Video Transcript: Lesson 7 Section 2

Have you ever tried to look at the world around you from another person's perspective? What  was the experience like the view from the other person's shoes can be very different from our  own. For most of us, this is not a skill we practice often, we are often limited in our  understanding of life based on our individual experiences. compassionate listening is the skill  of listening in order to gain an understanding of an issue from another person's perspective.  When a student comes to us to discuss a problem, we can make matters worse by trying to  counsel them from our narrow perspective. Instead, we must first seek to understand the  issue from their point of view. This is not an easy task, but it is worth our time and energy.  develop the skill of compassionate listening in order to provide your students good counsel.  Listening enables you to understand the other person's story, feelings and needs. First, let's  look at some unhelpful ways to respond. And knowing what not to do will enable you to  recognize when you might be tempted to react in these ways. When someone comes to you  seeking help, you might want to respond by evaluating. This means we are measuring the  situation to see if we agree or disagree. Another thing we might want to do is probe, you  might find yourself asking questions to get more information. But this is probably not what  the student needs. Another response is to interpret this is where you try to explain what  happened or the motivation behind it. But you may not have all the information you need to  provide an accurate interpretation. Finally, we may jump straight into advising. Since the  person has come to you for help, you may want to immediately start giving counsel based on  your own experience. But again, remember that you may not understand the situation fully  from the other person's perspective. Think about a time when you went to someone with a  problem, and they responded in one of these ways. How did that make you feel? Was it  helpful and what you needed at the time? Or did it just make things worse? When we practice  compassionate listening, our goal is to accurately understand the issue the other person  faces. Here are three helpful ways to respond. The first step is to mimic the content. repeat  back what the student has said to show you heard their words clearly. Give them a chance to  correct anything that might not match what they really wanted to say. It is essential to begin  with a student's intended message if we are to truly understand the situation. The second  step is to paraphrase the content. This shows that you understand the issue from the  student's point of view. In this step, we begin to put ourselves in the teenager's situation by  using our own words to describe their problem. This is a time to pause and ensure we have  captured the teen's intended meaning. The third and final step is to reflect the feelings of the  content. It is now that you will describe the feelings you have heard to confirm you  understand the issue and its full impact on the student. Their words may carry many  emotions, and we want to make sure we have identified the most important ones correctly. If  you try to do these three things, you will be well on your way to seeing things from the other  person's viewpoint. There are a few more tips you can put into practice to ensure you're being a compassionate listener. Learn to listen for the silence, as it could be a clue that there is  something being left unsaid. What someone chooses to leave out of the story can be just as  important as the things they tell you. There may be something deeper that will take time and  trust before they share it with you. Don't assume you know what it is right away. And don't  press them further than they're willing to go. Just be aware that silence could be a clue that  there is more to the story and be watching for it to come out in future conversations.  Secondly, listen with your eyes to observe how the student's story is affecting them. What is  their body language saying? Are they slouching, fidgeting? Avoiding eye contact what the  student looks like while they tell you the story is a huge clue about the crisis they are  experiencing. There may be a conflicting message between what they say and their body  reactions that show a deeper problem needs to be addressed. Don't make them feel  uncomfortable by pointing this out. But note it for yourself and think about possible  meanings. Lastly, when practicing compassionate listening, we must learn to listen with our  hearts. Pay attention to our own reactions and the Holy Spirit's promptings as you provide  care and comfort to teenagers in emotional distress. It's important that you feel alongside  them. But be careful not to take on too much burden from their emotions. You need to feel  compassion, but not to be paralyzed by pain and unable to help. compassionate listening will  be key to helping your students cope with life's difficult issues. It's okay if you don't do it 

perfectly at first, but try to at least incorporate a few of these ideas the next time you're in a  conversation where you need to understand the other person's perspective. With practice,  you will be able to avoid unhelpful responses and instead, listen with all your senses.