Video Transcript: Fellowship and Hospitality Boundaries

Henry - So we're back. And this is a fun course to do with you. I'm enjoying  every bit of it. We're today going to be talking about fellowship and hospitality  boundaries. So Pam, why are boundaries part of this discussion? We're talking  about how fellowship and hospitality are biblical mandates. And as ministry  leaders, we want to be part of that. But now we're going to talk about how there  are boundaries with fellowship and hospitality that are unique to do an effective  ministry. So why are the boundaries important?  

Pam - The boundaries are for protection, you know, whether it's relationships or  it's  

Henry - ministry, ministry  

Pam - or healthy ones in place,  

Henry - and anytime fallen people get together. There is the potential for  problems. In fact, there are problems in the early church.  

Pam - I Corinthians 5:1, It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality  among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping  with his father’s wife.2 And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into  mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? 

Henry - notice things that people get together, the early church, and a lot of  people get together, salvation is being poured out. The devil, the spiritual  warfare, of course, is there and you see a boundary, notice the boundary there  is. Shouldn't you have been filled with grief and put out of your fellowship the  man who did this? So there really is a sense where if you're not for the Lord, that you can't treat someone as if they're in the fellowship. 

Pam - a broken discernment boundaries.  

Henry - See that the spiritual warfare side of things for the protection, seeing the spiritual warfare side of things, for the protection of the church.  

Pam - Colossians 4:14, our dear friend, Luke, the doctor and Demas, send  greetings. Then in II Timothy 4:10, for Demas because he loved this world has  deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia and  Titus to Dalmatia. 

Henry - Notice there, Demas who was in and then was out and what the Apostle Paul is creating a boundary for everybody to know that Demas is not safe right  now for the gospel. We don't know the full story  

Pam – Demas did good things seems like he caused a problem there. Right?  Depending on timeline, right.  

Henry - Example we, in the whole Alliance, license ordination we say if  somebody who's been licensed, ordained as clergy at Christian Leaders  Alliance, if someone falls away or is not living a life worthy. We even have it on  our website, please let us know so that we can take that person off the list.  Right. That's a boundary we put names on a directory of people who have  studied who've been commended and recommended we also take names off if  they are no longer walking with the Lord. Is it a perfect system? I don't know if it  can be perfect but I do know that when we find things out and we act on them. 

Pam – Right. If we're unaware we're unaware that's where the imperfections  come in. 

Henry - people have been taken off the list who were reported as not following  the Lord and want that and participate with us you know if someone who's not  living to the guidelines, we wanted to know that  

Pam - spiritual direction boundaries which way is the arrow pointing in the  relationship  

Henry - Yeah, I mean, II Corinthians 4 or 6:14, don't be yoked together with  unbelievers for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? now  We apply that in the marriage relationship. Don't get married to someone whose  arrow is pointing away from Christ. But I guess that applies. I don't guess I know. 

Pam - Bad company corrupts good character. You have to be careful to see if  that is causing you to stumble or have issues, you have to step back and go  okay, wait, what's going on here?  

Henry - Well, I know in ministry over the decades that we've been involved with  people who have, let's say, have ministry I know of one case in British Columbia, where someone had a ministry to prostitutes. And you know, his ministry was  very aggressive in some of those safe practices or boundaries. And eventually  he left the Lord and became one with prostitutes. And he became very  damaging. But when we looked at his life, we saw boundary violations occurred, where you know, that we'll be careful there and pretty soon, 

Pam - right, because it comes, it's a slippery slope, you start letting things slide  or letting things go. Quicker you  

Henry – That's not even a dramatic story, I am thinking that we did a golf course  evangelism class, Professor Elzinga and I, and to golf you know, my friends, and one of the things I really want to do is make sure that the boundaries of which  way is the arrow pointing, like, I'm not going to go on that golf trip, or do some  things. I'm not interested in that. An example where I could justify myself easily,  oh, I'm just going there for the gospel, honey. right. So discernment, where  we're, we're conscious of we're in the world, not of the world, we're reaching  people. Which arrow is the way pointing. And we're not going to have an  openness to get affected in our core belief of Jesus Christ. But are they following along? I think you got the point. That in the end, which way is the arrow pointing, and to not be yoked with unbelievers. Do you have anything more to say about  that? We covered safe practices.  

Pam - Yes, relational health boundaries, which is in Hebrews 13:4, marriage  should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure for God will judge the  adulterer and all the sexually immoral.  

Henry - So meeting people, we've had a practice where, without my ministry, I  would not meet with a woman alone, not go out to eat with somebody or at  lunch, or just have a culture that doesn't even give the appearance of evil. And  you had that too. And that kind of thinking that, you know, when we do  hospitality or fellowship, that we are conscious that the devil was prowls around  like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. So there's a little bit of a fear,  a holy reverence to be aware that, you know, in the news, when we see news in  the church, about a minister who violated someone or bad report, a lot of them  developed because the boundaries broke down first,  

Pam - right, they had good intentions perhaps. Yeah. Got unintentionally close.  It's not the way to go. 

Henry - Well, here's another one. Abuse of productive community.  

Pam - Stewardship boundaries. I Timothy 5:8, if anyone does not provide for his  relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is  worse than an unbeliever.  

Henry - One of the things that we noticed over the years of helping people and  even wanting to give to the poor, and that was we had to be very careful that we 

did not get caught up in basically hurting them with maybe some form of  entitlement that actually hurt them from ever trying to do. I remember like the  first church plant, giving people rides to this and doing this and doing that and  doing that in the church really stalled. Because we were so busy becoming a  welfare program, instead of like giving that person the skills to do that. We were  sort of doing it for that person. And we hinted that many times. So when you do  Hospitality to find that boundary.  

Pam - Right? It's finding that balance. Yes, help now, but how can we help them  to help themselves as you're saying? They can grow? And, you know,  sometimes they need a little jump start, for sure. 

Henry - And we're not talking about somebody who is who is so disabled that  they need constant care. We're talking about, we're talking about situations  where there takes a little bit of discernment in stewardship boundaries. I guess  maybe another way to put it is when, in the book of Acts, when Peter met  Simon, the sorcerer, he definitely had a boundary, that no, this not that you can't  profit from the gospel. Or you can't use the gospel for your purposes,  

Pam - to benefit yourself, I don't know, in a way that glorify you. Right. I  

Henry - remember one of the churches that we were at, there was a con man  who would go to the churches to show how he needed $100. And he would go  and do it. And it turned out that he had visited in the Chicago area like 100  churches in the area. And well, that man was meeting with our deacons, the  police showed up. And it turned out, you know, and here we were being  hospitable. But we really and after that we got a plan of like, food vouchers, we  had a plan that we were not going to give cash anymore. So we're being open,  or come to meet for training. Or we're going to help you get a job. We're not  going to just give you cash. So again, those are stewardship boundaries that are very, very important. You know, in the sense boundaries are not meant to tie you down or to hurt you  

Pam – They're not to limit your ministry either. They are more for protection.  Henry - Protecting the people they minister to. 

Pam - yes, for yourself and the people.  

Henry - Like if you went down a trail, let's say you're ministering to prostitutes,  and then you eventually abused a prostitute. And now, what would her view of  Christianity be if this person trying to minister to her ultimately tried to use her on

the name of it hurts them. It hurts you as a minister it hurts them, as the person  you're actually trying to minister to and it's sad when you hear stories. And we  want to talk about this because in the end of the day. Jesus Christ is alive. But  so is the devil. roaring lion, seeking to devour so the boundaries are there for  your protection, not to be fought, but to be embraced with joy that God has a  plan for you and your ministry.