Video Transcript: Dating Etiquette

Many times, people are single and long term single Christians who want to find their life partner, but it never gets past square one. So as a matchmaking, matchmaker minister, this is your opportunity, just like I'll get let's talk about dating etiquette. 

Now, I will tell you, golf is another good example of etiquette. And if someone doesn't abide by the etiquette, there are some people at my specific golf course, that will never, ever play in a foursome with that person again, because they do have practice golf etiquette. 

Now, as a Christian, I will play with someone who walks right in front of my line steps on my line before a putt, someone who goes out of turn without asking permission and all that. I mean, in the end, why are we so critical about people don't follow etiquette. But the reality is, is there's etiquette about almost everything we do. When we're driving, there's etiquette of driving, you know, there's rules of the road and then there's a common etiquette. 

When you pass another car. Each culture has an etiquette of how much distance you should get. And when someone violates that etiquette. Road rage can occur. Dating has an etiquette to and as a matchmaker minister, you are helping them, your clients find the etiquette that works. So let's talk about that. According to the agenda for the dating etiquette, though you start with a Bible passage, and and this particular one is going to talk about boldness, of doing something. 

Okay, so, even though we're going to be talking about etiquette, we put in here a Bible study about the actual boldness, of going through the process of connecting with someone. And even there, there's the etiquette, when you talk to someone, or how you ask them out on a date isn't adequate, but we want to focus on the just go try things. And then we'll develop an etiquette acumen as time goes on.

So it starts out with a boldness Bible study. And then it deals with issues of etiquette. How do you become direct? How do you become respectful? How do you dress for a date? If you're a woman? How do you dress if you're a man? How do you behave on a date? Many people behave on a date and they're not themselves. 

And being up themselves is a violation of etiquette because people's time is valuable, and they want to see the true you. They don't want to see you handicapped. Like in golfer, you have a handicap where it's like you might be this golfer, but you get to be this golfer because they expect that you're not going to be that good so that they make you look better and all that well in real life dating, be yourself that do not fall in love with that handicap self of yourself. 

Let them fall in love with you. But that's all part of the handicap. So that's all part of the etiquette of dating. So that to know that when you actually have that first date, or in in dates, apps, after that, that its a way you do it. And the matchmaker minister can help your client, figure that out. 

Here example, you know, be polite and respectful:-

Don't linger too long after you say goodbye. It's time to go. 

Don't try prolonging the date. That's a form of etiquette. 

Don't be afraid to ask for a second gate date. If you had a good time. 

Let your date know that you'd like to see them again. If you had a good time, and you didn't let your date know you had a good time.They're going into the house thinking that he or she had a bad time. 

So as a matchmaking minister, you are preparing your client for the etiquette of actually going out on dates. We have two readings here. One is a reading about women how to dress, and also a reading on how men behave on a date. 

From a Christian perspective, there are opinions and conversations that need to be talked about. Because how that factors, then in the audience of a Christian, becomes an issue of etiquette. And that's where as a matchmaker minister, you can help your client maneuver some of those issues. 

So, the etiquette, there are even books about etiquette, written from different worldviews in different positions. As a Christian, our etiquette is informed by our worldview. So for instance, a woman who loves the Lord is not going to go on a date, being immodest in her dress. 

Now, I'm going to acknowledge that every place in the world has a different definition of modesty. In some places, if a woman had puts on a dress with lots of cleavage, that would be considered in moderate in other places, that's not considered in moderate at all. 

So again, there's where the local matchmaker minister comes in to sort of make sure that he or she understands what moderation means in the people have faith in that local area. When it comes to how a guy may behave, in some places in the world, men behave this way. And that's acceptable in other places in the world. If a man behaves that way, that is over the top and too forceful. 

Again, each matchmaking minister lives in their area, and you get to help translate what that means. But again, the etiquette of being yourself, the etiquette of some sincere, the etiquette of appropriate, the etiquette of being careful to play that game of dating. I'm using that as a metaphor in a way that's received and doesn't hurt you. 

As someone who's looking for that Christian soulmate. I have met amazing, godly singles who have not found their spouse. And many times it relates to communication issues, but many times it relates to the etiquette of actually going out on a date. 

And how that that mismatch of etiquette occurs is I've even had it where, where there's different definitions of etiquette, where the woman had one concept of etiquette informed by one set of beliefs and the man had another form of etiquette informed by other beliefs, but neither of them actually talked about the etiquette themselves. The best speaker minster can least get into that conversation so their self awareness about etiquette and how etiquette is a factor in courtship and in dating