Video Transcript: The Place of Prayer in Coaching

Alright, welcome again, Steve Elzinga. Here the coaching class, I want to talk in this session  about prayer. Last session we talked about Bible, Bible was listening to what God has to say  prayer is speaking to God, and also listening to see what God might have to say, again, the  

whole, the whole premise is this is Christian counseling, or coaching, not just coaching. If  we're going to ask our clients to figure out their problems, figure out the solutions. Where are  they going to get the stuff were with to figure these things out? It's not just inside of them,  not just, you know, some creative thing. The collective universal thing that we're all a part of,  it's actually a connection to God and God in His Church. And so using prayer and using the  Bible, in your sessions is, is sort of a prerequisite to making this Christian coaching, as  opposed to coaching. So what's the place of prayer in coaching? First of all, a prayer for  wisdom. You're asking the client to figure out things for himself. Where's this wisdom come  from? James 1:5. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all  without reproach? And it will be given him, okay, where does the wisdom to figure these  things out come from they come from God. So encourage the client to pray to God to help  figure these things out. Prayer commitments, like a one of the things that we talked about in  earlier sessions is you make up a goal, but then you, you get the client to make a  commitment, maybe even write it down sign it. people committed to things, they don't do  things. Okay. But your commitment we talked about this is only as good as what your  commitment is rest upon. commitments are promises. And promises generally, are applied on top of other promises. So in the United States, when you go to a court of law, before you give  any testimony, at least in the days gone by, they would hold out a Bible, you had to put your  left hand on the Bible, and you had to raise your right hand, and you had to promise you had  to swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So help you God. So, you know, we have the Bible, we have so help you, God, we're saying it over and over again, we  got the right hand up, we're all having all these different ways of trying to get someone to  say, or commit to really telling the truth. We can just say you're going to tell the truth we  might endeavor to do you agree to tell the truth? Yes. Okay. But no, we want to make sure and the way you make sure is your, your commitment or truth is based on other commitments. So commit your work, commit your plans to the Lord, not just to yourself is not just something  you want to do. You're committing this to the Lord's Prayer repentance. Clients want changes  in their lives. And sometimes Repentance means turning around, you're going in this  direction, you need to turn around and go in a different direction. You have to admit that that  what you've been doing so far has not been working. People don't want to do they didn't want a better marriage, but they don't want to admit that they've been doing the wrong things.  They want to be better parents, but they don't want to admit when they have been doing the  wrong things. Repentance, James 5:16 therefore confess your sins to each other, and pray for  each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and  effective. So actually getting the coach to pray for the client, the client admits things and the  coach prays for the client that's powerful and effective. Prayer can powerfully affect change  why not use it? praying to do the to do list here What's that? Psalm 143:8, let the morning  bring me word of your unfailing love for I put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go for to you I entrust my life. This is a great verse to start off every single morning. Show me the  way I should go for to you I entrust my blood Okay, How do you help your client do this? In a  practical way? The To Do list every day, we all have a to do list, what's the what are the things that I am going to accomplish today? What am I going to do today? People that are most  successful at getting things done actually write these things down. Here is what my goals are, this is what I hope to do. People write it, it's called a schedule or a planner of one sort or  another. And a lot of planners will have the words to do lists. And then you write down. I'm  gonna do this, I'm going to try that again. And I write all the things that I hope to get done  today. And then I check them off as I go. It's a to do list that I'm suggesting that a client  scratches out the words to do list. And he adds the word praye list. Because your to do list as  a Christian, is your prayer list? Because what is what? What are you going to try to do today  that you wouldn't want God to bless that, that you wouldn't want God involved, everything  that you're going to do is actually your prayer list. your to do list becomes your prayer list. So  it's not just something I want to do? God is involved in the prayer of dependence. Psalm 

142:6-7, listen to my cry, for I'm in desperate need, rescue me from those who pursued me.  So they're too strong for me, set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name, Then  the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me. in all your coaching in  the atmosphere that you try to create, we're trying to create an atmosphere where we're  talking about goals and things we want to change and going to the next level, different areas  of our life, coming up with goals, coming up plans, managing this whole process, looking at  successes and failures, adjusting things, all of it needs to be done in the context of we are  dependent on God. This is not a human endeavor that we're involved here. It's a godly  endeavor. And so reading verses like this, periodically, in your in your coaching sessions,  constantly reminding your client and yourself that this is a God thing that we're doing. It's not  just a human thing that we're doing. And we're dependent on God, and God making things  happen. We can't make these things happen on our own prayer for the plan, come up with  goals, you finally make a plan of what you want to do. Okay, What kind of prayer? Can we  come up with proverbs 16:9, the heart of a man plans his way but the Lord establishes his  steps. Dear God, please establish the steps. We've made these steps in a plan. Okay, we need your guidance in this. And we've done our best to figure out what the steps are. But if if they  need adjusting, let us know. And then, you know, Lord, we ran into some bumps into the road  here. Do we need to change our steps? Or do we need to persist in these steps? We're not  sure which to do, Lord. Okay. It's hard to figure out these things. Sometimes. When we want  God with us every step of the way, let your clients have this sense that it's the three of you  working on this. You have to coach these the client or she's the client, but God is in the middle of the room too God is the only God is the one that goes with the client. You don't go with the  client during the week. But God does. So it's legitimate to ask, Well, how did it go with you  and God this week? Proverbs 19:21. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it's the  purpose of the Lord, that will stand. We're trying to figure out the plan of God. That's  ultimately what we're trying to help the client do, figure out God's will for your client's life.  And we don't know what that will is. So we're trying to figure it out. And sometimes the plan  that we come up with is our own plan. And ultimately, our own plan will not stand and we're  going to be frustrated, but it's okay. The frustration just helps us get closer to God's will. God's plan. That's what we want to seek out and it may take a while to get there. We may have a lot of failures along the way. But every failure just helps us get closer to God's will. That's  ultimately what we want. Firm surrender. Romans 12:1-2, I appeal to you, therefore brothers,  by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the  renewal of your mind that by testing, you may discern what is the will of God. By testing. See, that's what you're having the client, do this whole timke. your testing, to see what God's rule  is, let's try this and see how it goes. Let's keep talking to God. Let's read our Bibles. Let's do  this, to figure out what God's will is for you. What is good and acceptable and perfect. So  we're going for this good, acceptable, perfect, but you don't know what it is. So reading  verses like this and discussing them a little bit with your client, in every session, a couple of  verses like this, just to help your client remember that it's not about him. It's not about her.  It's not about their will. It's not about their kingdom that they want to build it's about God's  Kingdom it's God's will. It's God's purpose. Because ultimately, that is what is going to be  successful. Anything else will always end in failure. Okay, so how do you use prayer? In your  coaching experience? Number one, begin and end sessions with prayer, why not? I mean,  we're meeting together, God, thank you for letting us be here together, guide us, enable us to do the work that we're going to do. We don't want to do it on our own power. We want to be  reminded of your will. We want your presence, we invite you to sit at the table with us.  Number two, so So how do you do that? Well, the coach can pray that I mean, that's how you  start, I'm going to pray this prayer. Maybe the next time you ask the client to pray, why don't  you do our opening prayer. Or you may do a little bit of both. You know, I'm going to start to  prayer and you end up sort of mixed those ways of doing it. Number two, pray when stuck,  get we're stuck. We're frustrated. Let's pray. Pray when progress is made. Lord, we're making  progress. Is this The direction you want us to go. Pray when good things happen. Don't forget  to thank God, it was great. And what are what we came up with this thing, the client with me 

did it. And it works. We sell it, celebrate these things, pray, when you're frustrated, pray when you're happy, pray without ceasing. At any time in the session, you might suggest that you  pray about it. And in fact, do it so often that eventually you're you know, it's working. When  finally your client does that. Your client says, Hey, maybe we should pray about this. That's  ultimately what you'd like. So when you do it, don't say, let's pray. You ask the client, do you  think we should pray about this? It's like giving the ownership away. It's a subtle move from  you doing it to giving it away? Do you think we could pray about this? Do you think we didn't  think it would be a good thing to pray about this? It helps them start thinking that way? Yeah,  I think this would be and ultimately, eventually your client figures out it all by himself. That's  when you know, it's working. Questions for clients about prayer? Okay. So again, we're  assuming that you're the client is a prerequisite your client is Christian coaching, not just  coaching, you're assuming that your client has a walk with God, what's your walk with God?  It's daily being in the Word of God. And it's daily talking to God and listening to God in prayer.  So if you assume that you can use that, what has God been telling you lately in your prayers?  We're trying to figure out what you should do. We're trying to follow through on a plan of  action or we're trying to manage a plan of action. What has God been saying to you lately in  any of this in any of the three things that a coach helps the client do whether it's figuring out  what area of life they want to change or go to the next level? What plan they have in order to  accomplish that or you're managing the process of working out the plan doesn't matter which  one of these three things what has God been saying to you in your prayer life with regard to  any of these three things. Number two, how have your prayers to God everyday been  impacting the goals you're trying to achieve? You know, there's so many of your clients as  well, I haven't been praying everyday, well, what do you think we should do that? Again, you  don't force, you don't tell the client to do it, you ask them. They have to own this thing, if they don't own it, they're not going to do it. They have to own it. So they have to own that process  first. And once they do it, God will impact their goals. You know, I was trying to do this thing  pray that I remember God is with me. And so I did it for a lot of different ways, that God being  there impacts, people will do things, when they have a sense of God being with them. And if  you want change, if the goal is to change and go to the next level, you're getting, you're  trying to get someone to do what they haven't been doing. And they need all the resources  behind them in order to make these changes. People don't change generally. People want to  change, they want all kinds of things, but they don't. People try to people generally keep  doing what they've always done. And so the only way we're going to break out of that is is a  sense of God that they're helping to make it happen. I'm not a mentor to do these things on  my own. Number three, who could you get to pray for you? The prayer of a righteous man is  powerful and effective. Why? I don't know that? Why didn't God choose to use the prayers of  other people to make things happen? I pray and maybe nothing happens. I get someone else  to pray that prayer for me. And something happens, why I don't know. God wants to, you  know, wants us to be interrelated to each other. And so he, he sets up the system, I don't  know why he sets up the system, but that's the system. So if the client wants to succeed in  making changes and following through and doing goals and making plans and following  through the plans, then he needs as much help as he can get. He needs the support of other  people. So we believe in the power of prayer, so why not enlist the prayers of other people.  So a client has a goal. He has a plan. Alright, who can you share this plan with? Who can  support you in this? And who can be your prayer partners in this so that these changes?  Absolutely do happen. So use prayer, use the Bible, in your sessions. Bathe everything that  you're trying to do. With with Bible reading and prayer. There's no wrong time to say hey, let's pray about this. Alright, we'll see you again next week.