Video Transcript: Holy Masturbation

Hi, I'm Henry Reyenga and I want to walk you move back to a session called holy  masturbation. This is a difficult subject because in some ways, marriage and marriage  sexuality is so connected to the practice within marriage. Yet masturbation is a very personal,  private, the intimacy of pleasure, that which a person brings to themselves somehow feels  that goes against the marriage concept where the practice of sexuality in the marriage  bedroom or in the marriage relationship. So, how do we understand solo sex masturbation  with married sex? Now, the culture in general does not even understand why Christians have  a problem with this masturbation is whatever it is, it's like, alleviating hunger. Need, whatever  if you feel masturbate, just masturbate, but for Christians, what's in our heart? In what are in  our thoughts? Matter? So how do we understand a under a holy masturbation perspective?  So that's what we're going to talk about today. So our clear message from the Bible is that  God created our sexuality to be completed in the marriage worldview and the marriage bed.  Now for single Christians, masturbation may have a role in keeping sexuality in the marriage  narrative. And we meaning in it, whatever, whatever the situation. So whether someone is  single or married, even throughout their lifetime, their sexuality is grounded in the marriage  narrative even before they're married. For a married person masturbation may serve intimacy  in the marriage, and enhance it even, but it does not replace it. So masturbation, may be and  is a beneficial thing, not just a release, to keep us from evil actions. And Hebrews 13:4, there  should be honored by all in the marriage bed kept pure for God will judge the adulterer in all  the sexual immorale. So much of the literature, Christian leisure when talking about  masturbation, says it is not God's best in you know, some it's that God would desire that you  and those that are under your leadership, all people would be in a great marriage and  experience their sexuality there. So yes, that's the best. But still, it is, is it something  beneficial, it is something that brings glory to God. The fact is, that is that your sexuality  belongs to God. So in this session, we help people ourselves included, pray and discern that  your sexuality belongs to God not yourself, even your sexual release is a creation of God.  Think about that, the release itself, how the body functions, how it receives pleasure, is a gift  of God. You are made to be fruitful and multiply. You are hard wired with hormonal support to  express yourself sexually. All of this is beautiful and not shameful. What is shameful is the lust in your heart for a person who is not your spouse. So that's the North Star in all of this, that  our sexuality is a marriage deal. Our sexuality is a one man one woman deal. So what we're  going to talk about are guidelines for holy masturbation. Masturbation that glorifies God.  Bottom line all this it's a masturbation in a marriage narrative. And I'll go one step further in a  marriage reality especially for those who are married if they masturbate in marriage, but think  of it as marriage. masturbate in a marriage narrative. is a one man, one woman marriage  worldview as your cisgender character. Now, I wouldn't Number studying narrative therapy  and I disagree with many of the narrative mirror or the narrative therapy thinking. But one  thing I did agree is that each of us have a stage and the play and the story that we're writing.  We wake up in the morning, and we're a character in our story. And how our mind perceives  being that character is so powerful. That's how we live our lives. We read the Bible out of the  thoughts of the hearts, a person acts in narrative therapy talks about that and what they're  trying to do in narrative therapy is the have you become an active role in your life story, but  the fact is, we narrate our sexuality, what are in our very thoughts. So as we think about  masturbation, the first guideline goes back to this masturbate in a marriage narrative. In the  one man one woman marriage worldview, as your cisgender character. Genesis 1:27, so God  created man in His own image in the image of God He created him male and female, He  created them Hebrews 13:4, a quoted before marriage should be honored all in the marriage  bed kept pure. So the first thing to think about if someone masturbate, so if you masturbate,  or you minister to others, and they will ask him to the question is, masturbate in the marriage 

narrative. Second, second guideline, masturbate in the beauty of male and female identity  and fantasy. Here are some Bible verses and then let's talk about their application. Proverbs  5:13, a loving doe graceful, deer may her breasts satisfy you always. May you ever be  captivated by her love. Song of Songs 1:13, My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh that lies  between my breasts. Song of Songs 7:8-9, I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of  its fruit.” May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath  like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. May the wine go straight to my beloved,  flowing gently over lips and teeth. For a Christian, the difference between male and female is  profound. And God made it that way. For a man to desire a woman sexually is how he was  made. And for a woman to desire a man sexually is how he has been made. Today, because  of the preponderance of pornography and different values and morals in certain Western  countries, the DNA of the sexual imagination is blending, blending into all sorts of fantasies  and there's even songs I kissed the girl and liked it. So it's a song for women who like kissing  girls. And, and in that sexual DNA. When someone is young masturbation plays a role. It's a  sexual plausibility theory that someone has in their brain. And today because of pornography,  and all of that, is the biblical sexual plausibility theory is being challenged. So in the book of  Proverbs, and Song of Songs, we see very clearly that metaphors of male and female and  identity and fantasy are all in that marriage bed and all in that marriage worldview. So the  second guideline, if someone were to masturbate is to say, Okay, how God set it up as male  and female. Next, when someone masturbates to masturbate with learning and development,  learn, learn how to develop a holy view of sexuality while you learn about your own sexuality,  about your body. I'm just gonna mention that pornography and masturbation are twisted  cocktail, Ecclesiastes 1:15. What is twisted cannot be straightened. In four decades of  ministry, I've heard the stories, and many stories of how teenagers masturbated to  pornography and how it changed. They originally were very much oriented toward discovery  and in in their discovery, they saw these narratives and stories. Same sex, and trying various  things, swinging and all of that stuff. And while as young people, they follow those narratives  and stories, that was a story that they started to identify and own with, in their own sexual  development. It was a twisted story. And while many of these young people were going to  church on Sunday, they were masturbating to stories that affected their sexual DNA that  Ecclesiastes was twisted cannot be straightened. That's true without the grace of God and  without the power of the Holy Spirit. Many people have twisted and injured their sexuality at a  young age. I remember. And I shared with this that I was exposed to pornography early on,  and it entered me because I did practice masturbation, after seeing that pornography, the  Lord's spared me, and I was able, by God's grace to pursue different paths. But this is the  issue. So to masturbate, learning, and developing a marriage worldview is healthy and  beneficial. Next, masturbate with thoughts of loving actions? Luke 8:15, but the seed on good  soil stands for those with noble and good hearts who hear the word, retain it, and by  persevere improves the craft Philippians four, verse eight, finally brothers, whatever is true,  whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is  admirable. If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things a lot of times we  think about that passage, in kind of living life and making good choices. That passage is a  beautiful masturbation passage, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever honors God in  terms of masturbation, whatever is in the marriage bed, whatever doesn't look specifically at  one person to lust after him or her, whatever is that which celebrates life and, and celebrate  the potential of children. Whatever brings loving actions, you know, so much in the  pornography world, and in the world in general, is about abuse, about domination, I mean,  even in the history of Greek philosophy, and the Roman Empire and, and all of the references to identity and sexuality. Plato, as mentioned before, in this class, thought of a good horse is 

better than a female. In the end, they also practice abuse on young boys as like a good thing  and we teach them good lessons about life. All of that is not noble. It's not those things that  are connected to biblical sexuality. masturbate with chastity? What does that mean  specifically? Without pornography, without thinking about someone who is not your opposite  sex within a marriage fantasy, Matthew 5:28, but I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman  lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. This is not saying that too, to  read Song of Songs, which is really sexual marriage fantasy is evil. This is to say if you live  next to someone, and you see him or her, you don't story yourself in the bedroom with that  person. This is why pornography is out. Because in pornography use story worry yourself in a  story in a scenario with another person. In a lot of ways, chastity is something that we take  serious we is a boundary, it's a moral boundary, we say that my sexuality is not going there.  And if it does, I repent from that sin, it is a sin. I want no part of that, again, sex therapy. All of  the latest and greatest self help books are saying there's no trouble with that. There's no  shame in that. What we're saying is there's not shame in masturbation, but there are sinful  acts in the mind and we want to keep our minds out of those shameful acts. masturbate with  moderation. I Corinthians 6:12. Everything is permissible for me. But not everything is  beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. II Peter  2:19, the promise and freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity, for a man is a  slave to whatever has mastered him. I believe a lot of Christian authors are negative on  masturbation because of the potential will it become an idol? Will it become something  somebody will pursue instead of marriage? If someone can get their sexual release through  masturbation? Why would we marry? You know, and I see that in the literature. That's why  moderation in masturbation is so important that in the end, we're all about how God designed  it. We're not about finding our film instinctually in a fantasy narrative of marriage, it is finding  our fulfillment with another creation of God and desiring to be completely healed.  Masturbation is a release of sexual tension. It's also a celebration of a marriage worldview,  but it is not physical intimacy, moderation in this allows us to say that, you know, this is not it.  What is it? Is God's design masturbate finding pleasure in God's design? That's right. The  body is good. Pleasure is good. If this passage, Proverbs 10:23, a fool finds pleasure in evil  conduct. But a man of understanding delights, find pleasure in wisdom, conduct. In many  ways, this is again about training. It's about finding pleasure in pleasure is good, but finding it  in the design that God has made in some ways. I have seen so many examples of this  through the years of ministry, how masturbation was a way in which there was an anticipation  for being married. So a single would masturbate and be very careful about not going into  unchastity. Now, some will say that seems like that's difficult to do. Yes, it is. But also difficult  to burn with sexual tension, being tempted with all these various directions, only to fail  constantly. And their DNA gets injured more and more their sexual DNA they become injured  more and more by pornography. So, to have this, God has made sex good and I am part of a  beautiful narrative, and my sexuality is part of God's design is extremely God glorifying in my  opinion. masturbate with Grace without shame. Proverbs 103:2-5, praise the Lord, oh my soul and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases and  redeemed your life from the pen and crowns you with love and compassion and satisfies your  desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like an eagle. I love that passage in  Psalm because you have this concept of forgiveness in there forgive all my sins and in  sexuality. This is one of the big areas that people fall and I don't know about you, but I I have  confessed many times that I have fallen in thought, on the area of sexuality, and even a  person. And I've been married for four decades almost. And there has been times when, you  know, I've lusted after another woman. I've mentioned before that I've seen pornography, all  of those things, but they're all unchastity. They're not what God wants. But God in Jesus 

Christ offers forgiveness sets me free. Forgive, I trespasses. But also we see in that passage  is healed. All my diseases, all your diseases, the injuries that you have had, some of you had  injuries from porn, some of you've had injuries from abuse, God heals those. And even  through the journey of masturbation, that healing can occur. He crowns your life of love and  compassion. That's it. It's about laying down our lives to serve the Lord and to serve others  and our spouse or future spouse satisfies your desires with good things. Even our sexual  desires can be satisfied with good things, keeping us young and fresh. All of that is a  worldview of masturbation that can glorify God. That's what it's all about. masturbate to glorify God. The point of masturbation is not pleasure itself, even though sexual releases  pleasurable, and sexuality. Our sexuality is about glorifying God and His design for creation  for a marriage, for our role in a as a holy image bearer of God. I Timothy 5:6 says, but the  widow who lives for pleasure is dead, even while she lives. That's what our lives are all about. When we think about masturbation, we don't need to cringe. Do we have to be careful, yes. If  someone drinks wine, they better be careful that you do not become an alcoholic. If someone  eats food, be careful that you do not get stuck in gluttony. If someone runs a business, be  careful, you do not get stuck in a neighborhood with grain. If someone is sexual, be careful  that the object of our sexuality the narrative by which we live is the one man one woman,  marriage narrative. celebrate what God has made. God does desire to give us the desires of  our heart he created. Our sexuality is good, it is not evil. The body is good, it is not evil. We  fell into sin. So we take this seriously. We fell into sin and we have boundaries. And we call  those boundaries marriage. In marriage, we say we will only act on our sexuality with our  spouse and our spouse alone. But as sexual beings, we have sexual thoughts. But those  sexual thoughts come under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. I was include by faith, you may not  agree with this understanding of masturbation as holy and I understand that we we may agree to disagree. But I challenge all of us to love what God has created. Marriage, the marriage  bed moderation, where we understand that we can hold back all these expressions effectual  pleasure for we leasing our lives to glorify God and being part of sexual pleasure that he has  created in the marriage bed in the marriage worldview, if we're not married. In this area, is  often suppressed and hidden away and not talked about with young people. But this is an  area that needs to be addressed. We need in this day and age when gender is questioned  like they have a term cisgender is your biological gender. It's not just you were born a male or  born a female. So many people have head cases about what that means today. The biblical  view is that you're ordinarily born as a man, you're ordinarily born as a female. And again,  there are some exceptions biologically because the fall of humanity created some chaos. But  in general, this worldview is to be celebrated with pleasure. And even if someone has done  married, their identity is connected to this worldview. So if someone has lots of hormones,  libido, and so or someone who has least or not as much hormones, this is an area that we  should create shame in instead, celebrate what God has brought to our lives and glorify God  through our sexuality.