Video Transcript: Leadership Applied

It's good to have you back for this session. This is going to be a little bit of a difficult session  for me, as it said leadership applied. But I think I want to retitle this slide to the dark side of  the dark side of leadership. Just a reminder, again, we're talking about a leader culture, vision, and then the planning and the strategy that moves an organization forward or a church or  ministry forward. Now, I've taught this class on leadership before and this session and the  next one, we're not in this when I first developed this, these ideas about leadership. But I  came to understand something about leadership. Let me give you an example. And you all  know who this is Darth Vader, Star Wars, wonderful series of movies. And the theme of the  movie is that there is a force, right? There's a force that kind of integrates everything. And so  people are looking to the force to get power. And Darth Vader represents the Dark Side of the  Force. In other words, he's somebody who has tapped into he and the Emperor have tapped  into the evil side that draws people away from the important and away from God. Now, we  don't have to go very far in history, when we can identify that there have been some very  good leaders, competent, effective leaders, but their leadership really ended up bad, right? I  can put this picture up there. And if you've had any, any history whatsoever, you can  remember World War Two, Adolf Hitler, Adolf Hitler was an effective leader. He understood the culture of Germany post World War One and the Versailles Treaty and restrictions that put on  Germany, and he was able to communicate to those people a vision of a preferred future. And the vision that he gave was a powerful one, it was 1000 year Reich was what he kept saying,  in other words, a kingdom that was led by Germany that will last 1000 years, and it was going to encompass all of Europe and maybe even more, was a powerful vision people caught on to  and as a result, millions and millions and millions of people died, including about 6 million  Jews in the in the furnaces of the camps. So wasn't very good leadership in the sense of a  good leader is always looking for benefit for the people. But it was effective leadership and  that there was something evil and destructive about it. Stalin had a great vision that Russia  became the Soviet Union, and it conquered all of these neighboring states and was going to  have influence over them. And yet he himself was a very insecure leader. And because he  was so insecure, anybody who challenged him, ended up dying. Other people who politically  expressed an opinion against where he was leading people ended up in a concentration camp, one of the gulags an effective leader and that the nation moved the direction he wanted to  move, but certainly created a lot of havoc and pain in his past and we could go on with these  people. Here's your Saddam Hussein in Iraq, and go down an effective leader, but he led by  force, he subjugated people and he had a big enough army within this country that he could  do that. And he had visions are of expanding his influence. So he attacks Kuwait, and, and etc. Now, those are just a few of people who recognize a dark side, that leadership can have a  dark side to it. And we can look at such people we say, well, you know, that that sort of thing  doesn't happen with leaders in the Christian world does it? Well, the reality is, there is a dark  side that can be impactful even to Christian leaders. I can put a couple of pictures up there,  these are old ones, but Jim and Tammy Faye Baker led praise the Lord PTL television ministry  for many years. I believe that he started out well motivated and he's written books about his  own experience. But somewhere along the line, things got twisted. And he began collecting  money and he developed a lavish lavish lifestyle and and in order to keep that lavish lifestyle  going, he would collect money saying it was for a particular ministry like feeding the poor and instead it would be that money would get channeled into his personal accounts and he owned houses and he owned cars and and he had dog house that was air conditioned and and things like that. And eventually, the trade commission in the United States got ahold of him because  he was selling memberships and something that really didn't exist. And so he ended up in jail. He and Tammy Faye ended up getting divorced. And he ended up being a very negative  having a very negative impact on the kingdom, the kingdom that he said he wanted to build.  And what made him do that? Anyway? What made him turn when was the turning point that  the lavish lifestyle became more important to him than building the kingdom and seeing  people come to faith and grow in their faith? I went, when did that happen? Even he has a  difficulty pinpointing it but a poor childhood was one of the things that contributed to his  desire for greater comfort, greater evidence of his success. Jimmy Swaggart, another person  from about the same period of time. Well known nationally, internationally known pastor 

speaker, effective speaker, built a large church with a large television ministry, and then he  was caught soliciting for prostitution. And you'll note this is from People Magazine back in  March 7 1988. The sex scandal and the religious vendetta behind the fall of Jimmy Swaggart,  what happened to him? And what happened to him that he ended up in a hotel room, offering  to pay money to somebody who turned out to be an undercover police officer, what? Where  did things go wrong? Now you might say, I'd never do anything like that. I'd never do that. But I have in my mind. And in my hearts some people that I know, a man who was struggling who  wasn't paid much that's very true for often for pastors here in the United States not paid a  wage that is consistent with their education. And so he and his family, were just barely  making it from week to week. And then a crisis came up. And so he was short on money. And  in that church, there weren't checks and balances that were put into place. And so he was the one who would bring the offering for deposit. And one day, it just occurred to him that, you  know, he could solve this problem by just taking some money, though not enough to be  noticed, but some money out of the offering. And so he did that, and he covered the first  crisis bill. And he went home, he said he was so broken that he fell on his face before God and he confessed his sin. And He said, I'll never do that again. But about three or four months  later, it happened again. And then it happened again. Eventually, he was caught. And he was  convicted, and he was put in jail. What happened to him? Where did that dark side come  from? I think a number of pastors that I know who got involved in sexual misconduct. And  we're in a time in the United States, right about now, April 2018, where there's been this kind  of explosion of accusations against leaders in government and entertainment, etc. through  what's called the me to movement where women are standing up and saying, you know, I was mistreated sexually. Me to, you know, to my great sadness. This week, it was announced that  Bill Hybels has resolved, resigned from his position at Willow Creek prior he was planning to  retire in October, but he resigned early because of accusations that have come up against  him for some inappropriate behavior. The church has investigated, we don't know how much  is true or not. But what happened in those moments, where he put himself or let himself be  put into vulnerable situations. All of that stuff is the dark side, the dark side of leaders. Now  one of the quotes that has become very meaningful to me is one by Alexander Solzhenitsyn,  great Russian writer, in his book, the Gulag Archipelago, he tells about, it's reflecting it's a  fiction work, but it tells about his experience in the gulag, or the concentration camp in  Russia. And he's looking at, you know, some people who are stealing other people's food and,  and there's a doctor who helps him and he's trying to figure out this thing between good and  evil. And what does he conclude this powerful, quote, gradually, it was disclosed to me that  the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor  between political parties either, but right through human hearts, every human heart. Let that  sink in for a moment. This means that you have the potential to get into your dark side, you  have a dark side. You have parts of you that, that can be tempted to do wrong. Statistics,  which I'll share next time about pastors say that, you know, 81% of us have been tempted to  be inappropriate with a person of the opposite sex in our churches. We have the capability to  do that. Now I think about this, I'm speaking personally. I shared with you before that in 2006,  I was out of ministry for a year. The reason for that is I had developed what was called an  inappropriate relationship with a female staff member. Now, there are things that relationship  was not what you might be thinking, but it was inappropriate. And as I admitted that, finally to church leaders, I ended up having to step away from ministry. And I was put into a process of  reinstatement. I had to restore things with my family, who were shocked that I could give my  affections to another person, my wife was deeply hurt. I spent months working on learning  about myself, one of the things I remember sitting there, being in bed in a cheap hotel one  night and laying there thinking, How did this happen to me? Because I had a value, you know, like, a few sessions ago, and you write out your values, think about what are those things that are important to you and family was so important to me to how could I violate something that could threaten my own family, my own marriage. Now by God's grace, my wife, my family  forgave me. And then by God, surprising grace, I went through this process of restoration with within our denomination, with elders in the church I was serving, and eventually I was  restored to ministry. And I'm deeply grateful to God that He gave me a chance again. But as a

result, I have made a study of the dark side of my dark side. And I realize if you're a leader in  a Christian organization, or not a Christian organization, you have to be aware of your dark  side. And so this session and next session, I want to talk about, where the world is this come  from, and how in the world do you battle it? What do you do with the dark side? How do you  overcome it? How do you? How do you transcend it? And so these are things that I think are  very important for you to know. And things that have become very important to me. So the  first thing to talk about is where's come from? How did that dark side get there? Well, there is  a theological reason for that dark side, at least in my system of theology. You know, I, I am  part of a denomination, which is Calvinistic, and his background. In other words, the canons of Dordt are important to me. And the first part of the canons of Dort. Those are rules or  observations, theological observations made back way, way back in the 1500s, that one of  the things that was very important to people was recognizing what's called total depravity.  Now, that doesn't mean that we're as bad as we possibly could get, but that we all have  within us a bent toward evil, a bent toward selfishness, rather than service a bent toward the  force on the wrong side. And that's a scary thing. Paul talks about it in Romans chapter seven. And it's probably a passage you should look at and study very well, where he says, you know,  he's considering himself, he says, I don't do what I want. Paul says, this is Paul, the apostle, so I don't want to do what I want to good that I want to do. I don't do the evil I don't want to do  that's right there beside me. And then he cries out who wretched man that I am, who will  deliver me from this body of death. And then he starts chapter eight, verse one, therefore  there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. But even Paul recognized, I  know there are questions about you know, whether Paul was reflecting on a situation prior to  his conversion, or that he struggled that way. I personally believe that that was a struggle he  faced all along, because it's one that every person who's been honest with me and I with  them, has acknowledged that there are areas like this of struggle, where it's a dark side so  one of the areas has come from so how did it get there in us is, it's born in us, because Adam  and Eve the first parents that we had a chose not to obey God in regard to eating of the Tree  of the Knowledge of Good and Evil they came to know evil And as a result, there was a  benching that began to affect the human race. And so in chapter three we read about that fall into sin in Genesis. And then chapter four, we start reading the result of the results, where  Cain kills Abel. And then on and on and on throughout Scripture, you just find humankind's  inability to do the right thing consistently. And it's still there. Today, all sorts of evidence in  history of how we're able to increase our technology, we're able to increase our capacity to do things. And that's also increased our ability to kill each other in wars or ability to gas each  other with chemical weapons, or the ability to cut people down to, to bully people. In my  community, this has become an issue where suicide of teenagers has become commonplace  almost and and consistent with it is that they're bullied or criticize their fellow classmates or  texting them, just derogatory statements. So part of it is it's in us, it's there. Now, how do  they get there? This is a chart that reflects a man named Maslow, many years ago, he said,  there's a pyramid of human needs. Now the theory behind this, which has been tested. And I  think it's pretty good. As far as its dependability is that you have to have your needs met at  one level before you can have your needs met at the other level before you're ready to  develop your personhood at the other level. So you see at the bottom of this pyramid is the  physiological needs. In other words, that's the need to have food, to have clothing, to have  water to drink, to have a place to sleep, that that you're healthy, that those basic  physiological needs have to be met in some way in your life, before you can experience a  sense of safety and security. And then you're at that next level. So there's that first level when you're a child. And then there's the security of body security, of employment of resources, of  morality of the family of health of property, that you can go on then, and have those needs  met. And so the way that we are designed is people that we are become part of a family. And  we, we find meaning there and we find our needs met, and we find that we are part of  something that's bigger than we are and that we are loved. And we are a part of a group of  people who want good for us, that's all part of that second level of safety. And if that part is  functioning, well, we can move on. If it's not, there's going to be a brokenness in us that  makes us vulnerable. I have two grandchildren, out of the 11 grandchildren who have been 

adopted from Ethiopia, and my son and his wife have adopted two out of their five children.  And both those children are delightful children, but they grew up in an orphanage. And their  basic physiological needs were met there. They they had food they had caring, they had a  place to sleep, they were taken care of. But it's that next level where they say an orphan will  have a, a failure to attach or an attachment disorder. That early on in our development as  human beings, we need to attach to somebody meaningfully. And if we don't, that's going to  leave a gap or a hole in us. And so my, my son and his wife are dealing with that with one of  the one who's getting a little bit older now that he needs a greater sense of security in his life. And so they're trying to find ways to provide that for him, because they provided it  marvelously. But because it's a tough thing for him, it's something he's going to have to fight  against in his life. Once that's done, you can go on to that friendship, family, a sexual  intimacy, for those of you who are engaged in a family marriage, but the thing you can  understand love, you got to have safety before he can understand that I am loved. And once  your experience being loved, that somebody cares about you unconditionally, then you can  move on to the next need, which is for self esteem, for confidence for achievement in your  life, that you get the respect of others and you're you're respected by others, and you are  therefore able to respect others. And when that has accomplished then you can get into the  top part which is self actualization. In other words, there is the level where morality comes out and creativity and spontaneity and problem solving, lack of prejudice, you'd have to look  down at other people acceptance of facts and, and etc. Now, the theory behind this again, is  that if you're missing at any level, something at any level, there's a hole in your personhood  there's a hole in who you are, and that makes you vulnerable, vulnerable to the attack of the  enemy. And so you've got to be aware of this. What does it look like in the lives of people lives and people like you? Well, it looks like this insecurity, somebody who's just scared of  offending people are scared of taking the next step. No friend who was criticized constantly  by his mother in this case, and as a result, he just has no confidence to do anything. So we  have worked together on some home improvement projects, and, and he's always scared to  take a step, because he might not do it perfectly. He's got this basic insecurity. And turns out,  it all traces back to his family of origin. When we were talking about that, and who you are, as a leader, you know, I skipped over that a little bit. But there's, there's a reality of your family  of origin and its power on you that some of that parts of missing are missing of giving you self esteem, you're gonna have insecurity, perfectionism. In other words, you can't do anything  that isn't perfect, because somehow that would reflect negatively on you. And there would be  a failure in you. And I know this from dealing with some of my own stuff that then there's  always that fear that something's going to turn out to be criticized. And it won't be perfect.  Loneliness, if you've got a gap in your life, in one of those areas of development, you're going  to be at the top of a pole if you're going to be by yourself. And it's fascinating in surveys of  pastors say that many of us are just lonely, because we don't trust ourselves to other people,  we, we've been burned at some point where we tried to fulfill a need at one of those levels.  And, and we didn't get that need fulfilled. And, and so now we don't dare share ourselves with anybody. And so we're just lonely. people pleasing. I know for myself, I had a father who was  verbally abusive, who was sometimes physically abusive, who just never approved of me  when I talk about brothers, I've got six brothers and had a sister who passed away recently.  But one of the things that we talk about Dad is so we've all learned to forgive him because of  some limitations and pain, physical pain that he's dealt with all the time. We've recognized  that we what was behind that, but but some of the things he did, like he would give a job for  us to do, and, and he wouldn't tell us how to do it. So I remember as a 10 year old given a job  of of cementing upper register in our breezeway at home, I wasn't told how to do it. So I'm  mixing cement don't really know how to do that trying to pile it up. It wasn't working, nothing  was working. And then we did get criticized if we didn't do it, right. So as a result, I developed  this need to have approval of people. They didn't get it, there was something that was lacking in me. And so I've had to find appropriate ways to get that approval, victimization. In other  words, people who have something missing missing in their personality development, often  are people who always have to find somebody else to blame, you know, they, they can't take  the blame themselves for something. So they'll be looking for somebody else. No, it's his 

fault, or it's her fault. Or if something else goes wrong, they won't take responsibility, but  they've got to shift the blame somewhere else, and create victims. And these are the kinds of  people who will develop prejudices and will lead others in fulfilling their prejudices. This is how you get people in the United States who are part of hangings of black Americans, many years  ago, you can hate somebody else, because you're looking for victims all the time,  disempowerment. In other words, they don't trust power in the hands of others. And so  they've got to keep it all themselves a manipulation. Instead of trying to lead people, you're  manipulating people to get what you want, and you really don't care about them. I've driven  to prove we've talked about that a little bit, lack of trust of people. Arrogance, interestingly, is  often one of the things that this produces in you an arrogance that says how important you  are as opposed to the people around you and, and often talking down together to other  people, lack of authenticity. Wow, is this a characteristic of so many churches and  organizations today? You know, in the United States, we've got a generation that's leaving by  droves. And one of the things they say we are lacking is this whole idea of authenticity. What  does that generation looking for? They're looking for someone who will say, This is real, and  I'm real person. I'm not pretending with you. I'm a real person. And this is the things I struggle with and this is how I'm seeking God at this point. And self denial. Often people will punish  themselves. When they are missing one of these areas, though, they don't take responsibility  themselves and I will punish themselves or they just won't admit it to themselves. They will  deny that they have any sort of problem whatsoever. So I can say this is not a fun session. But I hope it's helpful. I hope that it's something that will allow you to take a look at yourself. Next session, we're going to move on to this idea of what do you do about it? You've got this in you, it's part of you. There's not one of us that has escaped this. It's part of you because you're  part of a fallen human race. And you have this bent toward evil. What do you do about it?  Next session, I want to talk about what you can do to find victory so that dark side doesn't  win. But the love you have for God and the love you have for his people, that's what will shine through