Video Transcript: Using Online Tools

So one of the most important ways a matchmaker minister can help is by helping your client develop their online profile. Now, I'm going to talk about that in a minute. Before I do, I'll say, hey, all the traditional ways of matchmaking apply, such as helping people network and helping people meet people at church, all of that. So we'll be talking about that at a later time. But today, we're going to focus this presentation on the tools, the online dating tools, the ways in which so many people find or look for their spouse.

So what does the matchmaker Minister do to help? And what can you offer in your ministry? What can you promote, maybe on your website or promote word of mouth? What can you do, given the world of online? Now, first of all, online dating is here to stay.

There was a time I remember when online dating started that people fought that and so not for us. But it is here to stay. That technology is everywhere. They're app, there are matchmaking sites of all kinds shapes that have different perspectives. There are Christian matchmaking sites.

But even on the Christian matchmaking site, that doesn't mean you're going to meet a practicing Christian. So there's some trouble there. So a matchmaking minister comes alongside. And studies from a ministry science perspective. What does the Bible say? What are the best practices of utilizing these tools, and as you keep working with people, you will get even better as a matchmaker minister, to help clients to help your parishioners, those who are looking to you for leadership.

So what will this all include? Well, it will include profile creation guidance. And that can be difficult, because people think often, that their profile speaks one way, but when you get to know someone, you find out that their profile is not truly who they are. And if you have a profile that doesn't reflect the truth of who someone is, that means the connections are going to be wrong many times. 

Now, again, I say all of this, knowing the providence of God, and the power of how God is at work, that sometimes, despite everything going wrong, God comes through His grace, it makes everything right. But that doesn't mean that we should just sit back and not faithfully help those clients that were called to do to accurately connect who they are with their profile. So one of the things a matchmaker minister will do would be to give profile creation guidance.

Another thing, a matchmaker is going to help them filter through the various matches that might come their way and even sort of analyze other profiles and have a discussion. You know, one of the things that so many people have is this concept where they're doing their online tools alone. And when you're alone, and you have no feedback that can create, create decisions that are ultimately hurt you or can hurt you. So a strategy, a filtering of other candidates, and to do that with someone in confidence is really helpful. 

Now many people will share with their friends, the very selection of other profiles, and that's always going to happen. But if you can help someone, utilize the online tools and know what to look for, and maybe come alongside And maybe have like a, when you have a meeting to say to your client, Hey, bring three of your top profiles just to get my opinion doesn't mean you have to do anything you have your friends and all that. But what will happen often is having sort of a North Star Minister that's along someone can be so helpful.

One of the things you'll be also doing is talking about communication strategies. The minister can offer advice on initiating conversations may maintain your respectful and meaningful dialogue, navigating sensitive topics, these are all things we're going to be talking about. They can provide guidance on evaluating and responding to messages from potential matches.

What I have noticed in my ministry, in some ways, matchmaking has always been close to me, because I've seen how many people the Lord has allowed me to connect. Now, have I been 100%? Do people go like, are you perfect at this no sins in the world. But overall, I have seen how when transparent, believers come together, it has been powerful. 

So the Lord has allowed me to bring together offline and online, so many matches. When I say bring together, God did the work. God made the attractions between the couple as a matchmaker minister, we are here to be faithful, we just see God at work. But we also know that there are principles that when follow the Proverbs talks about, you know, heeding good advice, the Proverbs talk about the principles of wisdom. And when someone's doing online searches that is very much needed.

Assessing compatibility, the matchmaker minister can help individuals assess compatibility by potential matches by analyzing share values, belief and life goals. They can provide guidance on asking relevant questions to deepen understanding and discern whether a match aligns with the individual's faith in long term aspirations. One of the things I've heard before love is blind. And often it is blind. But if you can come alongside and help someone see something that could be a danger, or see something that's missed, that could be a huge asset in the brain together a kingdom couple.

A matchmaking minister can also give emotional support and counseling a lot of times the matchmaking process is filled with frustration, rejection, failure. That date didn't go well. Everything was going good. But then one thing was said, I should have said that. And then someone starts self loathing. And they start stop seeing the hope. And here you are the matchmaker minister, providing that hope.

And most importantly, a matchmaker minister is about opening the Word of God encouragement, prayer. prayer. Book of James, the prayer of a faithful leader is powerful.

So many Christians have been so frustrated, they're using online tools. It's not getting anywhere. I have met Christian upon Christian who is stuck. They're not meeting people in their church. Maybe their church that the size is too small, they haven't found a pool. They've even gone and Christian websites, and they've gone out with someone, especially I know of several women who went out on a date with someone from a Christian website. 

And before the night was over, that man on that Christian website was already trying to have sex on the first night. And then it brought failure and suddenly triggers were pushed. But then if we looked at those profiles, even appearing on Christian websites, if you read between the lines, you see that Hmm, this man did not look like he was walking with God. Despite the fact that he was not a Christian website. 

He knew what we all know that pure girls are extremely attractive and desirable and Many people know this. But as a matchmaking Minister, you are here. I've also seen it on the opposite, where men have the thought that they were going to go out with a pure girl in the pure instead of a pure girl. This was someone who adhered to some Christianity. But then her expectations for having sex were high, and she was not practicing the Christian worldview.

I've also seen where, you know, they're sort of ran the border, you know, it could go either way. And then I've counseled believers that even they were uncertain whether they could hold back that sex until marriage and and then they will go out. And because there was a relationship with their minister and it was a confidential one, they stayed pure and could hold having sex until they were married. And it you know, many, many positive things came up because the more you can hold back the passing in a sex in the dating or courtship relationship, the more souls can mend. 

God is glorified as the biblical way of hot monogamy is practiced, and it's in marriage. So again, these are all those factors in as a matchmaking matchmaker Minister, you serve the Lord, but also serve your clients to stay faithful to their own values, to not get caught in compromising positions. And if they do fall, to be able to pray it, be forgiven through Jesus Christ and and be encouraged by you, too. You know what, back to the metaphor of golf I talked about? Yes, you can hit it out of bounds.

But get on to the next hole. The Lord is faithful and justice and he will forgive us our sins. And there's a start over. In Jesus Christ, there's hope. And then the Holy Spirit keeps building. And here's where a minister comes then to help this process even when online tools are being utilized, utilize. So in this section, there's a lot of reading, and I'm not going to come on again and give another presentation. Just go through all the materials.

These materials will give you insights as to how to work with online dating tools. And as you get experienced in these tools, you'll see how the Lord can lead you to bring wholeness to bring sanity to the tools for those who want to use the tools to bring hope for those who are looking for that lifelong soulmate to glorify God as a kingdom partner.