Video Transcript: Personal Qualifications Part Two

Welcome back. And we're going to continue our discussion on the qualifications  for ministrybiz. So we're looking at I Timothy 3. And we're at, we're at at this  qualification, being respectable. That's what does that mean? Respectable  means that you warrant someone's respect, and that they look at you, and they  see your sincerity in the Greek word, I studied each of these three words, it says that they see the sincerity of your heart. And when you talk, they know that  you're of sincere hearts. So you're like, you're in this. And you're in this because  you love people, you're in this because even in ministry, that you are someone  Someone wants to follow, right? So could it also be that in some ways, you have the quality of Jesus that they see Jesus, that's exactly that sincerity of walk,  sincerity of words, when you make a joke, it's not a passive aggressive people in during a joke to you. And sometimes they're do a passive aggressive joke at  you. And then you can fight back so easily with having a respectable demeanor.  And remember, you're, you're trying to do a business in the ministry at the same  time. So your, I guess, respect kind of fits both, I mean, you're not going to do  very well, in the business side, if you don't respect your customers, and you  certainly aren't going to have a chance to do ministry with them, unless you  respect them. And the hard part is, you know, like, in business, they say the  customer's always right. Because sometimes it's really hard to respect a  customer that is, you know, demanding, and unforgiving. You know, wants more  than, than they deserve, and all those things. But as a business owner, you're  always like, trying to, trying to help deal with people. But but it's also true in  ministry, that we need to respect where a person is at, they're not where we  want them to be. And to respect where they're at. So if you, if you disrespect  them, then you're done with them, and you know, they're not going to be coming back. And then where's your witness then. So to have the patience, to let them  be who they are, let the discussion go where it goes, again, that principle of  Little by little, maybe we can, you know, get them to a different place. I  remember researching the sincerity thing too some that was your non-verbal  language, your body language. Like you can even have like talking to someone,  you have your arms closed. And since you might be looking at them as if you're  listening, right or communicating, right? You're not respecting what they I  remember, I remember at a, at a seminar or something, it was at a big place.  And it was a big auditorium. And the speaker had a, an atheist on stage. And he  was, like having a dialogue with that guy. And then it was opened up to the  Christian crowd, right. And the Christian crowd was horrible. Because the atheist guy was sort of poking. And you know, and people were responding in kind, and  poking back. And, you know, hitting hard, instead of I mean, here's an atheist  comes in the middle of this lions den, from his point of view. And the lion went  after him, instead of like, respecting his position, and, you know, presenting  Christianity in a winning manner, right, and let the chips fall where they may.  Right. So I think often, you know, just by listening and walking with someone 

asking curious questions, you're showing respect to someone and in the end,  respect, I think wins the day and God says the word to do his work yeah, just  that you're not going to be the big difference maker. Right. Just trusting that God has this in hand. Okay, hospitable, a leader is hospitable. I have nothing more. I  mean, really, in fact, is the Text has the word given to hospitality and what's  fascinating. It's almost like surrendered to hospitality. It's like hospitality oriented. The DNA of your life is hospitality. And I follow that and Rich And Helen DeVos  Oh, no questions like come on over. Let's eat. They gave that hospitable vibe,  whatever they went through, I did you know, one of the richest people in the  world. And I know one of the habits that he had is whoever was coming over, he  would spend time to know everybody's name. So he would sit down ahead of  time and go who's coming, this person, this person. So when you walked in the  door, he greeted every single person by name now, did he have to do that? No,  but he wanted to honor every single person. Remember, we went to the Orlando Magic game, Orlando Magic. And he would take time to talk to anybody and  everybody. I mean, people taking the tickets would come up to him and show  pictures of their grandkids. And we're all standing there waiting to go to our seat. And he is taking all the time in the world to give this person undivided attention.  And it was an that is incredibly effective. Yes. And we've you have a life coach  business. And you. You share hospitality. I'm telling you, they're there wanting to  be part of that winning combination. Of course, coffee is like the hospitable  environment to work in the whether, in matchmaking ministry. All of the ministry  itself is really church planting. Yes. If churches would just practice, hospitality,  alone, I believe one we planted a church. Dr. Feddes and I. Our only evangelism program was hospitality, right? Having people in the house to church. It's crazy.  All right. Able to teach. Well, that's right, and able to articulate concepts, able to  be able to be respected in your ability to articulate the concept, right? That's  right. You're learning, you know, things to say. And, you know, what else is  influence? Or not? You know, teaching is really saying, I have something that  might help you. Right? And, and to be able to do that you're really saying, I am a leader, follow me in this direction, which takes a lot of competence, to be able to  come to someone and say, I know something that maybe would help you, right?  You're really saying, Come and follow me? And why should anyone follow you?  Right? Unless you have something. So that's why we're so big, you know,  getting as much education as you can. Because the more you learn, the more  confident you will be. And the more tools and things that you will have to actually help people in being able to teach is not being the answer man in Any of these  subjects, is being one who helped someone in through a journey in the subject,  as a difference are able to teach aptly. Sometimes teaching is just asking the  right question that people learn more when you ask them questions, they stop  and think for themselves. Often, if you can get them to articulate what you want  to teach them. Right, then you have some that's, that is effective teaching. 

That's very good. All right. Not given to drunkenness. I think there are a lot of  applications to that. Not only alcohol, marijuana, prescription medication, but I  also think it could be it's a little different than temperance, to moderate  temperance, moderation, sort of your whole life. But this is a child of that ina lot  of ways that you on things that are particularly addictive. And there are a lot of  them right, that you do not go like, it's sort of a little bit of a contrast here, given  to hospitality, not given to drunkeness. So there's these types of plays like no  that you're not even interested in something that would maybe bring dishonor  even to your very business. Why do you think that we're prone to addictions? I  mean, what's the mechanism there? Well, part of it is kind of idolatry a little bit.  We comfort so god, okay, so we want to give ourselves to something. Right?  Because in a way, addiction is worship because the worship is not bad. Right,  but who you worship, right? It's the difference. So why why do people pick things that hurt them? To worship, right? I mean, people think they need it. They need  like, Okay, you're really Tired, you feel like? You just want to deaden off. It. It's, I  guess what you said it's like a pseudo God right? It promises something  deliverance is promises salvation, right? Because you drink and all of a sudden  your troubles go away. That sounds like it feels like salvation. But over time it's  salvation with a bite. Right? And maybe that's, you know the lie of Satan, right?  To God say that if you you can't eat any fruit from the garden I mean Paul once  said, take a little wine into your stomach. But oh, so it's okay if the Bible says  you could have a little wine, but then it just makes me feel so good. A little bit  more wine makes me feel better, yeah, a little bit more. Right. And soon, it's  become a god, I do think a boundary is here too back to moderation in this one,  put them together. You know, if you own a business, and you get a DUI, it hurts  you. If you if you get arrested, it's so embarrassing, but it does hurt your  business. And I have been a pastor to leaders where they made mistakes in  some of these areas. And it hurts their ability to do business and ministrybiz it  would hurt your ability. not violent, but gentle. You know, the Greek word for that  is not a striker. So anger, if you're an angry person that is going to come out in  your ministry, in your relationships. I remember a friend of mine who bought a  food truck. He's gonna go to fairs, and I helped him a few times went to the fair  and but he would you know, and what happens is at the mealtimes is like mass  chaos, right? All of a sudden, everyone's there for a while, there's no one there,  right? And he wasn't that organized. And his whole family was working. And he  would get so angry at everybody because they're not doing it fast enough or  whatever. And there's all these customers are sitting right out there. And there's  a shouting match going on inside the food truck. As you know, in the end, anger  doesn't work with your staff, it doesn't work with your customers, it doesn't work  with your family. With you. You know, anger is often a symptom of another  problem that should be taken care of. Often it's a problem of unfairness. Things  aren't right and you can't deal with it. And then you basically are taking it out on 

other people. We have an anger management class now that amazing class to  take and just prayerfully if that is a struggle for you. This is a great opportunity to win that out of your life. Because it will destroy everything in your life. Not  quarrelsome. Quarrel it's related to anger and somewhere but there are people  that just quarrel. And if you're in ministrybiz quarreling distracts you from your  dream and your purpose. Yeah, you're always picking a fight. I think for some it's sort of a mechanism to, to self esteem. If you were raised in a family where  there was a lot of yelling and screaming, and fighting, and those kinds of things.  It's like your self esteem is built on winning a battle, right? And so you have to  win at everything. And so every one is your enemy. Every one is someone to  defeat. And that's where you end up feeling good about yourself. And it's really  hard to build a team. It's really hard to be hospitable. It's hard to start any kind of ministrybiz. If you're always the person that has to be the one that's right, the  one that's always winning, the way you see it is the way it must be said. and a  lot of times with that kind of person, you may win the battle. But you lose the  war, right? You you lose your marriage, you lose your family, you lose your  business. And maybe in the moment you think you won the argument, but  people just stop talking. That doesn't mean you won anything. Right. So it's  again, it's accepting people as they are. It's trusting that God is going to work in  ministry to you. You can be disappointed with Church members, you can be  disappointed with the pastor, you can be disappointed with the helpers. People  are who they are. And they fall into the sin that they fall in. And I mean, I do too.  We all have our issues and problems. Thank God, we need a savior, we all need a savior. So accepting people with a measure of grace, rather than getting angry at them. And, you know, having to win every argument. We don't have to win  every argument. In fact, over the long haul, you'll convince more people by what  you do, than what you say anyway. Not a lover of money. Feels a little intuitive  because you're starting a ministrybiz. you want to support yourself. And from a  ministry standpoint, a lover of money would not be a good thing. From a  business standpoint. It seems like it would be. But my guess is that even in  business, if you love more if you love money more than the product you're  selling, right? See, then it's going to come out in your ministry. And now you're  phony, you're just trying to make a sale. And in the end people get that, right. I  mean, the businesses that really succeed, are the businesses that actually  believe in what they're doing. Right. And they believe that it is good for people.  This is a blessing to people. And the money is something that happens when  you do a good job of helping people. But it does not motivate you. Right? You  know, I will tell you, some of the biggest train wrecks of business of people that  I've seen is people who did it because you know, I'm going into that business to  develop businesses. Right. And they if they did do well began golden handcuffs.  And if they hated it and if it did not do well, because everybody saw that all they  were in for was the money, right? And in the end, when is enough money. You 

know, if money is your goal, there's no end to that. And if you see if ministry is  your goal, there's no end to that. But that's like a higher calling. And the cool  thing about the ministrybiz is if you do a really good job of helping people, you  can maybe support your family as well. Alright, so that's it for this one. One more session, and we'll continue with these qualifications as we find them in I Timothy 3.