Video Transcript: 1 Corinthians 7:1-5

Henry - So we're back. So we thought it would be really good to go deep into one New  Testament passage about marital sexual intimacy. And that's I Corinthians 7:1-5. So if you  have your Bibles, get them out, pause the tape a minute, and we're going to look at those  verses on the lab and on the screen. So you go there as well. So with that, here we go. All  right.  

Pam - singleness and marriage are both good. Marriage is a boundary against sexual  immorality. I Corinthians 7:1-2. Now for the matters you wrote about, it is good for a man not  to have sexual relations with a woman. But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man  should have sexual relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband.  

Henry - So the first thing is the says that the ordinary pattern we talked about earlier  presentation, is that you find a spouse, right? And that's a good yeah, now if you're single, you can be single, but it is good. And because the world back then was filled with sexual  immorality like it is today? Probably a very similar situation. Yes.  

Pam - Okay. All right, generosity duty.  

Henry - I Corinthians 7:1-2, a husband should satisfy generously give what is pledged, his  wife sexual needs and a wife should satisfy her husband's sexual needs. generously give  what is pledged should satisfy us interesting that Greek word I love seeing the Greek and and you get that satisfy is already a generosity, it's you actually have something to share. And in in sexual intimacy sharing is the bottom line. Okay. Unknown Speaker 1:59 Pam - Sexual equal  partners surrender of our sexual autonomy. This is a hard saying, the wife's body does not  belong only to her, it also belongs to her husband in the same way the husband's body does  not belong only to him, it also belongs to his wife. The literal Greek is the wife does not have  authority over her own body, but the husband has authority over her body. Likewise, the  husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife has authority over his body.  This is a surrender they made when they said their marriage vows. Unknown Speaker 2:30  Henry - That is fascinating. The Christian view in that early church context or that Roman  Empire context, that Roman view was patriarchy, that the the father that head of house had  authority over everybody's body in the house, especially his wife's body, but anybody else.  And here Christianity comes along and says, No, the wife has authority over her husband's  body. And, like manner, it's revelant. It's like women's rights were talked about way back then.  If someone goes into marriage as instituted by God, they're equal partners in their marriage,  and their sexual intimacy is of equal partnership. Now why is this such a hard saying is  because this saying brings out what are each other's sexual needs? What about what she  wants what he wants and in the Listen than to sit down to the talk? I mean, these are the  gospel is not always just some easy thing to do with it. There's obedience connected to this.  

Pam - All right, sex positive marriage is a gift pledged. Do not withhold the gift you pledged I  Corinthians 7:5, Do not deprive each other defraud. You know King James says or  ungenerously, withhold what is pledged it's the literal Greek except by mutual consent and for  time so that you may Devote yourselves to prayer, then come together again so that Satan  will not tempt you because of your lack of self control. Apo-Fono

Henry - goes to consent on this How about this deprive each other ungenerously hold what is  pledged so? So they're in the Greek? So earlier, we talked about satisfy it's a gift pledged.  And so, you know, some translations talk about your marital duty, right? In the sense that 

doesn't really get at this is really saying that you're you've made a pledge to give and share  something when you were married. So you can think of it as your duty to fulfill it, or you could  think of it as I enthusiastically fulfill my0 vow, right? So it does is kind of an interesting way to  think about that. The next one here. Oh, let's go further about that.  

Pam - Going further and defraud ye not one the other there is a cheating of omission or  commission. A sin of commission is taking action we should not this can be in deed thought or something we say. Conversely, a sin of omission is when we don't take action, we should  know, it's interesting  

Henry - that the when we were talking about this in the Greek there about withholding that, in  the King James Version went down the route of defraud. And then you'd said, Oh, that's like  cheating on someone. And then you think about this, like when somebody has an affair, we  often think of as they cheat on each other, once she's on the other person, etc. And then  you'd think that here, and then think of the sins of commission and the sins of omission, which apply in this situation as well. And the end, the sins of commission are things that are obvious  

Pam - cheating, such as an affair when they stand porn addiction,  

Henry - but there's also  

Pam - cheating, such as withholding sexual intimacy,  

Henry - right. And then there is the  

Pam - omission commission cycle without withholding marital sexual intimacy often  contributes to the search for other sexual intimacy, which creates new forms of omission or  comissioned. Excellent. Yeah, we both in there are moments in or comission.  

Henry - Okay, so we then ministry since 1987, in one thing, we've met with a lot of couples  and a lot of discussions and all of that occurred. And this is a real cycle, when when someone feels injured, because they had come into the marriage thinking that wow, and I'm married,  and we can have sex every day, three hours a day. And then the other person, you know,  once a week or twice a week, okay, now you have this clash, and then they're not talking  about anything, they're not discovering what it is,  

Pam - right? Why they're having this  

Henry - one starts feeling the victim. I expected this then.  

Pam - Because they're not understanding where they're coming. Right?  Henry - they don't understand each other.  

Pam - Right? Why do they want it you know, in some people feel  

Henry - like like the one is, if you want to more than, you know, three days a week, I'm being  abused or the other may say, if you wanted less, I mean, the whole thing. It's all about  expectation. Yes. 

Pam - Yeah. Okay, so that's why talking is very important.  

Henry - And then at the end, we have seen that this cycle has killed many marriages. Now,  what's said is that they had irreconcilable differences. But if you're in a confidential minister,  discussion with them, and you find out what it really comes down, in many cases, it comes  right here the cycle of expectations and frustrations and bitterness that occurs because one  has an expectation and it was not in harmony. So anyway,  

Pam - as we move on, mutual consent and discussion, consented mutual sounding together,  and then you can explain those words.  

Henry - So I Corinthians 7:5, Do not deprive each other we just talked about that, except by  mutual consent. Okay, so I'll stop right there, because we're gonna go on to further words,  that word comes from the Greek word, SUN - PHONOS, which is together sounding now.  But people say it's like, well, you consent to just not make love for a while. But that idea there  is together sounding. So in a sense, you may agree to not make love to one another, but it  would be a agreed discussion time about your marital situation talk. Sun-Phonos is almost like  what a sex therapist, you know, in preparing for this course, we read what does a sex  therapist do and their thing is dialogues, which bring therapy. In other words, talking,  

Pam - it's bringing healing. Yes, it's  

Henry - okay. It's mutual consent. So yes, it's true. It's mutual consent, but it's actual mutual  discussions, consenting that were We're gonna stop because we have a problem. We're  going to address it  

Pam - right. Okay. timely manner. I Corinthians 7:5, Do not deprive each other except by  mutual consent and for a time,  

Henry - right again, the apostle Paul led by the Holy Spirit here just knows. Yeah. Okay, so  we'll just stop and we'll talk about like, no, timely. Don't let this Don't let this  

Pam - fester. Yes. Yes. Retreat a prayerful or worshipful healing, right. So do not, do not  deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time so that you may devote have retreat  or holiday together to talk and pray about your sexual needs, problems, hopes and dreams  

Henry - that were there devote actually means take a holiday. Okay, so take, you know, go to  perform  

Pam - devotion. Devote yourself to prayer. Yes. Right to prayer holidays. Are your marriage.  

Henry - Yes, talking about your marriage. I remember. We had decided before. When we had  a bunch of kids, my parents would come over and then we always try to have a week retreat,  where we talked about our marriage had shared a lot of sexual intimacy, praise the Lord. And  but it was it always felt really like  

Pam - talked about things. Yes, enjoy. 

Henry - Possible that is a really  

Pam - healthy thing to do. Yes, come together better. Do not deprive each other except by  mutual consent and for time, so that you may Devote yourselves to prayer then come  together again, again be upon each other. So that same will not tempt you because of your  lack of self control.  

Henry - That the literal is in the verb to be as pollen than the verb be, again, to be, you know,  like going back to Genesis one flesh upon each other, you know, be knowing that marriage is  an intimacy, deep power in life and pleasure for each other.  

Pam - Stop the common trick of Satan. Satan knows that humans are broken in this area in  some way and tries to exploit that when he can do not to deprive each other except by mutual consent for time, so that you may devote have a holiday together in prayer about your  problems, hopes and dreams and then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you  because of your lack of self control.  

Henry - Yes, interesting. That lack of self control was for like, it feels like a slam to all of us we have such lack of self control. But what he's really saying is that it's the lack of self control is  the default setting for both of us. And then the tempting Satan. To me that's fascinating  because when Adam and Eve were found the sin and Satan was there, and he knew that this  was going to change everything, and he does that trick on Eve, Adam, so he's still playing that game to humans in now. So you know, as we think about I Corinthians 7:1-5, these passages  I use when I would read that just kind of go like here's a list of things. Incredible marriage  retreat called The I Corinthians 7:1-5 marriage retreat  

Pam - or holiday retreat and you guys are beautiful.  

Henry - Well, we actually have one more presentation that is to really have a ton of be a  Official Function of the holiday. All right, what's important to that