Video Transcript: Introduction

and how we need to turn to a loving God, Who knows our hurts, our habits, our issues, our lives, so we can move forward in His power and His love and His grace. You see, when we think about

And just to introduce myself, I'm Dr. Mark Vandermeer, from new Community Church, in Grand Rapids, Michigan. And also, I'm the Executive Director of Community Recovery International. And I oversee a recovery ministry that ministers to 300 to 400 people a week, as well as over 1000 people overseas, as we bring recovery ministry, involving the 12 steps and their biblical comparisons, community development projects, and the like, locally and abroad. And so we have opportunity to speak to these issues having to do with tranquillity locally, and also globally.

And sometimes we have people in our lives. And I'm sure you have them who say, "Oh, you've been through that hurt", "oh, you've been through that hang up", "oh, you should be over it by now."

Or perhaps someone close to you dies,

and after a few years, you still haven't gotten over that grief.

Your loved ones are looking at just saying, "What of it? Why haven't you gotten over the grief?"

And often what we want to do is this: we want to hide, get into the shadows. We want to also

not be aware and medicate with addictions, drugs of choice, or just avoiding any of those life issues from before and also currently. It's kind of like

putting it over our eyes, making sure that no one is noticing that we're about to hide from ourselves. And then we put on that trench coat. You've seen it in the movies. And that trench coat,

we put it on to

we are just passing through life as we know it. And no one will see us, no one will notice that we will just pass through until the day of our death and we won't even address and the other end-of-the-life issues.

We won't go there because it's too painful.

Or we have too much anxiety,

or what will other people think. And we just want to put up our collars

and hide. Hide from the inevitable, hide from that pain.

When Jesus says instead, "Come to me take off the hat.

Let me see your eyes. Not your physical

I want to give you new life that brings peace,  where you don't have to avoid the chaos that you're currently living in.

I'm going to give you peace surpasses all understanding, peace as I give unto you." Jesus says, "not as the world gives. But as I give unto you." John 14:27 declares it.

Jesus was not only telling the people then during His ministry on earth, but also today, in 2018, and going forward into the future.

So we put the coat away, we put the hat away.

But that is a process that doesn't just happen overnight; we still put the coat back on, we still want to hide underneath the hat, we will still want to put things hurts underneath our hat.

no one should. No, no, it should have the revelation of what really is going on with you with me, and everybody else. Avoid it.

We all have dark sides, we'll look at five of them in particular that we all need to be aware of, in order to take off the hat and take out the pain so that it doesn't hide anymore. And when you're on the road to recovery on the road to tranquility, on the road to life, as Jesus defines it.

Like in Star Wars as we all know, its Darth Vader talking about the power of the dark side, just come on over.

and then just become part of the force, will become part of the cosmos become, part of whatever you think you ought to be. Because it's going to be chaotic anyway. No, Jesus says to you and to me

this: "Come on into the light.

And you have hope through me."

So we're introducing to you in this video

what domestic tranquility is truly about: the exchange life as God wants us to understand.

I remember back 20 years ago, well, 21 years ago, I was invited to preach at a local nursing home. And at this nursing home, they had a three o'clock church service 

every Sunday afternoon, and I was the preacher young guy coming in. I had Bible and hand, sermon and hand.

Everybody was sitting at these long tables in a big square in the dining room. And we were already into the third hymn and then he came in. Let's just call him Harry. Harry came in in his wheelchair. One of the staff finally got him there. Even though he was late. His hair was everywhere, and so I call him Harry, unkempt,

just his bathrobe and a shirt on at least and, well, covered up and in his slippers. And they rolled him around the tables right up to me.

finishing with the third hymn and and I got into my sermon

this gentleman Harry as he sat 

right here, literally right? A few inches from me.

He was looking at me the whole time. Now for some of you who feel self conscious, you know what I mean. It doesn't feel comfortable. It feels awkward. For myself not so much. I was accustomed to awkward situations like that. So as I'm preaching and, and I'm getting to my first big point as the preacher for the afternoon,

As he sat there, he was listening, what we could tell, and all sudden, out of his mouth, he says, "hurry up!"

and startled me and everybody else in the in the cafeteria. I said, "Amen. Brother, I'm on the way I'm on I'm, I'm hurrying up, you bet."

A minute later, again, "hurry up!"

Well, eventually after saying "Hurry up "a couple more times, which he did, "Hurry up, hurry up."

And I proceeded with the rest of my sermon, the last hymn and dismissal of the service, and many apologies afterwards, of course.

I started to think, wow, that's kind of like life, when we're told to hurry up with our grief, we're told to hurry up  with our pain to get over it in this western society. And some of you live on the other side of the planet. Opposite of the United States, maybe this is similar to in your culture, too. People just expect you to be okay when you're not okay.

And so Romans 3:23.

it says, "For all have sinned and fallen short the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace." So the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

And yet, we do grow up in families where they tell us it's all up to you,

all by pulling up your bootstraps, or, or being the individual, go for the gusto, be

who you want to be, do what you want to do. And often what happens with that is that we fall into what we want. Not what God wants: we fall into our agenda, as opposed to God's will.

looking at God and ourselves. 

We also need to understand that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, as it says in the book of Psalms, Psalm 139. And also we want to look at how God has made us in His image. Therefore, God has a purpose for you. God has a purpose for the people you are working with. And never forget, and always bring up, Genesis 1:26 which says, "Then God said, Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea, and the birds in the sky, over the livestock, and all the wild animals and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

Friends, we are called by God, made in His image with his characteristics, his traits. And later on in this course, we're going to talk about God's traits in you and me. We call temperament God's wiring. The hard wiring is put inside of you, the personhood he's given to you They reflect him right back. Unfortunately, as we know, in Genesis 3, as we read on, that was, well, take this cup, for example. And this cup is male, female, we are made by God. And Adam and Eve, were made perfect in God's image. Then, of course, as we know, as you've taken the biblical theological courses, provided, you've been through that part of the curriculum already, we learn about the fall of mankind. The Fall mankind is where Adam and Eve are told, "Here's the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Here's where you don't go to, don't touch it, don't even look at it. avoid that." But it was a test. And we don't have time to get into the why, and the how. But we know, as God describes it to us through Moses, who wrote the book of Genesis, it was there. And we also know the Adam and Eve failed the test. They decided that I, Adam, and Eve, they took the hammer, because what God was doing was is giving them a hammer. Literally, you can either use the hammer to to contribute, to build, and to continue to build the creation, build the kingdom of God being stepped with God, in total communion with Him, God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, or you can use the hammer destructively. And that's what they did, where they said, no, no, I want to be my own God.  I and they believe the lie that the devil gave them. As we know, he said that no, you can control your own destiny. It's your agenda. Quite honestly, that created more domestic chaos and domestic violence. Because then we can read in Genesis 4 and so on about Cain and Abel, the first murder and the evil of mankind. And that takes us into the areas of understanding who God is, who I am as a person, or the self. And also understanding the people around me, the community around me, how I relate with each person, how I relate with the big group, and how I relate with people in my own home.

Later on in the course, we'll talk about healthy marriage, healthy singleness as well as how to conquer those dark sides daily. And also how to address addictive behavior and also how to employ healthy conflict management. We are complex people, and were made by a God who knew that we will be like Him, but not be him. Which takes us into the whole thing of where God wants us to go. He already knows that we're broken, that the hammer was taken and we were smashed up, thanks to Adam and Eve's choices.

Some of you may be familiar with the bridge illustration. I want to put that on the board. For instance, the bridge illustration, we know that we have man's side, and we have God's side. So as you're sharing the good news of Jesus with someone else, this is the bridge illustration. If you're an evangelist and you're needing a simple way of writing on a piece of paper or a napkin, the good news of Jesus Christ and how God saves us from our own separation from God. Here's a way to translate that here's the way to share it.

God says well, mankind when mankind, male and female, there's death. Of course prior to death, ultimately there's pain, suffering, and so forth. On God's side, there is life eternal. There's also being complete. And also the fact that we have Heaven, to look forward to new heaven and new earth.

And also, too, He is perfect,  bringing peace in who we are as male and female. So mankind and God, in the middle we have sin. And of course, sin is separation. What bridges that separation is Christ. Jesus said He bridges us over to God side. The question we have to ask people who are still seeking God, who are asking questions about him, and who have not crossed the line of faith, who have not given their hearts over to Jesus. Because this is the foundation of it, folks. In the next video, we're gonna get into the biblical and theological foundations that are underpinnings of this. But the main message today is that we need to ask, "Where are you at on the bridge? Are you here? Are you here? Are you over here? I'm almost there. But not quite, I'm still not sure." A person may tell you at the coffee shop. But then others may say, "Yeah, I've crossed that line. And I'm over here because of Jesus Christ, and I have the free salvation. I don't want to hide anymore with the coat, and the hat, or the coke and the dagger. I don't want to worry anymore about the brokenness, that God has the hammer, and he is taking it away. And I have peace, that passes all understanding that takes care of the dark sides, and brings me into the light." Yes, beginning now in this life. Don't wait to heaven for this. It can begin now to bring tranquility, between me and God and between me and myself. And also between me and others. So we're going to look at the whole journey of how that works. It's interesting, because too often, and we still fall into this, we fall into what we call the toddler's creed. And some of you may know this already. For those of you here's a here's the toddler's creed. It says it goes like this: If I like it, it's mine. If I can take it away from you, it's mine. If I had it a while ago, it's mine. Well, if I say it's mine, it's mine. If it looks like mine, it's mine. If you're having fun with it, it's definitely mine now, if you lay it down it's mine. If it's broken, it's yours. Because we're all about self to begin with. And coming back to to the bridge illustration. Again, Jesus says, "I will bring you to life abundant." But we still go through this process because of our will over God's will. And we often, too, we need to determine who we really are. Because in a community, we assume that we're never alone. We're never alone, can't be alone.

One of the things that we're also going to address is the 12 step process. And on the screen today, I want to just share with you a preview of the 12 steps as we look forward to using them in understanding the process of becoming more like Christ, bringing tranquillity into our lives and the lives of others in a God honoring healthy manner. The first way to deal with ourselves, deal with what we want to hide from is step one in the 12 steps of recovery. And these steps have come out of Scripture. In fact, to translate, it comes out of a biblical theological foundation, or foundations. You're thinking, "Oh, that's an Alcoholics Anonymous thing, or that's a Narcotics Anonymous thing, or that's just those people or a recovery thing, or something that's that they do it at the psychiatric hospital." Not true. Too long, we've had that perception. Recovery is biblically and theologically, sanctification. We all have issues, we all have needs, we all have wants. And the wants, the needs, those are natural; God gives them to us. However, he's given us a will. And it comes down to choices. Do we choose God? Or do we choose our will? And that leads us into things that we think we need, but we don't. God provides us our needs. Matthew 6, Jesus says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and and all these other things," all the stuff, he'll add to it, he'll provide for your needs. Look, at the birds of the air, the flowers of the field. God says to you and me, "I will help you overcome those dark sides in your life." We always come to the question however, yes, prayer is the first place the first step and surrendering your heart to Jesus. But beyond that, what's the roadmap? What are the next steps? Speaking of steps, the steps of recovery are applicable in this process of crossing line of faith, becoming fully into the place where God is and following him.

Step one recovery says this: we admitt we are powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, andour lives have become unmanageable. Romans 7:18 says, I know that nothing good was in me, that is, in my sinful nature for the desire to do what is good but I cannot carry it out?

Step two, we may came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. And Philippians 2:13 applies to this: for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose. The life he wants for you is a complete life in Christ. 

Sstep three, we make a decision to turn our wills our lives over the care of God. Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship. So with these first three steps in step four, right through step 12, that takes us specifically into some prayers, and also scripture throughout, where we yield to God, everything. And God begins to work in you and me. And some of the material that we're going to be looking at too, in the course comes from the book, Overcoming the Dark Side to Leadership by Dr. Sam Reima and Dr. Garry McIntosh. Great book, I highly recommend it. I'll have some excerpts from the book posted online with the sessions in addition to books such as Good to Great by Jim Collins, some good things in here about leadership and of course, being a humble servant leader, in addition to other books, such as Thriving Through Conflict, through ministry conflict if you're in ministry, but but in general, thriving through conflict in dealing conflict management, God's way, not our way. I'll also be referencing at times Patrick Lencioni. He wrote the book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, and many other good ones, as well as Dr. Quinton Schultz, who wrote recently, and I highly recommend this book as well, of course, I recommend them all, Communicate Like a True Leader, communicating and like a true leader and he writes on the subject of servant leadership, and all these books are on amazon.com Check it out There probably are some good, used copies so you can get a hold of and go from there. And end with this: as we look forward to looking at the exchanged life, where we give our will over to God  as the 12 steps give us those markers to do so, that roadmap. There's a story about a mother and her sons. And truly as we look at who we are, why we are ourselves, and if you're a person who has just come out of prison, or you've been out of prison for a long time, or somewhere in between, or jail, or you've been through rehab, or maybe you are new in ministry, you're wondering how do I minister, people who are on the sidelines, who are marginalized, or disenfranchised, or  dealing with addictions or just dealing with life? Well, I hope the story helps to put it into perspective as we look towards the adventure of saying, Wow, tranquillity is achievable. Yes, I there is life after prison. I can't come out of my own prison that I put myself into, because of my dark sides. story goes like this.

Three sons left home to make their fortunes and they did very well. One day, the three competitive brothers always trying to one up each other, got back together to discuss the gifts that they were giving to their elderly mother. The first said, I built a big house for mom, proud of himself. The second said, I got a Mercedes with a driver. And the third brother said, I've got you both beat. You know how mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 monks in a monastery, 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for 10 years. And by the way, that's a million dollars for them to train him. But it was worth it. And just think this is the million dollar parent. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parent will recite it.

Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks to the first son, she wrote: Milton,the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room and I have to clean the whole house. Oh, to the second son. She wrote: Marty, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time. So I never used the Mercedes and the driver so rude. To the third son, her message was softer: Dearest Melvin. You are the only son to the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious

A million dollar parrot that the mom thought was chicken, eaten up. You see, it's kind of like our lives, if we don't address the chaos and we don't look at ourselves and become self aware. Look at the wellness that God wants to give to you and me, to put away the trench coat in the hat and to overcome the dark sides to come into the light. We might in fact, just be eating a million dollar chicken that we don't want to eat. God bless you as we go forward. And the journey we're about to take into domestic tranquility