Video Transcript: How do you increase your leadership capacity?

How do you increase your leadership capacity

Henry Reyenga: We're back.

Steve Elzinga: We are back.

Henry Reyenga: We've talked about calling. That's a big C.

Steve Elzinga: Right, the inner call, the external call. And hopefully, you worked on some of those worksheets. I know it requires a little bit of work. But I think if you just try one, you'll find that it's fun. 

Henry Reyenga: And with your spouse, if you're married, friends.

Steve Elzinga: Now we're moving from calling to competence. And competence really is about learning and growing.

Henry Reyenga: They call that leadership capacity.

Steve Elzinga: We have some Bible examples. We're going to talk about, first of all, mentors. Moses mentored Joshua for 40 years, and then Joshua took over. Paul was like the captain, and Timothy was like his young lieutenant, and he's writing all of these encouraging things in 1 and 2 Timothy.

Philippians 3:17, Paul says, "Join with others in following my example, brothers, and to take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you." That's pretty bold. What do you think of that? Is that something you think you could say?

Henry Reyenga: As years have gone by, yes, I want to invite others to follow my example.

Steve Elzinga: In some ways, whether we say it, I think when we see the words, we go, "Would I say that?" But this is what we do when we lead.

Henry Reyenga: And parents would do that. If some 24-year-old, all of a sudden, has a baby, they have to figure out how to be an example to a baby.

Steve Elzinga: Yes. This is really what leadership is. Any time you lead anything, you're really saying, "Follow my example."

Henry Reyenga: Right. So, really, everyone is sort of a mentor.

Steve Elzinga: Yes. I think we have to get over this mentality. We need people examples to follow. Bob Dylan sang a song; You've Got to Follow Somebody. You've got to serve somebody, and that's that idea that you don't just become who you are in a vacuum. So, if you are influenced by the people around you, why not find really good people?

Henry Reyenga: Yes. And that's really the essence of competence. That is leadership capacity you gain from mentors. 

Steve Elzinga: You need a mentor at CLI. Number one, in order to lead, you must show those you lead that you, too, follow. And the example there is Moses and Joshua. 

Henry Reyenga: Yeah. You've got Moses. But if you read the stories of Moses, it's a hassle for him. The people are grumbling all the time.

Steve Elzinga: His whole career is like he's demonstrating God's presence and God's salvation. And then the next time trouble happens, they blame Moses. He's got the Kick Me sign on him like nobody's business. And because of that, he lost his cool, struck the rock, he hit the bricks. And because of that, he gets disqualified for going into the Promised Land, because he couldn't control his temper. But you look at Moses, and I have a lot of sympathy for him.

Henry Reyenga: We're both church planter types and we know when you plant a church, people are grumpy.

Steve Elzinga: Right. I planted a church, and I remember some of my best people eventually rebelled against me. But do you know why? When I reflected on this Moses/Joshua thing-- let's finish the story. Moses had all this trouble. But when you read about Joshua, he didn't have as much trouble. And the reason I think he didn't have trouble is he modeled what it is to follow somebody for 40 years. So, when he took over, it's like, "How should you treat me? Well, like how I treated Moses for 40 years. I gave you a good example." So, in my church planting, I remember when we were planting the church, and people would say what about this and what about that? And the denomination says you should do that. 

I said, "What does the denomination know?" So, I boldly led, and the church grew. But eventually, people wanted to be like me. What did I do? I dissed the people above me instead of honoring them. Now I know sometimes the people in your life aren't perfect. But they don't have to be perfect for you to honor them. Find the thing in this mentor. The point is that you need to show that you are not the king of the hill, or everyone around you will want to be the king of the hill.

Henry Reyenga: And knock you off the mountain.

Steve Elzinga: That's right. Number two, mentors can help you learn the easy way.

Henry Reyenga: 1 Corinthians 11:1. "The imitators of me as I am of Christ."

Steve Elzinga: So, parenting, you try to tell the kids, "I've been there. I went down this trail, and it doesn't end well." And sometimes, the kids don't learn, because they have to learn it for themselves. But that's the hard way. So, if you can find mentors in your life that have actually overcome things and succeeded at some things, and like, "How do you do it? How do you get people to follow you? How do you have a great marriage? How do you get your kids on the same page?"

Henry Reyenga: We have noticed that CLI students called leaders who become robust, who become open minded about including godly mentors in their life. They tend to do very well, Steve. Even people who had no mentors, no help and they took earlier Getting Started classes, and they even in a very timid way found some mentors, it changed their life.

Steve Elzinga: I think most of us are who we are because somebody in our life took the time to say something, to encourage us, to show us how to do something. Like, my fifth-grade teacher noticed an art project of mine and said, "You're really creative." I didn't know that. But from then, on, that's who I am. 

Henry Reyenga: I love that.

Steve Elzinga: Okay. Why you need a mentor at CLI. The nature of online work learning.

Henry Reyenga: Yeah. Ecclesiastes 4:9 - 12, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other."

Steve Elzinga: Henry, you know a lot about this online learning. Why is a mentor so important to succeed at online?

Henry Reyenga: We're going to give you the cognitive, the classroom, the best practices. We're going to include things you've never heard of or thought about before. But in a lot of ways, ministry is a doing subject. It's about experience. There's an art to it, not just the science of it. There's a people side. And that brings a lot of things we cannot teach. It's more of the apprentice model of learning that was actually in society until the industrial age where everything went more in the factory where people were all together. But before that, it was sort of like generations. You learned from your father or you learned from community leaders. That was the native way that learning took place until the enlightenment when it changed into the university. And then at the university, they sort of brought the mentors. The paid mentors were there with the students, and they tried to make this all more into a factory model.

But the internet has introduced bringing it back to the apprentice model if we choose to do that intentionally, so we can deliver the cognitive, the intellect, the knowledge. But then, you can connect that with people in your indigenous area. I don't know if you would call it the indigenous - the term there. But your local people that have insights into this so you can surround yourself with people of experience. And then we can teach you some of the best practices and the good thinking about ministry.

Steve Elzinga: I think the other thing about the online - because even the university model - there was a class, you're with a whole group of people, you paid some money. Then the class is every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. So, there's this schedule and you paid a lot of money. Whereas online here, you don't have to go to class today. You can skip today. You don't have to do it tomorrow. You don't have to do it next week. You can do it whenever you want. There's no gun to your head. No one is making you do it. You have to intrinsically want it, and the beauty of it is you can put it anyplace you want in your schedule. But that's also what makes it difficult. Because you can do that, you can just not do it. You can procrastinate, push it off. 

Now, if you have a mentor and you explain to this mentor, "I'm taking this class." And the next time you meet them, the mentor says, "How's it going?" And you say, "I haven't done a thing," there's a little bit of subtle encouragement to keep at it. So, it's really about habit and discipline. And when you join a team, it's a whole lot easier to exercise, because everyone is doing it, and you're sort of forced to go along. But on your own, it's really difficult. So, to have someone in your life that is encouraging you and challenging you is essential with online learning.

Henry Reyenga: It really is. 

Steve Elzinga: All right. The nature of the church. Hebrews 10:24-25.

Henry Reyenga: "Let us consider how we may spur one another on."

Steve Elzinga: What is that word, spur, from? 

Henry Reyenga: Is that a horse word? 

Steve Elzinga: I think it is. My son has horses, and on their boots, they have these sharp, little pointy things. 

Henry Reyenga: That's definitely not a gentle [overlapping speech 00:10:43]. 

Steve Elzinga: So, sign me up for spurring. But sometimes that's what we need, right?

Henry Reyenga: Yeah. "Toward love, good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another all the more as you see the day approaching."

Steve Elzinga: I love this verse, because I think motivation is two-fold. We need a little spurring sometimes, a little challenge. So, I hope you see that in what we're trying to do. Sometimes, we're like, "Come on. Let's go. Let's take the hill." And sometimes, we're like, "You can do it. You have the gifts. You have the ability. God has a call on your life. Come on! Get out of bed. Get up. Let's go." And this is what you need in a mentor, someone who's not just going to be always patting you on the back. But sometimes, they're pushing you out the door.

Henry Reyenga: Yeah. That's beautiful. 

Steve Elzinga: All right. How to get a mentor.

Henry Reyenga: Or better yet, a team of mentors.

Steve Elzinga: Number one, look for godly men or women. You want people that are further down the trail than you are. Number two, all of us know godly men and women perhaps, but a lot of times, we're just too shy, too intimidated to ask. Now you're a good asker.

Henry Reyenga: Yeah.

Steve Elzinga: So, how does someone get over this timid thing? What do people fear about asking, I guess?

Henry Reyenga: They're fearing rejection. And they're fearing failure. Somebody may say, "No." And in fact, some say, "No. I don't have enough time." But some say, "Yes."

Steve Elzinga: How do you get over that fear of rejection?

Henry Reyenga: I, first of all, ask the Lord to put someone in my mind. Then I put down when I'm going to do it, who am I going to ask? Then I will fear the push back. I will feel it and, at times, even fear it. And then I'll pray about it. And then I find one simple thing. Do. 

Steve Elzinga: Just do it.

Henry Reyenga: Yeah. Just do it.

Steve Elzinga: Because in my mind, I start going, "This is probably the wrong time to call. He's probably busy." I start talking myself out of it right away.

Henry Reyenga: Oh, we're head cases. I know you're a head case too. And people will say, "No." And sometimes, at Christian Leaders Institute, after somebody will watch this, they'll ask me to be their mentor when I have zero time anymore. Because I'm mentoring a bunch of people already. But then you'll be discouraged. Like, I've said, "No," to someone, they'll go like, "See, it doesn't work." I'll go, "But yes it does." 

Ideally, there will be someone in your circle of relationship that has available time, that will say, "Yes." And they will say, "Yes" to you. 

Steve Elzinga: And you've asked some pretty high-up-there people to mentor you. It's like a long shot. And yet, sometimes people say, "Yes."

Henry Reyenga: One of them is our prime mentor back in the 1990s. We were planting a church. He heard our story a little bit and we started getting together more and more. So, an Amway distributor tried to get me into Amway in Colorado at one of my church plants. And I was so impressed to hear this ordinary man who had a speech impediment, working for the military, who was so bold. And I thought to myself, "If I could be that bold for the Gospel." 

Then I thought to myself, "I went to school in Grand Rapids, MI. I know Amway is connected to Grand Rapids, MI." So, I sent a fax. This is 1993.

Steve Elzinga: A what?

Henry Reyenga: A fax. I sent a fax to the corporate headquarters - Attention: Rich DeVos. And the question was, "Will you be my mentor?" And then I had mentioned Steve. So, it was basically a mentoring project of two young church planters who want to share Christ to the world. And within 24 hours, amazingly, his secretary sent me a fax and said, "Yes, Mr. DeVos will be your mentor." And with that, were phone numbers, car phone numbers back then. 

And then it began a relationship where we actually flew to South Florida. We went to Orlando Magic games. And all these meetings were fun. And it was from a simple ask, "Will you be my mentor?" So, we're not promising you a rose garden.

Steve Elzinga: That fax might have said, "No, I don't have any time."

Henry Reyenga: Yeah. In fact, there were many others that I did send, and they said, "No." But the Lord will open doors if you have that openness to actually want to be mentored by somebody. We were in our early 30s.

Steve Elzinga: Yeah, but it changed our lives.

Henry Reyenga: It did. 

Steve Elzinga: So, how to get a mentor - better yet, a team of mentors. Once you have a mentor, don't just sit back and let them do all the work. Don't become a dependent. A really good mentor wants somebody who wants to do something, who wants to become a great leader, who wants to follow God's call. And so, you set the agenda. You say what you're trying to do. You ask the specific kind of how. Don't just sit back and, "Well, I'm this dependent person. You've got to walk me through everything."

Henry Reyenga: Right. And I think, too, it's important not to have an angle. I didn't think of Rich DeVos as the billionaire who would support our ministry. I didn't need support. We were already doing ministry. I just was impressed that he had something to give when it comes to how do we get bold. If everybody would be that bold like they are at Amway for the Gospel, it would change the world. That was what interested me. And out of these mentor relationships, yes, there can be funding. There can be support. There are new opportunities you can have. But don't go into a mentor relationship with some angle. 

I remember when we first met Rich. The very first time, we went to Florida, and he asked us, "What do you want? Why do you want to see me?" And we basically said, "We want to learn how to reproduce leaders worldwide." That's really what happened.

Steve Elzinga: "How do we get people so enthusiastic about their faith that they're willing to study, to listen to lectures, and read?" Oh, that's Christian Leaders.

Henry Reyenga: Yeah, really. That is. Right.

Steve Elzinga: So, that vision from way back when, we're seeing fulfilled in you.

Henry Reyenga: Right. So, pretty awesome.

Steve Elzinga: So, number four, take the initiative in the ongoing relationship. Again, don't be a dependent. 

Henry Reyenga: Don't be a spammer. Don't overdo it. 

Steve Elzinga: Right. Because generally, a good mentor is busy and that's why they're a good mentor. And so, you don't want to be a dependent.

Henry Reyenga: And what we did, and we would recommend it, is we asked Rich about what type of boundaries, how often do we want to meet? And we had our twice a year meeting. We had the winter meeting and the summer meeting. And those were beautiful times and we had an agenda we came with. "Here are our questions." And again, it's not going to be all perfect. Some years, you might not meet. I remember for two years, he had huge health issues. But it worked very well in terms of learning from him how to reproduce leaders.

Steve Elzinga: And you and I have been mentors to one another. And that was more regular.

Henry Reyenga: If you're married to a godly spouse, he or she is a mentor. And people who recommend you, to commend you for ministry, because we love to create environments where you are recommended, that's powerful. Many times, that recommender is a mentor.

Steve Elzinga: Right. So, they're all around you. The important thing is to get at least somebody.

Henry Reyenga: Yes, exactly.

Steve Elzinga: All right. We'll see you again next time.