Video Transcript: Life in the Fishbowl

I'm a pastor, I raised children in the pastorate. And there's like this certain thing I've heard over time, you know, the PK kids and they're, you know, more wild and all those other things like that. And in we've all heard stories of pastors, children, not knowing the Lord. On the other hand, my own experience and the experience of so many pastors that I have met, is that life in the fishbowl is not that bad at all. In fact, it can be a blessing, it can be a blessing for your children, where they see real life ministry. Now, I will tell you that if you are not living the faith, and the life and the fishbowl, it's just a funny font, or you live for Christ because you know, you're in the fishbowl and you gotta like, look the part and you are not the part, then life in the fishbowl is terrible. It's a game, it's all a show, and it's a flash in the pan. The reality is, life in the fishbowl for a family in ministry can be a real blessing. And today in this presentation, we're going to talk about the dynamics that make life in the fishbowl a blessing. Now, before we even talk about the family, the first person to talk about is yourself, myself, the pastor.

The apostle Paul says to Timothy, watch your life and doctrine closely, persevere in them because if you do, you will say both yourself and your hero's the first person the fishbowl is yourself and the way the Apostle Paul puts it is watch yourself. Watch how you swim in that fishbowl. Watch your doctrine that you are still in Christ, persevere. It, part is like being self aware, staying above yourself and watching yourself and saying my soul my actions who I am. I'm in my own little fishbowl and I can watch that and see who am I? What am I about? So the first person in the fishbowl is you, don't talk about how your children behave. Don't talk about your wife, you who are you. And if for real you are a person who loves Christ with teachable, who wants to grow your process of change. He who began a good work in us says in Philippians will bring it to completion in Jesus Christ. If that is you. Welcome the fishbowl. Don't see that as a negative I see it as an opportunity. What do the fish look like? Okay. So, the reality is this there has been a fishbowl already, who you are is already out there. And if even before you were in the pastorate, what does the fishbowl look like currently, the Apostle Paul, when in talking to Timothy says, I've been reminded of your sincere faith which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and I am persuaded now lives in you also, is the fishbowl that you currently swim in as a person, any person considering ministry, that which is attractive to the Lord. Now, I want to be careful here, you know, no one is perfect and no life is perfect. And you are challenged with all sorts of different things. I'm just raising the question, what is the fishbowl look like now, if in your life, the reality of your life is that it lives far away from the passion of serving Christ and the practice in that life, the sincere faith. This would be a problem because of, you look at your life and you wonder on  whether or not it's serving the Lord in ministry in terms of who you are at your heart and who the people in your life are. That would be a very negative about serving in ministry. Are there fish in your bowl who are swimming for Christ already? 

Now here's the positive reality about pastors. In a lot of ways you were reached. You're like Fish, you are reached once for the gospel, but you the fish, who are reached, whether it was reaching their family, whether you came to Christ now, you become the fisherman. So the person in the fish bowl, so you're a rich person, your life is a rich person. People see your life and how your character is. They see your family, you as a fish, become the fisherman, Jesus says, I will make you fishers of men. So take responsibility in own this. The apostle Paul encouraged Timothy on this. For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God which was in use for the laying out of my hands, For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power of love and itself discipline. This passage is in the passage where the apostle Paul is talking about his grandmother and his mother, and say look, as fish. I want you to be the fisher of men to go out there and reach and take responsibility for as a fish becoming a fisherman. So how do you do that? Well, part of it is, as you walk with the Lord, it is a real, transparent walk that people can look at your life. And your life illustrates the character transfer transformation that comes by Christ. And even what happens in your life, your struggles, your trials, like the Apostle Paul says in 2 Timothy 1:12, a little bit later from the last passage I read, this is why I am suffering as I am, yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have the lead and make convinced that he is able to God what I have entrusted to him for that day. What you have is the Apostle Paul is illustrating transparency to Timothy, and who he is and what he's about. Even later in 2 Corinthians 4:6-7, for I am already being poured out like a drink offering the time has come for my departure, I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. What you see in the Apostle Paul is his life is what he's sharing the struggles but the joys, who he is. And there's an element of transparency that comes through in the fishbowl. And that's a positive, what God does in my life, he gets all the glory for it of my life consistently lives. The Gospel, why not have that be shared? In a lot of ways, our life is a testimony. You know, we have sermons, to give and preach as pastors in we have teachings together as leaders. But underneath all of the hubbub, in all of the teaching, and all the preaching is what's real. And what is real, is not real. All the hubbub, and all the teaching, everything that you can talk about on Sunday, I don't care how intellectual the message might be in terms of being biblical in knowledge. What's in the heart, what's in the walk is the foundation of your pasture. And in the end of the day, that is what people notice. You're going to be in the fishbowl. And if you're phony baloney in the fishbowl, people will see the truth. And you want that we did not want to be pastors, 

You know, years and years and years ago, I was involved in a network marketing business. And it's just interesting to me. I was younger in my 20s and early 30s at this time, and I got distributors and all these are things so fun. And in that process one time somebody had come over to our house for some type of a party. And it was interesting. The lady snuck off, walked into our kitchen and my wife caught her opening our cupboards. What was that about? So my wife said Excuse me, can I help you? And she said I liked your presentation. I liked your enthusiasm. But I wanted to see that the products that you were selling were in your own cupboard at the end of the day that's what being a pastor is about. If, if it's not in our cupboards, there are problems you will ever know all about my teaching. This is the Apostle Paul. He opened his cupboards to Timothy, my way of life, my purpose faith, patients love endurance, persecution, sufferings, what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch Iconium Lystra, the persecutions I endured, yet the Lord rescued me from them all. Now, again, I want to get a caution that every kid turns out the way that kid was brought up to turn out.Who a child might marry changes one of your children, and they go down a different path, and in yet God, it may bring them back. And right now, it's frustrating. Maybe you're a new Christian in some of that consequences of how you live and how you acted in the past are having repercussions now. Your cover is where you are. Your cover is what you stand for your covered is your heart, I understand all that. And even the down things, they can all be used to glorify God. So I'm not trying to say that we are bringing some Utopia view to the world, we are truly about walking with Christ. And that transparency that follows because at the end of the day, people will see what's real. 

Seen faith and action is very important. As for you continue what in what you have learned and have become convinced of because you know those from whom you've learned it. You know, as people go to our churches, it's our real life that they learn from as much as the message that we talk about. Now, I'm going to talk about how to thrive now in this fishbowl of ministry. And it's going to review some of the things we've talked about just before but just so that you can kind of get your mind and heart around it. 

Number one, your life in doctrine are important. Remember, watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them. Grow with the Lord be a teachable spirit with what Christ is doing in your life. We received him and he's he's growing in you grow in him? And also watch your doctrine. Are you biblical? Are you stay in the biblical? Are you not drifting away from God's word, very important, because if that rudder in your own life is hurting, it will have an effect to the whole congregation. 

Number two, your family will be in the fishbowl. Be self aware about this. You, sometimes you gotta get a thick skin. And teach your family to get one too, without teach your family cynicism. You know, like, oh, man, everybody's always watching us. And everything you do is about being watched. No, it's, it's allowing each of them to grow as God is leading in their life. And, and they will do because your children will be centers and your wife and you are centers, there will be times when you do something that will create the wrong message, that all will be part of it. And you can either take that as being a burden, oh, if we weren't in the fishbowl, I could get away with that. And I don't like being in the fishbowl or taking the other way. You know, thank God, that you're in a place where people notice your walk. And you can sort of live and in figure out that it's, it's a wonderful journey as a pastor to figure out what is appropriate criticism and what is not. And how do you get your voice and who you are. I'll give an example. I have a daughter who's a writer, she writes books, very creative loves the Lord. She writes fantasy books like CS Lewis type of books, and with all these interesting characters and, and, you know, maybe someday I'll read one of her books. And as a pastor, sometimes not every Christian out there believes in the Christian should look at fantasy and stuff like that. And she loves the Lord. She's, you know, out of my house. She's serving the Lord and but you see, there's those, then dynamics. She has to live her life before the Lord. My wife, and I believe we raised her well, she loves God, she writes with a Christian worldview. But yet, we're still in the fishbowl and in all of these things, so sometimes we have to have the discernment to not worry about every critique. We don't have to be on edge or on pins and needles, because we're in the pastorate. And yet, we have to take it very seriously. that we're in the fishbowl. Watch out for the trophy mentality. And that is you as a pastor in your, in your spouse, we are raising perfect kids to show off the perfect walk we have in our perfect home. No

You're gonna have real kids in a real family to thrive in the fishbowl confidentiality is very important that you are careful what you say out loud, with children present. And even careful what you say to your wife, if it's something not appropriate to say confidentiality is to be honored boundaries, you know, to have family time to have days off and and in another class, we talked in depth about boundaries. But I guess how to thrive in in terms of your family is sees the advantage of being in fishbowl and don't let it get under your skin. Let's talk about your message and the fishbowl. When you put your family on stage, it's going to happen like you know your sermons. And then perhaps some practicality of your sermons and your family life come together. Be very careful about this. Only do it with gentleness and respect. And somehow know each child like I have one child, her name is Anne. And she would be mortified if I mentioned her name in any way, shape, or form upfront, fine. We have other kids who just are sort of more outgoing and it's fun. But even if you dare to mention your children's name, or your wife's name, they could be part of what Christ is doing in their life. And get permission ahead of time talk ahead of time, you know, have a relationship. In some families, maybe you're not going to do it at all. I'm not suggesting that you do it. I'm not suggesting you not do it. I'm just saying, Be sensitive, when you will utilize your family as illustrations or talk about in general, in a message or any public of that. Be careful. But depending on your families, depend on person, I know some pastors who never include their families name or anything from their family in any way. And I know pastors that do it like every week. You know, I would say I do it sometimes, but not all the time. And that is your choice as a pastor in your preferal direction, your personality and the connection of your family. But do so with honor and respect to each person in your family. 

Here's another thing about the fishbowl is a lot of times people called the ministry lonely you really can't have friends in the ministry. But really do understand the nature of people dynamics. And in sometimes what can feel like a friendship is getting caught up in the politics of the church. And be careful about that. But here's even with the caution, understand, you can have real friends in your church. You in understand if someone has a lack of character motivation, or if you do, I mean those things won't end very well. But in general, you can have friends in your church, but you know, understand good boundaries and don't allow friendships to get caught up in the politics of a local church. And what I mean by politics is that some or other someone's talking to someone so it'd be their friends that are closer to the pastor. So they get this got this kind of style and talking about that is Junior High type of stuff. But it can come in the life in the fishbowl. But with sincerity and prayer and good boundaries, those things didn't, will be very minimal. And when you see them, you will address them. You know, I just want to conclude by saying this as a fish. You're called to be fishers of men. As Jesus said, Matthew4:19. Come follow me, Jesus said, and I will make you fishers of men, on it, enjoy it. Rest, reach others. It's not the end of the world to be in the fishbowl. This is something that God has is put on your life if you're called into ministry, and it's something they can even look at with disdain or you can look at with an opportunity to serve him better. And you know what my experience even with the children is they do well if you're living it and you're living in your home practicing home discipleship in a balanced way and and you know, what I mean by that is the children see that you love the Lord and they see that you love God's word and and you're investing in these show. They do just fine even in the fishbowl. So I want to congratulate you again for for daring to think about giving leadership. When you know that you will be in the fishbowl but guess what fish go ahead and become fishers of men.