Video Transcript: Healing Conversations

I love teaching awaken love classes. And honestly, I've gotten pretty comfortable with the  topics. And I love watching the women's realization that things can be different. But what I've  come to realize is that transformation doesn't come from my teaching, it comes from the  community. Healing happens in community. James 5:16 says, Therefore confess your sins to  each other and pray for each other, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous  person is powerful and effective. And so the most important thing that I do in class just to  create a safe place, for others, to be honest, that judgment free zone where there's no wrong  place to be, you just are where you are. Where there's confidential confidentiality, judgment  free, even as far as facial expressions. I mean, I tell the women or the men, if you want to ask a question, that's great. But if you ask the question with the look of disgust on your face, like,  why would anybody do that? Then even that is judgment. So I want it to be a really safe place where women have permission to wrestle, where they have permission to ask questions  where they have pushed them permission to push back so they can figure out, like, Let's  wrestle and figure out what's right for us. And I don't prescribe things I let them wrestle. I  empower them to minister to each other. Because healing happens in community. I have to  take a humble stance of not having all the answers myself, because I don't, I'm still working  on things myself. And, and I share that with the class. And so I cultivate self awareness. I  cultivate sharing by using the mixer questions, like how did you learn about sex? Or what did  you hear from the church or what lies have we believed from culture. We, I want them to  realize what's impacted them. And we've wrestled together with lives that we all face. One of  the most powerful things that we do during classes have what I call baggage night. And during baggage night, I challenge them to share some of their baggage. It can be as small as they  want, or it can be as big as they want. And it makes me chuckle because I remember one  time, a woman literally brought a suitcase with her because she was ready to unload her  baggage. I challenge them to share about their baggage for several reasons. One, I believe  that healing comes when we confess our sins and pray for each other. And so we do that. But  I also do it because because our people don't believe that God heals sexual baggage. And so our stories of what happened to us. And the transformation happen is part of our testimony.  And imagine if we started sharing these testimonies on a regular basis of how God has  healed us from sexual baggage. People might actually believe that, that they believe and trust in a God that can heal even sexual baggage. And so we need to practice sharing those  testimonies of being healed from sexual baggage. And there's nothing too large. There's  nothing too small. I've had some women bring an entire list, ready to just lay it all out there  and be done. And I'll just, you know, after she shares with the group, the group, you know, just like, so much of it is women relating to what other women share. And then in that instance, I  felt like she knew what she wanted. And so I just gently asked her, you know, what, you ask  God specifically for what you want, and we're gonna be here in agreement. Right. And there  was transformation that took place because of that. I had another woman that shared she got  a crank phone call when she was a little kid didn't even understand what it meant. But her  somehow our mom figure out that it was a dirty phone call. And so a Mom hung up the line  and was upset. And then what she remembers from the incident is when her dad got home  from work? Or moms or women are talking to her crying? She will wonder how can you do  this, you ruined her. And this little girl at the time didn't even realize what the prank phone call  is about. And so sometimes it's even the attitudes. And the reactions of those that love us that are our baggage, right, her feeling like she was ruined. Sometimes the baggage that people  share is about pornography, and, and how they struggled with it. Sometimes the baggage that people share is about masturbation in feeling completely shame, because it's a way to  comfort themselves in the midst of their parents divorce. And so there are all kinds of  baggage by which God works in powerful ways. I remember one where a woman shared that 

she'd been a virgin. She'd been date raped in college when she was overseas doing overseas schooling, and how she had a quite a bit of counseling. And I've been receiving more and  more healing through that. And she just felt like there's more healings needed. And so we  prayed for her. And then all of a sudden, a woman that had already shared, opened up and  said, That's me to the same thing happened to me. And she told her story. And so, God  intersect in the lives of these two women with two very similar stories, and one that was  further along in our journey, and one who had never, ever told another soul. And so the one  woman that was further along in her journey was able to minister to this woman that was not  as far along. The same thing has happened in men's classes I had guys share, how did you  learn about sex? And pretty soon, one man open up? Actually, no, I don't have the typical men story. He said. He said, I was sexually abused as a kid. And so sex for me is the real struggle. And what do you know, if three men later, a man opens up but the same story. And so God  connected those white lives, and when it can minister to them, and even just for them that  you're not feel alone, like, I'm the only one this has ever happened to me that part of the  power of sharing our stories, and our group is to know, I'm not the only one that struggles, I'm  not the only one that feels this way, I'm not the only one that has that has wounds from when I was a kid. I'm not the only one that needs healing. And to see people further along in the  journey that have experienced healing, that encourage them given give them hope. You know, what things can be different? God can heal me on baggage night I used to worry, what if I  can't handle what comes up? What if I don't know what to how to one up? I don't know what  to do? What if I can't fix it for them? And I've come to learn, come to, even though I knew my  hand before, like, I know. I can't fix it. I can't make it better. I'm not going to know all the  answers. Every time God has provided, and sometimes it's through another woman  ministering in the group. Sometimes it's God speaking through me. Sometimes, all you can do is say, can I pray for you? And that's an answer. And so, I just encourage you. I know it's a  crazy idea to expect that people are going to open up about sex and a group of fellow  Christians. But when you provide a great when you provide the right environment,  environment that is safe. People are eager to open up, to be honest, to be real, to go after  healing. People need to know that God is a God that heals. People need to see God's people  extending grace and mercy and compassion. We need to be able to hold other people's  stories without having all the answers. So look for opportunities to create communities for  healing that do that