Slides: How Does Semi-Directive Coaching Work?

Three things coaches do: 

1. Help the client figure out what they want to do (decision) 

2. Help the client figure out how to do what they want to do (plan) 

3. Help the client do what they plan to do (management)

Helping the client figure out what they want to do (decision)

In Semi-Directive coaching, this has already been decided by the coach (i.e. what he/she is offering or by the client who is coming to a particular coach because her/she is an expert in particular skill.

- For example:

As a coach I might be interested in offering a class on parenting, marriage, or communication. The client would then take my class because this is an area that he/she is looking to improve in.

- For example:

Or as a client I may seek out a specific coach because that coach is an expert in a specific area that I am interested in being coached.

The Directive part - Attitudes

- “I am somebody” attitude 

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous‑‑ and how well I know it." (Psalms 139:13,14) 

- “I am needed” attitude 

"Now here is what I am trying to say: All of you together are the one body of Christ, and each one of you is a separate and necessary part of it." (1 Corinthians 12:27) 

- “I can do it” attitude 

"If you can?" said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.” (Mark 9:23)

- “I am not the center” attitude 

"Then he (Jesus) said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. not turn from it." (Luke 9:23) 

The Directive Part - Skills

- The Skill of Self-discipline 

"Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways." (Proverbs 20:3)

- The Skill of Communication 

"And now a word to you parents. Don't keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord himself approves, with suggestions and godly advice." (Ephesians 6:4)

- The Skill of Responsibility 

"For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.” (2 Thessalonians 3:10) 

- The Skill of Judgment 

"The man who knows right from wrong and has good judgment and common sense is happier than the man who is immensely rich! For such wisdom is far more valuable than precious jewels. Nothing else compares with it." (Proverbs 3:13) 

Mixing in the Non-Directive

 One way to add a little non-directive into a teaching situation is to ask a lot of questions.

For example:

“I am somebody” attitude –  "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous‑‑ and how well I know it." (Psalms 139:13,14)

1. How does Psalm 139 relate to parenting?
2. What did your parents do to make you feel like you were somebody?
3. What are you positively doing right now to give your kids a sense of self-worth?
4. What are you doing or not doing that hurts your kid's self-worth?

For example:

You can just download a bunch of information (totally directive) or you can get your clients to be a part of the information, part of the semi-directive coaching.