Video Transcript: Semi-Directive With Case Studies

All right, we're back. My name, again is Steve Elzinga. I hope, I hope, well, I  assume that if you're taking this second class, you know, coaching basics  number two, I am assuming that you took number one, and that you started  using it, hopefully, you started using it, and you saw how it was making a  difference, it can make a difference. In all your interactions, in your parenting, in  your marriage, at your church, in your business, I mean, wherever you interact  with people, this coaching style of trying to bring the best out of other people  without directing and correcting and, and, you know, sort of pushing people  around and letting letting people have a little in integrity in and of themselves.  And now, I'm hoping that you're getting this, this concept of both as a lot of  coaching is non directive, but there is a little bit of directive. I mean, we've all  learned from others being shown being taught exactly what we should do. So  we're talking about trying to mix these two things together. And mixing the  directive and the non directive into what I'm calling this semi directive form of  coaching. And last time, we looked at how you can do that by teaching, and then asking a bunch of questions. Questions is a good way to teach somebody  something without teaching them something. You, in fact, are teaching when you ask questions, you are teaching people, you're leading people down a certain  trail. But you're not dictating the whole trail. You're, you're allowing them to teach some of these things, some of these concepts to themselves. Okay, so how do  we make them more not make the directive more non directive? One way is to  do it through case studies. Case studies. It's interesting, the Harvard Business  School, I mean, it's the premier business school, maybe in the entire world, I  don't know. I mean, a lot of important leaders around the world have gone to the  Harvard Business School with the Harvard Business School has a methodology  of teaching is the interesting one. Case studies, case studies. In other words,  students, instead of just being taught a bunch of concepts are presented with  real world situations. Often, dilemmas in our students have to figure out what's  going on in this particular story. And then they have to figure out what's the right  thing to do? What's the smart thing to do? What's the moral thing to do?  Someone wrote, this about the case studies cases expose students to real  business dilemmas and decisions. Nitin Nohria, the former dean of Harvard  Business School, writes for Harvard Business Review cases teach students to  size up business problems quickly while considering the broader organizational  industry and social context. Students recall concepts better when they are set in  a case. Much as people remember words better when used in context cases,  teach students how to apply theory in practice, and how to induce theories from  practice. So try to understand that cases teach students how to apply theory in  practice, so you learn a theory, but then you see how it works in real life. But it  also goes the other way around. You can look at what people are doing, and  then try to figure out the theory behind what they are doing goes both ways. The case method cultivates the capacity for critical analysis, you have to be involved 

you have to think, we're not we're not just handing you this teaching. You have  to get involved. The case method cultivates the capacity for critical analysis,  judgment, which is right which is wrong, decision making and Action, what are  you going to do? You have to figure it out there, students are presented with  these cases, and they have to do something with it. They can't just throw up  their hands and go, I don't know. Which is what so many people do in real life?  Well, I don't know. And so they don't do anything, which is to do something. So  these case studies are a non self hurting kind of way to experience the  dilemmas in the hard things of life without getting, you know, personally burned.  It's almost like a practice run through life. You see how it goes. And you see how your judgments are, are compared to real life and what's really going on. And,  but without all the real world consequences of you making really, really, really  bad decisions in life. Making the directive more non directive by presenting case studies. An example in the Bible, Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan.  Jesus did this all the time. They're called parables. Now, Jesus could have just  told, you know, the concept, you know. But instead he tells a story, or there's a  story that's being told, you know, about what Jesus did. In the Bible. It's like the,  the the writers of the Bible. Were giving case studies, you know, that all these  things that happened to Jesus, but let me tell you about this one. And then  there's a lesson to be learned from the Good Samaritan. And know that, you  know, he's, he's in the, there's a guy walking down the road, and he gets jumped by robbers, and he's left half dead. And then, as the story goes, there's a there's  a priest walks in, he sees the person hurt, but he's on the way to the temple. If  he touches this hurt person, he won't be able to go into the temple, he's another  he's got important things to do. And you know, someone else should take care of the situation, but not me. Because otherwise, if I get involved, I'm going to be  late, I'm gonna be excluded from the temple, I have things that I'm supposed to  be doing, people are calling me. He walks on the other side of the road, the  Samaritan comes along the Samaritans were not loved by the Jews, they were  outcasts. He stopped. And he binds up the wound, and he brings them to an inn  and he gives the inn person money. And then Jesus said, because Jesus, Jesus presented this story, because someone asked about, you know, love, and Jesus  says, Well Love your neighbor. And this person said, Well, who is my neighbor?  And so Jesus could have said, well, everyone's your neighbor, the person in  need is your neighbor. Let me teach you this concept. But instead, Jesus didn't  do that. Why? Because he could have said that, and they wouldn't have  listened. They would have said, Oh, you know, Jesus is the dreamer. He is He is not, you know, in reality, he doesn't know what he's talking about. But instead,  Jesus tells a story. gives him a case. And then he says, At the end of the story,  he goes, Well, now who, which one was the neighbor? Which one loved as the  commandment says, We should do that your original question? What does it  mean to love your neighbor? Which one was the neighbor? Now they're caught, 

they're stuck. Because they have to say, well, the Samaritan but they don't want  to say the Samaritan because the Samaritan is the bad guy. The priest is the  good guy. The priest is the one we identify with. Were the priests. So they don't  want to say the Samaritan. So they said, Well, the one who helped, which was  the Samaritan? And the Jesus said, Go do likewise. Now, did they go do  likewise? I don't know. But there's a better chance that they listen to what Jesus  had to say because he told the story. So what happens? We can we can tell  concepts. And people don't listen, they don't pay attention, or sometimes they  get lost, or a lot of times people have a hard time applying a concept to regular  life. It's true with sermons. You know, a sermon that is filled with all kinds of  teaching and all kinds of concepts, and then people have no idea how to apply it to their lives. story helps people apply it to their lives. But Jesus told so many  stories. They're all case studies. That's why in preaching, you need to tell some  stories. Because it's through the stories that we figure out how the concept  applies to life. And then we actually maybe do something about it. Jesus tells the story of the two sons. In Luke chapter 15. Jesus is eating with the tax colllecters  and the sinners. And the Pharisees and the teachers of the law. Say, they're  grumbling, and they're saying, Oh, Jesus, what's he doing? He's eaten with the  sinners and tax collectors. Now, Jesus could have said, Well, look, who are you,  number one? What makes you so righteous? And these people sinners? Or he  could, he could have said all kinds of things, he could have taught all kinds of  things, you know, well, who are you to stand before God? Aren't we all sinners  before God? I mean, there's a lot of concepts that Jesus could have taught. And  if he had said, all those things, do you think it would have made one bit of  difference? But instead, Jesus gets involved with gets them involved. Tell the  story of his father and two sons. One son stayed home worked hard on the farm, the other son said, Dad, I want to take my inheritance and go spend it until the  Father gives the inheritance son goes up and ultimately runs out of money. He's  in a foreign land. He's feeding pigs, pigs are unclean to Jews. So he's unclean,  and he can't go to the temple. He can't go to the synagogue. He says, seeing  what the pigs eat, and he longs for it. And then he comes to his senses, the  Bible says. And what does he say the first thing first thing he says when he  comes to his senses is not oh, I've hurt my father. I shouldn't have done this  though. That's not what he says. First thing he says is I'm starving. Who's he  thinking about himself. Back home, they have food, but how am I gonna go back home? How about if I, Father I've sinned against heaven and against you. I'm  not worthy to be called your son make me one of your hired servants, all that  might work. So he goes home. He's got this confession in the bag, maybe it will  work. I'll give that a try maybe I'll get something comes home and his father  runs, throws his arms around him and receives him back as a son before he  opens his mouth. The son confesses, he says father, I've sinned against heaven and against you. But he doesn't say make me one of your hired servants, 

because it wouldn't make sense. He's just been received back as a full son. He  makes his confession nothing gets nothing. That's what he originally thought off  make my confession I'll get something. But now he confessed is not to get  anything because he's already got everything. He only confesses because  nothing he truly feels bad. Okay, but that's not the main part of the story.  Remember, that the story was told because these Pharisees and teachers of the law are grumbling that Jesus is eating with sinners. So the older the older son  hears that is a celebration. You know, the father kills the fattened calf for the son who comes home and the oldest son what's going on while your son has come  out and your dad killed the fatted calf and the the the eldest son of refusing to  come so, the father comes out. Just like he came to the younger son to Son,  what's the deal? I've served you all these years. You've never gave me a party.  That his son who lost everything of your spent your inheritance comes home  and you kill the fatted calf and the father says Son, everything I have always  been yours. It's all yours, but we added your brother was lost but now he's  found. You know what, and that's how the story ends, the story ends complete  because we don't know whether the older son came in or not. And you know  why? Because Jesus was looking at the pharisees and the teachers of the law  and say, Are you going to come to the party or no? Because you're invited to  see these sinners. They know that they don't deserve it. And that's why they can see God's love because they know they don't have it coming. Your problem is  you can't see the Father's love because you think you have it coming Jesus told  story after story after story because people would get involved in these stories  their guard would be down and all of a sudden some truth would be revealed  they would discover this truth on their on their own. Jesus didn't have to explain  it. There's very little of Jesus explaining things. And people have to get it  themselves. Because when you do it It becomes way, way more powerful, and  life changing. And so that's what you're doing as the coach you want to be. You  want to be someone who helps bring about life change. So how would this  work? You take a class and an area of study that you would like to coach others. Then you find or make up a case study that might help your client learn about a  particular concept in that study. So for example, parenting, giving your kids the I  am somebody attitude, and we talked about in the last session. So how would  you use case study as a way to do this semi directive coaching? Well, you tell a  story that relates to the I am somebody attitude. You could tell stories from Hitler history, for example, Hitler was raised by a father who wasn't very encouraging,  didn't give Hitler the sense of that he was somebody. And so Hitler spent his  whole life trying to be somebody in a rather negative manner. You could tell that  story and then say, well, what do you think? How does this relate to the I am  somebody's attitude. Or the story of Babe Ruth, Babe Ruth was an orphan. He  was raised in an orphanage. And it was a big man. His name was Father  Matthias. And Father Matthias love baseball, and he could hit the ball. And Babe

Ruth looked at him that was his mentor. That's who we want it to be. So how  does that relate to the I am somebody attitude. Or from literature, Huckleberry  Finn, Mark Twain wrote a book entitled Huckleberry Finn. Huckleberry Finn is an orphan. He doesn't fit in society. He he finally takes off and he gets on a raft with a with another child, the black slave. And they're trying to figure out who they  are. All the way down the river, who am I? You could tell that story, and how  does that relate to the I am somebody attitude, or you could talk about your own  life. Give me an example from your own life. Or you could ask, you could ask  your client. Hey, is there anything in your was anything that happened when you  were a child that made you feel like you were somebody? Is there anything that  happened to you as a child to make you feel like you were nobody? You know,  I'm really into music, I love music, I did a class, CLI on music. But also, when I  was in fourth grade, I was in a chapel and we're all singing along and a girl at  some point in front of me, turns around looks at me and says, who said that you  who told you that you can sing, and then she turned around. I'm still trying to get over that. Right? Maybe I really can't sing maybe I really can't do this. Maybe I  really am no good at that. Maybe I'm deluding myself as to what kind of speaker  I am or teacher that I maybe I shouldn't be doing this class at all or any class,  self doubt that you have about who you are, as somebody, all these things be  become powerful story that helps a client think about this thing. And then from  there, there, they can figure out what they need to do or what they can do, to try  to communicate this attitude to somebody else. make up a story. You just make  up a story, that there was a there was a child who grew up and he had a brother  and he was the younger brother and the older brother did everything right. And  the younger brother did everything and he wasn't quite as talented and, and the  parents said, you know, encouraged and, you know, when people came over  now, this is my first son, look at all the great things he does and they and then  they don't say anything about the younger one. I wonder how that feels? How to  use the case study, to coach, client and concept. So okay, so you tell the story,  whatever it is a made up story, a story from the Bible, wherever you get the story doesn't matter. Listen to the story. You you both listen to the stories. Secondly,  ask the client what struck them about the story. I told the story what hit you. You  don't have to tell the client what the point of the story is or what it means just let  them more non directive approach. What struck you they're going to gravitate  towards the thing that means something and that's the point. It's whatever it  means to them, not you. Number three, ask the client what parenting or  whatever the topic is, it might be time management, it might be marriage, or  whatever. Ask the client, what the parenting concept they got out of the story.  What did you get out of this? As it relates to parenting, and let them figure it out? Number four, discuss the concept. Alright, let's talk about what do you think of  that? What have you experienced in your own life? Number five, ask the client  what course of action he or she might be interested in pursuing as a result of the

discussion of the case study. So you've looked at the case study, you figure the  concept out of it. That's the teaching part. And then Okay, so what do you want  to do with it? How do you want to proceed? You're a parent, you have the  children? What do you want to do? What do you think you should do? I think we  have to figure out a course of action. Remember, coaching is about action. What are we going to do because of all this? Number six, pursue a plan to carry out  the desired course of action. So this is basic coaching again, once we got once  we got a concept, how does this concept relate to what you want to do? Once  you figure out what you want to do? Then? What are all the steps involved in  trying to get to accomplishing what we want it to do? And then how are we going to manage that? Okay, are we good? What are we going to do this week? What  are we going to do the next week? Are we going to meet next week? Are we not  going to meet next week? How are how are we going to proceed? So here  again, it's just that basic coaching that we talked about in the first class. So so  so far, with this semi directive, we looked at how you can be more semi  directive, not just directive by asking a bunch of questions. That's one way to do  it. And then secondly, here we've looked at using case studies as a way to do  the teaching and try to figure it out. What we want to do together as client and  we're gonna look at another one, the next time when we get together.