Video Transcript: Mastering Good Eye Contact (Edited)

Becoming a good listener is not just about hearing; it also includes mastering the art of eye contact. While you don't need to be an expert, effective eye contact is crucial. Psalm 34:15 tells us, "The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, his ears are attentive to their cry." In essence, God is an active listener, and we, as people striving to follow Him in our ministries, should aim to emulate this quality.

Daniel Wendler, who has Asperger Syndrome, has spent time understanding the complexities of social interaction and communication. He did not let his condition deter him. Rather, he studied multiple aspects of communication and even provided simple guidelines for overcoming obstacles. I've found his advice particularly resonant with my own experiences in various communication skills.

One aspect Daniel focuses on is eye contact. His advice is balanced: don't stare, but also don't divert your gaze to your smartphone. Put the technology away and engage in meaningful eye contact. His guidance on how to adapt your eye contact according to the situation is quite practical. For instance, if the person you're talking to looks at you, meet their gaze. If they look away, it's fine for you to look away too, but not immediately, so you don't seem like you're mimicking them.

Emotional conversations bring their own set of rules. Sometimes, discussing emotional issues is easier when you're not maintaining constant eye contact. But Daniel emphasizes that even if the other person looks away during an intense conversation, you should still maintain your gaze to demonstrate that you care.

In ministry, these simple but effective guidelines for eye contact are invaluable. Just as God maintains a focus on us, giving us the gift of His undivided attention, we too should offer the gift of eye contact to those in our congregation and our lives. I find that maintaining this level of focus opens a window to someone's soul and allows the Holy Spirit to give us insights, be it an encouraging question or a discerning action.

These principles are not limited to your ministry; they can be applied universally—in your relationships with your spouse, children, or anyone else in your life. In this way, we not only become more effective communicators but also more empathetic and effective in our ministries.