Video Transcript: Communication Objective - Challenge

All right. So we have moved into the section of this course, where I'm dealing  with the objectives of communication we've dealt with, you know, the ways to  communicate with your hands and your voice, by telling stories as illustrations,  outline all these different ways of actually communicating. But now we have  moved into a section where I'm talking about the purpose of communication, we  have the means of doing it. And now we want to talk about the purposes of  communication. And the first one that we're going to talk about is challenge.  How do you challenge someone to do something? What is challenging  communication? Communication designed to motivate someone to do  something negative challenging, I want to start off with the negative number one  challenging with a critical bite. So sometimes people will challenge they'll  communicate a challenge. But what they really want to do is say something  negative, they want to criticize someone that is not the best way to challenge. I'll give you an example. I remember preaching a sermon, I forget what it was  about. But after the service in front of a bunch of people, one of my parishioners, a lady came up to me and said, I have a book for you a book that I read on the  topic that you preached on. And my guess is you'll want to redo that whole  sermon, if you read this book. So she was on the one hand, she was trying to  say, you know, when she started out, well, that was a great sermon, but you  might want to redo it after I gave you this book. So it was a sort of a compliment. But what we she was really saying is your sermon was lacking. And I have the  answer that would fix it. So it sounded like an encouragement. But it really was a cut down. So sometimes we challenge people, but it has this negative bite to it.  Number two, challenging as a projection of one's own deficiencies. A lot of  parents will do this, they'll challenge their children to do things, especially the  things that they have failed at in life. So I'm going to give you these things are  sometimes pastoral pastors will do that with their staff or business owners will do that with their employees challenge everyone else to do something that they  haven't been able to do. Number three, challenging without encouragement.  One of the love languages that works with me, is challenge. I like a challenge. I  like a challenge in sports. I like a challenge in almost in almost any endeavor of  life. I don't like getting gifts. And you know, I don't need a lot of words. The  encouraging thing for me is when someone challenges me, now my father was a great challenger. He was challenging us all the time. I grew up in the city I lived  in the city only knew the city. But when I was 15 years old, my dad took our  family and we moved out to the country, we moved out to a farm. So one day,  I'm in the city. Next day, I'm on a farm with cows. And what my dad did is he  showed my brother and I, who was a year younger than I am, he showed us  how to milk the cows. And then the next day he was off to work. So he  challenged us he gave us real responsibility 10s of 1000s of dollars worth that  we could mess up, but he would hand those things to us. So he was great on  challenging, but he was short on encouraging. So he would challenge us. But he

can do it without encouragement. He would not say I think you can do it. He  wouldn't help us do it. He wouldn't teach us what we should do. He'd show us  one time and then he'd walk away. Challenging with no recognition and  celebration of progress. He wasn't very good at that either. And the reason he  wasn't really I mean, I understand it. Now he wasn't very good at it because his  father never did anything with him and never taught him anything. So my father  didn't know how to teach us. My father had to learn everything on his own. If he  wanted to do something, he had to learn it and do it on his own. Now he was  better than my grandfather. But he still didn't know how to help us. He knew how to get the challenge out. But he didn't know how to help us. And a lot of leaders  have this problem. They want to challenge people, they want to tell people, this  is the thing that we need to do. But they don't know how to encourage them and  recognize the process. When you see a toddler learning how to walk, you know,  they get up and then they fall, they don't get it right away. You have to be  encouraging. You're challenging them, you have your arms reaching out, yeah,  you can walk, keep coming this way. But they fail more times than they succeed, it takes a while, there's a process of learning something. So when you  challenge, don't just challenge, but actually help people and, and realize that it's  a step by step process. Positive, challenging. Number one, challenging, plus  believing in the person's ability to meet the challenge. Challenge someone,  sometimes we challenge people to do something, and we know that they can't  do it, and all we want them to do is fail. We're trying to show how inept that they  are. Challenge, and then believe that they can do it. Challenge and your believe  that your kids actually can succeed. Instead of always criticizing and putting  them down, you kids never do anything, right. A lot of leaders like that they treat  everyone around them, like they can't do anything. And then they wonder why  they don't try. Believe that they can do something even though it may be a  process, even though they may fail on the way to success, believe that they will  get there. Challenging plus encouraging the person in the process, encourage  along the way. Everything that we do in life is a process. I didn't get to be a  speaker in front of you just by descending from somewhere. It was a process. I  learned it over time. And I had encouraging people along the way, I had people  encouraged me when I was a disaster when I didn't do very well at all. But they  found one thing. You know that story you told in the middle of your sermon that  really spoke to me. Now they could have said the rest of the sermon was  confusing. And your points didn't match up. And I couldn't follow what you were  saying. Because they could have said that, because it was true. But no, they  picked out that one thing that I did, right. And then I felt like maybe I can do this.  And over time, I learned how to do it better and better. Positive challenging.  Number three, challenging plus support in the success of the challenge. Don't  just challenge people to watch them fail. But support them in the process believe that they can do it and lift them up. Number four challenging plus reassurance 

that your relationship is not based on them succeeding in the challenge, this is  probably the most important. The downside of being a challenging person.  That's it, you know, I like to challenge I like to get challenges. You know, my  father was a great challenger, he challenged and I've, you know, succeeded at a lot of things because he was a pusher. And he challenged, and he challenged,  and he challenged, and that fit my personality. But sometimes it doesn't fit a  person's personality. And it's very easy for the one being challenged to start  thinking that I am loved or I am accepted. If I succeed at the challenge. You  know, the person like my personality, we love a challenge. And therefore we  don't mind failing a lot. I don't mind failing a lot. When I try new sports. I assume  I'm going to fail. Of course, I'm just learning that others will not try anything new,  because they don't like that feeling of failure. So, when you're challenging  someone if you have that challenging personality and you're you're trying to  motivate people through this challenge, you're trying to motivate them to do  something and you challenge them and challenge them. Be careful of whom  you're challenging because they might get the impression that your love for  them or your care for them is based on how well they do in the challenge. This is hugely destructive in families, parents, challenging their children to do well at  school or to do well on a sport or do well in some arena of life. And kids often  mistakenly think that if they fail in the challenge, then parents won't love them. In other words, that love is based on work, and not grace. Sometimes we project  this on God too, because Job God challenges us to, when you read the pages of the Bible, you get all this challenge, be holy, as I'm holy, you know, make  disciples of all nations you go on and on and on, for the Bible is very, very  challenging. And so a lot of people mistakenly think that God's love for them is  based on how well they succeed in the challenge. Challenge and love are two  separate things. God challenges us, because He wants the best for us. But if we fail, we can start again. We can we can, we can try again. Positive, challenging  words. I believe that you can do this. So in my congregation, you know, a lot of  times my sermons at the end have some kind of challenge. So because of God's love, because God forgives us, we now need to forgive those around us. So  that's a challenge. And I think you can do it. I think there's that person. There's  that person that has hurt you. There's that person that has mistreated you that  there's this person that has been unfair with you, maybe it's your boss, maybe  it's your spouse, maybe it's your kids. Maybe it's your parents, I don't know. But I believe that you can forgive them. I believe that you can go to them and say  those words. So if you believe in people, and you communicate that you believe  in someone, they're more likely to do it. What do you have to lose? What do you  have to lose? Why not try this thing? I'll often use that from the pulpit? What do  you have to lose? Some people, except a marriage situation, that is nothing but  brokenness, and then they sort of coexist together, and they go, Well, it probably won't get any better. And they don't want to believe it can get any better because

they've been disappointed in the past. What do you have to lose? Try believe?  What do you really have to lose? Yeah, it could fail. It's failed in the past. That's  the worst that can happen. A little failure. Number three, give it a try. Why not?  

Give it a try. Now, if you challenge people, and you have this high expectation  that they're going to succeed, incredibly, and there's no room for failure, then  people won't try. But if you allow people to fail, look, give it a try. You might not  succeed the first time, but at least give it a try. This is an acquired taste. There's  a fruit in Asia, it's called durian. And Asians will say, it smells like hell, but tastes  like heaven. And it smells like a cat did something and it's a horrible smell. They  don't allow it in hotels. And I remember someone first giving it to me in Asia.  Here's this fruit that smells horrible. And of course, I don't want to try this. Give it a try. He says, so I tried it. And it tastes like hell too. And it smells that way. And  it tastes that way too. But they said you have to keep trying, You have to keep  trying. So I did. I just kept trying. It was horrible. I kept trying. It was horrible. I  kept trying. It was horrible. I kept trying and now I love it. Try it. The most  important ingredient of a challenge is vision. A lot of times people will challenge  people to do something, but they won't tell them why. My father always thought  we should clean up the barn or clean up the garage, you see that? It's a mess.  You should just want to do that. Why? Why should I want to do this? How am I  connected to this thing? What's the purpose of this? He never shared the whole  vision for the whole farm what what are we doing here? And what's my part?  What's my role? How do I fit into the future of this thing? Is this my business?  This is your business my hired hand how do I fit into this? People need to know  why. At churches, I hear you're at a church, and then they make a bunch of  announcements. And we need this. We need teachers. We don't have enough  teachers for our kids programs, and they just go down the list of all the needs  and challenge, we need this thing. We need that, but why do we need teachers? We need teachers, because we have all these children. And some of these  children come to our church, and their parents don't come to our church. And  this is the only thing that they will learn about the Bible and God's plan for them.  This is their only shot. And they're here. And we don't have anyone that is willing to help them. See, I need to know why. That sort of vision is a vision, as always,  why are we doing this thing? Why do you need my help? I need to know the why of something. And now I can get motivated. So that's step one, you have to  share the vision, what needs doing, why it needs to be done, who is best to do  it? See, we need this thing. And you I see the talent that you have, and we need  you. We need you to do this. I'm starting a preaching class at my church. And  I've identified five people that I want to start preaching and I came to them, I  said, we need younger people preaching. I'm an old guy of 62, we need some,  we need something young up there representing the young. And this is what I  see in you. I see a potential in you. And I just went down the list. I talked to each one of those. They said you have you have a way of saying things, you have a 

passion for God. And I just went down the list of the things that I saw in them  that made them the specific one that is qualified to do this thing. I'm giving them  a vision of what could be so that they accept the challenge. Okay, what needs  doing, why it needs to be done, who is best to do it and how it might be done,  okay, here's how we're going to do this. This is how we're, this is I'm going to  help you in this process of preaching. Here's, here's the things that we're going  to do. Here's when we're going to meet. When could it be accomplished? My  goal is in six months that you are giving a sermon in our church. Alright, second  most important ingredient of a challenge is reward. What's in it for the people  that I'm challenging? So that's the you know, that was my problem with my dad,  my dad wanted us to just see all the work that needed to be done on the farm  and just do it. But I didn't know what the reward was. It's not my business? I'm  not making any money at this. You know, he was paying me an hourly wage. I  didn't know what the process was, I didn't know how the money comes or how  much things get sold for how much is the price of milk? And I did. I don't know  what the profit law? I don't know any. I don't understand any of this. It's not my  business. You want me to? You want me to own it? And to care for it? Like it was my business? Well, then you have to make it that way. How? How am I part of  the reward of this whole thing? So when you challenge people, they need to  know, what's in it for them. You know, if I challenge people that you know, in  terms of parenting, this is, this is how you need to be a parent, you need a  parent that that gives kids responsibility that teaches kids discipline, okay, what's in it for the parent? What's in it for you is if you do that is you get these kids that  actually can accomplish things. Kids that go off and make things happen and  you don't have to worry about them. That's what's in it for you. That's your  reward. There's always some kind of reward. Joshua 1:7, God says, Be strong  and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law My servant Moses gave you do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. I want you to follow my laws as a challenge. It'd be tough. But if you do,  you will be a success wherever you go. There's a reason why I'm challenging  you in this thing. third most important ingredient just out of reach just out of  reach. When you challenge someone, you need to challenge them with a thing  that is just beyond their reach. If it's within their reach, it's not much of a  challenge. And what's interesting is, if it's too small of a challenge, if it's too  weak of a challenge, people aren't motivated. People aren't motivated. It has to  be enough of out of reach has to be a big enough challenge, or people don't  care. They don't get excited about a challenge. That's really easy to do. Luke  1:5, 7 In the time of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zack  Zechariah, who belong to the priestly division of Abijah. His wife, Elizabeth was  also a descendant of Aaron. But they were childless because Elizabeth was not  able to conceive, and they were both very old. God comes to these two people,  they've been waiting for a child all their life, you can imagine. They get married, 

they're excited, they're young, they're going to have a child one day, they're  going to start a family, but then nothing happens. So they pray, they pray to God. And nothing happens. Every year, they pray, they pray, and nothing happens.  Year after year, after year goes by soon, it says that they were old. Soon, you  get to the point where you're not praying anymore. This is too big of a challenge. And that's when God answers the prayer. And he comes and says you will have  a child his name will be John, and he will be the forerunner to the Christ, to the  Messiah. Often God puts things just beyond us. And he finally comes through  when we're about to quit. See, that's a challenge that keeps you going forward.  Share challenging quotes. So if you're giving a speech, and you're trying to  challenge people, one good way to challenge people is to give them examples  of other people's challenges. So here's Francis Chan, our greatest fear should  not be a failure. But of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter. Or  Thomas Edison, many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close  they were to success when they gave up. So what is it what? What is that  challenging people? It's challenging people not to give up. Maybe you feel like  giving up in some area of your life, your marriage or family, maybe Christian  leaders Institute, maybe this course. You took the last test and didn't go very  well. Some of the questions weren't very good. Sorry about that. By the way. It's  hard to write multiple choice questions. Not always easy. Don't always get it  right. So anyway, you've, you've failed, and it's like, you feel like quitting. But  any, if you just power through power through those times, and you feel like  quitting, or ask God or get support from somebody, you can just get by that. All  of a sudden, it's free sailing after that. That's often true in life. Here's a quote  from Thomas Watson. Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It's  quite simple, really double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the  enemy of success, but it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure, or you  can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes, make all you can. Because  remember, that's where you will find success. Isn't that a great challenge. See  how many times you can fail at something? Share challenging bible quotes  Philippians 3:13-14, one thing I do, says Paul, Forgetting what is behind. Yeah, I failed at that thing. I failed in this relationship. I've failed with something that God has called me to. I've failed in ministry, Forgetting what is behind and straining  toward what is it straining, yearnings. I have a passion for something, I press  toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in  Christ Jesus. Press on. When I first came to the church I'm at it was a disaster.  The whole church was falling apart. They were a church of 300 went down to  100. I came in there and there was this brokenness, everywhere. It was, it was  the worst The Ministry experience I ever had in my entire life. It was so filled with gossip, and hurt and pain, and people hurting each other in the church being  destroyed. I was just I didn't know what to do. But this verse, this verse I held on to this first, and I kept saying it over and over again, press on. About a year later,

we had this awards ceremony where we're trying to honor people in the church  for what they do. And another guy and I, we made these plaques. And every one plaque, it said, What the You know, for teaching our kids or whatever the thing  that they did in our church, but on the plaque was this big red button, made this  button, and it said, press on, like a button, press on. And that became a symbol  that we are a group of people that are going to press on. Are there troubles and  problems, yes, but we're going to press on. Are things, not the way we want.  Yes, they are not the way we want. We're going to press on. Is our marriage  perfect? No, it isn't but we're going to press on, press on. Challenge Philippians  1:6, He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day  of Christ Jesus. Has God done any good work in you? Can you find anything  good in you? Can you find anything good in your marriage? Can you find  anything good in ministry? Can you find anything good? If you can, it means that God is already at work in you. That means he's not done. It's not all you want it  to be. But if you can find anything in your life that God has started, can you  imagine what it might look like when God is done? See, that's encouraging. It's  challenging, but it's encouraging. Because people can find something, you can  find something, you started this class. You've already you've already gone  through a bunch of lectures, you've already taken the test. Maybe you're  discouraged, maybe you're down, maybe you don't think you can do this, but  you've already succeeded in the past. So why not think that you can succeed as you go forward? Acts 10:36. This is one of my favorite verses in the Bible, when  David had served God in his own generation, he fell asleep, and was buried with his fathers and his body decayed. It's a real pick me up verse. His body  decayed. But I love this verse. Because it says, when David and served God in  his own generation we're on this planet a short period of time. You and I, I don't  know where you are in the world. But we share this moment of time. And God  has put us here for this time to do something. That's the reason why we're here.  God could have created a world where you don't exist, or he could have created  a world where I didn't exist. But he created this specific world because you and I exist. And we are here for a reason. To do something with this generation. We  can't wait to the next generation. We're responsible for this generation. And  there are people that need a need to be reached for Christ on the planet today,  people that you know, that must be reached by the people of this generation or  they will not be reached. When God had when David had served God's purpose  in his own generation, he did what God had called them to do during the time  that he was living with the needs and opportunities that were around him at that  time. The he fell asleep. Then he died and was buried with his fathers. You  know, what if, if I serve God, God's purpose through me, in my present  generation, and I complete whatever God wants me to do, then I am ready to  go. Fine. You know, to fall asleep, be buried with my fathers and my body decay. Well why not? I've accomplished why I am here. That to me. That's a it's a 

challenging as but it's a very encouraging verse. God has a purpose for you.  You may not be aware of it. You may think it's not me. I I've failed at everything  that I did. I'm taking these classes, and I'm learning things. But I wonder how I'm going to use it in any useful way. Maybe you've tried to do ministry in your  church and you got rejected. And you wonder whether you have anything, do I  have any gifts or abilities to do this? The only reason why you're on this planet is because God has a plan for you. He has a ministry for you. And maybe it's going to start by what you're doing right now. Taking these classes and learning things, and God is preparing you for that ministry. Philippians 4:11-13. Paul says I've  learned to be content. Whatever the circumstances, I know what it is to be in  need. I know what it is to have plenty. I've learned the secret of being content in  any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. What a challenge. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Share challenging stories,  the moon. I love this video clip of it can Google President Kennedy in the early  60s, challenging the country and saying we are going to put a man on the moon  and return him safely at the end of this decade. And it happened. I watched it. I  watched it live on my black and white television in 1969. I watched Neil  Armstrong come down the ladder and leap onto the moon first man to ever walk  on it. But that challenge. It was a challenge that invigorated a whole country.  Carnegie, maybe you've heard of Carnegie Hall, Andrew Carnegie. Incredible  story. Andrew Carnegie was an orphan. And he came under the tutelage he he  swept the office. I can't forget what oil man this guy was. But he was in  competition with the oil man Rockefeller. You've heard of the Rockefeller name.  And oil was a big business at that time. And this other guy that was a competitor of Rockefeller was was, you know, trying to make oil happen. And he had this  young orphan kid sort of clean up the office. But as this orphan kid grew up, he  was given more and more responsibility. And soon he was the right hand man of this oil man. Well, this oil guy wanted to move his oil, you know, from one place  to another and there was a big river to cross I forget what the name of the river  was, but it was a bigger one. And so he came to Andrew and said, I want you to  build a bridge across this water so we can take trains across and bring the oil  and so on. The problem was there wasn't enough steel, steel was a new thing. It was like you can make hammers out of it. But no company was big enough to  make enough steel to go across this river. So Andrew Carnegie started steel  mills. And then that the oil guy that he was working for went out of business, he  Rockefeller, put him out of business. And Andrew Carnegie went 100%. In this  deal, this orphan kid made millions and millions, millions of dollars. And he set  up a foundation, Carnegie Hall and all the different Carnegie libraries all around  the United States. But it's a it's a story. It's this incredible story of someone who  had nothing. Someone who had nothing and someone else who saw something  in him and encouraged him and gave him a challenge. It was a challenge to 

build a bridge that changed his life. So what challenges are you facing right  now? What challenges are you ignoring right now a challenge that might change the course of your life. The Great Commission, Jesus worked with his disciples  for three years. And just before He ascended into heaven, He gave them a  challenge. I want you to make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the  name of the Father, the Son of the Holy Spirit. Make disciples, teach them.  Teach them what I've taught you and I will be with you. You won't be alone. I will  be with you. That's the greatest challenge that we have today. That's the  challenge. Really, that that Christian leaders Institute really exists for. That's why we're trying to help you. We're trying to help you get what you need so that you  can fulfill this challenge that was given 2000 years ago to the disciples, and now it's being passed on to you. And that's Christian leaders Institute. That's our  challenge to you. That's the big challenge. We want to help you so that you can  be used for God's kingdom. That's the big challenge. The little challenge that I  want to leave with you today is just do the next lecture. Do the next quiz. Don't  have to worry about the whole thing. Just do the next one.