Video Transcript: Sex as Spiritual Oneness

The next reason God created sex comes out of Ephesians 5:31-32. And I'll read you the  verse. It says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his  wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about  Christ and the church. And so it's this strange passage where Paul's talking about becoming  man and wife becoming one. And then it shifts and it says, But I'm talking about the Christ in  the church. So like, I want to take this a step further. And I think a lot of people think of it as  becoming one marriage of Christ in the church. But we read in Genesis 2:24, like becoming  one part of that is sex. And so I want to say that sex is this powerful metaphor for Christ and  the church, for intimacy with Christ. And so helps us understand what intimacy with God looks like. Kind of feels like a strange concept. But But I want to help you understand this. And so  let me give you some specific examples. So, when I was reading Song of Songs, we were  actually studying it as an allegory of God's love for us. I remember thinking, so this is  supposed to, like, if marriage and sex is supposed to be this allegory of God's love for me,  then I'm gonna take it to the extreme like, so orgasm, is supposed to help me understand  intimacy with Christ. And I really pondered this, and eventually got to this place where orgasm is this amazing place where you're so in tune with yourself. And you get to this place where  you're thinking about nothing else, you're not worried about what you sound like, what you  look like. It's just me and my husband, face to face, and nothing else exists. And I suddenly  realized that this was how God wanted me to worship to get to this place where I'm  worshiping God, and nothing else exists. I don't worry about what I look like, I don't worry  about what I sound like, I don't worry about what anybody else is doing. It's just me and God,  meeting face to face. And so I think orgasm helps us understand what, how God wants us to  worship. Let me give you some more examples. I think that in order for us to experience  orgasm, during sex, we have to get to this place where we let go, where we stop trying to  control things where we, we trust our body and just let things happen. Isn't it funny that that's  what God wants us to do to, to surrender to Him, to stop trying to control everything, to  micromanage everything, to just surrender. I think that we talked earlier about how God wants us to come to this place where, sex is this place where he makes us back into one we're here  unifies us, whether we're put together or not, sometimes we're broken, sometimes we're tired. But sex becomes this place where we find restoration. And it's not a natural place for a lot of  like, naturally, we don't necessarily will want to do that. We want to have things put together  first. And yet that's what God wants for us. I think the same is true in our relationship with  Jesus like, a lot of times. If I'm in a bad spot, I don't want to meet with Jesus. I kind of want to  have my life put together first. And yet, that's what he wants. He wants me to come broken  and weary and tired and pour myself out to him? I think that in sex sometimes we have to  prioritize sex, least on the front end, and be intentional about carving out time to connect. And then when we get in this place where we're connecting on a regular basis, things become  easier and easier. And actually, we look forward to it more and more, we're hopefully we get to this place where we crave intimacy with our spouse, because we're so intimately connected  to them, then when we have not spent time together, we know it and we miss it. I think the  same is true in a relationship with Jesus. Sometimes we have to be intentional on the front  end, where we say You know what, like, I feel like I'm becoming distant from God. And things  have gotten in the way and I gotta carve out some time again. So we become intentional.  Meeting with him about praying about sitting and listening, and then being with him about  reading His word. And eventually we get to this place where it's just kind of happening  throughout the day, and, and we feel so connected with him, that if we miss our time with him, if other things get in the way, because we're on vacation, or families in town, or life has gotten  busy, or we have more stress at work, we suddenly realize, Oh my gosh, I miss him. I think  sex has to be this balance of giving and receiving right? It's not all about serving our spouse, 

sometimes, the biggest gift that we give is letting our spouse serve us. And so it is this  balance of being a servant, but also in a healthy way, being selfish enough to actually share  our desires with ourselves. And so I think the same is kind of true in our, in our faith walk  right? We are called to serve others. But sometimes we are the hardest thing we do is to let  others survives us and to ask for help. I think that sex is not just, it's not supposed to be just  about going through the motions or checking it off our to do list. Or just getting to the finish  line. I think sex is supposed to be this lifetime journey of discovering about each other about  getting to know each other. And when we do sex gets better and better. I think the same is  true of our relationship with God. I mean, God doesn't want us to come to church, just to  check it off the list, to find doesn't want us to pray just to check it off the list. He wants us to  bring our heart and our soul and be there because we want to be there. I think our spouse  doesn't want us to just show up. They want us to be there because we want to be there. And  the last thing is, is sex is. It's our choice whether we show up yeah, maybe we could go  through the motions. But if we really show up, nobody can make us do it. Nobody can guilt us  into doing it. It is absolutely our choice. And when we show up for sex and really share  ourselves. I think that's the same with our relationship with Christ. God does not force us into  giving Him our heart in our free choice to freely choose and to receive and so. There's so  many parallels between sex and our relationship with Christ. And I think that sex can help us  understand just how intimate Christ wants to be with the best of the best of the best times that you connect with your spouse. That is how deeply God wants to know you. But I think that this truth that comes out of Ephesians 5:31-32 can also be useful in learning and deciphering and  discerning what is really true about sex. What does God really wants for sex? Because I've  read a ton of books about Sex, both secular and Christian. And there are a lot of things in  there that sometimes rubbed me the wrong way. I think. I don't think that's true. For instance, I think the world would tell us that marriage and sex and marriage, eventually it's just gonna be  a boring because you're with the same person all the time. Well, is that true in my relationship with God? Well, maybe if I'm just going through the motions and checking off the list. But if I'm on this journey of really getting to know God, definitely gets better and better and sweeter and sweeter. And so shouldn't the same be true in our sex life? Where if I'm on this journey of  really getting to know my spouse, doesn't sex get better and better, and sweeter and  sweeter? Or this idea that you know what, wife it is your duty to fulfill your husband's needs.  And even when it's not convenient, even when you really don't feel like it. You need to have  sex with your husband. You know, I don't know that that lines up with what God wants. I feel  like Jesus talked to the Pharisees all the time about you know, you follow all the rules, and  you do what you're supposed to. But you're totally missing. What I want is your heart. And so  isn't the same true in sex where if we just show up to sex, because we feel like it's our duty?  That's not really what our spouse wants? Our spouse wants is our heart. This principle  applies to just about every truth, we've talked about sex, whether it's oneness, or knowing, or  comfort, refreshment. I think it even helps us understand our growth progression. You know,  when we first start having sex, I think a lot of it is self focus, we're worried about whether  we're doing things right, whether we're going to have an orgasm, whether we're pleasing our  spouse, and, and I think our relationship with God is itself focused on helped me to help me to be this person helped me to do this. And then later on. In our sex life, maybe we become a  little more other focused, more focused on our spouse. Where are they? And, and what are  their needs? And how do I, how do I meet them there? And we're listening and we're  communicating. I think the same is true in a relationship with God, where we're less focused  on us. And we're asking God, what do you want for me? God, who do you want me to be?  And then I think we get to even further point along in our group progression where, you know,  when we have sex, we have no agenda, we're not worried about what we're supposed to do. 

We're not even necessarily worried about what our spouse wants. But we show up, fully  present, needing each other. confident enough to express ourselves and our desires and our  wishes, and confident enough to let our bodies move, like they want to move and then we just go somewhere together. And sometimes it's sometimes it's exciting things or sometimes just  being still together and connecting either eye, skin or skin with no words at all. I think the  same is true in our relationship with God where it becomes, we get to this place where  sometimes we don't have to say anything to meet with God. We can just be just be in the  presence of God, just feel the Holy Spirit be touched by God. And so, sex will help us  understand intimacy with Christ. But intimacy with Christ will also help us understand the truth about sex.