Video Transcript: Ask Interesting Questions

Alright, we're back. Number four, ask interesting questions. Now there's a lot of  overlap we talked about getting to ask questions when you just arrived but this  specifically is an important topic. This is almost, I don't know what's the most  important, but this is definitely up there. Proverbs 20:5, the purpose in a man's  heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding. Or a man who wants to  find something interesting, will draw it out. So, again, you can, there are some  people in your life that are obviously interesting. They're really they're  businessmen that have done some incredible creative thing and successful  thing that just seems interesting or some popular person in your town. But how  about the person? That just seems ordinary? Right? Generally, if you, there's  something interesting inside of everyone. A couple years ago, we had a men's  retreat, I had a young men's retreat. And I was trying to teach everyone how to  give a speech. Right, How to give a powerful speech. So I said, I want you to tell a story of the most significant problem issue that you ever faced in your life. And then I want you to find one verse that sort of encapsulate how you got over it,  right. And these were just ordinary guys, guys in their 20s. And some of them,  you know, didn't want to, get up and speak. They'd never given a speech in their life. But I'm telling you, it was the most powerful few hours that I've ever  experienced, because they all hit a home run. I mean, they told about some  broken time in their life and in tears. And then they had a verse and that verse  just became so powerful, because of the story. So these were just people you  would never guess you'd say, There's no way that this person could ever give a  speech and be interesting, their halting, they, you know, they don't know how to  put two sentences together. Right. But given the right context, asking the right, I  was asking the right question, what's the most significant thing that ever has  ever happened to you? Right? Well, that automatically is going to be interesting,  right? Why, what? Where? How much? You know, what did you learn? How do  you learn it? After a while you start, you start getting in your mind questions that  are always there. Like Henry, you know, you instinctively do it. So maybe you  don't know how it works. But a lot of times people ask questions, but it'd be like,  so what do you do? Well, I'm a fireman. I'm married, I married one wife, right?  Three kids. And it just stays at a surface. Right? Like, like, there's questions that  are at a surface. I remember, I had a colleague that I was trying to train, and we  talked to people. And you know, I'd start off with surface questions, then I'd ask  one, then went a little deeper. And then he would ask another question that put  us right back on the surface. So afterwards, I'd go okay, did you see what  happened? We were like, I was intentionally going deeper, deeper, deeper. And  then you all of a sudden shot us right back to the surface. And now we got to  start all over again. Did you not see that you know, what the goal is here? So  being aware, okay, there's surface type question. But, so, but how do you get to  those little deeper questions? Well, you know, for me, you start with the surface  questions. And then you put your toe in the water. So like, you might ask, you 

know, where do you work? I work at, you know, the corner business. And then  you say, how long did you work there? So, and then you might say, Well, how  did you get that job? So now you're just toed a little bit deeper. And then, and  then after a little bit, depends on how it goes. If there's openness, ask why are  

you still there, right? Okay, now we're opening up to their livelihood. Yeah, now  comes a whole interest on the leadership over there is amazing. Oh, really?  Why is that amazing? Well, then, then one thing leads to another, or they'll say  something like, I'm there because the money's good. My wife wants me to make a lot of money. Oh, so now all of a sudden, okay, what's the deal with your wife?  Right, right. So now all of a sudden, we're into your marriage, right? And now,  you know, the next step is in your faith. So there's all these questions that you  know. So in some ways, you have to understand what's surface and what's  deep, right, obviously, as you get towards faith, and what you believe about God or eternity, now we're into some deep stuff. Now, I think there's a good point in  this sense is like to know, your calling is how it relates to this, because we could  give you ways and techniques to go deep in all kinds of waters. But in ministry  as active Christian, there's only so much time , so ultimately, we're focusing on  those things that glorify God, those things that bring ministering, the things that  may bring openness that you might connect it might be a friend and be a friend  outside of all that, but a lot of times, you know, we don't have a lot of time. But  yet, we're here for a purpose, and everyone comes in our life, there's a purpose. So it's just not going deep to go deep, deep, because there's a tell us and  sometimes if you go back to Genesis 3, where sin comes in the world, what  does sin want to do? Sin wants to hide. Right, you know, Adam and Eve hid  from each other. And then when God came around, they hid from God. So  understanding that people are hiding, they're hiding, brokenness in  relationships, and their brokenness to God. So as we're talking to people, we  know that there's a hiding issue here. Right, so now we're looking for clues as to what those are, is It a marriage issue? Is that one of the sons or one of the  daughters? Or is their friendship, or the problem with the Father the Son has? Is that, you know, where is the brokenness? Where's the pain? Because you can  almost assume that people are going through some stuff. And, and, and they  have nowhere to go with it. So what would I do, and I have my little or my clergy  shirt. And people know, like, for instance, on my little golf club, that I'm a  minister, and after I ask questions to get to know people a little bit here and  there. Even if they don't go to church, or they're not even believers yet that we  have that moment, there's a certain moment when authenticity in life and the  questions just in a maybe even an indirect way, God shows up. So what I will do  is, I'll say, Mike, I guess I'm your pastor. And they'll laugh. I'm like, I'm your  pastor, no worries. And then I joke and they laugh and everything. And that  almost all of them say to the introduce, this is Henry, he's my pastor, like they  introduce me. And but it's not because I said, I'm your pastor, or when I first met 

you, it's because we've had a journey now, where? I don't know you had  mentioned, people want to reveal themselves. Right? We have a journey.  Interesting questions allow that to happen. Philippians 2:4, let each of you look  not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. So if you want to be a non interesting person, continually talk about yourself, and only the things  that you are interested in, there's probably no more boring situation than  someone that is obsessed with themselves. Right? We in the influence class,  one of the main principles is talking about something that someone else is not  interested in is one of the ways to really decrease your influence. Right, right. So so, so how are you going to assess what what other people are interested in  without asking a few questions? And then, you know, once a person says  something, and you see their eyes light up a little bit, right, you need to ask  several other questions, because a lot of people think, well, people aren't,  people aren't interested in my thing. But when someone finds someone that  genuinely seems interested, all of a sudden, they become more revelatory, and  they tell you more interesting things about what's going on with their business or their relationship or whatever it might be. You know, I mentioned in one of the  last lesson is about that centurion and again, I really looked at this passage, and you can look at it too, and the trust that came there, when finally in the major  crisis when they went to the ship, and so this centurion listened to pastor, the  apostle Paul, you wonder what conversations they already had, like, I mean,  they had the captain, they had all this stuff but this centurion in the Roman era,  he is a bully in the sense of what he does. Everybody says, It doesn't matter  what the captain says. The centurion,says what do you think Paul and he  follows. So asking people questions is probably the number one way that you  showed as someone that you are interested in them and that creates interest .