Video Transcript: Four Attributes of a Conflict Firefighter - Desire to Please God

Welcome back to PeaceSmart Relationships. In this session, we're going to examine the second attribute of a conflict firefighter that God can use in the midst of conflict. 

The first attribute was humility.  The second attribute relates back to the choices we make in the midst of conflict. 

In the midst of a conflict Wildfire, the choices we make reveal who we want to please.  Now in some conflicts that you'll encounter, you'll want to please yourself.  And we'll make choices that will reflect our self-interest.  

There may be other conflicts where you're trying to please someone else.  Maybe it's someone who has authority over you or someone in a power relationship that has more power than you do, and so you make the decision to please them.  But what we're talking about today is a different type of choice.  It's not a choice to please yourself, or a choice to please others.  Those are both choices that are driven by the dynamics of the Wildfire. 

At the Peacefire, the choices we make are made to please God, and to please Him first.  Jesus Christ lived His life that way.  Did you ever think about that?  That Jesus Christ never made decisions to please himself?  Everything that He did, and He even talked about everything that He said, He did, because the Father told him to do it and to say it.  During His earthly ministry, He lived His life to please the Father. 

Let's look at the scriptures that reflect this relationship between the Father and the Son.

In John 8:29, we read, “The one who sent me is with me; He has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases Him.”

 In Romans 15:3, “For even Christ did not please himself.” 

And in Luke 22:42, Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, “Father, if you are willing to take this cup from me, yet, not my will, but yours be done.” 

As followers of Jesus Christ, we’re called to have the same kind of relationship with Jesus Christ that He had with His father, that all that we do is done out of the desire to please Him. 

Now none of us lives that way every day because we're all still in that process of sanctification and transformation.  The Lord is always at work.  And it's one of the fascinating dynamics of conflict; that as we experience the Wildfire and things are exposed, the Lord changes us.  He identifies things that He wants to change in ways that we can begin to please Him more and make choices that please Him.  And we then position ourselves to be used of Him, in the midst of that Wildfire and in future Wildfires.

So don't be discouraged when you make those choices out of self-interest, when they're exposed, recognize them for what they are, bring them to the Peacefire, say, Lord, I see that I made this choice to please myself, or to please this person, and I didn't consult you about it.  I didn't pray about it.  I didn't ask you if it's what you wanted me to do.  So change me, teach me how to come to you, and give me that desire to please you.

In Galatians 1:10, the Apostle Paul wrote, “For am I now seeking the approval of man or of God, or am I trying to please man?  If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

And we live in an age in some cultures, and here where I live in the United States, our culture is a very self-focused culture.  Most of us live to please ourselves.  And we don't really give it much thought that it's not the way we should live, because it's all around us.  

But in God's kingdom, we come out of this culture of self-pleasure and we come into a kingdom where the desire is to please God, to do those things that please Him, and that is the Spirit He gives us, and as He transforms us into His image, He gives us that desire more and more, to seek Him and to please him, and He reflects the image of Jesus Christ in us. 

In a Wildfire, we cannot pursue selfish interests and trying to please ourselves and serve God at the same time.  You will, as a Christian leader, often observe people in conflict and in our own lives will observe moments when we will have a desired outcome, pursuing the lantern, and rather than go before the Lord and say, Lord, what pleases you here, what do you want me to do with the lantern, our heart's desire will be, Lord give me that lantern, help me negotiate to get that lantern. Give me wisdom so that I can figure out a way to get the lantern. 

Contrast that heart with the heart that is Lord, whatever you want me to do, give me the power to do it, and I will do it.  If you want me to give the lantern away to my friend, or to my enemy, or whoever I'm in conflict with, I will do it.  If you want me to wait for that lantern until they give it to me, I'll wait.  And if you want me to negotiate and resolve this in a different way, show me what to do, and I'll do it. 

Now we're making safe choices at the Wildfire. We're making safe choices in the midst of conflict rather than just trying to please ourselves and get our way. 

In Romans 8:8, we read this verse that reinforces that we cannot please God and seek our own interest at the same time, “Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.”

As we seek the Lord of the Peacefire, and as we ask Him what is His will, what is His desire for us in this conflict, He begins to change our desires.  And as we come to Him, we recognize that He's at work, He's doing something, and we may not know what it is.  We may think we know what it is, because of our self-interest but we go to the Peacefire with an open heart, and open mind, Lord, what do you want me to do?  Give me the desire to please you.  Just like the humility that the Lord gives us through Jesus Christ, this same element of the desire to please God is a gift from God.  The Lord promises to bless those who seek Him. 

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

He doesn't want us to take delight in the lantern and then ask Him for it.  He takes pleasure in giving it to us.  When we delight in him, He'll not only establish new desires in our hearts, that desire to please Him, but He'll fulfill those desires through the power of His Holy Spirit and His Word. 

In Matthew 6:33 Jesus said, “Seek first His kingdom, His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” 

We often think that the focus of the Wildfire, whatever our desired outcome is, is the most important thing in our life at that moment.  And only in resolving that Wildfire and extinguishing that Wildfire can we find our peace again, but that's a deception of the enemy.  He's hindering your walk with Jesus Christ.  And as you walk through conflict, and as you serve others who want to conflict, the desire to please God rather than pursue that desired outcome is one of the keys to finding the Lord's peace in the midst of the Wildfire.  When we're willing to lay down our interest and say Lord, if there's some way I could have that lantern that would be great, but not my will, but yours be done.  This is the desire to please God that we find at the Peacefire. 

When we talk about pleasing God, we sometimes presume that we know what pleases God.

In marriage conflict, in parenting conflict, we make quick decisions because we know a verse of scripture or a passage that talks about something we should do.  But remember not to jump too quickly to presume that you know what the will of the Lord is if you haven't prayed about it, if you'd haven't taken time to ask the Lord what His will is. 

Presumption can sometimes short circuit what the Lord is doing in the midst of that Peacefire and the midst of the Wildfire; what he's trying to accomplish at the Peacefire in His relationship with you.  When that happens, we're likely to revisit that same issue in a future conflict.

Have you ever had that happen?  Maybe you've had a conflict where a certain character trait was exposed.  And rather than deal with that character issue before the Lord and bring it to Him and ask Him to change you, you turn your attention to the lantern, whatever your desired outcome was, you obtained and resolved the conflict, you obtain the lantern and you moved on and then a period of time later that same character issues exposed in a later conflict.  

The Lord is faithful to you, and He will pursue relationship with you and He will change that character issue in your life that does not look like Jesus Christ. 

Think about your life like a hundred room hotel.  And behind every one of those doors, every one of those one hundred doors, there's some hidden chamber in your heart and your life that no one else sees but the Lord, and behind every door something that does not reflect the image of Jesus Christ.  Look, think about conflict like as going through that hotel door by door and the Lord opening one door in one Wildfire saying it’s time to clean up this room.

And the Lord is the only one who can clean it out.  He doesn't come to us and open the door or kick open the door and say now clean that up.  Because we don't have it in us.  We can't polish up our life to reflect the image of Jesus Christ.  Only He can do that work and walking by faith and making faith choices in the Wildfires is simply to let Him do it. 

In the next session, we're going to talk about the third attribute of a conflict firefighter that God can use in the midst of conflict, and it's faith. 

We'll see you then.  God bless you