Video Transcript: Real Life Example 2

All right, welcome to session number two. Here, we're going to talk about how a  couple is connected playfully. And I have a little fill in the blank there a couple of  that blank together, blank together. How would they, and they rhyme. And it  relates to playful. Couples that play together stay together. The original phrases, the original phrase, I know that there's, I've heard the couples that pray together  stay together. Right? Right. And that naturally tune we talked about the spiritual  section. I know at least in the United States, the divorce rate is something like  45% of marriages end in divorce. And, and sadly, the divorce rate among  Christians is about the same. Except for those that had the habit of praying and  reading the Bible together, then the divorce rate goes to .05%. So I have to  present so that so that's really true. A couple that does pray together, stays  together. But I think it's also true that a couple that plays together, stays  together, Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 Go eat your food with gladness and drink your  wine with a joyful heart. For God has already approved what you do. Always be  clothed in white and always anoint your head with oil, enjoy life with your wife,  whom you love, all the days of the meaningless life that God has given you  under the sun, all your meaningless days for this is your lot in life and life and  your toilsome labor under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do with all  your might. For in the realm of the death where you are going there is neither  working nor planning nor knowledge, nobody's negativity, but in the middle of it,  enjoy life with your wife who you love. So what I want you guys to do is there's  there's nine questions that I'd like you to just jot something down so just take a  few minutes and just you know, just you know, whatever comes to you don't  have to be complete sentences. Quit something so these nine things will come  back when they're done all right, we're back. You guys spent maybe 10-15  minutes writing your answers. So the first one is his interests Why don't we  compare notes here? Oh, well yes. Yeah, guitar under the cameras I didn't put  that yeah, like I just put like a lot of the things that like because I didn't realize  there was gonna be a shared interest section so I put a lot of the things that like  even we do together so I was just like course I put your first answer being with  me interest and I put golf, going to the gym doing like stuff the CLI movies  spending time of course with family and then also friends after that baths  because you love taking baths and video games and just like games in general I love playing beanbags and board games and game four and all those things but  I said I love playing the guitar that's a huge interest of mine. I love being out in  nature so like when I get a kayak canoe, camping hiking, I love movies but that's kind of a shared interest on and then in general I love like listening to worship  music and stuff that's how I spent a lot of time just putting that on when I'm out  so for me. What about Abby's interests. For Abby I did you you like running and  walking a lot which I am not like the biggest fan of like I'm like the treadmill part  of the gym so I put like an agenda for you but I don't and then I'm just hanging  out with friends and then you love going out to eat and I noticed that when I first 

got with you like I went out to eat maybe two or three times a year and then like  every week go out so I put that out as an interest because I know you love doing that and then you have rally which is a dog training class which Yeah, I just put  for me like being with you family and friends. CLI is a huge interest. Everything I  do here rally the gym golf board games and movies. Together. Together I wrote I know we love going to the gym we try to go 1-2 times a week so that's a hobby  that we spend together the beach is a big interest of ours too movies, I kind of  dropped back down to shared interest because we love watching movies. I know we both like singing We both like golf too. So yeah, basically I wrote the same  ones.how does the theory of opposites attract? hinder your playing together?  Um, I would say not too much. I'm like, I feel like maybe like, I don't know why  I'm thinking like, I feel like you do like working out a lot more than I do. And so  like, like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like even sometimes like I feel like  you'll Want to do maybe like outdoors or golfing more than I would want to? And  I'm just going around them. And I'd rather look at play games, like I love games  like I use an answer that I kind of piggyback throughout a couple more of my  answers down the road. But the answer I said was that Abby, you tend to be  more and this was kind of like the precedent when we first got with each other it  was you tend to be more a little bit more extroverted than I am, I'm a little bit  more introverted. And so where it hinders us sometimes is, there'll be times  where it's like, you'll come over to my family in my house, and then you'll want to hang out with my family, but I want to go on a walk with you or do something  with you just one on one and then spend time with you. And it's like, oh, no, I  want to be with your family. I want to spend time with others. And the fifth one,  social messaging different, like I'm more like, if there's other people around, like, I feel like compelled to hang out with everyone, like I have a hard time just  excluding myself one person. I mean, obviously do that. Still, it's like, easy for  me. But yeah, to kind of be around everybody else, like sometimes that can  hinder our play time. Number five, how could the fact that opposites attract help  you both explore new things? Yeah, so that's where I put like, I feel like because  like, I'm maybe like, being more social, like, I feel like that will get you out of your comfort zone. And like, for me sometimes, like, you know, might make me  explore like, various like, one on one activities too, like I would have maybe not  gone if I was just being super social. So I think like both helps me be more  active. It's exactly what I said, Yeah, Abby tends to be more social, which is like  led me to more parties hanging out with friends and stuff. And then I've kind of  showed you like, beauty and one on one dates and stuff, like going to the beach  and stuff, too and stuff. So you sort of answered number six already. Number  seven, why do married? Why do many couples play well together in the dating  phase, but not as well, in the married for many years phase? I just said it's easy  for people to get used to each other, kind of the idea that something new  becomes old and stagnant. So I said, couples like that tended not keep things 

new and do anything new, it just kind of it's same old, same old. And I put like,  like this really stop making time for each other. Because when you're like first in  together, like I feel like a lot of people like overdose on spending time with each  other, like, all testing time with each other. Once life kind of sets in and work and children and all these things, they just start getting different interests and making time for only certain things and not each other. You're in the dating phase, you're motivated, enthusiastic, and then you're more willing to do things that you  wouldn't otherwise do is just being together. And what we're doing is secondary,  but over time, what you're doing becomes primary, like I'm with you all the time  or at some value, I felt like being together goes down. Alright, number eight,  what kinds of things are you doing now that you think you will do many years  down the road as a married couple? Okay, so for me, I feel like this is a really  CLI but like, talking and listening repeatedly, like I really, really see us continuing to do that. And again, like I think the importance of reading the Bible and praying together down the road is really important. And then more on activities. I feel like we will play golf, go to the gym, do board games and watch movie and of course spend time with family and friends together down the road. Yeah, I just said, I  said read the Bible because we tend to do that every night will video chat or  FaceTime. Or then we actually will be living in the same house at the moment,  but I think always be reading the Bible together every night. And then same  thing with praying every night before we go to bed together. And I did say the  gym too, or just in general fitness. All right, any Bible passages that you can  think of that relate to this subject? Okay, so I did have like, I don't even know the exact verse for like and I just think is like feature. It's always because I feel like  spending time together playing that makes me think of joy. You know, like that's  kind of the point of playing is having fun. So be joyful always will continue in our  playing together as we're going in this journey of marriage. My answers to  huddle counterintuitive, it's kind of like the opposite. But it's the same principle.  So the idea of couples that play together and stay together, I thought of it I'm  pretty sure it's in Proverbs, that verse where it talks about people who hang  around with fools will be comfortable. I feel like that verse really shows the social impact that it has about spending time with people where you adapt to the  personality of the people you hang around with. And so that that in a way shows  the importance of the opposite where it's time to go will grow, right and not be  comfortable for the right. Yeah, even even though it's play time with the right  kind of person, right, makes you into who you are. Exactly. So the next section is really, you know, if you did more of it in a group, it asked similar questions, but  people would sort of share amongst themselves. And that's kind of interesting  thing too, because, you know, you guys share a lot of interests, but there might  be another couple that doesn't, and you just get a different flavor. And that  becomes interesting thing. And then I think, too what happens in a group is,  people hear what others are doing, and they start writing, you know, we could 

maybe do that, too, all of a sudden, they have ideas, they could do that together. So what I like to do at the end of sessions is just this little thing on the bottom of  page 18, they're praying together. And the reason I put this in here, now, you  know, you guys say you're doing devotions, and you know, even when you're  not living in the same place, but a lot of couples don't do any devotions. And in  fact, that's really intimidating. It's really weird that, that a couple can be very  intimate. The most intimate relationship they have, especially when they get  married, and yet, if you ask them to sit down and pray together, they'd be very,  like, this is too intimate. Which is weird. But if they haven't heard done it before,  it's, it's hard. So what I like to do in this material is to just help a couple start  doing that. But the words are all written up to read. So it's not like, you know,  figure out what to do. So let's do this together. So together, then you would read  that together, then the man you would you would read that, you know, thank  you, God for Abby, and so on. So just, let's follow this together. Right, so start  together. Thank you for bringing us together. I think you go for Abigail for her  passion for the things she likes to do. I confess I have not always taken an  interest in her interest. I think you've God for Mitchell for his passion and the  things he likes to do. I confess that I have not always taken an interest in his  interest. Help us Lord to spend time together in playful, fun, enjoyable activities  that we can share together. Alright, excellent. I will see you again for the third  session.