Video Transcript: Intro - Coaching Basics Part 2

Hi, my name is Steve Elzinga. And I'm going to be the professor of this coaching basics part two. Now it's called part two, because there's a part one, the the  three credit class on coaching, and hopefully you've already taken that class.  Because that class absolutely essential before taking this class. And that class,  one of the basic tenants of the whole coaching thing was that coaching is non  directive. It's client centered. And in this class, I'm going to talk about how a  coach can be more directive. So in some ways, this is a little scary for me,  because if you don't have a good foundation of coaching is non directive. You,  you run the danger of turning your coaching into mentoring and teaching and  counseling, and all kinds of other things, and not coaching. So but if you've  taken the class, and not only taken the class, but you've tried it, if you haven't  tried it, go back and take the class and go out and try it before taking this class.  But if you've taken the class, you've tried it, and you have a sense of what works in terms of this old neurotic, non directive approach, then this class is going to  help you expand your coaching opportunities and situations. And you'll be able  to help a lot more people. And so I'm really excited about this class. But I do this  class with a little bit of fear. So just just to get a little sense, we're going to we're  going to, we're going to show how coaching can be more directive, or partially  directive and non directive. But, again, I want to emphasize what we learned in  that first class. So in coaching, basics, part one, we learned that coaching is not  pastoral care. Pastoral care is the general care offered by the pastor and his  staff in the normal stuff that pastors do, and the character. It's not counseling,  counseling is the more specific, professional specific care offered by the pastor,  or counseling staff focuses a lot on the past, not on the future, if we can figure  out what went wrong somewhere in your past, it might help you as you go  forward. It's not teaching training discipling helping people learn how to do  something. It's not mentoring, the process of helping someone acquire skills,  attitudes and behavior already mastered by the mentor. So it's not specifically  any any one of these things. But it includes caring, of course, you know,  everything, just like, but it's more about challenge than comfort. It's, it includes  care to specific need, like counseling, but it's more about the future than the  past. It includes teaching training discipling, but it's more about helping the client teach themselves than the coach teaching the client. And finally, it does include  some mentoring, but it's less about the client becoming like the mentor, and  more about the client becoming what he or she could become with a little help  from the mentor. So but in this class, we're going to see that coaching can be a  little bit more of these things, that it's not, but it does include, okay, so we're  going to include these things a little, a little more under specific circumstances.  So coaching basics, part two, one of the basic tenets of coaching is that it is  client directed, not teacher directed. But in coaching basics, part two, we're  going to explore coaching options that are more teacher and coach directed.  There's basically two options. You know, in the first class, we had the non 

directive approach, but in this class, we're going to talk about the directive  approach. So it's sort of the opposite the directive approach, and then probably  the more preferred is the semi directive approach to counseling or coaching. But this class comes with a warning warning. As the coach gets more directive with  the client is easy To lose the very thing that makes coaching so effective. So I  won't want to keep saying that over and over again, that we go into these  waters, you have to go into these waters, knowing everything that I'm going to  talk about in this class. So you really need this whole class, or you're gonna lose what coaching is all about. So, you know, I know I'm giving mixed messages. On the one hand, I want to, I want to, you know, say, I'm so excited that you're  taking this class, because this is going to make an incredible difference in your  coaching, and the people that you're going to be able to help and that's really  true. But I also am a little fearful that, you know, if you don't really pay attention,  you're going to lose what coaching is all about, and then ultimately lose  effectiveness. And that's, that's the goal here. The goal is to affect people's lives. So no influence. So as we get to be more directive or semi directive, we are  doing more of the influence. I mean, we're always influence even when we're,  you know, asking a client a question, we're influencing them and taking them on  a journey. And it's a journey that we know. So we are definitely influencing them. But as we get to more directive, style coaching, we are more directly influencing  them. And I thought that we should really talk about this whole thing of influence. Because I think we live in a culture, especially in North America, we're  influenced, especially from the Christian viewpoint, or the way people think of  Christianity that are not Christians. Christianity is being labeled, sometimes the  influence of Christianity is being labeled abuse. I mean, they, you know, they  point to things like in the Middle Ages, when the church did abuse, certain  situations, the Inquisition and all these different historical evidences of abuse,  okay, you know, the Catholic church right now, there's abuse, sexual abuse, and so on. Now, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about how, you know, as  Christians seek to do evangelism, especially that, that that evangelism, in and of itself is abuse, because you're trying to persuade someone, you're trying to  influence someone from whatever, you know, native thing that they think or  believe right now, and pull them into your orbit of thought. That's abuse. You're  trying to change people from their natural situation. I mean,as if people are in  some natural situation. And so in things like evangelism, or anytime Christians  start saying their Christian point of view, you know, from the Bible's point of view, oh, don't give me the Bible. Don't, don't try to abuse me with your thoughts, and  your truth, I have my truth, you have your truth? Why don't you keep your truth  to yourself. In other words, Christianity is in the realm of private, and anytime  you take your Christianity out there in the public, you are abusing people with  your view. And if you're a really good evangelist, then then it's abuse because  you're taking advantage. You're knowledgeable, and you're taking advantage of 

people that are not knowledgeable. So as a coach, you might get accused of it  but all relationships, interaction is influence. I mean, all human interaction is  influenced, casual conversation. As we're talking just casually, about the  weather or about anything, we ended up influencing people one way or the  other. Advertising, what is advertising? It's influence you need to buy this  product, your life would be better with this product. I mean, look at all the social  media is complete with advertising. I live in the United States. Every  professional field, every football field, every baseball field, it's not called you  know, you know, a certain park it's called, you know, United Airlines Arena. I  mean, billboards and a we are every moment of our day, our kids, everybody is  being influenced by. This is the preferred life. If you have these products if you  go down these trails, So this is what happiness is all about. If you want to talk  about abuse products and services, every product and service is like an  advertisement, your life is better with us, or with this service or with this product  law, laws that say what is right and what is wrong. These are all ways of  influencing people. This is the right way, this is the wrong way, who's decided  this? These are moral issues, sometimes. Government, governments are always trying to influence education, you know, in many of our countries, education is  run by the government or in the public domain. And, and whoever's coming up  with the curriculum and putting the classes together and standardized tests, all  these things are from a specific point of view. People, you know, if anybody's  abusing anybody, it's these educational systems, and whoever's deciding, you  know, what kids should know, and what they should not know, parenting? What  are we doing as parents, we're trying to influence our children? And what's the  alternative? If you know, I know, some parents are like, well, I don't want to  teach my kid about religion, I'll let them decide for themselves, what you're really saying is, I'm gonna let the world decide for my child, I'm gonna let whatever  influence my child happens to bump into decide, you know, be the influence of  my child, everybody, but me. That is what a parent is saying ultimately,  everybody, but me, is going to have an influence over my child, why shouldn't  you? As the father, as the Mother, why shouldn't you have an influence?  Movies? Every movie has a point of view. Social media, people are on their  phones all the time, social media, has the point of view is trying to set the  agenda for our societies, what is right, what is wrong? What is acceptable?  What is not? So influence is is all around. So every interaction has the potential  to be an influencing situation then the real question is, who is the one doing the  influencing? And what worldview does he or she have? That's really, all that  really matters. So yes, as a coach, as you become more directive, and maybe  semi-directive, in other words, you're starting to give your thoughts and energy  and viewpoints and teaching, you know, you might be teaching something about parenting or marriage, you're giving your client enough information from which  they can decide what to do with their life. But you're giving your perspective. 

Yes, that is of influence, but they come to you because you are a Christian  coach. And so why can't you freely influence, you know, from the Christian  worldview. So never apologize. never apologize for your Christian worldview.  And that being the perspective from which you do all your accounts coaching,  whether it's non directive, whether it's directive, or whether it's semi directive,  you have a particular worldview, that makes all the difference with what you're  trying to do. And believe me, if you hold on to that, you will see incredible  success, you will see lives that are changed. And when word gets around, that  you actually help people's lives change that you you help people do things that  they never thought they could do before that people will come to you, and that  they start objecting to your Christian worldview. You just tell them all the stories  that you heard of people's lives change, it's because of this worldview. So if you  want a different worldview, then you're going to have to find a different coach.  I'm not apologizing for the worldview that I have. I proudly own it. I proudly wear  it. And I proudly teach it. So I'm excited that you're taking this class. You know, I  hope you you took the first one and that you put it into practice this second one,  we're going to explain how as a coach, you can be more directive and when  that's appropriate. And you'll see why the direct approach can be appropriate in  certain certain circumstances, certain things that you're trying to help someone  do, and then we'll spend most of our time talking about This semi directive  approach where you're teaching certain things, I mean, sometimes you have to  teach a certain amount of material in order for someone to grasp what it is that  they need to work on first. So it might be for example, marriage, I have to teach  you certain aspects of the, you know, all the different things that make a  marriage work. And now I can turn to you in a more non directive way and say,  okay, out of all these things that we just went over, where would you like to  start? Or where would you know, where's the greatest need in your marriage?  What? So now I'm being more non directive, but I have to be directive enough.  And what's cool about that is then as a coach, you can start having classes. You can have a class on parenting, for example. And then out of the class, you can,  you can, you can specifically help those that want to be coached in you know, in  the area of whatever that class is that you taught. So, it greatly expands your  ability to do coaching, and to get your coaching name out there into the  community. So anyway, welcome. I'm glad that you're on board and I think  you're gonna I think we're gonna enjoy our time together. So we'll see you next  time.