Video Transcript: Contact Management

Welcome back. So we talked about talking to people. But in some ways, there's  an organization to talking to people that we probably have to pay attention to if  we want to have a ministrybiz. But before we get to that, I want to know, if you  listen to the lecture on talking to people, did you go out and try to do it? Right,  because we're giving you all this information. But it's just going to go in here, it  has to somehow go out there. So hopefully, as you're listening to these things,  you're starting to put some of them into practice, right and getting confidence is  you have to practice confidence, you're not going to do it. So just like anything,  any skill, skills are things that you learn, you have a personality maybe you're  born with, but a skill is something that is just based on experience. Do it enough  times you can learn it. Right? So we're gonna talk about organizing your  speaking to people. So we're going to talk about contact management. What is  contact management? Contract Management, is the process of tracking with the intent of pursuing a growing relationship with someone towards a specific goal,  or purpose. Wow, that is, when Pam proofread this, she said, that's a really long  sentence. But I can't take out any words. I went for a long sentence. It's the  process, right? Where we're trying to we're talking to people, okay. So we can  just randomly talk to people curious questions, right. But a lot of times, when we  just do things in a random way, it doesn't add up to anything, right. Whereas,  when you when you're trying, when you're focused on something, if you're in a  business, and you're trying to talk to a client about your business, you're not  talking about everything under the sun, your goal is to help him with his  particular problem. And you think what your company does will help them right.  So but but, but talking is sort of a repeated endeavor, right? That, that things  happen over a longer period of time. Now, a lot of the contact management we  have going in life is just natural. For example, the content management system  that I have in my home with my wife is we live in the same home, right? So we  sleep in the same bed, right? So every day, I see her we have breakfast  together, we have certain activities that we do together every, it doesn't matter  what we end up doing in a day, we end up coming to that same place in our  home in some ways, is our management system. That keeps the conversation  going and going and going in over a long period of time. We have a relationship  that's strong, and we know each other and we can meet each other's needs.  And that's true in ministry it's true in business as well. Right. So we've talked  many times about the wheel. You know, so the wheel of your marriage, you  know, is the proximity of the contact manager is the home. Right? So but you  actually, you know, if you lived 1000 miles apart, that would not be good. No. So  then you would need a different. So some married couples are like that, right?  They, they live in two different states or two different areas. I have some friends  in the Philippines. You know, the wife is in the Philippines, and the husband  works on a cruise ship. And he's gone for two years. So how do they what's their contact management system? Their proximity, their, you know, some kind of a 

Skype thing, or they're, you know, they're emailing each other or their Facebook  thing and the you know, they seem so they have to find a way to manage their  contact system. Everybody has to do that. Right. So, you know, some examples  are ministry, whether it's discipleship or evangelism. evangelism and  discipleship are ongoing things. You don't just disciple someone with one  conversation, right? Discipleship is a multi conversational system. And how are  you going to do that? How do you manage that? If you just sort of randomly do  it? It doesn't happen. And the same thing with evangelism, you know, you start a conversation with someone, and then you never talk to them again. Right. How  does it work dating? Same thing it's it's a process, a relationship building or a  business. It's always a process relationship, and something has to manage it, or  it ends up falling apart. Interesting. I remember you years ago saying, What is  the difference between discipleship and evangelism? And in the proximity of  that, so, contact manager for discipleship is often the program of the church,  where you come and you run through the Bible study, worship every Sunday,  sort of, sort of enabled easily. Yes. Because church, in some ways is a contact  management system. So yes. Right. But then, but evangelism if you're not  intentional, right, right. There's not an easy proximity to people living 1000 miles  apart. Right, you have to be intentional about that kind of management. So  churches often have a lot of discipleship, contact management going on. But  they have very little in the evangelism department like having monthly fun times  to invite people having, you know, curious questions that are going to go out.  Handing out Bibles with your church's cover on it, so that people in other words,  enabling the people of your church, to have excuses to manage their contact  with people that they're trying to reach. A lot of times churches fall short on that  side of it, I'm going to level on the ministrybiz opportunity is that you can be  transparent, that a ministry, contact management process, if you are interested  in things like Bibles, if you're interested in a mailing lists for discussion group at  the coffee shop, just sign up here. So they will actually opt in to the system.  Willingly, right? Okay. What is that? Tumble guy? Oh, amen. Guy in we met in  England. Oh, yeah. Okay, the alpha course is sort of like that. It was sort of a  system to invite non church people to, and it was over several weeks. So that  was like a contact management system for evangelism. Why is this whole  contact system necessary? The principle of Little by little, Proverbs 13:11,  dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money, little by little,  makes it grow. So there's a principle of the little by little Right, right. And the a lot of people want to get rich quick. And that forces them into all kinds of crazy  things. And people end up only relationships that are like me, right? So that  principle of little by little in terms of relationships. I mean, if you think about often for people dating, you know, find trying to find your mate is a process. And you  discover who each other is, little by little over time. Even after you get married,  it's still a little by little process, you learn how to walk little by little, you learn how

to talk little by little, you develop friendships, little by little. So. So the reason why contact management is necessary is, as most relationships grow little by little  right? It doesn't happen all in one shot. So if you think about friendship, Henry,  you know, your early friends you made at school, right? And school was a  contact management system, you met with that same group, five days a week,  for nine months, right? Even if you shared nothing in common with a worldview,  nothing in common in your faith. You're with them, and you get to know them.  And somehow, over time, you ended up with friends, the contact management  system that brought us together is we were both into church planting, right, and  our denomination called us to evaluate potential church planters. And they put  us in the same room for three days. And what happened, we ended up talking  and listening and sharing, and all of a sudden, we follow it up, right for me. And  then we started a nonprofit together. So all those things happen little by little. So  when you're studying a ministrybiz whatever it is. You're doing To sell coffee,  you're going to go to churches and sell coffee. You're going to go to churches.  And sell Bible covers, it happens little by little, it's getting to know the person is  listening to their story, you know, you can't come in and say, hey, I want to sell  you Bibles, look at my Bibles. Or you can start with saying, hey, what do you do  for? What do you give to people that come to your church that are visiting?  Right? What do you do? And maybe I can help you? And maybe I can't, right?  But instead of coming in with my solution to a problem, you may or may not  have I listened to you first. Do you feel that is easy to defy that. I mean, I think a  lot of us, I mean, that's what Facebook, and I like being on social media and all  that. But I think that there's some fool's gold, that seems to be thrown out for  people to defy little by little. Yeah, I think, you know, we're just impatient. You  know, we're used to, you know, microwave. You it on and there it goes, we have  instant rice. We, everything is fast, and we're on the move, we don't want to take the time. And so we want to quick. We want it quick and, but most things like  parenting, parenting takes a lifetime of being consistent, to actually turn up the  child that you want to turn, but we want to do it. Like we ignore our kids for an  entire year. And then we take them on a really great vacation. I think we can  make it up in one week. Even with social media ministry that many of you have,  even there's little by little and but I want to talk about Danny. So we've done  Christian leaders church. And it's always amazing to me, like how many people  watch, but I always feel like that doesn't really count because I don't really know  them. Now, in the sense in social media is a different kind of relationship. But if I  had that mentality, even there little by little, I believe we will be more effective  because we have like a chat and a conversation. And then notice now that  there's a certain amount of people who are drawn to it. Some people who are  shut-ins, who don't get out. And, and those are valid relationships, in terms of  they're no different than physical on one level. And they're different on another  level. But even there, the little by little really makes a big difference. Pastor Irwin,

who's very connected with Christian Leaders Alliance, have a ministry online  and gathered, other leaders do online ministry, but it's still little by little, and he  has seen that. And he does very well with that ministry. Right. The tendency, I  think, is to just pour into this person, then pour into that person, do this, do that  we're like scattered. And then our effectiveness is sort of watered down. Right?  It's, it's when you concentrate on a few people, and you keep coming back to  them over again, that a relationship and the potential for ministry happens. So  really, why does it work? Well, how does it? Or how does? How do you? How  does it how? Yeah, how so? Well, what we'll share is just sort of a basic outline  of how, whether it's ministry, whether it's business, whether it's friendships,  whether it's parenting, whatever, it doesn't matter. This is sort of how all things  work. So first of all, there's the finding prospects. Okay, so I don't have a wife,  and I need one. So I'm looking for a prospect. Right, right. So there's these. I  went to Calvin College and all these different people. So how do I? In a sense  the college is the contact Manager, managing a system or giving me the  potential to do something? But now I need to find prospects. If you're starting a  church, you don't have people. So how do you find if you're starting a coffee  shop, your coffee shop is no good if you don't have anyone walking into it, right? How do you get people walking into your coffee shop? How do you get how do  you sell coffee to churches? How do you sell Bible covers? How do you do any  business? How do you have any relationship with a matchmaking ministry is  really a prospecting ministry. Because there's a lot of prospects you need to  meet Right? Right. So number two is okay. You have to you have to somehow  connect. Right? So, if we're talking about the dating system, you know, I saw my potential wife, she was walking into the cafeteria, she looks pretty good to me. I  saw her earlier playing the piano. And that's one of the music was a value to me. So here's this person that I really want to get to know. But how am I going to do  that? There has to be a meeting of some sort. And I was kind of shy. So I talked  to a friend of mine, to talk to her roommate to ask her roommate out, and then to ask her roommate to ask her out for me. There's a lot of different ways to set up  the meeting. There's a coffee shop, how do you get people to actually come into your place? Right? If you're selling something you're in, I remember when you  went out to Oregon, one of the things that you tried was, you know, your, your  Reyenga, I'm Elzinga. Those are Dutch names. And so you hauled out the  telephone book, we had telephone books back then. And you just looked up the  Dutch names, like the ones, you Bender this and so you just called and said,  Hey, I'm Dutch, you're not? I'm starting a church. What do you think? I mean, it  was your way to get into the door that invited them over to the house. So then  the guy became the treasurer of our church, and both of them became new  Christians. Right? So but if you're just talking to them on the phone, and didn't  somehow go to that next step of saying, Hey, can we meet? Can we go golfing?  Can we can we? Can we, you know, the neighbor that we got to come to our 

church in Vancouver, who then got like, 20 families to come to our church. But  the first time was, let's play tennis together husband and wife, right? And then  they came over. So it's some kind of a meeting and some kind of a connection.  So you're first looking, you're trying to find ways to, you know, and there's  marketing, there's Facebook ads, there's all these different ways of finding  prospects. But a lot of ways Christian leaders, you found us probably maybe  through a Google search, or Bing search, or you maybe on Facebook. So that's, you know, in the sense finding prospects, we are finding prospects, you have  prospects, who are interested in a ministry dream, but ultimately, we set up a  meeting Well, Getting Started class is such, you know, so many now, we're  gonna start there, we're talking really, because we've been meeting often, you  know, where we've traveled around Africa, wherever we go, we meet people that we've never personally met. But we already have a connection we do, because  we've been meeting already. Alright, so number three, ask for a commitment. In  other words, we're not just meeting, we're trying to get to a point where we can  actually help you with something, right. So in sports, you know, I play pickleball,  you know, I meet someone, and then, you know, we were talking, but then, hey,  do you want to play a game? sort of a commitment to join, to be a part of  something that that might may not happen right away. It may take a long time.  But people actually are looking for this. You're actually asking them to be a part  of something. It's like you're inviting them in. Right? It's not not to think of it like  sales. I, I want to make some money. So I'm trying to sell you this thing. We  don't want transaction. Right? Interesting. I am inviting you into the thing. I'm  inviting you into this. It's like a bunch of people are doing some fun things. And  you're standing there on the outside, and I'm coming to you. Hey, who are you?  What are you? Hey, would you like to join us? Like you want to join us to be a co influencer of others? Yes. You know that we want to give you an opportunity to  know who you are in Christ, and impact your own family. So don't think about it.  Like I'm pushing you to do my thing. I am inviting you to be a part of something.  Most people are lonely. They're not a part of thing. Most guys especially don't  have a really good friend. Most people are living quiet lives of desperation. They  have relationships with television shows and movies, and they're living a  vicarious life somewhere else because no one invites them. Alright, number  four, if if a client is committed, or if they accept your invitation, set up a follow up  meeting discuss the next step number five, let's get to number five. If a client is  not sure, set up a follow up meeting to discuss further. In other words, this is that whole contact management thing that Little by little by little, we get there. But lot  of times we do the first thing. And then we drop the ball, even discipleship in  churches. So people will do the first thing they'll invite, they'll come to church,  they go to the introductory class on becoming a member. And after that  everything is dropped, right? People grow little by little down and bring up a  previous discussion and implied here as well. This is why it's essential not to do 

a mission oriented, as opposed to an indigenous oriented approach and your  philosophy and passion in your talking to people. If you like do an admission,  one, you likely will not invite someone at the soup kitchen that you ministered  there to your house, to use your bathroom, right? I'm just being very practical.  

However, if let's say you're part of like a golf or golfing little group, or you're part  of pickleball, or you're part of, you know, a library group, and you're laughing  together, and what it is likely that you will create a proximity to invite that person  to your house. Right. So you the whole goal here is to develop a relationship.  Yes. And if ultimately, you're working with people that you're never going to want to have a relationship with, then then you're doing the mission thing, I am doing  this to you for person, but I'm really not inviting you in my life. And you know  what, people figure that out. How many people are going to a church, they're  there for six months, and after six months they go to church is really, really  friendly. But I still don't know anybody. I've not been to anybody's house, no one  invites me to anything. And so they're friendly on Sunday. But they really don't  want those people in their life. And I've noticed that when you count on mission  attitude, the people that you reach in that way, almost feel resentful. They feel  like you give me a fish. But you're not giving me a pole. You. You say that we're  a friendly church, but you lie to me, right? This is a serious issue here in  Christianity has gotten into that trap again. And again. I mean, we have to get  out of that trap. And what we create is independent. Right? So I'm helping you,  I'm the person in charge in control, and I'm helping you. And then you need the  help. So you accept the help. And then six months later, you're like, how come  we're not friends? And but it's something that I created. Right? So then  sometimes I have to tell people like that, that someone did that to them. And  they're in the church, I say, Well, okay, what happened is you became a  dependent. If you're a dependent, you're not a friend, right? If you don't want to  be a dependent, and you have to stop being a dependent, right? Because  friendship is built on mutual give and take, right, we have a friendship. And it's  given take, we're not dependent on you're not my dependent, like I have to keep giving but you never give back. A friendship is always mutual. If it's not, it's a  dependent relationship. And if it's a dependent relationship, it's tiring, right? I can only have so many dependents, right? And then you're done. So it's better to to  actually work at towards friendships, people that can to help them so that they  can be a help to others and help to you write at the Content Manager place  something like this needs special attention, because I've even seen it where  people church planters, their contact manager system is for their mission. And  then their indigenous thing is their own little like, it just kind of goes where it  goes. But there's not intentionality there, right. So so the whole goal with contact management, again, is to create relationships towards a specific purpose, which is your ministry. So, so getting a sense of what you want to do, and who you  want to reach is needed.