Video Transcript: Making a Plan Part 2

Hi, my name is Steve Elzinga. Again, welcome to the coaching class. Again, I hope you're  practicing and I know I keep asking you that. I hope you take me seriously. There's no way  that you can really grab and hold on to these things without putting them into practice. So  when you hear a session, lecture, write down a few things, few ideas that you can try out on  people, you can try these things out, your spouse, your friends, group of people that you've  played soccer with, in, in any and every conversation, people are talking about their  frustrations, they're talking about some problem in their lives. You're with your best friend,  he's talking about one of his children, discipline problems. People complain about their  spouses all the time. And this is an opportunity for you to be a coach, not to give them advice. But to sort of help them for example of someone who's talking negatively about his spouse,  you know, well, she doesn't this and she doesn't meet my needs, and she doesn't have time  for me, or she doesn't, you know, some problem. Generally, people just like to keep  complaining. And you can cut through all the complaining by simply asking, Well, what do you want to do? What do you want? And what can you do about it? A lot of times, you can't  change other people. People complain about their boss or some work thing it's, what are you  going to do? What's the thing that you can do a lot of times, you can't change other people.  But there are things that you can do. And sometimes we we want to wallow in our problems,  which doesn't change anything. And sometimes we just have to decide, okay, what am I going to do? What do I want? And what, what goal can I have? How can I do something to change  the situation? I can't, you can't always change other people. But you can change the things  and how you react and what you want to do. You don't like a job, you can quit it. Or you can  figure out another way it's it comes down to what do you want to do? So we're looking right  now we're in this section where we're trying to help the client make a plan, the client has  already made a list of things he liked to change, change in his life opportunities, wherever  they might, whatever they might be, and you help them prioritize, you know, I want to work  on my marriage. First, I want to work at this thing at my job. So they have a they have a goal.  They prioritize the goals. And now you're trying to help them make a plan? How am I going to  achieve this goal? How are you going to achieve this goal? Planning is about figuring out a  progression of steps that lead to a desired accomplishment or outcome over time. Just a little. I know we looked at this last time last time, but I just wanted you to keep these things in your  mind. Why do people need to help planning, help planning what they decided to do? Number  one, they lack patience. Once people have a goal, they just want to go out there and do  something. I remember there's a saying maybe I mentioned that in an earlier session,  Abraham, famous thing that Abraham Lincoln once said, Abraham Lincoln said, if if you give  him two hours to cut a tree down, he'll spend the first hour sharpening the saw. So in other  words, I think that applies to goals, you have a goal. And often people want to just go after it  and do it. Instead of sitting back and going, Hey, let's think about this goal. Let's break this  goal down into its steps and see what we really want to do. But people lack patience. So as a  coach, you're helping them be patient. Number two, many are not gifted at breaking down a  desired outcome into a logical sequential steps necessary to accomplishment. Not everyone is able to look at something and say, there's eight steps to make this happen. People look at it  and they have no idea where to begin or what to do. They just know what they want. In the  end. People are very good at knowing what they want in the end, but they're not always very  good at figuring out how to get there. Many are too optimistic about how much time it takes  to accomplish a desired goal. Everything looks easy until you get into it. You have no idea how hard something is or how long it's going to take until you get into it. Planning allows you a  little bit of Thinking about something ahead of time instead of learning everything as you go,  which often can be painful, it's like, you know, I don't have to touch the hot stove, to realize  that that's something I should should shouldn't do. I can think about touching the hot stove,  or let's see, what would that be? Yeah, that's not good, I'm not gonna do that. You can think  about some things ahead of time, that will save a lot of grief. A lot of people that have no  discipline process to figure out, you know, even how to make a plan. People are not used to  making plans, people are used to just following what someone else tells them to do. Or  they're used to a routine that they, that they do all the time, I don't have to plan how I'm  going to get to work every morning. You know I get in my car, and my car knows exactly what 

to do. My feet know what to do, they somehow I end up with socks and shoes, and I have a  pants and the shirt, and I end up with breakfast, and I get in the car, all these, there's a lot of  steps that are involved for me to get to work. And I don't think about any of them. Why  because they do them all the time. And that's the way most of life is most of life is just  following one step after another things that you have in your life, things you've been taught  all your life things that you've been doing. A coach is not needed for that a coach is needed  for these new things, this new thing, it's like going to a different job for the very first time, and you have no idea what equipment you need, you have no idea how to get there, you don't  know where the place is, you've never seen the you go into the building, you know where to  go. So now we have to think about this, we have to stop and go, Okay, what are we doing  here? So as a coach, you're trying to help them do that. Alright. Well, how does coaching help  people plan out what they've decided to do, it slows the planning process down with the help  of planning models, the coach can help the client figure out the steps involved in trying to  reach a goal. So that's what we've been talking about these planning models. A planning  model is just a way for the client to think about planning, there are many different ways to  think about planning. And as a coach, you're just laying them out there for the client. Again,  you're not telling them what to do. You're not even saying which model that we should look at  to help in the planning process. I'm just giving you some options. And then you as the client,  you have to figure out which you'd like to follow. So there's three basic model categories.  Number one, there's pre planning, we looked at that last week we looked at, there were warm  or cold resources, equipment that I need space that I need. And we looked at warm resources, are there people in your life that can help you people with certain skills that you should go  seek out. And then we looked at intellectual resources is there knowledge, the information  that you need to research or to find people that know something about whatever, whatever it  is you want to try to accomplish? So that's all in the pre planning, we're just looking at those  kinds of things. So now you have all that. Now, how are we going to actually put some of that  into a plan? Number two brainstorm, breakdown? So how are we going to brainstorm and  break all of these things that we have? There's all these different ways of trying to accomplish this goal, all these pieces? How are we going to break that down and make some sense out of  it? And then finally, a commitment. So we're going to look in this session at brainstorm plans  of action models. Okay. So we've looked at the cold resources, warm resources, intellectual  resources, we've done some research, we've gotten some information. We've got some  people on board, but now how do we put this together in a plan? First step, only model, okay,  the client has already chosen his action goal. I wanna wanna a better marriage, okay, that's  just a general goal. But what's an action step? I'm going to, you know, I want to increase our  communications. So I have step one, we're going to go on a date night, every month. Step  two, we're going to start doing our devotions together. Step three, you know, you have this  whole list of things, and you don't know which order to take them. You don't know what the  whole plan looks like. But so as a coach, I'm coming to you as a client saying, well, here's one  way to think about a plan. And maybe you're intimidated. by this whole planning, you know, I  don't know how to plan to make a whole car. Okay, let me make this simple. We could do this  model, the first step only model is really easy because all you have to do is figure out the first step. The client has already chosen his action goal, the coach could simply ask the client to  say what his first action step is towards achieving his chosen goals. So what would a first step be? Okay, I'm going to this Friday, take my wife on a date, that's your first step. You're not  saying what you're going to do the next week or the next week or the next week? Or what the whole process is towards making a better marriage. You're just saying this, I'm just trying to  figure out the first step. So you can help a client who who's struggling with the whole  planning, make it simple, they just need the first step. You need to know the what, what are  you going to do? When are you going to do it? And where are you going to do it? And then  finally, why are you going to do it, that's the reason why you want to do this whole goal thing  in the first place. Alright, so that's the first step model. Then there's the mud on the wall  model. We use this phrase before, when we were talking about commitment. You know, mud  on the wall is it's a phrase we have in English. I don't know, in other countries what it might  be. It's kind of I don't know where the etymology of this is, but you throw mud on the wall. 

Random, you pick up mud from the ground, you throw it on the wall, and you have no idea  what's going to stick on the wall. Usually, it's the clay that sticks. So the the analogy is, is you  have no idea what is going to work. And so you try many, many things, to finally figure out  what it is. So this is a priority. This is like a planning, this is a way to plan, the client is not  really sure where to start in organizing a plan to reach his action goal, but is willing to try a  few things in the hope of eventually figuring it out. Okay, so you want a better marriage,  you're thinking of various options, you you don't know exactly where you should start. So  start anywhere, okay, you're just throwing mud on the wall. And maybe the first thing that  you do is not going to work very well. But that's okay. Because see, and the reason why this is good to help the client figure this out. And if he, let's see, chooses this model, I think I'd like to do the mud on the wall thing. See, then when he goes to try something, he doesn't have  these huge expectations. He's like, Well, I'm just throwing mud on the wall. And I didn't know  what was going to work or not. It's good that a client goes into something that he's not sure  about with lower expectations. People often go in with high expectations, they're finally going  to do something about it, they have an action plan, and it's going to work. And then when it  doesn't, they get discouraged. And then they their motivation for doing anything goes away.  That's the cycle people often get into, they have high expectations, and then then they get  knocked really low. And then they don't want to, they don't want to make any more goals.  They just keep doing what they're doing. And people a lot of times people are just getting by  in life in our marriage isn't great. It's not bad. Let's just leave it the way it is. My job isn't  great. It's not bad. Let's just leave it the way it is. I have these dreams I've never  accomplished but on the other hand, I have things to do, someone's paying me and we'll just  leave it the way it is. Okay. So people sort of get lulled into this lackluster kind of boring  lifestyle where things are sort of evened out, because they don't like that cycle of getting all  excited. And then being let down. So instead of letting them get all excited, keep expectations low. We're just trying something here. We're doing the mud on the wall model. We're throwing a little mud on the wall this week. Let's see what sticks. If it doesn't stick, which has  something else the next week and see what see whether something's sticks and what do we  find something? And then we can drill down on this? Of course there's the what you know,  what are you going to do? What mud are you gonna throw on the wall? When? And where are  you going to do it? And finally, why are you doing it? Why is always good? You why the why  question is always a question of motivation. You have a goal of you know, taking classes at  Christian Leaders Institute, well, why are you doing this? So you're taking the class, and then  you get bogged down into a class, you don't like to professor. You don't like what's going on?  And yet you got to finish it to get your certificate as you're losing your motivation. Then you  have to step back and go Why am I doing this? I'm doing this because I have this vision of  ministry. And sometimes you have to just do things you have to do the hard thing to get to  the thing that you want. So why is always A motivational reminder, why am I working on my  marriage? Why am I working on this friendship? Why do I want to plant a church? Why am I  eager to take this next class at Christian Leaders Institute? What's my broader vision?  Shotgun method. The United States is a gun culture. So I, when I was 12 years old, I got my  first gun, it was a shotgun, the shotgun doesn't, it doesn't just shoot one bullet, it'll shoot up  like, like 100 little bullets. And so when you shoot it, there's a broad pattern. And it's, it's  mainly meant for shooting ducks, you know, birds flying because they're 100 yards away, and one little bullet, you're not going to hit this little bird. So the shotgun blast sort of spreads out  the bb little bbs, the little bullets, if you will. And then you might with one of those hit the  duck. So that that is a planning kind of model, the client is not really sure where to start in  organizing a plan to reach his action goal. So he starts by randomly writing down possible  action steps that might contribute to reaching his goal. So okay. Write down as many steps as  you can think of, that are related to your goal, you could do this, you could do that you could  do this, you could do that. This could be first it could be second, who knows, doesn't matter.  Just write down as many things as you can. It's like, if you're going to build a car, instead of  worrying about the whole process of where you should start, just write down everything  involved. Yeah, There's an engine known as air conditioning, there's doors, there's windows,  there's wheels, there's differential, there's all the different parts, and just randomly putting all

the different parts that make a car, there's probably a correct order to these things. Okay, if  you really know what you're doing, you would start here, then you do this, and then you do  that. But in this model, we don't have to worry about that. We don't know what the correct  order is. So we're just going to shoot the shotgun, we're going to look at all the different  things and then pick one, it might be the wrong order, and might might not be the way to go.  But we're at least getting off the ground. Because otherwise, a client can get so bogged down in trying to figure out what the exact process is that they don't do anything. And the goal is  always action, we got to get something down. we're going to try something, even if you fail,  you can learn from failure, you can't learn from doing nothing. And nothing is going to change in your life unless you do something. Okay? People want it all figured out. They want to know  that if they do this, it's going to work. And since they're not sure about it, they end up doing  nothing. And then nothing does change. And again, then people settle. And they just keep  doing the routine of their life. So you have to stop and go, Okay, I want something different, I  want something changed. What are all the pieces, I shoot the shotgun and I just go in a  certain direction. And I sort of learn as I go. linear sequence model, the client is ready to  figure out all the steps that are necessary to reach the desired end action goal. Each step has  its own what, when, where and how. So here's the person, you know, I know what I want to  do, I'm going to first take classes, I'm going to get this certificate, then I'm going to get that  certificate, I'm going to do this certificate. And then I'm going to volunteer in my Church here, and I'm going to volunteer there, then I'm going to get some preaching experiences. And then I'm hoping in three years to plant my own church, they know all the steps leading to what  they want to do. So now they just have to look at each step. Okay, what am I going to do?  When am I going to do? Where am I going to do it and how am I going to do it? Step one, step two, step three, one step just follows another mining versus searching for gold model. Okay.  When you mine for gold, you already know where the gold is. Okay, gold is here. Someone  discovered it. We know what's imbedded in this rock or it's in this river. In the United States  that happened in California and Alaska, people found some gold and then 1000s of people  flock there to figure it out. The gold is there we just have to go get it. You just have to  methodically go after it. When you search for gold, you plan as you go, you have no idea  where it is. You know so I'm in this river then I go to that river then I go to this mountain then I go to this cave. I don't know where it is yet. So I'm I'm I'm busy hunting and searching. And of  course with either one you still need to know what when, where, how and why. So sometimes  If a client has a goal, and it's like he knows exactly what it is, he just has to do the work.  Okay? I want to change my relationship with my wife, I want to closer a relationship. I know  the goal is there, we just have to do the work to get there. Other people are like, I don't even  know, I don't even know where to start. I don't know what to fix or what not to fix. They're still trying this river and trying that river. So you're helping a client think about, okay, I have this  goal. But where are you? Do you sort of know where it is? You just have to do the work? Or do  you? Or do you need to do more exploration as you as you make a plan? Step one, you know  you do step one, but step two is dependent on what happened with step one. So I go to a  river, I'm looking for gold, I find nothing. Okay, step two is to go to another river. Step one is I  go to this river and I start panning for gold, I find some gold, then step two is, you know, a  big, I bring bigger pans or I make it more automated, or, you know, you know, I ramp up  everything, because I know the gold is there. So that that's what we're talking about. When  you're searching for gold, you're your steps are dependent. So you do one thing, if it works,  then it determines what you should do the next. For your next step, step three is dependent  on what happens with step two. Okay, research versus learn as you go model. If the client is  not sure what kind of plan is needed for his desired action goal, then he can either adopt a  learn as you go model, or he must do some research. If he chooses to do research, then he  needs a plan to do that. Okay. So, so for example, if you want to do more research before you  make a plan, then you have to, you know, okay, so now you almost need a plan for your  research. That's what I'm saying here, are you going to do the first step only model with the  research? I don't I don't know how much research I should do. I'm just going to start with the  first step, I'm going to Google something, that's where I'm going to start? Or am I going to  throw a lot on the wall kind of research, you know, I'll just check a few things and see, you 

know, what I might learn, or is there linear sequence models, I'm going to first go to the  internet. And I'm going to ask these people. And then there's people that have already  success, succeeded in this. So I was planting a church, for example. And I was to do the  research model here. Remember where it's the research model of trying to even figure out  how to plan and you know, I want to plan to make the plant a church. And I don't know where  to start or what to do. So I'm going to do some research. And I'm going to first go research,  the internet, I'm going to Google this, how to start a church and find all kinds of things. Same  thing I'm going to do is I'm going to talk to the church planter that I know in this town.  Secondly, I'm going to read this book that I heard about planting a church cert. So you have  this whole plan of how you're going to research before you even figure out what plan you  might come up with. Or are you going to just learn as you go? Here, I'm going to try this. I'm  going to learn this, I'm going to do this. So you know you're presenting these things to your  clients saying what is it that you sort of gravitate? What would you like to do? I could tell you  what to do. But then if it doesn't work, you blame me or you're not that motivated. Remember always that in the whole coaching thing, people become more motivated to do the things that they come up with, than what you suggest. Solo versus Team model the clients plan is  contingent on who could possibly help or not. So that's just a possibility isn't half doesn't have to go this way. Okay, you have a goal you want to do you want to plant a church, that's your  goal. Now how what kind of plan are we going to come up with? One of the things that you  might ask is, are you going to do this alone? Are you going to do this with help if you want to  do this with help? Okay, what does that mean in the whole planning process? Alright, that's  enough for now and we'll see you again next time.