Henry - Hi. I'm Henry Reyenga, and with me is my wife of 38 years of Pamela Reyenga. And  so we're going to conduct this class, we have a good team of people that are going to speak  into it, besides us, a class on sexual intimacy topics related to ministry, and to minister in this  area. So what do you think about doing this together with your husband of 38 years?  

Pam - It's a good thing.  

Henry - And will, we will be transparent? And will we believe that everybody has their own  journey, we also believe you have your journey. And God calls us even though we are broken  people, even in this area, to see the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit. In Second  Corinthians four, Paul talks about, and we have this ministry, and then he even says that we  are jars of clay.  

Pam - We have this treasure in jars of clay.  

Henry - That the all surprising glory goes to God. So in a lot of ways, even in this area, where  if you have some brokenness there, that that becomes a powerful in sharing and ministry  topic, right? As long as we're really clear that we're walking with the Lord, He is discipling us.  He's changing us. It's not like, oh, we sinned so that we can, quote, be more effective, know if we're in this area of life is being surrendered and keep being surrendered to Jesus Christ. But we often reach people. And we're talking about some of those dynamics in this class. In topics such as this, so let's get going. Okay. So, why is this topic a ministry topic?  

Pam - All right. The first one there is sexual intimacy usually plays a major role in our stories,  people have struggled with injuries and abuse, as well as being the one who offended sin  creeps in easily in this area and most people's experience.  

Henry - So first of all, we have something in common with everybody is that we all have a  story in this area. And we can, we're in this together, we need a Savior. And then once we  have that savior he saves us and we become a new life. We are being redeemed, despite our past, through our past, over our past. It's just the incredible journey, and ministry. So in so one thing is we have rapport with every human being do.  

Pam - All right, the second one for many Christians, topics related to sexual intimacy, prompt  people to become believers, the past injuries from their sins play a major role in their  discipleship and growth.  

Henry - We have seen that we've seen that when we were ministering to the church. How  many people with the Lord would use an injury in the area of sexual intimacy to bring  someone to Jesus Christ. But then we also seen that that's like when the Apostle Paul said he got a thorn in his flesh. But the thorn in the flesh made him realize he was weak. And he  needed the Lord more he was strong. So we've seen that is both a powerful prompting to  need Jesus Christ. But it's also a humbling thing, that we're all in this together in this journey.  Right? Now, you read an ad and a lot of stories that come in this a topic you see, you know,  occasionally or quite a bit, or what would you say,  

Pam - Oh, quite quite a bit. Yeah. It impacts people's lives and affects their journey and for  any ministry instead. It's pretty cool. It is. Exactly. All right. Third, sexual intimacy topics are  complicated. Pleasure and pain are mixed up in 1000s of ways. In ministry, you will notice that

somebody who gets married things are going really, really well something triggers something.  And so the intimacy is just bringing them such satisfaction, joy, maybe a child, maybe two,  and then something goes off the rail. And if they're not in a relationship and ministry or  connection the by the it goes off the route and they're alone, and then it creates frustration  and people and we have noticed all too often that this you know, it's been not stated, but often the real reason for the divorce. You know, you don't like at first level people going, will get  counseling, they're talking about more communication, but the elfin room, sexual intimacy  issues are listening that just test so injured the marriage. So as ministers, this is an area that,  you know, the Holy Spirit's at work. But as ministers, we want to be aware of the topics, the  subjects in the thinking the skills in this area.  

Pam - All right, for the history of the church and church leaders have a complicated and often  non biblical experience with this topic.  

Henry - Let's just say it's the truth. Greek Gnosticism entered into that history of the church  early in the Gnosticism basically said that sexual pleasure sexual experience was evil. And  then they combined it with from First Corinthians seven, where Paul says, Yeah, I want to  make it where everyone is like me.  

Pam - Yeah, yeah, I wish that all were as I am.  

Henry - Right. Okay. So then it started getting like brought into the leadership thinking. So in  early Christianity, for instance, both men and women married or single, could be in ministry,  right? Like I shifted in Dr. Carolyn Osiek to talk did a class with us, like women ordination and  early church. And she chronicled how, by the third century, only virgin women could be in  ministry. And then by the sixth century, no woman could be a ministry, but it was prompted by  that belief that the female was more of the sexually fallen person is interesting, right? Yes,  yes. And then, but it also affected the men, right? So by the 12th century, only celibate or  Virgin men could be in ministry. Right. So now, what we've done is we've closed off leaders  for ministry, but it was motivated out of some of these subjects, right of sexual identity. And  that was  

Pam - from Paul's sayings, and which later on in that same chapter, he says, however, he  should have, should have their own if they have those desires. And so when she says said  was, like law, the majority.  

Henry - So what happened? The church made the exception. Right. And then it was difficult.  Be transparent about today. Right? In, there's a bunch of concern about, like,  

Pam - give Satan an opening Yeah, they know to attack an area then.  

Henry - Pedophilia, Yeah, all sorts of things have happened in the topic of sexual intimacy.  Right. So it is an area where we have to be transparent about and make sure that we are part of that. Excuse me. Okay.  

Pam - Next, Next, okay. Media is everywhere, selling a sexually immoral view of sexual  intimacy. Many Christians have been sucked into porn or have been injured by it. 

Henry - Well, to complicate everything, here comes the next complication, right? Is that the  world and the way the world operates in area of sexuality is fallen broken, and millions of  dollars are spent to a suck everybody into it's broken. And we're gonna talk about that in this  class. So we'll we won't get much into it now.  

Pam - Yeah. All right. Next marriage is being delayed, which forces Christian singles to  develop a sexual purity plan that will actually work.  

Henry - Here's where we're seeing a lot of carnage in this area where us take in the time of  Jesus and for most of the history of the world. Marriage was at a younger experience. And  now it's been delayed and in many cases have been delayed near the age of 30. In some  Western countries, and even more. Now, again, all over the world. It's different. We get all that but as we delay it, it creates another place where Satan can come in and knock everything  up.  

Pam - All right, the next few Christian leaders are giving leadership here. And the leadership  from the Social Sciences has largely separated sex from marriage.  

Henry - Yeah, it's a relevant topic. the porn industry believes that it's helping people to  become more free in that topic, social science, sex therapists are saying that you should have experiment when you're young in this area that many believe that porn is okay, many believe  it isn't. Okay, so I'm not gonna say that. We all believe that. But the point I'm saying is that the social sciences take is not for married sexual intimacy as an exclusive understanding of  where that power is understood and practiced right now.  

Pam - Yeah, we all know that that's not  

Henry - I don't want to vilify. Most sexual therapists, I've now rejected porn, but there was, you know, 20 years ago, you know, so there isn't a shift. I all that. But still, the issue is not hot  monogamy as the place where marriage into sexual intimacy and pleasure occurs. It's very  much experimental. Apart from that.  

Pam - All right, Christian, married couples can frustrate each other in this topic.  

Henry - You know, even if the marriage lasts wonderfully all this is a hot topic earlier, we said  how it you know, it can bring such pain that we've seen divorce and all that, but it can just be  a frustrating topic. Because Ruth uses in this class, we'll talk about how to get that  conversation to be someone normal.  

Pam - Yeah, no, that's true. It can be awkward. Together. If you're not, yeah, you need to  develop a comfortability with  

Henry - Yes, yes. Right. I mean, for us, we do it. Yeah. Because you, you talk about this area,  if I say something, then these two things, for example, why do you say that? And then she  says us tonight, you know,  

Pam - go back and forth like that. Yeah. 

Henry - And this is such a intimate area, right? That to get to that transparency, level, take  some effort and trust and work right and injuries,  

Pam - right then to complicate things, too.  

Henry - So it's, it's an area of frustration. So ministry is an area that can happen if let's say  your church has a marriage ministry, you do a marriage retreat, all of those areas, it can just  start eliminating some of the frustration in healthy marriages.  

Pam - All right. And then Christians have a transformational lifestyle that brings safe pleasure  filled spiritual and physical oneness to a world desperately seeking this. We have  opportunities to share transforming testimonies, and the role of our marriage is to glorify God  and reach out there's  

Henry - what I mean put some people say, you know, the church is decreasing going down.  And I'm like, the opportunities for ministry are opening exponentially right now. Right? And as  people get stuck into porn and stuck into that Metaverse, where everything becomes, like  virtual, like  

Pam - getting more and more, getting more disconnected as Right, right? Where like in  person, you had all this impersonal connection through this these, right? Whether it's a  computer or your whatever Metaverse is gonna be like what is  

Henry - that? That's gonna go in 30 years, it seems like the trend will be to continue to  separate, you know, a real man and a woman from being together. So sexuality will be this  independent thing, like you just having a morning snack or an evening meal and will not have  actual, the biblical view, which we're gonna talk about in this class. Right. So again, this is an  area where we have an opportunity to give an alternative for those who want this alternative.  Yes, we are practitioners of the old and ancient marriage way that we consider new and vital.  And if you're interested in this ministers share the knowledge of this old and amazing way, but it's not old. It's how we were made to be. It was transformative on the world today and the  best place for pleasure and the best place for having children. So that's what we're going to  do in this class. We're going to look at some areas here. We should probably give a few  disclaimers.  

Pam - Okay? Would you like me to read? Sexually explicit things will be talked about? I guess we don't want to comment on that. We are not the answer team here. This course comes out  of a passion and a study of ministry sciences as it relates Ah to sexual intimacy. Ministry in  this area is complicated, but it will transform lives because it occupies such a large area of  hurt and brokenness.  

Henry - Again, we don't come off like we're now the new, like, I remember there was one time  asked Dr. Ruth or something like that, because or Masters and Johnson had studied this, and  we've read all that stuff. But we've also had the opportunity to read extensively. Ministry  sciences, how does the word of God shape our experience of this? And then how does social  sciences so we will include in this class, for instance, articles from Christian sex therapists  who study this from the Christian point of view. And we're not going to be afraid to bring  whatever insights we can share to help you become more able to give ministry in your  context. And in internationally, what is your personal life? You know, anytime you take a class,

I don't know if you do this, but I know when we study, we study for others, but the first people  we study for is ourselves.  

Pam - Right? It gets us talking  

Henry - sanctification and glorification of God in our own lives, but then that helps us share  ministry with others, right?  

Pam - always growing, always learning. Yes.  

Henry - So the course is gonna study.  

Pam - We have Ruth Buezis, she begins a study with a mini course she recorded on God's  design for sex.  

Henry - Now you actually  

Pam - I attended her seminars. So yeah, she had done a couple of seminars at the  convention this past fall, and enjoyed her very much. Very awesome perspective. And, yeah,  easy to talk with about it. Yep. All right. Then there's Dr. Lloyd Carr. He does a study on the  Book of Song of Solomon,  

Henry - Lloyd, Dr. Lloyd Carr. Now that God this guy is like he's, when he's doing the taping of this by one of our partners, Dr. Hilldebrandt's ministry that we are allowed to use these  tapings elearning. What one of the things that I appreciate this, he was really one of the first  ones to really write a commentary in. And he did that in the 1980s. And in his he doesn't, he's  sort of an older man now. But to go through the Song of Songs. And this is sort of an  academic piece of the class, this part, some of you will love this piece and connect more with  it, and others will love more of the practical stuff. But if you're going to be a minister, you  should know, right? The Song of Songs, because it's sexual, sexual intimacy literature, a  poem is called or some people call it marriage or erotic literature. I mean, you should know  that. Because a lot of times we ministers, we preach on everything, but how many Song of  Songs, messages have you heard from the pulpit? Right. Yeah. And married to them. Not  something that is often addressed. So you should know this. We want you to know, Dr. Carr  stuff, even though to get through.  

Pam - All right, and then we go back to Ruth, and she'll be introducing questions that the  church needs to ask.  

Henry - Be very good. And you will also watch her class on this one too,  

Pam - right? Yeah. Yeah, we had. That was. Yeah, it was good. It was eye opening just me  thinking about some of the different which will  

Henry - be covered later in the class as well. More in more detail. Yes,  Pam - well done. 

Henry - So Pam and I will dive into the deep waters in some of these subjects talking about  philosophy and theology issues, which we will talk we'll address some of the practical issues  like sex, singleness and masturbation.  

Pam - Right. And we will study sexual sin as it is especially related to Overcoming  Pornography Addiction,  

Henry - and that I've actually done mini courses on that that mini course is going to be known  as this class. So if you've taken that mini course, you're already a leg up on on study and then taking the quiz for that, right. So in this, both those other mini courses in the same way, that'd  be not taking the mini course you don't have to take them in the course just take it part of this  curriculum.  

Pam - All right, and we will feature many articles that come from Dr. Josh Spurlock's group,  my counselor online plus many more research sources.  

Henry - Yes. articles that we found helpful. Yes, you know, Pam But I'm excited about doing  this class with you. And because in a sense, our 38 years we've gone through the journey. I  mean, when I grew up, I grew up in nice little town of Delavan, Wisconsin. And at the age of  12, I've had a paper out in a rent above paper out was a attic where there was pornography.  

And, you know, when I saw that, I mean, again, you're 12, 13 years old. And it's just like, you  never seen that before. And at first, you don't know what to make out of it. But But what was  happening in a pleasureful, way a 12 year old was beginning to be injured. Right. It was a  pleasurable injury. But it was an injury, that I had neighbors who were an older couple were  very explicit. And I think they wanted to do some weird stuff with me. And by the grace of God, I never did. But even that interaction was a form of abuse. Yes, it was, okay. And I look at our  marriage, you know, occasionally I have struggled with porn, fortunately, by the grace of God  and transparency, and that is not something that I've lost myself. And many of you understand that. And in the now that I'm today, we're gonna talk about that later. porn addiction, men and  women and the today porn is everywhere. But it's a pleasurable injury, that it's almost like, in  Jesus Christ, when you struggle with porn, it's like you have an injury, you start scratching off  the scab, and you run away heal pain, and in confession, you come back and you like, then  put accountability in your life and you work hard, you stay busy, you don't want to be  scratching open that injury. And for yourself, I mean, you know, in your own journey. It's a  discipleship route through the whole process of life. Right. So as you look at your life in the  area of sexual intimacy, God has helped you grow too,  

Pam - right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. always learning and growing in and godly ways. One, two, you  know, we make a mistake, or we,  

Henry - yeah, whatever it is. You talk it through, like, what's going on here? What's the and  well, I noticed too, where for you, I've really seen like an openness to explore and your own  sexuality in the marriage, the marriage cycle, right? have gone through hysterectomy? I  mean, all of those things. Right, if discipleship of Jesus Christ isn't the Lord, that area too, it's  easy to get stuck, you know? I'm done with that.  

Pam - Right? Yeah. Yeah, that's true. You could go that route. But right, 

Henry - but because of the power of the Holy Spirit, because it's an area that God created  good. And we're gonna talk about all that stuff. We can't journey together. And many of you  have a journey that you're ours is nothing in comparison to your journey. And we get that, but  we have this in common with you. We are interested in pursuing the lordship in the Savior  ship, and the joy of Jesus Christ in even this area of life, and then helping others to find what  he created.  

Pam - Right? So I would say every journey is you know, we're each on our journey, and it's  with each other as we walk before the Lord, and want to honor God with our marriages. And  this topic is important.  

Henry - Here we go. We're excited to welcome you on this journey. And we're excited about  ministry, that this could be an area of ministry for you in ways maybe it's the ministry to your  children. Maybe it's ministry to a neighbor, maybe it's in your church, learn how to do a  

Pam - sibling, you know, other, right? Maybe  

Henry - it's ministry to a spouse. You know, maybe it's ministry to in life coach, like maybe  you're interested in life coaching, this can be an area of specialization. You say, hey, you  know, I looked at these subjects, and this would be an area maybe you're a chaplain and  you're just bringing the presence of God and often this topic comes before you at least you  got more confidence to be able to talk about this,  

Pam - right? Because people have been injured in this area. may want to talk about this. You  know, they're dealing with different.  

Henry - Exactly, yeah, so welcome aboard. We look forward to the journey together glorifying  Jesus Christ as we study ministry related topics that relate to sexual intimacy. 



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