Video Transcript: Making a Plan Part 3

All right, my name is Steve Elzinga, as you probably know by now, and this is the coaching  class, again, did you practice and made a big deal about it in the last section, you really need  to, or this stuff will not stick to you. Coaching really is, it's easy. I mean that the concept of it  is really easy. The three things that you're supposed to do very simple. It's easy, but it's hard  to do, it's easy to understand what you should do. But in the moment, it's a lot harder. And so  you really need to practice because you will, I think it will take a while for you to actually  follow the rules of coaching. And the biggest thing is to not give advice. This is client  centered, you're trying to help the client figure out the answers to his own problems, the  client has to figure out what he wants to do, the client has to figure out a plan to do it, the  client has to be motivated to follow through, and you're just presenting a structure you're  you're helping present a a system that will help support them in doing this. We can be  incredibly independent people, we can accomplish things, but nothing that anyone does is on  their own, everything we do is the foundation of all the people in our lives. So no one is an  independent person, everyone is dependent. Even when you know a creative person goes out and makes things happen. There's, there's a whole structure underneath them to make that  happen. And as I brought up in the first two sessions of this course, the structures that help  people know what they want to do, to do what they want to do, and to actually succeed at it.  Those things have fallen apart. It used to be people their life was, you know, supported by  family, friends that were nearby. There weren't a lot of choices, people just did what they  were going to do. Now there's so many choices, and there's no support behind whatever it is  you decide. So people need someone to come alongside and help them succeed at figuring  out what they want to do and then doing it. So we're in the part about making a plan. Part  three, I've called this. Remember, coaching is about getting your client to some form of  action. Okay, that's the goal it's not counseling. It's not understanding, not figuring out, you  know, I do these things, because I was raised by this kind of father, I mean, those are all good things. But that's not what coaching is, coaching is about getting your client to do something.  Three things coaches do to accomplish this, this is the basic format of a coach. Number one,  help clients figure out what they want to do, make a decision number two help a client figure  out how to do what they want to do. That's the plan. And finally, help the client do what they  plan to do. That's management. So right now we're looking at help the client figure out how to do what they want to do, coming up with a plan that will help the client meet the objection,  objectives, action that they figured out they wanted to do in their lives. So planning what is  planning, planning is about figuring out a progression of steps that lead to a desired  accomplishment or outcome over time. Why do people need help planning to do what they  decided to do? Lack of patience, and just going over this again. So you understand like a  patience, people are in a hurry. They have a goal they want to get to it and they don't want to spend time thinking about what they want to do. Many are not gifted at breaking down a  desired outcome into logical sequential steps necessary to accomplish it, accomplish it, they  don't know how to break things down. Many are too optimistic about how much time it takes  to accomplish the desired goal. That's probably my biggest flaw. Everything new to me always looks easy. at my church, there's a phrase that I'm known for saying some people say they're  gonna put it on my tombstone, and it's this phrase. How hard could it be? So whenever we're  doing something at the church, and I have an idea for something, I'll say, Well, how hard can  it be? And what I've learned in life is is often harder than I thought. So instead of just  launching into something, not counting the cost of what, you know, what is what is it going to  really going to take to accomplish this objective? Don't stop and think about what's really  going to take it you can you can have a goal, okay, I want to lose weight. Alright, well, how  are you going to do that? I don't know, I'm gonna eat less and exercise more. Okay. Those are  the two standard ways to do this. Okay. Well, most people have that thought, but then they  never do anything. They never accomplish this goal, because they've never thought how hard this is going to be you what are the changes? Are you going to have to make every single day  this week? You know, in almost every hour of this week, you know, what are the pitfalls?  What, Where are you going wrong? What can you change, this is not going to be easy. But  people are like, well, I need to lose weight. I'm gonna do and they're hurry to do it. They want  to lose 20 pounds in two weeks. And then of course, it doesn't happen. They get discouraged, 

they fail. They put that goal off for another year. I try it again the next year. So as a coach,  we're trying to help people. No, let's not do that. Let's slow down. Let's figure this out.  Number four, no discipline process to figure it out. i.e. there is no one here to help me actually take the time to figure these things out. How does coaching help people plan out what they  have decided to do, it slows the planning process down. With the help of planning models, the coach can help the client client figure out the steps involved in trying to reach a goal. Okay.  So three basic model categories pre planning, we looked at that a couple sessions ago. Last  time we looked at number two, brainstorm, break down. However, the many ways that we can break this down, we can break it down into all the steps. Or we could just throw mud on the  wall, or we can just start with the first step and then worry about it later. We can mine for the  gold, or we can look for the gold all the different ways that you can break a plan down. What  we want to look at in this session is commitment. Okay, so we've done the pre planning, we  looked at the cold resources are the equipment that I need? Is there space that I need to  make my goal happen? We've looked at the warm resources, people, are there people that  can help me people with skills that can help me? Who do I need on my team? Is there  intellectual resources? Do I need to do some research? Is there a book? Is there a person that  knows something about this, that might help me? So again, you're helping the client figure  that all out, you're not the the resource, okay? Don't become the resource. Don't become the  answer person, don't become, you know, the Google source for your client, your client can ask you all these things. But if you become that resource, you're the one doing the work for them. You are trying to help them do the work for themselves. You're not trying to, you're not  feeding them with a fish, you're teaching them how to fish. And so you never want to take the ownership for that you're always trying to help them find someone else. Find someone else to  talk to. I'm a I'm an expert in helping you figure out what you want to do. I'm not the one  giving the advice. I'm not your mentor, I'm not your counselor, I'm not your teacher. So three  basic model categories, pre planning, brainstorm, breakdown, and now we're going to look at  commitment. How to how do you help the client make a commitment to a plan of action that  he's come up with? commitment to action items? Can these are like ways of helping the client think about their commitment to their plan? Number one, make a commitment to try for a  season. Okay, you have this plan. And now one way you can attack the plan is to have this  attitude. I'm going to try it for a season. What does that mean? I'm going to try it for a month. I'm going to try it for a week. I'm going to give this thing six months, I'm going to work on this plan for six months. And then I'm going to evaluate, see that sex that sets expectations with  the client. Without that a client goes in optimistically. And he thinks something is going to  happen in a week. And then when it doesn't, he gets discouraged and quit. So you ask him  realistically. What kind of commitment Do you think this is? If you make a commitment to try  for a season, how long of the season would you know do you have in mind? I'm going to try it  for a month. See if they have a month in mind. Then when the first week doesn't go that well.  It's like well, it's only week one They still have some energy. Remember two make a  commitment by throwing mud on the wall and see what sticks. So I've used this analogy  many, many times, and it applies to planning applies to the decision applies to all the  different steps that we've been talking about. And it's simply, okay, you have this plan. But  you don't know if it's a good plan. Okay. Or maybe you're solid about this plan. So you don't  want this model. But But now you've come up with a plan. But you're second guessing the  plan, it's okay. Some people can never come up with a plan, because they come up with a  plan, but they're not sure it's going to work. And so until they are sure the whole thing is  going to work, they don't do anything. And so you can help them get off the dime and do  something by by presenting this kind of commitment, model. Look, you don't necessarily have to know it's going to work, we can try this form of commitment. So it's a low level  commitment, make a commitment to throw some mud on the wall, make a commitment to try out this plan and see what works. And you're not sure what will work, whether any of it will  work, or whether some of it will work. And that's okay. You're giving them permission to  experiment a little. Make a commitment of time. Okay. Again, it's about expectations. How  long is this going to take? How hard are you going to work at this, you you make a  commitment to do something before we meet again, like a commitment of an hour, a 

commitment of 10 minutes, a commitment of three hours, a commitment of a whole day?  See, without setting that expectation? You're setting the whole thing up for failure? Make a  commitment of energy. How much energy are you going to give this? What kind of priority?  Are you going to give this action step for this week? You look at your week, and you have all  these commitments? Are you really going to do anything with this? See, that's a problem.  People want to make changes in their life. But they're bogged down with all the other  commitments and obligations, that they never get to the things that they really want to do.  And that's how people are, they're feeling squeezed, that they're doing all the things they  have to do, and they never get to the things that they want to do. So as a coach your helping  them think through that? Let's think through this? Because you can't do both. So what is it  going to be this week, you're going to have to let something go. If you're going to give time  energy to this thing. So you're helping them think about that. If they don't think about that.  They're not going to add this new commitment. They're going to say it while you're talking to  them, but they won't follow through. Delay making a commitment until the next meeting.  Okay, so you looked at a plan, you're talking about a plan and then they just don't know what  kind of commitment they want to make. So one of the options as well. Okay, let's just delay  that you need to do some more thinking about this plan. Let's not prematurely make a  commitment to something that you're really not going to be committed to. Alright, so that's,  that's all we have the whole planning thing. Next time we're going to move on to  management