Video Transcript: Communication Objective: Persuasion

Oh, there you are. Well, we're back for another session in the effective  communication class. Or maybe it's called Communication 101, the titles of  these things sometimes change. But anyway, you know what class that you're  in. I congratulate you on getting this far, I hope you keep going right to the end,  that's my little encouragement. In this session, we're looking at the  communication objective of Persuasion. Persuasion, definition, to persuade  means to convince, or to win over. When you persuade someone about  something you're trying to win them over to your point of view for to what you  want done. Why is this important to most people, this whole idea of persuasion,  number one, in selling and buying. When you're selling something, you're trying  to persuade someone that they need this, that they should buy this. If you're  buying something, you're trying to persuade someone that you need this, but  you need this only if the price is right. You try to persuade them that their price is too high. And the one that you want to pay is more reasonable. So persuasion  goes in both of these arenas. Number two, at work, you're trying to persuade, if  you're the boss, you're trying to persuade your employees to do certain things,  and to do them in certain ways. If you're the employee, you're trying to persuade your boss that what he wants is not the right thing. Or your customer or to buy  something. Most everything that you do at work is persuading, I don't care  where you are, you might be on the floor of some factory, you're trying to  persuade people of stuff that this might be a better way, or the people that you  work with. Among family and friends. Parents, what is parenting is trying to  persuade kids to act in a certain way. This is how we would like you to act. And  this is why I'm trying to persuade you of this thing. Because if I don't persuade  you, you will find yourself disobeying family, friends, marriage, in religion,  politics, social encounters, it doesn't matter what arena, a sermon is, is nothing  other than trying to persuade people of stuff. This is the truth. This is how we  ought to live. This is what we should believe. This is what we should think about  politics. The whole thing is about persuasion. social encounters, people are  trying to say, let's go to this movie, instead of that movie, let's go to this  restaurant instead of that restaurant. Let's go on Friday night instead of  Saturday Night. In speaking writing, social media, whenever you speak, often,  somebody's trying to persuade somebody about something. When you write  social media, Facebook, emails, let's meet at this time, instead of that time. The  idea of persuasion is to win over you can't, but you cannot persuade a person of anything, unless they like you. So the first goal of you want to persuade  somebody about something is to get them to like you, if they don't like you. It  doesn't matter what you say, doesn't matter what you're trying to sell, it doesn't  matter how good the thing is for them. If they don't like you, they won't buy it.  They won't, they won't buy it to spite themselves. Just somehow get back at  you. So the first step is to get people to like you the needs. And the dilemma  here is the need for the truth versus the need to belong. And that was my first 

sermon, my first sermon. I wanted to boil down, you know, why do people do  whatever they want to do? And I finally came up with two things. People want to  know the truth. You know, is it the best car? Isn't it the best car? Is this the job  for me or isn't it they want to know the truth? Is there a God or isn't there a God  if there's a God, what does he want, which God is in which religion people want  to know the truth on the one hand, but they want to belong, on the other hand,  and sometimes they will compromise on the need for the truth, just to belong.  And that's, that explains why people join gangs, it explains why, you know, kids  often get in with the wrong crowd, it's because the wrong crowd made them feel  like they belong. And they're willing to compromise with the truth, how they  should live, and what they know is right and wrong, they're willing to  compromise that with the need to belong. And this is, these two things, these  two poles are also involved in this whole persuasion thing. There's, there's the  logic side, there's the truth of something. But there's also this need to belong  and to connect with a purchase person. So one is real logical, and one is more  emotional. How to make yourself more winning. Okay, this is the, you know,  making a relational connection to the person. Okay, we'll talk about you know,  what you're selling, what you're trying to persuade something of is the truth. I'm  trying to persuade you about this, or that. That's the truth I'm trying to give you.  But I need to walk on the emotional side, or you won't even listen to the truth.  And one way to do that, is to smile. It's more inviting. It's saying, Hey, we're,  we're together, we're not like adversaries. And I'm like, This is me, you know, I'm clenching my fists, and I'm trying to persuade you of something, you gotta do  this, you gotta buy this. You gotta believe this. It's a lot of sermons are  sometimes real preachy. You know, I, I'm pounding the pulpit. I'm like, telling you what you need to do. You need to do this. Smile, we're on the same team, we're  in this together. Number two, speak humbly. When you say something, when  you're trying to persuade somebody of something, say, I think, if you don't say, I  think before you say what you're going to say, it sounds like, you know, this is  the way it is. God always listens to every prayer. I'm telling you, that this is how it is. I am the source of all truth. And I'm telling you, this is how it is. Now that  might be true. But soften it a little bit and just say I think, I think that God hears  every prayer, see, it gives room for the other person to disagree. And that's what you want. Speak humbly, I think, from what I have read, okay, I'm gonna tell you  some things. But it's from what I have read, I haven't read everything. But from  what I have read this is what is true. But from what I've read, I'm giving them  room again, to disagree. Or could it be, instead of saying something like this is  the way it is. Could it be? Could it be that this is happening? Or that this is true?  Could it be that God exists? I mean, is that possible? Instead of just telling  someone who doesn't believe in God, God exists. Well, they disagree with me.  So you know, now we have this combative, combative relationship instead of,  I'm a friend. Could it be that God exists? And they say, Well, I guess it could be, 

see, now we're closer. What if? That's a great question to what if there was a  God? What if you were to come to church? Not that you would you don't like  church, but if you were to come to church, what if? What would you like to see at this church, and so all of a sudden, they're thinking about coming to church. So  you're persuading them. Leave room for people to disagree with you. We always want to shut people down. We want to keep talking and saying things and pile  on the logic and come up really authoritative, you know, I know this. And you  gotta believe this. And as we pound on them, they just start talking, stop talking.  Because the only way that they can give their opinion is to fight against this  oppressive thing, and they don't want to do it. Most people don't. Like I'm not  getting involved with that. I'm just not gonna say anything. So in in shutting  people down, you're actually losing the argument, because they're not going to  communicate. And if they don't communicate their side, they're never going to  accept your side. Use humor. lighten it up a little bit, but you don't want to get  into this combative thing, or they'll never come around to your way of thinking.  Number five, make fun of yourself. You know, I've been wrong many times. My  wife is always right. You know, I make jokes all the time. And and generally You  know, in my church, if the joke is on me, if I failed in some way, they think it's  hysterical. Why? Because, you know, they see me as the pastor, the one who's  elevated. And if I'm always elevating myself and always condescendingly talking to them, they feel down and I am up. And so when I take myself down, I poke  fun of my own self and my own stupid things that I do. Then, you know, equals  the playing field, and now we're a little closer to one another. And they may  actually do what I suggest not what I say, what I suggest. Establish common  ground, and I'm talking to an unbeliever, you know, how do I establish common  ground, I have my doubts about God, too. Just like you, all the things that you  talk about, I've wrestled with too, we're not that far from each other, see,  establish common ground with people, not this distance. In a lot of times in  church, we have this real, you know, the lost out there. And, you know, we need  to go out and find those people who are lost, you know, what I'm lost, too. I sin, I fall short, I act sometimes, like the resurrection never happened, or that I'm not  going to one day be resurrected, I don't have the kind of bold faith that I should,  because I believe in the power of the resurrection in my life. So I can relate.  Humble yourself a little bit, establish common ground. Don't make persuasion,  your obvious goal. My goal today is to persuade, you know, my goal is to walk  with you, to talk with you to share a common thoughts and concerns and maybe  help you see that the Bible has something to say to us. Coming in more humble  manner than this condescending thing, I'm not here to persuade you. I'm here to walk with you. I mean, something good may happen in the end. Actually careful  what is best for the other person. If you're a salesman, and you're trying to sell  your product to someone who doesn't need your product, that's not gonna work.  In the end, in the end, the person's going to resent you, they're going to tell 

other people you don't want that. I want what's best for someone and I want  them to know, right? Up front that I want what is best for you I'm making a sale is secondary. I want to help in your marriage, I want to help your family, I want to  help you as a person, if I have a product that I'm trying to sell to you, I'm I want  to see myself that this product actually will benefit you. And I will tell you if it  doesn't give the other person time and space to be persuaded lot times we want to convince them with one little talk. It takes a long way to get someone to  accept something is think of people it as one of these big tanker ships. You  know how long it takes for a big tanker to turn around. It's a huge ship but, they  gotta go miles before they can turn around. And people do too you trying to  persuade them of something they need, you need to walk with them for miles  before they can turn around. Figure out your motivation. Why do you want to  persuade somebody of something? Why do you want to persuade someone of  something in and I want to look at some negative reasons number one pride, I  want to persuade you of this, because I want to win this argument. I want to win. I'm going to sell you this product is when I do I get a high from selling this  product. Yeah. That's my goal is to get that feeling. I want to win. I want to beat  you. I want to beat you bad. If I can, if I can come up with a nice logical  argument that leaves you speechless. That's what I want to do. But just because you've left them speechless doesn't mean you won the argument. Put down a lot of times we're angry at somebody and we want to get even. So we want to, we  want to persuade them, but really, we just want to put them down. We want to  show them that they are wrong. And that we're right. Self gain sales. The  problem was sales is I gain something if I sell this and I don't gain something if I  don't and what I know and so I'm here and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to  gain something because that's my goal. But ultimately, again, you're hurting  yourself. To overcome your own self doubt a lot a lot of people become  preachers because they have all kinds of doubts about God and God's  goodness and all those things themselves. So they're going to become a  preacher to try to overcome that. If I'm convincing other people about this, it may convince me. But then see, I have to really work at it because I don't have a  good solid foundation. And when people challenge my faith, I don't have much  there. And so, you know, instead of, you know, walking with people, and battling  them all the time, about what I think and believe, to take advantage of someone  for your own gain. That's the downside of persuasion, I am going to take  advantage of my persuasion skills, I'm so good at this, that I can get you to do or believe or to buy anything. And I'm the one that gains from that. Motivation, why  do you want to persuade someone of something on the positive side? Number  one, genuine care and concern for the other person. If this is not, number one, is you're trying to persuade somebody of something, ultimately, you're not going to  be successful, because people will eventually smell that out. People want to  know, if you care, before they're willing to listen to what it is that you have to say 

and what you're trying to persuade them of. Number two, to help improve the life of the other person, I'm trying to persuade you of something. But my goal is to  help improve your life. And if I'm selling a product, that's what I'm trying to do, I  think this is going to help you. Number two, three, to give them the same  knowledge and tools that have helped you succeed in life, this is what's helped  me. You know, when I share Christ with other people, I tend to go down that trail, I'll tell you, this is my life. And this is how Christ has entered my life. And this is  what he's done for me. And so I'm just sharing that, you know, the goodness that has happened to me because of these things. And if you're looking for the same  kind of goodness, and you're struggling, and you're frustrated with your life, with  your marriage, with your family, with your future, and your you know, your goals  and your job and, and your view of all of life, you might want to try what has  worked for me. What, what, to what end? Are we trying to persuade someone  what's the goal of this persuasion? Here's, here's the situation, my solution to a  problem that we or, they or the both of us have. So that's really my goal. When  I'm trying to persuade someone, I'm trying to give my solution my point of view  my thing to a problem that we not just you, but we and the person I'm talking to,  they or the both of us have we both have this struggle, this is a common  struggle, this is a human problem. Okay. And I think that I have a solution to that  problem. And that's ultimately what I want to share with you. But before my  audience is open to my solution, they must first believe that I understand the  problem. And before they are interested in the problem, they have to be aware  of some need or desire that is unfulfilled, that's causing the problem. There's an  unfulfilled needs that is causing this problem. Okay, we have to understand that  together before they listen to a solution. I can't just give them a solution to a  problem that they don't own or they don't understand. Find a common desire, or  dream. Not fulfilled. Are you happy with your job? No. Why not? What is  frustrating about your job and then they tell you, they tell you their problem?  How's your relationship with your wife? Is it what you expected? No, it's not.  Really, what's wrong. We're like two different people. She does her thing I do my thing. When we get together all we do is fight. Okay, so I'm, we're exploring a  problem together. God, what's the problem with God? He seems distance. He  doesn't seem real. He used to seem real, but now he doesn't. Really Why do  you think that is? And they discuss their problems? Happiness, are you happy?  No, I'm not. Do you have friends? No, I don't. Freedom, car, house education,  whatever it might mean. See, you need to explore the problem. You need to  explore the unfulfilled needs. One of my favorite questions to anyone is what's  your spiritual dream? And when you ask that question, they tell you the big thing that they really want out of life. And then the second question is, are you getting  that dream? Are you? Are you being fulfilled in experiencing the going after that  dream? No, I'm not. I'm frustrated with that dream. Really, where, how we have  to establish the problem first. Explore obstacles to the desire or the problems, 

what's in the way. common obstacles, you know, marriages, opposites are  attract attracted to each other, you end up with someone who's totally not like  you. They do everything different than you do. They talk different, they  understand things different, their logic is different. It's like, how's this gonna  work? That's a common problem. Share your own struggle with this problem.  Yeah, my wife likes to go bird watching and I like to play a sports. How do we do this? She, you know, I get up in the morning ready to go, she takes like, 10  hours to get ready. We're just different people, how's this going to go? I have the same struggle. I do wonder what I'm doing with life, and where it's all going?  And what my role is, okay. These are common struggles that we have. Explore  typical solutions, common solutions to these problems. Well, some people just in marriage, they just do their own thing, you do your thing, I do my thing. That's  our solution. Or we keep fighting, and we keep doing the same thing. But that's  not a solution. We, our solution is to live with the problem. You know, we just, we had expectations up here and now our expectations are done down here. That's  a typical solution to a lot of problems. Okay. So you talk about that. These are  the typical solutions that people have to religion, you know, that, you know,  instead of really going to church and figuring out what to believe what people do  is they keep busy doing something else, they keep busy with their work? How  do you deal with the problem of death? I don't think about it. How do you not  think about it? I just keep busy with other stuff. That's my solution to this  problem. Okay. So you talk about these common solutions, solutions that you  and more importantly, they have tried, Have you tried this solution? If you try this to be you know, if you're selling a product, and you try these other products, do  they work? No. I'm very frustrated with this whole solution. Parenting years  frustrated with your kids? What have you done about it? Well, we tried this, did it work? No, it didn't. Work, it didn't work. Okay, so you explore those things, share the common frustration? how frustrated are you about this? I'm really frustrated.  When your son doesn't do and he doesn't come home when he's supposed to  how frustrated are you I'm really frustrated when he doesn't chip in when he  doesn't do the chores that he's supposed to do when he expects everything but  doesn't give anything? How do you feel about that? It makes me extremely mad. So explore those things, explore the emotions, explore the problems, explore  everything that they've been trying to do to fix it. The logic and the emotion both  of these things. Offer as a consideration. Finally, after listening and talking for a  long time, offer as a consideration your solution as a consideration. I'm telling  you what to do. You're you've discussed all these problems, and this frustration,  and it gets you upset and you get angry and you get depressed. Okay? Now I'm  offering a possible solution, not telling you this is what you need to do. Or this is  what you should do. I'm just giving you a possible, see how soft that is? Humbly  present your solution. This is what's worked for my wife and I. Once every two  days, we get together and we pray for five minutes. We talk about the Bible a 

little bit what we've read, how it relates to our life, and that's what we do. We go  to church on Sunday. And we're involved in a few other things. We do music  together. That's what's worked for us. I can show you how to do that if you'd like. Give grounds. See, whatever that works. When you pray with God Almighty  sitting there with you, the God, the entity that knows what you're thinkin. All your  motivations, you tend to be more honest and humble with each other. I can't be  angry at my wife. I can't be like, you know, and you do this and you do that. And  then she we can't get into this big angry argument when the God of this universe is sitting right there. He knows the truth of everything. That was with God sitting  at the table. You're more humble, you know, it probably was my fault. No, I think  it was my fault. No, it was my fault. You're more humble, you're more willing to  try with the God of this universe sitting there. So that's why it works. So there's a logic to the solution that you're offering, provide stories, the emotion, this is what we used to do, then we drifted apart. There's studies that have been made, you  know, that husbands in the United States, there's just as many divorces in  Christian marriages, as non Christian marriages, except for in one area, if the  husbands or wives pray together on a regular basis, the divorce rate almost is  extinct. Okay, that's sort of the logic side. In I'm providing that story. I can  provide stories of people who didn't walk with God. And now they are and the  changes that have happened and what's going on in their family. See, I'm trying  to emotionally say why this might work. All right, explain possible negative  consequences if your solution is rejected. Okay, people aren't going to be  persuaded right away, they're going to have objections. No, I think the product  that I'm using already, is going to do something for me, even though they're a  little frustrated with it, or I just can't believe in a God that created this world. And  there's all this evil, they're gonna have objective objections to whatever it is that  you're trying to persuade them of. And they need to give voice to these object  objections. If you don't give them space, to say how they really feel, you will not  convince them of anything, all you'll do is shut them down. And they'll just stop  talking. But you won't be able to persuade them. So you need to give logical and natural consequences. Only. You know, when people are talking about God, and they just can't believe him say, Well, okay, you know, how well is that working for you and keep doing if you're happy with this non belief, and it's working for you  then keep doing it, I'm only offering you something, in case it doesn't work. If it  isn't working, that I'm suggesting this might be a possibility. But if it's working,  you know, keep going, let the natural consequences of not believing in God,  take its toll on them for a while. provide a way for them to accept or reject your  solution. Close the deal if possible. You're trying to sell something and persuade  something? Okay, what do you think? Shall we go forward? Would you like to  accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Will you come to church this  Sunday? Will you buy my product? Will you be my friend? I mean, whatever it is  that you're trying to persuade something, will you son or daughter, obey these 

little things that I've set up? They are the parameters, you have to come home at this time. I'll let you drive the car. But and then here's all your conditions, are you willing to do this? So you try to close the deal, if possible. Number two, let  people try out the deal. If possible, I found in church, this is the best way to  persuade people of stuff. You know, what? Can we just try this for a while, you  know, when I'm trying to persuade the whole church to do something? Can we  just try it? If we don't like it, we can change it. You know, with names. I  remember we we had my church was called pathway ministries. And people  kept dropping off food at our door thinking we were a ministry and not a church.  And I said, you know, it seems like we want to communicate to our community  that we're a church. So we had a committee that met together to look at possible new names for our church. It took two years. And all the arguments in the fights  and you know, people thought that the you know, that their connection to the  church was being threatened because the name was changed. And we built this  church and who, you know, no one has the right to change the name and on and on, and on and on and on. So it's like, Finally, after a couple years, they said,  why don't we just try it out? Let's try out pathway church instead of pathway  ministries, and just see how it feels for a year. And if we don't like it, we can  change it back. And guess what? It was easy. Everyone did it a year later and  it's like, okay, let's call ourselves Pathway Church. It was not hard. Try this with  your son's with your daughter. Let's try this. Can we try it for a while and see  how it goes? Can you try God for a while and see how it goes? I know you're not convinced but why not try it? You know, I have a little tract that says walk with  God for six days and see if he shows up. Try a walk with God. And maybe he'll  show up. Maybe he won't, I don't know. But why not give it a try delay if closing  is not possible, you know, I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to help you in a  certain direction, and maybe it isn't fitting for you, fine. Fine. We don't have to  decide this today, you don't have to decide this today, I'm just trying to help you  in a certain direction. If you need help, you can think about it, you can pray  about it. And we can talk later, I don't have to make this sale right now. Allow  people to experience the consequences of their own choices without judgment  or vindictiveness. All right, if you don't want this, than just see what happens in  your family. You know, I've wanted to say that to some people who are  arrogantly leaving the church or whatever they're doing, and they have all these  reasons. And, and I want to say, Do you know what you're doing? You know,  what you're going to do to your kids? The anger that you have towards me or  the church or God, it's really anger about your son, you know, that's what I want  to say to someone. And I want to tell them what's going to happen if they do this. Well, then they're just gonna get more angry at me, I just need to let them go  down that trail and see how well it works. And talk to him a year later, when  they're hurting. You let people experience the consequences of their own  choices. That's what good parenting is. Good parenting is letting them 

experience the consequences of their bad choices. You're not ready on time to  get the bus to go to school and our culture, we have buses that pick kids up and  when they go to school, if you miss the bus, you walk. So I don't care if you miss the bus or not. Because the consequences of missing the bus are severe  enough to hurt you enough that maybe the next day, you'll get up on time. No,  listen, you'll be persuaded by the things that I'm saying. Because of the pain that you experience, because you're not following my advice. The two twin towers of  persuasion. These are the things that you're ultimately thinking about. Number  one, logic, facts, research, this is why you should buy this product. This is why I  am I've studied every religion. And I believe for these reasons that Christianity is superior to the others, I'm giving you facts. I'm trying to persuade you of a  certain way of living. And here are the facts. This is what the Bible says this is  what researchers have said, This is what I've read, this is what has worked for  me. And these are the all these kinds of persuasive kinds of logic things.  Number two, the other tower that's one tower, this is the other tower two  emotion, metaphors, anecdote, emotion. Emotion is from your own life. This is  what worked for me, my marriage was on the rocks. And then I started praying  with my wife and everything turned around. Then you tell a story of when that  happened. You know that, that that there was that time that you're sitting  together and you were praying and you're both angry, and you weren't talking to  each other. And it started out hard and all of a sudden it switched. And you tell  that story of what God did for you and your life. You share your testimony, your  personal testimony of whatever area of life, you're struggling with your son, and  now you have a great relationship with your son what changed it? See, that's  emotion. That's the emotion that people can relate to let them see your emotion. There's logic. But then there's emotions, metaphors. Metaphors are like little  stories that people can see. You know, the Titanic went down. There were 1500  people in icy waters and the lifeboats were rowing the other way. They had  empty seats, there was 750 empty seats or 500 empty seats not filled and there  are all these people in the water. How can that be? And that's what we're like in  church. If we don't talk to our neighbors if we don't invite them. We're like rowing away from people that are drowning. And not just for this life, but for all eternity.  And we're rowing away. We have an empty seat right next to us in church that's  not filled. And what did we do last week to fill that empty seat. That metaphor  helps people see and feel. They can feel they're hurting people they can feel the people that are freezing in the water, they can see it and now as they think  about their neighbor who isn't connected to God isn't connected to church.  That's that person. They smile, they laugh, they drive their car, they go to work,  but they're in the water and they're gonna die eternally unless we do something  about it. Stories communicating emotion subtle, persuasive elements. Number  one, okay? These are just subtle little things mirroring. If someone is animated  and you are animated, they can relate to you. If someone's in a suit, and you're 

in a suit, they relate to you, if you're casual, and they're casual, there's a  connection. If they fold their arms, and you fold their arms, there's a, there's an  unspoken thing that says, Oh, I see we're on the same team of the scratches  are leaning back, and you're leaning back. It's mirroring, you're doing the exact  same thing that they do. It seems corny, it seems weird. But it works. Somehow,  people feel connected to people who are doing and looking like they look. social  pressure everyone's doing it. That's what you see online a lot. And all your  friends are doing this all your neighborhood are you doing this. Your family and  friends have bought this product? You're the only one that hasn't. There's a  social pressure and social pressure works. A lot of your neighbors actually go to  our church already. You would fit in perfectly. There's a social thing going on  there. Number three, authority pressure, okay. Colleges have done this research research or institutes have done this research. And they have determined this.  There was a poll, a study, and that poll found out that the divorce rate in among  Christians is about 40%. But it jumps down to .05%. If If couples would just pray, it's an authority telling you something, here's some information that you should  understand, as you're trying to make your decision. Pray Persuasion. Pray  persuasion is is sort of a subtle thing that you do and but here's where you can  start manipulating things. I read this book called pre persuasion. And I was  reading the book when we were doing a garage sale in the United States. A  garage sale is when you take all the stuff you don't want anymore, and you go  outside, and you put a price tag on it, and people walk by and they buy it. But  people often don't want to pay the price that you put on it. And I discovered we  were selling my dad's stuff, he had died. And we were getting rid of all this stuff.  And so we were working on the one hand, but we're selling all this stuff. And  then for the profit we would go out to eat at night. But we've put prices on it and  everyone came by and you know, I'm selling this cup for $5. And no matter what  it was people wanted to offer half. I'll give you a to $2.50. It didn't matter what it  was, it didn't matter that the thing might be $100 of value, if they wanted to do it  at half price. And then I started reading this book. And this book suggested that  if that when people hear numbers, then it affects them. That if you say a  ridiculous number like 1000, then 100 Sounds really low. So the next day I tried  it, I said, Oh, you want to buy this cup? This cup is? Let's see, it's about $3,000  I've suggested something totally ridiculous. They would laugh. And that's it, you  know, and I wouldn't smile, I wouldn't laugh. And finally, I'd say well, I guess it's  $5. Now, some people still want to do it for $2.50. But half the people just took it  for $5 because they heard that high number. It's pre persuasion before I'm even  talking about trying to persuade you of something I am, I'm establishing  something ahead of time. You can do that with, you know, people in general,  that go to church have more fulfilled lives. Now let's talk about church. I just  subtly throw something out there before we get into persuasive mode that sort of establishes the sort of the benchmarks that people can hear things. Number 

five, the person's name. I'm horrible with names. I'm working on it, but no, I'm  horrible at people. Some are really good. They hear your name, and they repeat  it the next, you know, like, Well, Steve, what we're talking about is this. Steve,  the sweetest sound that anyone ever hears is their own name. There's a  connection. When someone says your name, it's like, well, we have to be  friends. Because he knows my name. And I know that once names are  exchanged, you get a lot closer. And remember, unless people like you, they're  not going to be persuaded by anything that you say. So person's name. All right,  number six, the fear of missing out some people that is so detrimental to their  life. They fear missing out and so they get over involved. But what When you're  trying to persuade someone, and other people are doing it, and they're missing  out on something, it, it works in terms of persuasion, repetition. The more people hear something, they more they're willing to accept it. people's names you know, they in this country, we name children, certain names, and these days, everyone wants to be unique. I'm going to name my child, the most unique name.  Chadwick or some name that hasn't been used in centuries. And all of a sudden, someone names, their name. But you know what, generally, every one that  names their kid, and they think it's the most unique name in the world, if they  just Google, you know, the top 20 names being used today, they will find the  name that they thought was so unique in the top 20. They don't think they think  it's a unique names, but they only think it because they've suddenly been  hearing it here, there and everywhere, but they don't realize that they've been  hearing it. And repetition has happened so many times, that it somehow got into  their brain. And now they come up with it. And they they're not aware of all those times that they heard it. And now they name their child, they think it's unique.  But it's not unique at all, everyone's naming their child that. And then when the  kid goes to school, there's like 20 of them with the same name. Why most  people are not good at giving persuasive speech. They have not built their  speech around the frustrating unfulfilled desires of their audience. You have to  tap into the unfulfilled, frustrating desires of your audience in order for them to  listen to what you and care about what you're trying to persuade them to do or  think. They do not take time to sympathize with their audience over these  frustrating unfulfilled desires that to talk about the problem, the frustration, and  then you can't just offer a solution. You've got to walk with them in the pain that  they've experienced. Help them understand that you care. Unless they know you care, they're not going to be persuaded about anything. They do not take their  audience on a journey to find an answer to these frustrating unfulfilled desires.  You know what I have the answer for you people just sit back and I will tell you  the answer to all your problems. People don't want to follow that. They want to  go on a journey. Let's I understand your problems. I sympathize with those  problems. I have them too. Let's go on a journey to see if we can do something  about it. And so you take them here did that work? No, it didn't. And then we 

went over here. Did that work? Kinda but I don't know. Have you? Does it work  for you? You take them on this journey. And maybe you finally get there at some  point. Why most people are not good at giving persuasive speech. They often  share the solution with condescension or judgment. I'm going to tell you how to  live your life. I'm gonna tell you how to fix the problem in your you got problems  and your problems are problems because you're not doing the right thing. And  I'm gonna tell you the right thing. See, that was the old style of preaching, you're a sinner, you're a problem, you're a thing and what you need to do is do what I  say and then it will get fixed. We're all sinners, we're all struggling, aren't we?.  We all go our own way. We think we know better. I do that often. You know what  all I've gotten is pain and suffering. Maybe there's another way. Let's explore it  together. They fail to provide logical grounds for their solution. Why is  Christianity important? Why do you need to buy this product? How will this help  you? They often use emotion as a manipulation tool, not a support mechanism.  Now I just want to end with this. Persuasion is something we do in almost every  relationship we have ever every in our jobs, social things, family things, church  things, it's going on everywhere, people are persuading. And the more you learn about persuasion, the more you can use all the techniques, all the things that  I've talked about, you can use to manipulate people because people can be  manipulated that you can see that all the time. People aren't being manipulated.  We don't want to manipulate people because then see the focus is on me and  what I want. And the ultimate persuader is not the one who's doing it to get  something to get what they want. But to help someone get what they need, and  what they possibly want. It. It's not what I want. It's what you might want. You  know I'm trying to help you. God so loved the world that He gave His one and  only Son that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting  life. See, that is the goal. God's love. I want the most that you can have out of  this life. And from my experience, this is what is working and you know what  might work for you too. Thanks for listening.