Video Transcript: Ask Interesting Questions
Alright, we're back. Number four, ask interesting questions. Now there's a lot of overlap we talked about getting to ask questions when you just arrived but this specifically is an important topic. This is almost, I don't know what's the most important, but this is definitely up there. Proverbs 20:5, the purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding. Or a man who wants to find something interesting, will draw it out. So, again, you can, there are some people in your life that are obviously interesting. They're really they're businessmen that have done some incredible creative thing and successful thing that just seems interesting or some popular person in your town. But how about the person? That just seems ordinary? Right? Generally, if you, there's something interesting inside of everyone. A couple years ago, we had a men's retreat, I had a young men's retreat. And I was trying to teach everyone how to give a speech. Right, How to give a powerful speech. So I said, I want you to tell a story of the most significant problem issue that you ever faced in your life. And then I want you to find one verse that sort of encapsulate how you got over it, right. And these were just ordinary guys, guys in their 20s. And some of them, you know, didn't want to, get up and speak. They'd never given a speech in their life. But I'm telling you, it was the most powerful few hours that I've ever experienced, because they all hit a home run. I mean, they told about some broken time in their life and in tears. And then they had a verse and that verse just became so powerful, because of the story. So these were just people you would never guess you'd say, There's no way that this person could ever give a speech and be interesting, their halting, they, you know, they don't know how to put two sentences together. Right. But given the right context, asking the right, I was asking the right question, what's the most significant thing that ever has ever happened to you? Right? Well, that automatically is going to be interesting, right? Why, what? Where? How much? You know, what did you learn? How do you learn it? After a while you start, you start getting in your mind questions that are always there. Like Henry, you know, you instinctively do it. So maybe you don't know how it works. But a lot of times people ask questions, but it'd be like, so what do you do? Well, I'm a fireman. I'm married, I married one wife, right? Three kids. And it just stays at a surface. Right? Like, like, there's questions that are at a surface. I remember, I had a colleague that I was trying to train, and we talked to people. And you know, I'd start off with surface questions, then I'd ask one, then went a little deeper. And then he would ask another question that put us right back on the surface. So afterwards, I'd go okay, did you see what happened? We were like, I was intentionally going deeper, deeper, deeper. And then you all of a sudden shot us right back to the surface. And now we got to start all over again. Did you not see that you know, what the goal is here? So being aware, okay, there's surface type question. But, so, but how do you get to those little deeper questions? Well, you know, for me, you start with the surface questions. And then you put your toe in the water. So like, you might ask, you
know, where do you work? I work at, you know, the corner business. And then you say, how long did you work there? So, and then you might say, Well, how did you get that job? So now you're just toed a little bit deeper. And then, and then after a little bit, depends on how it goes. If there's openness, ask why are
you still there, right? Okay, now we're opening up to their livelihood. Yeah, now comes a whole interest on the leadership over there is amazing. Oh, really? Why is that amazing? Well, then, then one thing leads to another, or they'll say something like, I'm there because the money's good. My wife wants me to make a lot of money. Oh, so now all of a sudden, okay, what's the deal with your wife? Right, right. So now all of a sudden, we're into your marriage, right? And now, you know, the next step is in your faith. So there's all these questions that you know. So in some ways, you have to understand what's surface and what's deep, right, obviously, as you get towards faith, and what you believe about God or eternity, now we're into some deep stuff. Now, I think there's a good point in this sense is like to know, your calling is how it relates to this, because we could give you ways and techniques to go deep in all kinds of waters. But in ministry as active Christian, there's only so much time , so ultimately, we're focusing on those things that glorify God, those things that bring ministering, the things that may bring openness that you might connect it might be a friend and be a friend outside of all that, but a lot of times, you know, we don't have a lot of time. But yet, we're here for a purpose, and everyone comes in our life, there's a purpose. So it's just not going deep to go deep, deep, because there's a tell us and sometimes if you go back to Genesis 3, where sin comes in the world, what does sin want to do? Sin wants to hide. Right, you know, Adam and Eve hid from each other. And then when God came around, they hid from God. So understanding that people are hiding, they're hiding, brokenness in relationships, and their brokenness to God. So as we're talking to people, we know that there's a hiding issue here. Right, so now we're looking for clues as to what those are, is It a marriage issue? Is that one of the sons or one of the daughters? Or is their friendship, or the problem with the Father the Son has? Is that, you know, where is the brokenness? Where's the pain? Because you can almost assume that people are going through some stuff. And, and, and they have nowhere to go with it. So what would I do, and I have my little or my clergy shirt. And people know, like, for instance, on my little golf club, that I'm a minister, and after I ask questions to get to know people a little bit here and there. Even if they don't go to church, or they're not even believers yet that we have that moment, there's a certain moment when authenticity in life and the questions just in a maybe even an indirect way, God shows up. So what I will do is, I'll say, Mike, I guess I'm your pastor. And they'll laugh. I'm like, I'm your pastor, no worries. And then I joke and they laugh and everything. And that almost all of them say to the introduce, this is Henry, he's my pastor, like they introduce me. And but it's not because I said, I'm your pastor, or when I first met
you, it's because we've had a journey now, where? I don't know you had mentioned, people want to reveal themselves. Right? We have a journey. Interesting questions allow that to happen. Philippians 2:4, let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. So if you want to be a non interesting person, continually talk about yourself, and only the things that you are interested in, there's probably no more boring situation than someone that is obsessed with themselves. Right? We in the influence class, one of the main principles is talking about something that someone else is not interested in is one of the ways to really decrease your influence. Right, right. So so, so how are you going to assess what what other people are interested in without asking a few questions? And then, you know, once a person says something, and you see their eyes light up a little bit, right, you need to ask several other questions, because a lot of people think, well, people aren't, people aren't interested in my thing. But when someone finds someone that genuinely seems interested, all of a sudden, they become more revelatory, and they tell you more interesting things about what's going on with their business or their relationship or whatever it might be. You know, I mentioned in one of the last lesson is about that centurion and again, I really looked at this passage, and you can look at it too, and the trust that came there, when finally in the major crisis when they went to the ship, and so this centurion listened to pastor, the apostle Paul, you wonder what conversations they already had, like, I mean, they had the captain, they had all this stuff but this centurion in the Roman era, he is a bully in the sense of what he does. Everybody says, It doesn't matter what the captain says. The centurion,says what do you think Paul and he follows. So asking people questions is probably the number one way that you showed as someone that you are interested in them and that creates interest .