Video Transcript: Humbly Confess

Welcome back to PeaceSmart Relationships.  In this lecture, we're going to talk about the confession of sin.  We're in the middle of the Reconciliation Triangle.  As you recall, the Reconciliation Triangle - confront in love, humbly confess, and freely forgive.

In the last session, we talked about the confrontation of sin and now we've been presented with the opportunity to confess our sin.  Our sin has been exposed and when sin is exposed, and opportunity is presented, and that's an opportunity for transformation, an opportunity for us to take before the Lord what's been exposed and ask Him to forgive us and to change us.  Exposure is an opportunity to consider our ways. 

In Haggai 1:7 we read, “This is what the Lord Almighty says, Give careful thought, to your ways.”

When our sin is exposed, it exposes our heart condition.  And when we respond to that exposure, there are three heart conditions that can be displayed.  

The first is what I call the hard heart.  This is a heart that is offended by the confrontation and refuses to confess or acknowledge the sin. 

The second heart is what I call the open heart.  This heart may deny that sin exists but it's willing to dialogue and discuss the situation.  And recognize that sometimes when we go to someone to confront them about their sin, the possibility exists that we could be wrong.  And when we do that, we go expecting someone to confess sin that we confront them with and they deny it, we may think that they're resisting us and have the hard heart.  But if we will take the time to listen, and when we go with the spirit of gentleness, we can hear their story, hear their position on the conflict, and we may find that we agree with them.  And so going in that spirit of love, going in the spirit of reconciliation will give that person with the open Heart the opportunity to dialogue about the situation without necessarily agreeing that they have committed sin. 

The third type of person, the third type of heart, in response to the exposure sin is what I call the broken heart.  And with a broken heart, there are two types of sorrow that can be displayed when someone is broken by the exposure of their sin.  The first is a sorrow that's based in worldly sorrow.  

The apostle Paul described it this way.  Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret. But worldly sorrow brings death.  Worldly sorrow is the sorrow that is present because my sins have been exposed and I'm embarrassed.  Or, I'm sorry because of what my sin has cost me but there's an inward focus to my sorrow.  

A Godly sorrow, on the other hand, causes action; it brings repentance.  A Godly sorrow will cause me to turn to the Lord at the Peacefire, change my ways, change my direction, and reconcile, first with the Lord, and then with those that I've sinned against.  

That order of reconciliation is extremely important because we can fall into the habit, as Bible believing Christians, that we know what the word of God requires us to do and we can go to our brother once we realize that we've offended them.  And we can confess our sin and reconcile with them and forget that our sin has offended God.  And that reconciliation of that relationship is more important than the relationship with my brother.  Because it's out of that relationship with the Father that my love to restore the relationship with my brother flows.

In Psalm 51:4, “King David wrote after his sin was exposed, “Against you, and you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” 

And remember the promise in 1 John 1, “That if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 

After we've reconciled with God, we have the opportunity to reconcile with our brother and to confess our sin to our brother.  James 5:16 reads, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

There is so much power in the confession of sin. In fact, the most powerful words you can say, if you have sinned in a conflict, the most powerful words you can say to your brother or sister is “will you forgive me?”

Now some of the reading materials with this course that we make available are written by Ken Sande, the founder of Peacemaker Ministries.  And one of the things that Ken has written in relationship to confession are the Seven A's of confession.  And the Seven A's of Confession address some of the aspects of confession and what does a biblical confession look like?  Is it just saying I'm sorry? 

You know, when I say I'm sorry to you, what does that mean?  Does it mean that I really understand what I did?  Do you know when I say I'm sorry that I believe I was wrong?  Our language and confessing sin to one another in the church in our generation has become uncomfortable to use the words, I've sinned against you.  When was the last time someone came to you and said, “I've sinned against you? Will you forgive me”?  The Seven A's of Confession address everyone involved.  Avoid if, but, and maybe, which is, don't excuse your wrongs, don't excuse your sin.  

If you've sinned against me, and I've confronted you, and you say, “Oh Brian, you're right, I was wrong, but if you hadn't have said that about me, I wouldn't have said that about you,” you've just discounted your confession to me and blamed me for your own sin.  

Admit specifically what you've done, both your attitudes and your actions, acknowledge the hurt that your sin has caused, except the consequences for our sin, such as making restitution, alter our behavior, change our attitudes and our actions and ask for forgiveness.  In asking for forgiveness, we give the person that we've sinned against the opportunity to extend forgiveness to us, which is what we'll talk about in the next lecture. 

God bless you. We'll see you next time.