Video Transcript: Talking to People

Welcome back. We're on our journey. MinistryBiz. You launching, going at it  proclaiming Christ. So one of the skills, this is about learning a few skills to start  a MinistryBiz. One of the most important skills is talking to people. Okay? And it  seems so simple, right? So why is talking so important? Romans 14 or 10:14.  How then can they call on the one they have not believed in? How can they  believe in the one of they have not heard? And how can they hear? without  someone preaching talking to them. Okay, so the heart of God's plan to bring  salvation to people? is, of course, Jesus. But how in the world do people hear  about what Jesus did? Unless someone talks to them. Talks. So the heart of the  whole gospel is a talking piece? How do you? How do you create a marriage  opportunity without talking to someone? Right? How do you do parenting?  Without talking to your kids? How do you form friendships? Without talking to  people? How do you have a relationship with God? Without talking and  listening? Right? How do you start a business? How do you have a business of  any sore unless there's some talking to people? So talking is probably the  absolute number one skill that is necessary to actually do anything.  Talking, listening repeatedly sounds like the connection. I mean, really think it  through. And I mean, even if you're on Facebook or on Twitter, they all like,  network, it's all communication. So now, but how do you do that? And, and I  know that some of you are extroverts. You're an extrovert, Henry. I mean, you  see people, you see a new person, and you can't wait to talk to them. And so  you're motivated. You talk to one person, and you get so motivated, you want to  talk to someone else, actually actually cut myself off, right? So I guess I am an  introvert. So I see all kinds of people and I go, I'll let him reach out to them. Yes,  he does. And I like we travel internationally, if people are on the line, now he  doesn't, you know, I will do it, and I can do it. But it takes more energy takes  more, you know, thinking about what I want to do. And so it's a necessary thing.  You know, and I love talking, I love, I'm not a real chit chatter. I like talking about  a particular subject. He goes deep, deep into the subject. So I'm on the  philosophic side of life, psychological side of life. And then I get motivated to do  it. I'm not that motivated to talk about the weather, some sporting activity, or  whatever it might be. But all of those things, all these talking things are like the  grease that oils the relationship possibilities. And so if you're going to start any  kind of MinistryBiz, it involves communication. So we want to talk a little bit  about Wha How does that work? So number one, go to the talking place. And I'll  give you some examples. There's Jacob on the Well, Jesus at the well. And Paul at Mars Hill. Let's just talk about you know, Jacob goes to a well, and he the  well, he, you know, he doesn't know, you know what's going on. He's, you know,  he had to escape his home because he sold a birthright. And now he's off to his  uncle's place and he doesn't know anyone. And he stops at the well and the well was a gathering place. Okay people bring their sheep and so that happens. And  you know, this beautiful girl comes 

Unknown Speaker 4:46 you know, no one can get the lid off the well and it's  probably like a five man job. But when he sees this beautiful girl, he goes, he  just takes his shirt off. And he's lifts that thing  

Unknown Speaker 5:00 And in this whole trajectory of his whole life changes,  right? But but the point is he went to the place of connection where the people  were, that that's exactly what happened to Jesus, Jesus goes to a well  

Unknown Speaker 5:14 in Samaria, this woman comes and offers him water,  and they end up getting into this deep, deep discussion that changes her life,  and perhaps the lives of the people in that area. For ever, spring up, oh, well,  goes on within my soul. Right? So, but it was a meeting place. It was it was, it  

wasn't a solitary, you know, Jesus, you know, everyone's baptized, he went into  the desert for 40 days. That's a place where people aren't, right. But here, Jesus goes to where the people are, and then opportunities to talk happen, right. And  the third example we had is Paul, at Mars Hill, remind you in a minute. So what  

happened at Mars Hill? Well, what is fascinating about Mars Hill is, it's a hard  crowd. And people are talking about philosophic things all day long in Paul goes  over there, and he first of all, notices what they're talking about and notices,  idols that are there. And, and that was his turn to speak to the people. And he  understands where they are as audience. And then he says, I noticed that you  have many gods here. And there's one of them, that's even the unknown god,  just in case you missed one. And then he said, let me share who the unknown  God in this place is. And he is known as Jesus Christ. So it's interesting. I've  been to Athens a couple of times, there's the Acropolis, which is high hill in the  middle of the city. And typically, in the ancient world, they would build their  temples on the highest hill. So if you go to the Parthenon is there. It's one of the  still sort of intact temples that are you can go and see. Mars Hill is just a little hill  to the side of that. So the temple was where all the temple stuff happened. But  Mars Hill is where the Epicurean philosophers and the Stoic philosophers, they  all met there. So this was the place where people went to talk. And so Paul goes to the place where people want to talk. So as you're starting a MinistryBiz, in  what sense? Is this a place where people talk? So for example, the coffee,  coffee is something that brings people coffee is like a Mars Hill, right. And so if  you somehow get into the coffee thing, the goal then is to create an environment where people come to talk, one of the words we use around Christian Leaders  Institute is conversations, creating conversations. We do that with reaching out,  talking through our articles and our blogs and our stories with keywords to  connect to people via the internet, in a coffee shop it's conversations. One of our life coach businesses that we're really excited about is the matchmaking  business where we have actually a class for being a matchmaker. And in really, 

that's one of the things we want to explore, too, how to build a matchmaking  business. Yes, yes. You know, and we have some excellent contacts, and how  to do that in the local church and even receive income for that. But those are all  conversation types. Right? There's so many needs that people have, and  solutions that come from a biblical perspective. And each one of those solutions  is a possible MinistryBiz. Alright, so how number two, find a connection. Give me some examples. Jacob at the well. Jesus at the well. Paul at Mars Hill. So how  did that happen for Jacob, how do you find the connection? Well, that's the  matchmaking. You saw the beautiful girl. But how does you know a scruffy guy  who's been traveling for days? Probably didn't smell too good. And he's sitting  there now. How, what chance does he have? Right? So he saw the need. This  woman comes with the shepherd with the sheep, and there's no one to lift the  thing and no one is helping. So he springs. I help I'll help you out. And so he saw a connection opportunity, right? Jesus at the well right Know, this lady offers him water. And that became the metaphor. Jesus used that as a metaphor. Well, if  you knew who I was, you would ask water from me because the water I give  you, you'll never thirst again. Right? So the metaphor or the physical need,  Jesus turned that into the spiritual needs. Learning how to do that. This is how  conversations go, that you're always people speak one thing, but there's always  a hint of something deeper in what they say, Paul at Mars Hill is a great example to where the need for understanding is universal. They even they even talk  about that, like, what changes world? Philosophy. What changes hearts, you  know, thinking, you know, it's so this is always relevant. So as Christian Leaders  Institute when you take the Christian philosophy class, that could actually be  maybe for life coaching or, you know, who knows what God can do. But it's  conversations. So that, you know, if you think about Paul, he wanders into one  of the most influential cities the world has ever known at that time. And who is  he? Right? He's just some guy that's traveling, how in the world is he going to  connect? And so he's looking around, and then he sees all these statues, and  then he notices the one to the unknown God, and he goes, there's my  connection. There's my in. You have this, he complements them. And then he  makes a connection to their world. In fact, in his little speech, he quotes one of  their poems, one of their poets who wrote something because he's trying to find  a connection to those people. So I go to a coffee shop that has, like, the different philosophies of conversation and Christianity is up there. I can envision, modern day Aerogopolis coffee shop. Right, I want to do you know, we met the church  that I'm the pastor of was an old grocery store, we converted into a church and  the post office is in our building. So and they moved the grocery store to right  behind us in a new building. Right. So we have this huge wall that just says to  the world wall. He doesn't say anything. So I always wanted to put on that wall, I wanted to put two options. And then I wanted to have a quote from Marcus  Aurelius. He was Marcus Aurelius was the late last great emperor of the, from 

the Roman Empire. And he wrote a book entitled, The meditations. And in that  book, he wrote, The life that any man doth live is about a little, and the corner of  the earth that he lives in that too, is but a little. And the fame, that can remain of  a man. That too, is, whilst it is carried on by the succession of silly mortal men  preserved likewise, shall shortly die. So in other words, you know, you live your  life, and people know who you are, and then you die. And some people know  who you are. But eventually, no one knows who you are. So that's one  philosophy of life. And then I thought I'd put on the other Jesus. The  resurrection. I am. Here's, here's the other options you choose. So I think that  was cool at the end of the coffee shop, where he had all these different sayings  of different philosophies, right, that, you know, I'm not just putting the Christian  one up there, I'm putting all the options on the thing. And it's sort of like saying,  inviting people to now talk about things that are deep. Yeah. So you could have  like, Plato Yes, really? Jobs and have a conversation. So which one do you  believe George who runs a coffee shop? I believe in the resurrection of your  life? Really, right? I mean, Jesus, do you believe in Christ, I do. Those  conversations, and the MinistryBiz at the same time. Exactly. So you know, this,  so find that connection thing is something that I learned a lot from you. I  remember, you know, in our early days, I think I visited you and you're in  Colorado Springs. And you said, today, we're gonna go meet people. Okay. So  we went to the grocery store. Remember this? We went to the grocery store and one of my low moments he doesn't know Did he share moments? So he's like,  okay, there was some guy looking at milk. So some guy looking at milk and you  walk over to him. And you notice that he has a Green Bay Packers shirt on.  Right? So then you say, hey, Green Bay, I'm from Wisconsin da ta da ta da. So  there was a connection, right? And then five minutes later, he's telling about his  life, his story. And 10 minutes later, he's giving you his card, because you're  planting a church, and maybe he could get involved. So in 10 minutes, you go  from just some random guy to actually inviting him to church. But it started with  the Green Bay shirt. Right? Or whatever it might be. Let's say he wasn't wearing the green bay shirt. Right? Hey, what milk would you recommend? I mean, he's  looking at milk. Yeah, well, the bottom line is, people are very passionate about  what people are passionate about. And they wear it on their shirt, they wear it on their life, if you actually get to know them a little bit, right? They will tell you  exactly what they're interested in. Right. So I remember afterwards, we had little  discussion. And I said, So what motivates you to do this? Or why do you have  confidence in doing this? And you said, I believe everyone wants to get naked.  There is sort of like back to Adam and Eve, the garden, where things are  perfect. Where people know you as you are and accept you and love you just as you are, and you don't have to hide. And people have had that cover up all the  time. And they're working hard to cover it up. So when there's an opportunity for  someone to actually listen to who you really are without judgment, with concern 

and encouragement. Yeah, they just, they want to, they want to so the key is to  find that connection to get you in the door. Right? Right. And to do it with not  manipulation, with sincerity, with because people will see right through if you  have sort of an angle, right? Some selfish angle, even back to MinistryBiz, if  you're talking to them, because you're more worried about making money from  them. But if you're talking to them, because you want to minister to them, you  also support your family. They sense that too. It's almost amazing how you can  sense when there's someone who has an angle on you, or someone who's so  that really cares. So that's why finding the MinistryBiz that you actually believe in right is the key. If you're doing it just to make money, then people get that. But if  you're doing it because you're passionate about this thing, like you want to talk  about Epicurious, you want to talk about, you know, you've taken our philosophy program here, and you are interested in a coffee shop. As you love these ideas.  They will see that right away. Okay, so number three, ask questions. So here's  one of the questions. I love this question. I know when I started a church. Before we started the church, my wife and I knocked on a bunch of doors. And this is  the one of the questions that we asked, and it's so it's such a good one. Why do  you think people don't go to church? And, you know, if I had knocked on  someone's door, and I said, so why don't you go to church? See, that would be  offensive, right? That would be like, you know, we're, we're creating a wall here.  But if I come to you and say, Look, I'm trying to do something, I'm planting a  church, and you know, something I don't. I want your expertise. So why do you  think people don't go to church, and I found people were eager to tell me that  this is why people don't go to church. And guess what they told me? They told  me why they didn't go to church, right. But But I didn't ask why they didn't. I  asked what they thought, conversation go, right. You have to pin them against  the wall, right? And so now, you know, I'm honoring them. In some ways, I'm  trying to learn something from them. I'm not the expert. You know, a lot of  evangelism is, hey, you need this. And I'm going to tell you about this. So I am  in, I'm looking down at you and you're you know, below me. And I'm trying to no,  I'm now coming to you. And I'm saying, you know, explain this, if you could  explain to this would be very helpful to me. So another question, which is similar. If you were to go to church, what would you like to see there? So that was  always my follow up question. And then what was fascinating about this is just a  curious question. Right. And it's, it's not in your face. I'm not trying to get you to  go to church. If you were to go to church, not that you would But if you were,  what would you want to see that now all of a sudden, the person is thinking  about going to church without me, pinning them against the wall, right. It's in a  creative, curious manner. And so people would say, Well, I remember one guy  said, If you don't have a sermon, I would go to your church, right? Because his  number one objection was sermons are boring and irrelevant. Right? Right. So  that was quite a challenge to me. But it was, it was, it was a way to get a 

conversation going about church, and I found it was very easy to do. Another  question that, you know, Henry, and you and I've used all over the world, is,  what's your spiritual dream? And we have asked this anywhere and everywhere, when in a taxi on the way to the ferry in Ireland, and we're going back to Wales.  On the way we ask the guy, you know, what's your spiritual dream? On the bus,  on the plane, in the park? In a boat, it doesn't matter anywhere. And  everywhere, this culture, that culture. I was in Australia, once I had a free day,  I'm walking some trail. And I was told by all the Christians in Australia that  Australians are anti church, they don't want to talk about church. They're just so  that some guy I just said, See, what's your spiritual dream? And what happens  when people sometimes they go up? What do you mean? And you just say, well, whatever, answer it however you want to. Right. and eventually what they end  up telling you is, what's important to them. Right, and, and how they're  struggling in their spiritual endeavor. And, you know, this guy ended up telling  me about how his grandfather was a solid Christian, and then something  happened in the church, and they got unhooked. And that's how the whole  family got unhooked from the whole thing, right? So here, all of a sudden, he's in a conversation about something that the family dropped 50 years before, it is  just because you're asking serious questions. And even with that, spiritual  dream question, you can make it that indirect way. What do you think most  people's spiritual dreams are? I mean, if you want to really just be safe, you  even like, what do you think most people's spiritual dreams. So now I'm not  even talking about you, (unintelligible) in the wall beginning of the year, okay.  This is something to think about. And, you know, I think too people, people are  searching for significance. People are searching for a conversation that is more  than just how's the weather and what's going on in the political scene, and so  on. Rarely do people have an opportunity to actually talk about something deep, right So if you have curious questions that help people start thinking, you know,  not not pinning, you know, I'm not trying to sell you anything, I'm just trying to  have a conversation with you. If he if you go in and you start selling, then people tend to shut down. But I am curious as to what you think about these things.  Now, the next thing you have is how but then you have make a sale? Yeah,  that's sort of like in your face. It does sort of feel like, okay, and I've got some  ideas of what you should do get a phone number, and set up another meeting,  get a card. Those are the things I saw you do, right. So, always in the  conversation, we do have something in mind, we do have something that we're  trying to, again, is making the sale. Now that can be negative when I'm thinking I need to make a sale because it helps me. Right, right. Right. Right. So  sometimes when you're, you know, salesman is talking to you, you get the  feeling that he's gonna say and do whatever it takes to get you to make this  sale. Right, then you have someone who's just trying to help you. Okay,  someone is trying to help you with something. And, you know, they're gonna 

come over to your house and help you paint your house. Right? Are they making a sale? Right? In some ways they are because I'm trying to help you. And I'm  trying to get you to say yes, I'm trying to get you to say let's do it Saturday, but  I'm actually coming over to help you right, right. So if you have that mentality my  whole goal is to help you not make some sale that that that somehow promotes  me right somehow helps me I like that you put to make sale because I think you  need this partner discussion in This is a stop, I had a conversation. I'm just  leaving, lay. But really what you're really saying is make an influence, right out  make a relationship, make a next conversation, actually, is just not the curious  part. It's the doing part, right And in some ways we English, we say make a sale, right make sale? Because we get that you have to follow up, right? Do  something, yes. If there's no follow up, then the conversation is just sitting there.  And you're really, you're raising up all these questions to them. And you're  offering them nothing. Right? So, and a lot of times people conversation will  naturally go to this place. Right? As you're talking about these things, he's  sharing things. And if you listen long enough, if you actually try to, you know,  understand a person's position, often, they're the ones they'll be asking. So what do you do about right? So how does you know when I do premarriage  counseling, And I talked to you know, I asked them, Why do you think their  marriage is gonna last? And they say, Well, it's because we love each other. And we talk all the time. And I say, Yeah, you know, every couple I've ever met would say that, right? And yet, 50% of them are wrong. Does they end up in divorce  anyway. So what makes you think your marriage is going to last? Well, you  know, but we're special. We're, yeah, I hear that same thing too everyone thinks  that they're special. And the reason they're getting married is because they like  each other and they talk things through and they work things out. But 50% of  them are still wrong. So what makes you think yours is going to last? I don't  know. How do you know? See, finally I'm to the place I've listened long enough  to where they're actually interested in an answer of some sort. So really, making  the sale is not like okay, I have to now force a sale on you. You're the one  coming to me wanting to know what some options might be. Another MinistryBiz  because we have on the docket is the marriage. officiant you know, actually in  your community, do you know, do the ceremonies for marriage? Do some life  coaching in, you know, people and we already have many of you already have  that MinistryBiz going and I can give some some names of extremely successful MinistryBiz People who support their family, by being officiant at weddings, and  then in the process. Someone comes to them, they make the sale. They actually say, Can we get an appointment to actually talk? And here's what I can do. And  then conversations occur. And many of you have told testimonies about how  leading people to Christ, a large amount of people to Christ. So now they say,  look at this, you could plant a church in a coffee shop, have a matchmaking  service. Where are you sell and promote Bibles, and do weddings. I mean, how 

cool is that MinistryBiz Walmart. So again, these are all we say all these things,  to just keep you thinking about talking and listening. connected to your passion.  All right, okay. Well, we'll move on now to the next subject. And I can't wait to  see what is it