All right, take control of your parenting. In this session, we're going to be looking  at how you can give your kids the sense that they are not the center. Humility,  really, I guess, how can your kids be a little bit more humble? The problems with self centered kids. We'll start out with the word selfish. II Timothy 3:2-4 talks  about people becoming selfish for People will be lovers of self. lovers of money,  proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents. A lot of that going around  ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous without self control,  brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of  pleasure, rather than lovers of God. selfish. Selfish, is selfish children do not  care who they hurt to get what they want. When a person is being selfish, they  are willing to do stuff. And they understand that as they do that, it probably might hurt somebody. But they do it anyway. Because they're selfish. So selfish, is  when you knowingly do something for yourself, and it hurts someone else. And  we do. We're selfish all the time. Second, is self absorbed. Okay, problem with  self centered kids, they become selfish, or they're self absorbed, self absorbed  is a little bit different. self absorbed children do not mean to hurt anybody as  they go after what they want. They are just so self absorbed, that they have no  idea that they're hurting others to go after what they want. I don't really know  which is worse, is it? Is it worse to say, you know, I want something and I don't  care if I hurt you? Or is it worse, to say I want something and I end up hurting  you and I end up hurting you because I'm not even thinking about you. I mean,  at least the selfish person is aware of other people, and they just don't care. But  the self absorbed person isn't even aware. They don't even know that they're  hurting other people. They're so absorbed with themselves. Proverbs 18:2 fools  find no pleasure in understanding, but delight in aiming their own opinions. So  self absorbed people are always focused on themselves. Problem with self  centered kids is to become self aggrandizing. Another big word, but what does it mean? I Corinthians 10:24. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every evil practice self aggrandizement is, I am self  centered. And what I care about is me getting ahead. And if I have to, in order  for me to get ahead, I put you down to get to raise myself up, then so be it. A lot of a lot of adults are this. And they don't mind trampling on other people in some, in some sense, capitalism is this, you know that my business is going to  succeed and your business is going to go under. But people will take that to their relationship level. And, and kids will do this, you'll see kids playing. And they're  willing to take you know, in order to get what they want, and make themselves  feel important. They're willing to have everyone else feel less important. So you  got the Bossy child who's bossing everyone around because it makes them feel  important. But it takes away the importance of everyone else. Number four, self  entitlement. self centered kids are entitled, they're self entitled, I have things  coming my way. And my favorite stories. My favorite story in the Bible is the  story of the of the two sons, the parable of the two sons, one son, you know, 

wants his inheritance early. So he takes the money and he runs and he spends  it wildly ends up with nothing. And then he says to himself, you know, back  home even the servants have it better than I have. But how am I gonna go back  home I've offended my father, my family, everybody and you know, how am I  gonna waltz back there. So he comes up with a confession. I'll confess, father,  I've sinned against you and heaven make me one of your hired servants. So he  comes back. But much to his surprise, his father meets him. You know, a father  in that time period did not go running anywhere. He goes running to his child,  puts his arms around, puts a ring on his finger, accepts him back as a full son.  The son doesn't really know what to do, but he confesses, he says, father, I've  sinned against heaven and against you. He confesses what he rehearsed. But  he leaves one part out, he doesn't say, Make me as one of your hired servants,  because it wouldn't make any sense. He's already been made a son. So why  does the son confess? He's already got what he wanted. He was going to  confess to get, but he's already got it without the confession. So why does he  confess? He confesses, he says, I'm sorry. He says he's sorry, because you  know what? He's truly sorry. And he's truly sorry, he makes his confession not to get anything. But just because he feels bad. He feels he knows that he's not  entitled to anything. And that everything that his father is giving him as just a  bonus. Okay, that's the non entitled, mentality, I don't have anything coming to  me. And anything that comes my way is just a blessing that I don't deserve. And  I am willing to do whatever it takes to bless others because of it. You see, there's the unentitled attitude. But there's another son in the story the older son, he  doesn't go off, he doesn't spend his father's money, he stays home and he  works hard. He sees that there's a party and asks well what's going on. And the  servant says, well, your brother he came home and your dad is throwing a big  party, and the older son is upset. So now the Father Father had to go to the  younger son, and now the father has to go to the older son comes out and says, Hey, what was the deal? You're invited Come on. And the other son says no you know, I've been working. I've been slaving for you all these years. And then you  this, this son of yours goes off and squanders everything that you've given him,  and he comes home and you throw him a party. And the father says, Son  everything I have is yours. already. You can have a party anytime. But we had to celebrate your your brother was dead, and now he's alive. He was lost. And now he's found. Jesus was telling this story to the Pharisees and the teachers of the  law, because Jesus was eating with the sinners. And they said, Oh, this guy eats with the sinners. And Jesus says, Yes, I am. And you know what, you're  welcome to the party, too. Are you? Are you gonna come? See the older son  and the Pharisees, they had that sense of entitlement. We have done all the  right things, we are entitled to whatever blessing that God has coming our way.  And so he's upset. See, and that's children who have this sense that they're  entitled that they have things coming that people owe them. My parents owe 

me, my teachers owe me, my coach owes me the country owes me, the  economy owes me, the world owes me, my wife owes me, my kids owe me. If  you have this sense of entitlement that people owe you, then get prepared for  an unhappy life. Because here's one thing you should know Life is not fair. And if you think everyone owes you, you're going to go around thinking everything is  totally unfair. The truth is, no one owes you anything. Everything that you have is a gift. The air that you breathe, the time that you have on this planet. Oh, but  you have abilities and gifts and you can make things happen. Yeah, who gave  you those gifts, abilities and gifts, who gave you the opportunities who gave you  people that can support you and help you everything that you have has been  given to you by God. So if you have the entitlement attitude, a year you have a  life of unhappiness and blame teach your kids not to have that sense of  entitlement that everything is a blessing. So the problems with self centered kids is they they end up feeling self entitled The world owes me and it's just a recipe  for disaster. Okay, so negative consequences of self centered kids. Matthew  19:30 So what are the results of these attitudes? Many, but many who are first  will be last. And many who are last will be first. So kids that think they have  things coming to them, guess what, they're going to go to the back of the line.  And maybe they can get away with it in your household. Because as a parent,  maybe you're too soft. Maybe you let them have the sense that they're first. Kids first. But I'm telling you, when they get out of your family life, and they go into the real world, that's not the way it's going to be. And the people that think they're  first people that are pushing to be first. Everyone around them resents people  like that. And they'll be kicking them down to the las. Haggai the prophet, he  says, This is God speaking through the prophet, you looked for much and  behold, it came to little. And when you brought it home, I blew it away. Why  declares the Lord, you know what's going on here? Why declares the LORD of  hosts, because my house that lies in my because of my house that lies in ruins,  while each of you busies himself with his own house. So what was going on at  that time is that people were building their own kingdoms, and they were  ignoring God. They were building their houses, but ignoring God's house, the  temple. And God says, You You put yourself first guess what? It's going to be  blown away. It's going to come to little. Well, how do kids learn humility?  Because that's really what we're talking about how do kids learn humility, how  can you teach humility to your children, give them that. Number one. You do it  by example, Deuteronomy 6, my favorite verse, these commandments that I  give you today, the word of God that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Now, how is the word of God going to get inside your heart? How is the word of  God going to get inside the heart of your child, you need to impress them. You  need to do something, you need to teach them. You need to show them. Teach  them on your children. Talk about them. When you sit at home, when you walk  along the road. When you lie down, when you get up, tie them as symbols on 

your hands, buy them on your foreheads, write them on the doorframes of your  houses, and live them. Okay? If you don't live what you teach, you're not  teaching. Again, it's not teaching, if you're not living it, it is pontificating. It's  giving sermons. You know, that's why sermons, you get such a negative vibe.  You know, if a child says Don't give me a sermon, or if someone says that to  someone, they're not being positive, then I don't know why, you know, that's  what I do to make a living. I give sermons. But But it became negatively  because people saw that people can say a lot of things, but they don't actually  do what they say. And if you don't do what you say, you're not teaching anything. How do kids learn humility, you have to demonstrate humility. You have to  demonstrate that it's not all about you, as a parent. How do kids learn humility,  teach them these principles. So we'll go through several of these principles, A  teach them to listen before speaking. Romans 15:12 Fools find no pleasure and  understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Teach them to listen. How  are you going to teach them how to listen? If you don't listen? Listen to your  children. Ask them questions. Questions are the best way to teach listening.  What did you do today at school? Now they're going to tell you what did you  learn it in today at school? Now they're going to tell you how does that work?  How do you think I could use what you just learned in my life? So you're asking  them questions, and now they're talking. Okay, and you're listening. Okay, you're modeling number one. But number two, you can get them to listen to others by  asking them questions about others. Hey, tell me about your friend. What was  your friend's father do? I don't know. Well, could you ask him? What? What's  your friend's favorite subject? What what does your friend like doing? See, I'm  asking you. I'm asking my child all these questions. And now the child has to go  and find out he has to listen. In order to learn these things. Teach them to listen  before speaking. B. Teach them to be curious about others interests. Do nothing  out of rivalry, right? rivalry or conceit, but in humility, count others more  significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to your own interests,  but to the interests of others. Okay, your kids are never going to look at the  interests of others if you don't, if they never hear you talk about other people, if  you never take an interest in other people and people don't. You know, when I  talk to people, I ask 1000 questions, I asked them all about their lives. I'm  genuinely curious. But I'm always surprised at how few people respond back  with questions of their own. I can ask 20 questions about their life, their kids,  what's going on? And they asked zero questions back to me. Okay, if you if you  are not curious about other people's interests, and if your kids don't see that  they're not going to be. So how do you? How do you inspire your kids to take an  interest? See, you have to take an interest, not just in your kids. Hey, tell me  about your school. Tell me about your teacher. Tell me about what's going on on  that that team Tell me? Because I want to know, I'm curious about that. And now your kids have to be curious about all those things to say they're learning to be 

curious about other things. They're learning that it's not just about my own  interests. within the family, let's know what each one of us is doing. What is your brother doing? What is your sister doing? Let's learn about those things. Let's  watch a documentary and about the thing that they're interested in. Not just what you're interested in. That leads us to this one, compromise, teach your kids to  compromise. Love your neighbor as yourself. Compromise. Kids don't have to  compromise anymore. We live in a world right now, at least in North America,  where, where everything is catered to a child to exactly where they're at, their  age. We put them in classrooms where everyone's the same age, at the same  level, we've got another team where they're all at the same level. Kids tend to  seek out friends that are sort of into the things that they're into, when they go to  church, we have your programs, and we hire people to take care of our kids,  that that can cater the music, the inch, everything is catered exactly to their  need. Okay, if you go back 100 years, you know, kids weren't all in one  classroom, the same age that they were all of the different ages were in one  room, one teacher in a grade, you know, first all the way to grade eight, all in the same room. And when the teacher is teaching one group, she's ignoring the  others and guess what the others have to do they have to compromise. Or  maybe they have to help the younger one. They, they learned very early on that  they are not the center of everything. That other people that we take turns being  the center. And we have to compromise. When we had one television in the  household. We had to compromise what are we going to watch? Generally,  whatever dad wants to watch. We had to compromise with the music. In the 60s  was a revolution. Because of the transistor, the transistor radio became cheap.  All of a sudden kids could own their own radio and now they listen to their own  music. Now today, we all have in our own phones, we have our own music, we  can all listen to our own playlists. We don't have to compromise, we can do  exactly what we want to do all the time. And the whole world is accommodating  that. And when we grow up, we seek out friends that like what we like. But the  problem is we end up marrying someone who's opposite from us because God  designed it that way. And now we have no capacity to compromise at all. Family  members don't have the capacity to compromise. So families are broken up  married marriages are breaking in business, trying to get a team together and  people don't know how to get along together with anyone that's different from  them, because they have no experience whatsoever. Teach your kids how to  compromise. D ROI teach them the ROI of serving others ROI is return on  investment. Yes, there is a return on investment. When you seek and serve  others Proverbs 11:25 a generous person will prosper whoever refreshes others  will be refreshed. There is a return on investment when you actually invest in  others when you are not the center. In fact, that's how life works. The truth is you are not going to get what you want unless you help other people get what they  want. You cannot start a business. You can't start a business and you know, be 

self centered about it. If you don't meet the customer's needs, your business will go out of business. And that's true about almost every aspect of life. You have to serve others, and then ultimately, you will get served. E teach your kids to put  God first. God first Acts 20. However I can This is Paul speak, I consider my life  worth nothing to me. My only aim is to finish the race and complete the task. The Lord Jesus has given me the task of testifying the good news of God's grace.  Life is about service in the kingdom of God. That's the bottom line. That's the  bottom line of everything that we do. It's the bottom line of jobs and vacations  and making money and becoming good at things and getting married and  having children. The bottom line is God's kingdom. It's not about you. Teach  your kids to put God first. If they don't put God first, then they're going to be last. See, putting God first is the greatest thing you can do for yourself. Teach them  the way of denial Mark 8:34. Then he called the crowd to him along with his  disciples and said, whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and  take up their cross and follow Me. Denial. It's a counter intuitive concept. Yeah, I  want to be happy. Okay, well, if you want to be happy, you have to start with  denial. I want to be successful. Okay, if you want to be successful, it starts with  the concept of denial. Why does that make any sense? You know, I love fruit.  And my dad loved fruit too. And back in the day, you basically had fruit that was  ripe in its season. Today we get fruit from Chile, from California, and we can  have any fruit anytime any season. But you know, back many years ago, the  fruit that you had was was locally grown, and it was only locally grown in a  certain season. I tell you, when the strawberries came out in springtime, they  were awesome. And then you know, the cob on the corn and cob on the corn  and then the fall and, and the peaches. And you know, my dad would buy big  bag of them. And we you know, we would go hog wild on whatever the fruit was,  it was amazing. Is it more amazing than the fruit today? Partially because we  pick it green, and we hope it ripens and so on. But partly because we can have  it anytime we want. See there was something special about not being able to  have something whenever you wanted it. It's only available in its season. You  see when you deny yourself, then when you have something, it's more special.  teach kids to deny themselves. I mean, you know this verse here, in Mark 34,  about taking up your cross denying yourself is sort of in the spiritual realm, but  this principle is true. In every realm. Food tastes better if you're hungry. If you're  always eating, you're never hungry. So denying yourself food is the best way to  enjoy food. To deny yourself pleasures is the best way to enjoy pleasures. Teach your kids the art of denial. alright, so so I'm going to say about this is probably  the most important principle that you can teach. It's the most important attitude if your kid has the sense that they are somebody that they can do things that  they're needed, that you know, all these things that I've been talking about, but  they're self absorbed. They're self centered. They're selfish. They're they're  thinking about you know, Only themselves and you know how to make 

themselves look good. Then you're preparing your children for an unhappy life.  prepare him for a life of service in God's kingdom. Then they will have the sense that they're somebody



Остання зміна: вівторок 30 квітня 2024 07:20 AM