. Hope you're thinking about how you might use this in your life. As I said, in the  very first session, this is something that you can use professionally, in a church as sort of a  

side business, but but it also can be used just in all your leadership, enterprises. If you have a  family of parenting, your marriage with your friends, this is just, I think, a way of life, to try to  help people discover all the things that God has for them, we've been looking at some  prerequisites to the Christian coaching. Because Because coaching is client centered. In other  words, you're just trying to help the client figure out what they want to do, you're not trying to lead them in any direction, you want to make sure that there's something solid there. Last  session, we talked about, you know, they need a connection to Jesus, they need the Holy  Spirit inside of them, to guide them evidence of the fruits of the Spirit, they have to  understand what their gift is, those are really important. So we're going to continue looking at some of these prerequisites. I think a person needs a walk with God, a person can accept  Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and still not have a walk with God. Okay, walk with God.  Is is is is, is talking and listening. repeatedly. We've talked about that in several of the class  Christian Leaders classes, that a walk with God is just like a walk with anybody. You have a  friend and the friendship develops over time, through talking and listening. You interact with  one another it's talking and listening, going back and forth. And that's repeated over time.  And a relationship develops. Well, the same thing is needed with God. There's something.  There's something powerful that happens when you walk with God. That includes prayer. And  it includes Bible prayer is sort of the talking. And Bible is listening. You're listening to what  God has to say every time you read the Bible, so talking and listening. And then when you put both of those together, we call the devotions. So prayer. I John 5:14, this is the confidence we  have in approaching God, that if we ask anything, according to His will, He hears us. So you  want a client that I mean if the client is, is supposed to be figuring out what they want to do.  And then if the client is supposed to be figuring out a plan of how to do what they want to do.  And if the client is actually going to succeed in doing the plan the that they want to do to  reach the goal that they have, they have in mind, then then you want all of that stuff to fall  into the will of God. So you want a client that's actually talking to God about these things. The prayer is an integral part of the whole coaching process. James 5:16, Therefore, confess your  sins to each other and pray for each other, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a  righteous person is powerful and effective. Not only do you want your client to be in prayer,  daily, by the way, prayer is not just a weekly thing. I mean, you know, I'm married to my wife, Marie, we've been married for 40 years. We live in the same house. We say something to each other every single day. I mean, what a weird relationship, my wife and I would have if, let's  say, I don't talk to her. She doesn't talk to me for a whole week. And then once a week, I go  somewhere and I listen to someone else. Talk about my wife. That's what a lot of people do  with church. They listen to the pastor talk about God, but they themselves don't talk to God.  So So you want a client who's who's in prayer, but you want to be the one who's in prayer for  your clients. So So again, prayer can be a part of that, you know, before you begin a session,  hey, can let's pray about this. Let's pray that God would bless our time when they when  they're finished with a coaching session. Why not ask God to bless the plans and things that  are coming up this week? make prayer a part of that. A prayer of a righteous person is  powerful and effective. Let's use it. Romans 8:26-27. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in  our weaknesses. We do not know what we ought to pray for. but the Spirit Himself intercedes  for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit  because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God. So, you  know, as you're coaching someone, the whole point of why you're coaching them is they  really don't know what they want to do. And they don't know how to do it. And they have no  discipline to get it done. That's why they've come to you. All right. Well, you want you want  prayer to be a part of that whole process. Why? Because it says, we don't even know what to  pray. Your client might not know what to pray, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to  ask God to help me do. That doesn't matter. See, the Holy Spirit has something in mind. Let's  go to God in prayer. And hopefully, the Holy Spirit will be a part of this whole process of trying to figure this out. Luke 11:9-13. So I say to you ask, and it will be given you, okay, so we're 

trying to figure out stuff, the client is trying to figure out a goal you're trying to, you know,  what do I need to change in my life? Ask God, ask it and it will be given to you seek and you  will find knock on the door will be open to you. Okay, so, in some ways, in secular coaching,  everything is sort of resting on the coach, you know, I am going to help you. I'm like God to  you. But in Christian coaching, no, I am not God. We're both human beings. And we're both  trying to figure this out. We're both trying to figure out what God's will is for you. Seek and  you will find knock on the door will be open to you. For everyone who asks receives, the one  who seeks finds to the one who knocks the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your  son asked for a fish, we'll give him a snake instead? Or if he asked for an egg, we'll give him a scorpion. If you then though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children? How  much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him so let's ask.  let's make asking prayer. Part of the whole coaching experience Another benefit of this. When  things go right. When the client actually follows through and does things and his life is  changed? Who gets the credit? See in the secular world who gets the credit? Well it's the  coach, my coach is awesome, man, he's really helped me change my life. So here, do who  ultimately gets the credit. It's God who gets the credit. God is the one who you know, lets us  know what we need to do. Okay, so that's prayer Bible, Psalm 119:105, Your word is a lamp  for my feet and a light. On my path. When someone comes with a need for coaching. They're  they're trying to go down a trail. But they can't see. They don't know which way to go. There  are many trails to take. And there many voices saying go this way or go that way? What trail  do I do? I can't see my way. There's roots, there's rocks, there's tree logs in front of the way. A  light on the path. That's what the word of God is. So we want a client who's into the Word of  God. We want a client who's praying, talking and listening to God. But we also want a client  whose daily trying to figure out what God has to say, you know, so every morning I you know,  I have a thing at my church where we're following right now a topic. And we have a verse,  every single day. So I begin my day reading the verse, this morning's verse was Deuteronomy  31:8, the Lord Himself goes before you, and He will be with you. He will never leave you or  forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Again, that's the verse that I read this  morning. Now I'm going to take that verse with me all day long. As I'm doing this lecture right  now, the Lord Himself goes before me. Okay. You know, I don't have everything scripted out. I  trust that God is going to give me the words to say, I'm trusting that God is going to give me  something to say that can reach right to wherever you are in the world. I don't know who's  listening to this right now. I don't know what your situation is. But I'm trusting that God can  speak through me, to reach you, so you can become all that God wants you to be because  we're on this team together. So, so what I'm trying to illustrate is reading the Word of God for  me is, you know, forms my day makes a difference with what I do or what I don't do. So that  verse gives me courage today, I'm not going to be discouraged by things that that happened  today. Because the Lord Himself goes before me, and He will be with me, and He will never  leave me or forsake me, regardless of what happens. See, if you have that kind of confidence, you can go out and try things. You can step out in faith, and do something you don't know if  you're going to fail if you're going to succeed. But you know what, I can't fail. no matter what  happens, I cannot fail. So I want my client to have that sense that they just need to go out  and do something, and they may succeed, they may fail. But if we're trying to do what God  wants us to do, we never fail. Alright, so reading your Bible, Romans 15:4, for everything that  was written in the past. So he's talking about the Old Testament, was written to teach us so  that through the endurance taught in the scriptures, and the encouragement they provide, we might have hope, I want a client who has hope. Hope is having a positive outlook on the  future, even though you don't know what the future will be, even though there are obstacles  and things in the way and you don't know how it's going to work out. Hope is having an  optimistic view of the future. I want a client who has an optimistic view of the future, how's he going to get it by walking with a God who promises to be with them. And by listening to this  God through what the word of what the Word says, all the things that were written in the past, were written for this purpose, to provide encouragement, and to give hope. I want a client  that is encouraged and has hope. II Timothy 3:16, All scripture is God breathed. God breathed  is how God created human beings in the first place. And now he breathes that same life into 

his word, All scripture is God breathed. And is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and  training and righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every  good work. And again, we're trying to get our clients to identify some good work, some goals,  some action thing that they should do, that might change their life. Okay, so I want them into  the word, because the word will equip them to figure this out. And to follow through. Another  prerequisite, again, for working with someone with this whole coaching process, is you want a person that's part of the church, Hebrews, 10:24-25. And let us consider how we may spur  one another on. Now a spur in the English language is a cowboy term, again, you know, 150  years ago, when people rode horses, and before cars, they would often put on their boots. A  spur, we call it a spur, and it's this little pointy thing, that with which the cowboy would kick  the horse, you want to get the horse going, sometimes you have to, like poke the horse to get him to go. And so this verse is saying, sometimes we need a poke. Sometimes we need  someone who says, you know, that wants to challenge us. And being in the body of Christ,  being in the church, that's, that's a place where that can happen. We have people who love us and care for us, and they see, you know, we're going down some not a very good trail, a trail  that's going to hurt us and hurt the people around us. And so they, they, they come alongside us and they say, you know, we think you're going the wrong direction. Sometimes we need a  challenge. Or sometimes in church, you know, we're just sort of wasting our life and we need  a good friend to come along and say, hey, you know, you're really not making all that you can out of your life. So sometimes we need people in our life who will challenge us. Let us  consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Not giving up  meeting together. Okay. Part of the sense of being challenged is when we're together we're  and then we don't feel alone. So a lot of people, this is exactly what they do, they give up  meeting together. People often give up on meeting together, because meeting together  involves, you know, people, and sometimes people hurt people, and we get tired of it, and  there's the politics or everything, and we just, but then we're all alone. Church, in some ways,  it's like a fire, you build a nice little fire, you know, you're going to cook something and you  build this fire, you have all these coals. But but but a fire survives, because the logs and all  the coals are together. If you take a coal out of the fire and place it off to the side, it quickly  goes out. Coals need to be together to be of any value. And that's the way it is in the church.  That when people separate themselves from the church, their passion, their energy, their  ability to go out and do things to love, and to do good deeds. They grow cold. And so, Paul,  the author here is like, we got to stay together. Sometimes we got to stay together, so we can challenge one another, to become all that God intends for us, let us consider how we may  spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing but encouraging one another. And all the more as you see the day  approaching Time is short. Time is short, we, we don't we don't have forever. Now we don't  know exactly when Christ will come back. And the last judgement and then heaven. We don't  know is it 10 years, 50 years, 100 years, 1000 years, I don't know. But I do know this, the time is ticking on your time. Because you and I only have 60, 70, 80, 90 years on this planet for us, the end of the world is coming soon. Time is ticking. So whatever we're going to do with this  life, we have to get going we have to do it. And the author here is saying what the church  does is two things, the church challenges, spurs, but are also encouraged. So challenge is  when we're sitting down, we're not doing anything and someone comes along and says Come  on, get up, let's go. Encouragement is you can do it. We believe in you. Okay, so you need,  you want a client that is part of a community like that, so he can be entered so he can be  challenged. Otherwise, it's all up to you. Again, everything is resting on you, the coach. And  remember, you don't want to be the one encouraging and challenging, because you're just  helping the client figure out what he wants to do. So he needs that support from a community. So you want someone that's part of a church, Romans 12:5, we belong to each other. And  each of us needs all the others, we can't do this on our own. Okay, engaged in the seven  connections, okay, if you if you in this class, you've probably heard about the seven  connections somewhere along the line. And it's just a matrix. It's a way of thinking about your relationship to God in relationship to other people. These are your basic relationships in life.  Number one, there's a walk with God, you want a client that has a walk with God talking and 

listening repeatedly, prayer Bible devotions, something that they do every day, if they have a  spouse, you want someone who's in a walk with their spouse, talking and listening repeatedly, they have a relationship with a spouse. If their spouse is a Christian, there's a time we're  reading the Bible and prayer together, husband and wife. Number three, a walk with a family.  Again, a family connection involves talking and listening families being together, sharing life  together. And if you want God at the center of that family, then there has to be Bible, there  has to be prayer as part of that. Walk with friends. Again, we're we're not just we don't just  exist in our families, we have connections to other people. We have shared interests with  others, we can have different friendship circles, maybe some friends at work, friends in the  community, friends that we do a sport with or a hobby or friends that we've known for a long,  long, long time. You want a client that has connections to that is again it's talking listening  repeatedly. And you know, if you're a Christian you want you want God to be at the as a part  of that. So there's there's reading the Bible together. There's praying that's what Bible studies are it's a group of friends coming together studying the word praying for each other, the all  these things equips someone. Okay. So, again, it's a prerequisite, I want someone who is  strong, I want someone that has some foundation that they're standing on, because I'm going to be trying to help them figure out what they should do in their life. And they have to be able to do it, but they can't do it on their own. So they need these connections, they need a  connection to God, they need a strong connection, if they don't have a good connection to  their spouse, if that's a source. If that's a problem, then if we make this, these other goals,  that problem will always drag it down. So that's, if there's a problem there, then we have to  work on that. First, we have to fix the husband wife, problem. And then if it's a person that's  married and have children, but there's problems in the family, that's going to drag everything  down. So we need to fix that we need to, you know, we need to focus in on changing those  dynamics in the family. So walk with God, walk with spouse, walk with family, walk with  friends, number five, walk with church okay, again, connected to the church. People can't do it on their own church is your is your, your source of support. Walk with the kingdom, being a  part of not just your own church, but what God is doing all over the world. So as you take  Christian Leaders Institute classes, you start getting connected to people all over the world,  you can go to the directory, you can find other Christian Leader, students and connect with  them. But you should do that. You should be part of our network where you can communicate  with people that that are dealing with some of the things same things that you're trying to  deal with your church planter, you can connect with other church planters, you don't want to  go it alone. And number seven, a walk with the world. Again, what does that mean the world  The world is the people that are unconnected to Christ. You want a client that is engaging the  world, a client that is not just walking in their own faith, but a client that's sharing their faith  with others. So engage in these seven things walk with God walk with spouse Walk with  family, walk with friends, walk with church, walk with Kingdom walk with the world. And you  can see, these connections are like a circle. You start with a walk with God, and then walk with your spouse sort of supports your walk with God. And then you have a walk with your family  which supports your marriage, which supports your walk with God. Then you have a group of  friends that support your family that supports your marriage and supports your walk with  God. Then you have the church that supports your friends that supports your family supports  your marriage, supports your walk with God, and then you connect into the kingdom which  supports you know, you can see how it goes. So you want people that have all these  connections, these relationships because then they have something solid, something strong  from which you the coach can now bring something good out. We'll see you next time.