Video Transcript: Helping People Overcome Past Traumatic Relationships

There are a lot of people who become extremely cynical about marriage about monogamy. We have a large percentage of people in the world who have gone through divorce. And the devil Satan, sin has created hate for another person, someone that in many cases they've said vows they would love to adapt to the part ended up in brokenness. 

In the church has not been there to offer what even says in the Lord's Prayer many times forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And many times those who have gone through divorce, have been ostracized in some churches excommunicated without really understanding that we are broken, and there's passages in the Bible, I mentioned in the last presentation about the passage that say, if you remarry, you live in continual adultery. 

And as we look at that passage, it's understandable how that can happen if you are in a former relationship, and you are staying, staying in a hate filled existence for a former spouse, and then you get remarried. It is as if you are not married to your current spouse, you are still in the hate of the previous and now a new person involved. And it gets very complicated. 

I understand that one sin is unforgivable, and that is a sin against the Holy Spirit. So the sin of a broken relationship is something that can be taken to the cross of Christ. The sin against the Holy Spirit is itself I believe, the sin, that no matter how amazing the grace of God is, someone rejects this. And that willful unbelief is what is meant by that passage. 

Now, look, yourself as a minister in these things. But many people have gone through divorce. And a matchmaker minister is an agent of God, that can bring healing. So one of the things that you will bring healing to people your clients for is how to get over the terrible feelings or even hate for their former spouses.  Sometimes, this is an ongoing thing, because that former spouse and the client you are helping may share custody, there could be ongoing feuds that are there often and then you as a matchmaker are asked to can you help in to me, this is a beautiful opportunity for you to give the grace of God. 

First of all, you can indicate that as a minister, you will pray for that person and you will begin a non judgmental journey. You will encourage them to be self reflective and empathetic and in to have gentleness to themselves and gentleness to the broken person that they divorced, reminded them that they too are part of it. You know so much of moving on to a new relationship is owning what it is that created brokenness this from the perspective of your client. And when that happens, the fog can begin to clear. 

Help your client explore the benefits of forgiveness. To just be able to you know Jesus look at us as humans In he paid the ultimate sacrifice of forgiveness. Now, I understand that some people have gone through horrific situations by also know that as a matchmaker minister, you have the opportunity to at least nudge them and being let go. You know, I have seen in decades of ministry, that when someone holds and harbors bitterness, it's, they're the ones who have a bitter soul. 

As it says, In the book of Hebrews, that no bitter fruit grow up to the File many, and often the better route to files, the very person that's bitter. So as people who come from the divorce situation, struggle with some of these past bitterness, it often can be unite the online tools that will help them the most. 

Now, again, fostering understanding, offering spiritual guidance and support, sometimes suggesting Christian counseling is very appropriate, and as a matchmaker minister, to be looking for well trained. But decidedly Christian counseling centers can be such a blessing for your ministry. In many cases, as a matching weekend Minister, you may deal with people who have no budget, to afford to hire a counselor, then it's you by the grace of God, to keep encouraging that the Lord will change a heart. 

You know, a lot of times as a matchmaking Minister, you also can help a divorced person get restored in the eyes of the community. And I've seen that so often over the years, and I'll give you this scenario. So someone just gone through a divorce. And that person was broken. In last time, to the pits in a church were both the husband and wife are going to the church, there could be this little war going on, where and people are talking about the spouse and in front of others and or one spouse leaves and then the hurt in spouse will tell his or her story to everyone who will listen. 

And a lot of times the Matchmaker is one who's going to be there to empathize and listen. But one of the things the matchmaker minister can do is say, you know, all of that is out there, but my goal is to get you ready for the future. So I will, by the grace of God help you walk the path of forgiveness. By the grace of God, I will help you not to find your life by that past relationship. But celebrate the blessings that occurred, maybe children were born to you. Maybe through this whole experience, God broke you down, so you would seek him more. 

A matchmaker Minister unlike any matchmaker, other matchmaker, other ministers. Their goal is to find them a match. Our goal is to help them find Jesus Christ, who's the author and perfecter of their faith. The matchmakers goal is to a more a to find love. Our goal is to find Jesus Christ who can bring together broken people to serve him in his kingdom. So, we're not afraid of these huge rocks, the rocks of bitterness and forgiveness because Jesus Christ can craft truth of the power of the Holy Spirit. We're not answer people who give therapy just to cope. No. We're matchmaker ministers, who help people hope for the future. And yes, there will be the scars. 

There's a swan Christian song, Thank you for the scars. And in in the scars teach us whose Jesus scars are about. So what an opportunity we have if you are, let's say in divorce care, anything, you know, matchmaker minister, is that some that yes, yes. You understood how hurt works, but you You've understood also the gift of forgiveness. 

So as we think about becoming a matchmaker minister, and we think that the singles we talked about them last time and we think about divorce, we might only went through that or we briefly did. Or we think about widows and helping them through grief. As you read through the materials and pray about this, God can help you go deeper and further in being that matchmaker minister. 

But this is one of my favorite presentations. In this course on how to be how to start a matchmaking ministry is that you can be an agent of redemption and reconciliation as you help people prepare for hope for what Jesus Christ is going to do in their life and the life of that person, that they are matched, so they could serve Him and in many times, they will find another divorce person and who knows, as a minister, you may be able to help that person as well find hope and wholeness.