Video Transcript: Managing the Plan of Action Part 3
All right, welcome back again. Steve Elzinga here. The coaching class. We're looking at managing. We made decisions for a goal in some area of life, we make a plan to achieve that goal, and now we're holding our client accountable for following through with that goal.
I want to talk a little bit about sand in the wheels of accountability. Accountability is a tricky thing. People want accountability — they welcome it before it happens. But after it happens, they’re not always so welcoming. It depends. If they didn’t succeed at whatever it is you're going to hold them accountable for, then you become a reminder of their failure.
In the beginning, you're helping the client think about what he wants to do — thinking about some goal, some area of life they want to change, some area they want to go to the next level. That’s exciting. Maybe they've been stuck in boredom, stuck in a rut, or maybe things have been going downhill. Maybe they have so many commitments that they’re not succeeding at any of them because they can’t prioritize.
You come along and help them figure out what they really want to do. You help them figure out a plan of action that looks doable. They’re excited. Then you ask, “Okay, we're going to meet next week — how can I hold you accountable?” They say, “Hold me accountable for doing this.” They’re optimistic.
But most people underestimate what it will really take to make something happen. You can decide something. You can think about it. But actually putting in the effort is another thing.
Why Accountability Gets Hard
People welcome accountability until they hit bumps in the road. You meet again and ask, “How did it go?” They say, “Well… here’s what happened.” They didn’t put in the time or effort. They promise, “Next week I’ll do it.”
You meet again. Another excuse.
If that happens two or three times, soon they won’t want to meet with you — because you are a reminder of their failure.
So accountability is delicate. That’s why you don’t want to be judgmental.
Sand in the Wheels of Accountability (What to Avoid)
1. Judgmentalism
Don’t have a tone that suggests your client is lazy, making excuses, or doesn’t really want to do what they say. Even if those things are true, it’s not your job to communicate them. It’s the client’s job to discover them.
Don’t give the sense that they failed you. That’s parenting, not coaching. Parents communicate disappointment. Bosses do it. Spouses do it. Churches sometimes do it. But people don’t get motivated when they feel judged.
2. Negativity
Clients tend to set the emotional tone. If they’re negative, you might become negative. Don’t. Stay neutral.
If they’re negative, say:
“Let’s look at why.”
“Explain what happened.”
“Let’s evaluate it.”
“What did you learn?”
“Do you want to change anything?”
From the coach’s perspective, even negative outcomes are just more data. Nothing is truly negative — it’s all information.
3. Being Uninterested
Don’t just sit there saying, “Uh-huh… okay.”
Active listening is:
“Tell me more about that.”
“How did you feel?”
“Can you explain that?”
Encourage them to keep talking.
4. Being Bored
If you’re bored, it will show — in your voice, posture, questions. Your client will feel it. And they already feel alone. You’re supposed to be part of their support system.
5. Being Dismissive
If they share something meaningful and you brush past it — “Okay, yeah, but let’s move on” — you’re signaling that what matters to them doesn’t matter to you.
The client is in charge of the content.
6. Impatience
Clients take time:
time to figure out what they want
time to make a plan
time to succeed
It’s easy to get impatient and want to jump in with answers. We finish people’s sentences. We think we’re helping. We’re not.
Patience communicates:
“I believe in you.”
“You can figure this out.”
“You are capable.”
That belief is powerful.
Grease in the Wheels of Accountability (What Helps)
1. Be Positive
Even when things don’t work, you say:
“Okay, what did you learn?”
“This is good information.”
“We can still do this.”
You’re the halftime coach. If the team is down and the coach goes down with them, who lifts them up?
2. Be Supportive
“This is hard — but I believe you can do it.”
“How can I help you succeed?”
“Maybe we need to adapt the plan.”
The client is not a failure. The plan just wasn’t right yet.
3. Be Encouraging
Failure isn’t the end. It’s part of the process.
Every failure is a learning experience.
4. Be Inquisitive
Ask:
“What was that like?”
“Tell me more.”
“How did that work?”
Don’t assume you already know. Even if you’ve heard the story a hundred times, they haven’t told it a hundred times.
5. Be Interested
“I’m interested in your life, your goals, your struggles. I’m on your team.”
That’s what a coach is — part of the support system.
6. Be Empathetic
Walk with them through ups and downs. Let them feel what they feel. Don’t rush to fix it.
Sometimes people need to feel sad, frustrated, or discouraged before they can move forward.
7. Be Hopeful
When everything is going wrong, you are the source of hope.
“We just haven’t figured out what works yet.”
Thomas Edison tried 10,000 filaments before the light bulb worked. Hope keeps people trying.
Accountability Always Ends with a New Commitment
Every accountability session loops back to:
What happened?
Evaluate it.
What did you learn?
What do you want to change?
What will you commit to before next week?
It might be the same commitment.
It might be a tweaked one.
It might be a new one.
But there must be a commitment.
Revisiting Commitment Models
Sometimes you revisit the commitment models:
hardest thing first
easiest thing first
biggest bang for the buck
fun vs. boring
Holy Spirit or Word-guided
opportunities, obligations, commitments
try it for a season
throw mud on the wall
You help the client clarify what kind of commitment they’re making.
So next week, when you ask, “How did it go?” you both know exactly what you’re talking about.
Alright, that’s it for now.