Video Transcript: The Friendship Factor

Preaching through the book of Ecclesiastes. And today we focus on the friendship factor,  which is the major focus of this particular chapter. When you think about the friendship factor, one of the first things for me, at least that comes to mind and for the author of Ecclesiastes is  the lack of friendship and loneliness that many people endure. If kids are going off to school  for the first time, they may have a variety of things on their mind. Will I like my teacher. Well,  I enjoy sports, there are things on the playground, how will my classes go, but one of the first  things that comes to mind is, Will I have any friends, if your dad or mom takes a new position, and you have to move somewhere, and you're in a new neighborhood, or a totally new area,  one of the biggest concerns as kids and one of the biggest heartbreaks about moving is that  you lose some friends, or at least leave them behind have a great distance between you and  am I going to be able to make any new friends like that? One of the tough things about life for some grown ups is feeling all alone. And you can feel alone in a crowd, you may go to work  every day, be surrounded by people and feel like nobody understands you. And the only  people who pay attention to you are the ones who are picking on you or berating you. You can be a mom at home and feel quite lonely because you're surrounded by several little kids who  aren't quite yet ready to be your friends. They're your kids. And you long to have some  friends, your own age. And friendship is one of the great yearnings companionship is one of  the great yearnings of the human heart. When you experience bullying, or a crowd against  you, that is a terrible feeling to be one of those kids that everybody picks on that nobody  really likes, that a lot of people think are kind of weird, and you try to get into one group and  they don't seem to go for you. And you try to get in with another group. And that little clique  doesn't want you either. And so here you are kind of all alone. And nobody's interested.  except occasionally if there are bullies or nasty people around, they're interested in you just  long enough to pick on you and be mean to you, and make you feel like nobody and nothing.  And that's not just true. In the world of kids or teenagers. In the world of grown ups in the in  the work world. It's hard to feel like you're alone. If you're in neighborhoods, there's a lot of  people in very crowded areas who feel alone. I remember living as a kid on a college campus  with 4000 other people feeling pretty lonely sometimes because I was 1600 miles away from  home. And I really hadn't made any good close friendships for a while there later on. I did but  it was pretty lonely at first and being alone is hard. And it's even harder when the people in  power, whatever that might be, are being cruel to you. Germany was a place where people  were oppressed and one group after another the government came after them. Martin  Niemoller, who was a pastor kind of expressed it well, when he said in Germany, the Nazis  came first for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews. And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came to the  Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. And they came for me. At that  time, no one was left to speak up. And if you want to understand that dynamic of oppression,  and of being lonely in the face of oppression, it's not said much better than it is. In  Ecclesiastes, at the beginning of chapter four. Again, I looked and saw all the oppression that  was taking place under the sun. I saw the tears of the oppressed, and they have no comforter. Power was on the side of their oppressors, and they have no comforter. And I declared that  the dead who had already died are happier than the living who are still alive. But better than  both is he has not yet been, who has not yet seen the evil that is done under the sun. When  you're dreadfully alone, sometimes you figure I would be better off dead. I wish I had never  been born. And you might say to yourself, Well, I really can't go there. I can't even think that  kind of thought and it is a very scary thought to think that you would be better off not even  being alive anymore. But it's not a new thought. And it's not a thought that nobody  understands. It's a thought that is expressed here in the Bible, and is expressed really quite  often in the Bible of people who say faced oppression and felt like nobody was with them.  Elijah was a great prophet of God. But he reached a point in his life where he said, I have had  enough. Take my life, I've been very zealous Lord, they are killing all your prophets, I am the  only one left. And now they're trying to kill me too. So he would just rather not be the only  prophet left and be hunted, he would rather just die and be put out of his misery. The prophet  Jeremiah felt a lot the same way Alas, my mother that you gave me birth, a man whom the 

whole land, strives and contends. Everyone curses me, he feels like everybody's against him.  Curse me the day I was born and the day my mother bore me not be blessed. Why did I ever  come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow, and to end my days in shame? Now, verses  like this in the Bible, are kind of negative. And we'd rather just ignore them. If we want church 

to be a time when everybody gets together all smiling, says, Isn't it nice and happy to be  joyful all the day? Well, yeah, it's kind of nice. If if all you need is kind of an emotional list  once in a while, then to show up, and everybody have a happy clappy time together and go  home. That works fine. But in real life, it's not that way. In real life, sometimes you're lonely.  Sometimes people are against you. And it is a great comfort to know that God's people have  been there before. There have been people who thought life was not worth living. And yet, for some reason, they just kept on living anyway. Or think of Job, he cursed the day of his birth.  He says, Why didn't I perish at birth and die as I came from the womb? Why was it not hidden  in the ground like a stillborn child like an infant who never saw the light of day? Why is life  given to those in misery and life to the bitter of soul to those who longed for death, that does  not come. He's lost his children, his friends are accusing him, his wife has said Curse God and  die. So he's really got nobody to support him in his faith. Nobody who admires him anymore.  They just figure anybody who goes through all that must have bought it big time somewhere,  you know, if God seems far away, guess who moved must have been you. And so he's getting blamed by everybody and kind of ditched by everybody in his life. And he just thinks, I wish I  were dead. And so you have Elijah Jeremiah Job, men of great faith, who, at some point in  their life, all wish they were dead, and had never been born in the first place. And Ecclesiastes looks at the situation of people who have come under attack, and who have been lonely. And  he says, I said that you'd be better off not being alive, in fact, not being born at all. And for  some of you, if you don't know where that kind of voice is coming from, and if you've never  gone anywhere, that dark in your own being well, just be glad and be thankful, and hope and  pray that it doesn't happen. But some of you have been there. Some of you may be are there, right now. You feel like nobody understands you, you may feel like people are out to get you.  Or there have been shifts in your life. Sometimes a widow or widower loses that person close  to them. And there's just a dreadful loneliness. And it's kind of compounded by the fact that  people are uncomfortable being around somebody who's not part of a couple anymore.  There's just a whole variety of ways, where life just, it seemed good. And then it seems to get  awfully awfully dark and very lonely. And when it does one of the temptations in our world is  not only to think you'd be better off dead, but to say I think I will just end it all. A lot of us just  have an innate yearning for life. And we don't have those self destructive thoughts. But there  are some who do. And there were people in the Bible who did too. But they knew that that  was not the answer. They knew that whatever else the case was, they could not simply end  their own life because it was not theirs to end. And so they kept on going. And you will find  that as they kept on going, the author of Ecclesiastes began to see some brighter things.  Elijah came to a day well, that same day, God told them, you're not quite as alone as you  think. There are 7000 Still, who have not worshipped the Baal and worship only me. Jeremiah  was comforted by the Lord job was brought into a different season, where God again restored  his relationships and, and restored his life. And so it's very important to understand that you  are understood in your times of great darkness and loneliness and wondering why you're  even alive anymore. God understands. And there have been some great people of God, who  have been there and it is something that you need to simply absorb and, and grieve over at  the same time not completely give up on somebody has said that suicide is a permanent  solution to a temporary problem. So life sometimes feels not worth living. And it feels like  nobody cares about you. But you have to allow for the possibility that even when it feels like  nobody cares about you, there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. There is a friend  who knew what it was like and cried out, why have You forsaken Me there is a man of sorrows  familiar with grief, oppressed and afflicted and rejected, who is a friend to all the oppressed  and afflicted and rejected and lonely. And he is the one that will carry us back out either one  of those terrible times of loneliness, and being oppressed and picked on. Well, loneliness can  come from being at the bottom of the totem pole, but the kind of the odd kid out or the odd  grown up out, or the one who's considered weird, or just the one who doesn't have much 

money, or the one who doesn't wear nice clothes, or the one who just isn't all that impressive, and not all that popular. And so that's one reason why some people can feel very, very alone.  But there's a different and opposite reason for loneliness and Ecclesiastes being as shrewd  and as realistic as that book is, looks not just the oppressed and their loneliness, but at a  different brand of loneliness. It's lonely at the bottom, but it's also pretty lonely at the top.  And I saw that all labor and all achievements sprang from man's envy of his neighbor. This  too, is meaningless a chasing after the wind, it is a lonely thing to have to always be on top.  When you're at work, you are competing with your fellow employees for a promotion, you are  hoping perhaps that you can replace one of the people above you, if you're running a  company, you're dealing with your competitors, and you're hoping you can get bigger market  share than they do. And there are many opportunities when you're racing to the top to say I'm trying to climb all the rungs on the ladder. And it's a busy thing goes be stomping on the  fingers of those below me on the ladder who are trying to climb above me. And so you have  people at work who are competing with each other. You have people just living in  neighborhoods, you say, Man, I wish I had that car. Wow, that is a nice house they've got and  so you, you just drive yourself to try to top what some people around you have you were  happy till you saw what they had. And then all of a sudden you can't be happy anymore. Now  what does that do for relationships? When all the time you're seeking things, and using  people, and just trying to use people as another stepping stone to get somewhere to the  position that you want to be? Well, some of you know the old Tim McGraw song country and  western song Joe got a promotion. He's up there on top. Everybody was cheering him on. He  deserves everything he's got. Guess who's the new talk of the town, the one everybody loves  cutting down, they all smile right to his face and hide the jealousy. Me I'm just working hard to get that place where everybody hates me. Well, everybody wants to be the big dog want to  wag that big dog tail. But till they are they want to see the big dog fail. You pay your dues and you get your breaks, then you're the one everybody loves to hate. They all smile right to your  face and hide the jealousy. That's just the way it goes. And I can't wait to everybody hates  me. Well, that's a little too true to life, isn't it where we're in this competition, and we want  that position. And we know that people in that position are people we can't stand partly  because they have that position. I remember reading and CS Lewis, he wrote about a person  who contacted him. He didn't identify who it was, of course, but he said somebody had  contacted him. And it was a lengthy letter complaining about the stupidity and the misuse of  power and the mistreatments that were dealt out and how all these blockheads in a position  of leadership in the educational administration, and everybody who gets into that and gets  corrupted, and they do all that in the very end of the letter is, could you put on a word to see  if I could get promoted to that position? So he, he just liked to be one of those who stomping  on people instead of one of those getting stomped on. That's basically how how it comes out.  And a man's desires and his envy drive him according to Ecclesiastes, and that leads to some  pretty lonely people. Well, he goes on to say, well, there's a couple of options we could say  here, you know, if people get kind of lonely because they're always trying to be the top dog.  And they're always trying to top other people. And they're too ambitious. Maybe the solution  is to say, well, okay away with ambition, I'm just going to kind of fold my hands and relax, and do nothing very ambitious. Well, he says, that's not really the smartest thing to do the fool,  folds his hands and ruins himself. He just kind of packs it in and gives up he says, whatever  the solution to these problems of loneliness are just given up and venting out is not the  answer. Don't be lazy, and expect the handout. But don't be crazy. And chase a second  handful either. It's stupid to be lazy. But it's also stupid to be crazy said better as one handful,  with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. There's a proverb that  says something kind of similar. It says, better our vegetables in a house of love than the  fattened calf, where there is hatred. You know, you'd rather have hot dogs and T bone steak,  yes, you're in and dining with a bunch of people who are always fighting with each other. And  so he's saying, there's, there's such a thing as having one handful. And a handful is pretty  good. And it's all really that you need. Learn to enjoy that one. Because if you decide to go  after that second handful that you don't have, you're going to have a lot of turmoil in your life, there's going to be a lot of wreckage, you're going to damage a lot of relationships, so that 

the lazy veg who decides to go the hippie way of life that can be pretty lonely, that hard  driving type who's headed for the top and always in his business suit can get pretty lonely as  well find something that's not one of those two extremes. Then he goes on again. But before  we do that, I just want to make an observation. Again, we you can be kind of lonely in a  college dorm, surrounded, surrounded by 1000s of people, you can be lonely in a big city  surrounded by tons of people, you can be lonely in a church with hundreds of people around  you. You can be lonely in your own house. I'm Casting Crowns as a song. Now they're trapped  in their own worlds in their own wars with their cell phones and the closed doors. It's funny  how quiet and peaceful it seems that they're all alone together in the house of their dreams.  You have that beautiful house built it looks good people might even envy you. But you're  hardly talking to each other parents and kids aren't getting along. Husband and wife are in  conflict. And so the lawn looks good. The house is nice. But there's a deep and profound  loneliness for everybody involved. Again, I saw something meaningless under the sun. There  was a man all alone, he had neither son or brother. There was no end to His toil. Yet his eyes  were not content with his wealth. For whom am I toiling? He asked, and why am I depriving  myself of enjoyment? This too is meaningless, a miserable business. You have a man who's  willing to stomp on people underneath him to get up to the top and his work life. And if it  means neglecting his kids, well, a guy's got to do what a guy's got to do. So he puts in all  those extra hours anyway. And sure his wife doesn't like and she gets kind of whiny about it.  But hey, she better learn to deal with it because he's got to make it and he's got to get to the  top. And after a while, maybe it even works. He trades in the old way for a newer, younger  lovelier one. And he trades in this relationship and that one as he uses various people on his  way, and then he gets to the top one day. And he says, You know what? Now I got everything I wanted, got all that cash got all that stuff. Nobody likes me. Nobody cares. What happens to  me here I am all alone. I've got these gobs of money. What in the world am I doing? And that,  of course, is a bit of the wine maybe of Solomon himself and Ecclesiastes, what are the  amazing achievements he had? And at the end of the day, when you've done all that when  you're the billionaire playboy who runs the kingdom, does anybody actually care about you?  Or just that you're the guy with the cash and you're the guy with the power and you're the  guy they need? But do they really like you a lot of you maybe who are a little older know, the  Harry Chapin song cat's in the cradle child arrived just the other day he came to the world in  the usual way. But there were planes to catch and bills to pay. He learned to walk while I was  away. And he was talking for I knew it and as he grew, he said I'm going to be like you dad.  You know, I'm going to be like you. My son turned 10 Just the other day. He said thanks for the ball. Dad. Come on, let's play. Can you teach me to throw I said not today. I got a lot to do. He  said, That's okay. And he walked away. But his smile never dimmed. He said, I'm going to be  like him. Yeah, you know, I'm gonna be like him. And the cat's in the cradle and the silver  spoon, Little boy blue and the man in the moon when you come home, dad, I don't know  when but we'll get together then. You know, we'll have a good time then. Well, he came home from college just the other day, so much like a man, I just had to say, Son, I'm proud of you.  Can you sit for a while? He shook his head. And he said, with a smile. What I really liked Dad  is to borrow the car keys. See you later. Can I have them, please. I've long since retired and  my son's moved away. I called him up just the other day and said, I'd like to see you if you  don't mind. He said, I'd love to dad, if I could find the time you see my new jobs, a hassle and  the kids got the flu. But it's sure nice talking to you, dad been nice talking to you. And as I  hung up the phone, it occurred to me he'd grown up, just like me, my boy was just like me.  And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon, Little boy blue and the man in the moon.  When you're coming home, son, I don't know when but we'll get together then dad, you know, we'll have a good time, then. We make our way through life, betraying the relationships that  matter to us the most. And we end up very, very lonely people. It is not just what the  oppressors do to us. Well, that can be a problem is sometimes also what we do to ourselves  and those nearest to us as we keep destroying the bridges of relationship and finding things  that matter to us more. Well enough about that. We need to realize some of the causes of our  profound loneliness, but also realize that we were not wired to live alone, we were never  meant to be alone. God said at the very beginning, it's not good that a man should be alone. 

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls as no one to help them up, also have to lie  down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone, though one may be  overpowered, two can defend themselves, the cord of three strands is not easily broken. Now, this is a passage that is use fairly often at weddings and appropriately. So because that is  such an important friendship and companionship relationship. But it's not restricted to that  this is just about companionship and friendship period of the various shapes that it might  take. And I want to highlight four things about the friendship factor. One is that rewards are  better if you enjoy them together. Second, when you have a companion you have help up  after the fall third, gives you a warm sun, a pretty cold world. And fourth defense against  attack. Those are the four things that are highlighted in this passage. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their work. When you have a partner or partners in  business, you can accomplish more than you can just by yourself. When you're part of an  enterprise that does things together, the reward and the payoff is often greater. And when  you're not even working on things, but when you're just enjoying life, is it more fun to just  enjoy it alone? Or together? Is it more fun to watch a really good ball game by yourself  jumping up and down. And you get I don't know, maybe some of you do that. But I think  you're kind of weird. If you get too crazy when you're by yourself watching the game. Now  when you got a few of you to gather, then you can get kind of excited. Or if you're watching a  favorite film. I know some people were weird enough to read books out loud to each other  because they're avid readers. And you know, reading is kind of an alone experience. That's  one of its charms. But also, it's great if you got a friend who likes the same book, because  then it's just twice as good. You have a better reward when you're working on things together  a better reward when you're enjoying things together. And that's, that's one of the bittersweet things even when you've lost someone whom you love, is you say, Man, I wish they were here now to enjoy this together with me. But it's it's the enjoyment of life together. That makes  friendship so precious. Another one is very practical. If one falls down, his friend can help him  up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. You know, that's literally true if  you if you fall into a pit or a hole, or a gorge or a chasm, how are you going to get out unless  somebody is there to help you get out of that hole? And so just in a physical sense, if you go  down, it's mighty handy to have somebody who's in a position to get you back out of the hole  get you back up to the ground off the ground. This is true in so many things in life besides just falling on the ground and a hole we all have times when we fall down, sometimes it's the  falling into things we shouldn't have done or in the sin. Sometimes it's just falling and being  crushed under the burdens of life. And to have somebody there when you're at your lowest  point, who doesn't ditch you, but instead latches on to you, and helps you back to your feet.  Again, you're going through hard times in life, maybe you go through terrible financial times.  And you've got friends there who help you through those financial hard times, you go through  times of grief. And they don't just leave you all alone, but they love you. They don't know  quite what to say they don't know quite what to do. Maybe they say the wrong thing  sometimes. But they are still there to help you when you fallen. And they help you back up  again. And in so many different places in life, when we fall, just have somebody who cares  enough about you to give you a hand and lift you back up again. And a third one, which is  very appropriate on day like today, in a cold cold world. There's warmth, in companionship.  very literally, if you get caught outside on a nasty, cold day like this. And you are all alone,  you're in much greater danger. But if there's somebody there with you, at a huddle under the  blanket together with you and keep each other warm, your chances of survival are much  greater. And that's been the case very literally, with various people in different parts of the  world throughout history that shared body heat helps somebody to survive a very, very cold  day. Now, that's true in terms of the weather, but it's also a picture of what the world is like,  the world can be mighty chilly. And you're not going to change the temperature of the world  in the next five minutes. Hey, you can't cause global warming, if you want to. Sorry about that you can't do it. It's going to be what it is. And if it's cold there, you can't make the  temperature go up. But if you've got somebody there in your world, to keep you warm, if  you've got friends, companions, family, and you can be together, suddenly that little world 

out there doesn't seem quite so chilly. Because it's pretty warm, where you are, no matter  what temperature it might be in the world. That's one of the blessings of the friendship factor  that in a cold world, you've got people to help you survive, stay warm, enjoy life together. And then a fourth reason that is given in Ecclesiastes four is defense against attack. Again, this is  not a sentimental book all the time. Sometimes the world is cold, and you just need buddies.  Sometimes you come under attack, and you're better off being with somebody than all alone,  though one may be overpowered. Two can defend themselves. The cord of three strands is  not easily broken. Would you rather be walking through a nasty neighborhood alone? Or with  some friends? Are you safer? Let's say you're a woman, and you're walking down the street,  do you feel safer when you're all alone in a tough place, or if there is somebody with you  there their safety in numbers. And so this sense of of having colleagues to stand shoulder to  shoulder and face the challenges and attacks that come our way is very valuable. Satan is  going to come after you. There are going to be other circumstances where other people come  after you. And if you have friends, if you have companions, then you're stronger in facing it,  you're not quite as likely to get attacked in the first place that people know they can't pick  you off. One at a time. You know how the wolf packs work? Those wolf packs are always  looking for that one animal that's a little bit weaker, not only but also that gets left behind or  get separated from the herd. That's the one the wolves go after. As long as the herd stays  together. No one individual is in nearly as great a danger because the wolves are not so likely  to attack. And we need to understand that. You know, that's not one of these things that on  Valentine's Days, oh, I just feel so warm and fuzzy that I've got a couple extra people around  so I don't get attacked. But that's a part of friendship, to just have strength together to be  able to fight together and stand strong together. Well, friendship is very important and there's no substitute for it. After talking about the value of friendship and the tremendous importance of the friendship factor. Ecclesiastes goes on to talk about political popularity and it is no  substitute for having true friends. Better a poor but wise youth, then an old but foolish king  who no longer knows how to take warning. The use may have come from prison to the  kingship, or he may have been born in poverty within his kin. them, I saw that all lived and  walked onto the sun followed the youth, the king successor, you've got this king, and maybe  he was a great king once upon a time. But when you get to the top, you maybe had to stop a  lot of people to get there. Or maybe you just stopped listening to your friend, and he became  too important. Now you're too important to listen to other people. And an old king, whose ears get stuffed and won't listen to people is not a good king anymore, and is not appreciated very much. And somebody who has a much lowlier position, and he's just willing to listen once in a  while, is going to gain a following. There was no end to all the people who were before them.  But note to young kings, those who came later, were not pleased with the successor. This too, is meaningless a chasing after the wind. If you think that position, or popularity are a  substitute for friendship, think again. The one who came later was thought to be fabulous,  and then maybe not so fabulous. We were in the midst of an eruption of hope and change. A  few years ago, everybody? Well, not quite. But a lot of people were very, very, very excited  about a new young president who was going to replace kind of a worn tired regime with  something new and bring us hope and happiness. And then six years after that person  becomes the president and election wipes out the power of his party across the board. In both houses of Congress and throughout many state legislatures. Many governorships never has  the President's own party sunk so low since what 1928. Hey, six years ago, he was on top of  the world and it was hoping change everywhere. But that's how these things go. In the  political world. There's an old saying, if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. Because  in politics, if you think that being the big shot is what makes the world go round, that can be a pretty lonely feeling. One of the best kinds of rulers actually somebody who never gets to be  so important that he can't listen to people, and that he always has people around him who  are good enough friends to tell him when he's all wet. That's not just true politicians. It's true  people in many positions. If you're in a company, and you lose the ability to listen to those  who are supposedly lower than you, you're going to do a much poorer job than if you're able  to retain some friends, and keep on listening. I think one of the major keys to Billy Graham's  ministry, over the years, the fact that he was able to continue to minister and preach the 

gospel to millions without having these horrible flameouts that has that have characterized  some preachers of such fame is that he had a few friends. He had the Wilson brothers and a  couple of other guys that had kind of grown up with and will everybody else will say, ooh, ah,  the greatest evangelists of the 20th century. Billy we knew and we've grown up, and they  organized his crusades, they are the ones who never let him get too big for his britches. They  were the ones who helped him manage his schedule and and who he saw and didn't see just  and help protect him from the temptations of women in hotel rooms and all the other things  that would come the way of someone's so important and so high profile. He always had these  buddies, and they remained Cliff Barrows, other guys, they were his buddies his whole life.  And they would tell him when they thought he was full of it. You know, you need people like  that. Who are they're your friends, they're not impressed by you. They've known you a little  too long. They know what's wrong with you, as well as what's right with you. I mean, it's those guys love them more than probably anybody else in the world and his family, but they help  keep him on track. So when it comes to position and popularity, and a lot of people being  impressed by you, if you ever do get to a situation like that, well, good for you, but it will  probably pass. You know, for most of the time. People will like you for a while, then they won't. Don't get too high when they like you don't think too low and they don't pay attention to your  real friends and keep on listening to their counsel and to their wisdom. The friendship factor is so important nothing and substitute is certainly not position popularity. Now, what is it that's  so important about the friendship factor? When we when we read Ecclesiastes, and when we  just look at life, it is very important to observe things as they are to be realistic about it to  realize that loneliness is terrible and a lot of people go through it, that driving to the top can  cost you big time. But think a little harder. Why is that? Because we were meant for love. We  were meant for relationship. The source of the universe is the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and  Holy Spirit in everlasting relationship in everlasting love for one another, and everything else  flows out of that love of the persons of the Trinity for one another. And in our salvation, our  Lord Jesus Christ has specifically made us his friends, Jesus says, My command is this love  each other, as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he laid down his life  for his friends, you are my friends, if you do what I command, I no longer call you servants.  Instead, I have called you friends. Those are some of the most amazing words ever to come  from the lips of the Son of God. Because this one who made the whole universe and who is so  great, and so majestic, says to these Bozo fishermen and tax man and all that, hey, you're not my servants. You're my buddy. And I have let you in on the secrets of the universe. And you  are my partners in all of this. We were meant for that kind of relationship and God's whole  purpose and saving us is to include us in that kind of love. That's why the two greatest  commandments are love God, and love your neighbor. And we are meant to live in that kind  of love forever and to be separated from God is the most terrible kind of loneliness, and to be  separated from other people is the second worst kind of loneliness. There was a man who  made one of the most heretical statements ever made, John Paul Sartre, the existentialist  philosopher said, Hell is other people know hell is being without other people. Hell is the outer darkness, where you're separated from God, where you're separated from all relationships.  Remember the story Jesus told about the rich man, and a poor guy named Lazarus, who was  one of those oppressed, who was picked on and neglected and ignored and just left in the  gutter for dogs to lick his sores, and then he died. Well, that terrible picture from Ecclesiastes  of the rich going to the top and of the poor, being oppressed, Jesus has a little more to say  about that. He said, There was a great chasm between the rich man and Lazarus, in this life.  And in the next life, there's still a great canyon, a great chasm between them only now, the  rich dude is on the wrong side of the canyon. And nobody can get to him anymore. Nobody  can help him. Nobody can cool his tongue in the hell of fire, because he's alone. He lived  alone as the top dog through this life. And now he gets what he chose. He gets to be alone,  forever. Hell is the loss, the complete loss of love. And we were meant for something better.  And so it is the good news of the gospel that Jesus says, I don't call you servants, I call you  friends. And as I have loved you, I've taught you to love one another. And may God give us  the grace to live in that love. If you are one of those who wondered whether life is worth  living, focus, first of all, just on the love that God has for you. When you think about the 

oppressed, nobody was more oppressed and afflicted than the Lord Jesus Christ. Nobody died  more alone or faced more terrible death. But he did all of that to make us his friends, so that  we would never be friendless, so that we would never be alone and oppressed. And even to  those who are oppressed. What does Jesus say? Don't feel so down about it anymore. Rejoice  and be glad. Blessed are you who are persecuted because of righteousness? because great is  your reward in heaven. And in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before  you. You may think you're all alone, because the wicked are against you. Who's, who do you  want as your friends? Do you want the prophets and the heroes? Do you want to be part of  that company? There's a friendship factor for you. You're part of that great cloud of witnesses, headed by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, you want to be part of that clique? Or do you want to be part of the clique that just bullies in butchers? So Jesus calls us to be His friends and then  to realize that when we are as friends, we have the friendship that we need and he provides  us with a community. That's why it's so important even that we understand why we have  family, why we have friendship, why we have church. Family is a beautiful relationship and,  and the love that exists between husband and wife is something that celebrated on  Valentine's Day. The love between parents and children, what a blessing that is. And that's not even the limit of it. Friendship beyond family is very important. Some parents feel that they  don't want the kids to get involved in friendships much because those could corrupt them.  Don't fool yourself, your parents have just as much a fallen nature as the buds your friends  might make. So be a little cautious about thinking that you will suffice as the be all and the  end all in their lives. And there are more than one kind of relationship family is wonderful. So  is friendship. And then there's the church. And some folks, especially when you've been  through terrible, distressing experience with a church, you say phooey on that stuff. Maybe I  won't give up on church completely. But hey, I'll guarantee you I'm there for God, not for the  people. Well, I guess that's better than nothing, it's best to start somewhere, at least you  know, you have a command to worship God and love him. And to do that in a place of  worship. So good for you do that. But that's not really the way God intends it. God wants you  to be part of a body that loves one another that supports one another, where it's evident to all that we are Christ's disciples because of the love we have for one another. And we need to be  patient and forbearing with each other. We need to forgive each other as God and Christ  forgave us. That's the only way you can stay together as a group, By grace because hey,  we're all knuckleheads, we're all going to do stuff that wounds each other from time to time.  But if we love each other in grace, then we can stay together and enjoy that. The friendship  factor Hey, who needs it? If you're poor and oppressed, you need the friendship factor. If  you're moving up in life, you need the friendship factor. If you made it to the top, you need  the friendship factor. Yeah, and if you're over the hill, you need the friendship factor so that  pretty well covers it. And there is a love that never stops were who can separate us from the  love of Christ. So trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or dangerous  sword. As it is written for your sake, we face death all day long we are considered as sheep to  be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life neither angels nor demons, neither the present or  the future, nor any powers, neither height, nor depth, or anything else in all creation, can  separate us from the love of God. That is in Christ Jesus, our Lord. Jesus himself says, surely, I  am with you always to the very end of the age, I will never leave you nor forsake you. I do not call you servants anymore. I call you friends. Oh Lord, we pray that you will indeed help us  more and more to have our lives strengthened and enriched by the friendship factor by the  companionship and fellowship in the Holy Spirit with your son and with a father that great and eternal and boundless love may ever fill our lives. And also, Lord, that we overflow in  relationship and in love for one another, Lord, to give us a heart for the oppressed. When we  see people who are picked on who are on the sidelines, who are alone, who maybe moved to  a new area and are just trying to find a friend, Lord, help us to have a heart of hospitality and  of love and of kindness to reach out to those in need to stand up for those who are bullied, to  befriend those who are alone and to be good to them and Lord, to remove from us the things  in our own life that cause barriers and divisions. Perhaps there are old resentments and  grudges, perhaps it's just our drive to the top and our envy of our neighbor. Things that make 

us focus more on things than people. Lord removed from us all that would block relationship  and help us Lord to value and to treasure those in our lives who bring us love. And help us to  be Lord, a source of love to them. We thank You, Lord, for the friend who sticks closer than a  brother. We thank you for our Lord Jesus Christ. We pray that we may live in his love that the  mind of Christ may indeed dwell in us, and overflow to those around us. for Jesus sake. Amen.