Video Transcript: How to Manage a Bible Study Group for Success - Part 2

All right, we're back with part two of managing your group. So the last thing that  a leader does, I think this is so important, make things fun. Okay? You know, a  lot of times, if you watch people interact anywhere, they can be on the sidewalk,  they can be in the store, they can be at the beach doesn't matter where you go,  within two or three minutes, somebody in the group is laughing, right? It's just  sort of the sort of grease that that keeps conversations going. And so promote,  you know, if everyone is just, it's like a library or where everyone was sitting  there, no one dare say anything, and it's all so seriously serious, then a lot of  times people it doesn't create an environment where there's a sense of  community. And if people have a meaningful time, but also a fun time, they're  more likely to come back again. So really, as we begin to really part two here  reminding to create stages for participants to shine, make sure everyone shares  not just a few help conversation, go deeper, keep things moving, deal with  differing personalities group and make things fun. If you look back at these, that  list, where what do you feel like? What are more importantly, all the same? Or is  there something that you have noticed that? Well, I think it's our first one?  Maybe they're in the order of importance? I don't know. But I think this is where  a lot of leaders make a mistake, is not thinking they're thinking me, right? Which  means I've got to know things. And I'm going to share things you don't know, I  know. And so here we go. And instead of thinking, How do I help people walk  out of here? Better than they walked in? Right? How do I do prayer in such a  way that the person that is afraid to pray publicly? Feels a little better about  doing it? Maybe now, he can pray in His own family? Not? Okay, I get a lead in  prayer. And how do I make this prayer really cool and special? You know, how  do I bring myself to the next level of prayer? Okay, that's one thing. But that's  your personal growth, right? You know, the leader is a servant of all right? So  how do you help other people become all that they can be? And, you know, Rich DeVos often said to us, if you help people get what they want, you'll get what  you want, rather than going out there and trying to get what you want. I believe, I love that everyone's too, and I think we're moving. We're tacking into a culture in a world that is more participatory. In some ways, when you look back to the  history of the church, it started very participatory. And then it went into very  programmatic. And by the time of the Reformation, I know in our background,  when I grew up, the minister did everything, right. And if he was leading the  Bible, say we call the Catechism and he did everything and we were just sitting  there in the church. You started from the call to worship, announced every song  went to the call to confession, that assurance of pardon. He did all he did for the  congregational prayer, some of her he did a sermon of a few more songs from  there, announce the collections, and with the deacons will come forward and  take the money, even led the singing, and half the ministers couldn't sing no. I  mean, I think that's right. And it was to the point where it was like, he was the  paid implementer of the group, the whole thing, the whole thing. And we pay him

to be the answer man, we pay him to be pret make it apply it and he could not  do all of this. The church suffered. But I think that's true I think I'm just gonna like speculate here, I actually believe that much church decline has turned because  that paradigm to the water speaks to the heart of an educated global population. And the digital world where you post your own pictures you put your own out  there your you know, your life is out there, you you want to pontificate about  something, you put it on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or whatever it is.  People are used to participating now more and more and more. And so they  don't get to. They're not they're just not going to attend. So that's why it's but but because people want to participate. Now you have more of a management  issue. It's easier to just have the pastor do every vote, because you're on Bob  and then then you go and now there's two people now how are we going to  match or three or four or five, that's when it becomes more difficult in this  debatable point, because there's a certain segment of group that wants the  Minister to do everything. But we believe that the trend is moving where, you  know, there might be that but to fight that a little bit and to create stages for  others. All right, dealing with people remember, the group gathers to the Study  Bible is made up of people who still need a savior. In other words, sinners saved by grace. So the very people you create the stage to are not going to be  perfectly trained ministers. Right. And you're not a perfect leader, either. So  we're gonna look at certain kinds of people that you might have in a group you  got the talker, has a lot to say, will start telling a story that lasts for five minutes,  and generally doesn't let you have a word in edgewise. It's hard to cut them off.  Right? So what do you do? Well, one way is to go around the circle, instead of  just asking a question in the Bible study, and then leaving it up to whoever wants to ask these talkers will grab the microphone right away. And a non Talkers  would just sit back and go, Okay, I'm not gonna do this. But if you go around the  circle, everyone is going to say something, you might even listen to two minute  rule that look, we're going to try to limit everything that we do to two minutes,  now what will happen is the talker will take four. And then if you let them have  four, he'll take five, and then he'll take six, and then he'll take 10, right? So you  may have to talk to the talker, one on one and just sort of lay out the vision. And  you know, Bob, I know you have your bubbling. So you do it in a respectful  manner. And Bob, you have so much wisdom and so many things that you want, there's so much stuff that you want to say that you can hardly contain yourself.  So I did it is difficult for you. But we only have so much time. And we're this is  what I'm trying to do is try to help the non talkers. So if you could help me with  that, in fact, it's a talker models, two minutes, then that inspires everybody else.  So he's a talker, as a talker, you can really be a leader in this group, right? And  you got the needy, okay, the needy is someone who comes in, and they always  have a million problems, and they love talking about their problems. And they  love people going, Oh, that's too bad and feeling sorry for them. And it's like, it's 

almost like a drug. Right, they get a little high from being the center of attention.  Right. And when you say that you disrespectful of people in pain, which is how it plays in the game. Because it's Bible study groups, not a therapy group, right.  So you have a therapy group, that's the point of it. And so we can take the time.  But here if we turn it in, and often, a needy person will then constantly do this in  the group. No one else will share those deep needs, it'll be one person, and now we become this therapy. You know, we're the doctor that you're the person who  needs all the help. You know, I noticed another thing with yours. I'm curious how  you think about this. I often and later on, you're going to talk 1.11 to talk to that  needy person. But it's hard to wait as I asked them is this way you want your  future brand to be? Like, what do you mean, I just left me my wife, as well.  Because I noticed that if you talk too much about all of your problems, then  people will pigeonhole you with a bunch of problems. And eventually you might  leave this church because we you're well again and healed, then everybody is  going to like see you as a problem person. Because of the sense you went  through an era of your life to be a problem person. And you're making you're  projecting yourself as a dependent, right, and you can either have a friend, or  you can be a dependent. So a lot of times people who project this dependency  thing, and then they wonder why people don't like do things. Like they don't  have a friend and do that same counseling thing and say, Well, if you want that,  if you want to be a dependent of that person, then you're not going to be a friend of that person in general. So you have to decide whether you want a friend or  whether you want to be a dependent and so people sometimes they just need to learn that dependency thing is maybe something they grew up with if this is the  only thing they know. And so but but so you might go around the circle, you  know, so we don't send her on only one person. You might listen to him in a  room and you might have to know his There you go. To dependent, loves  attention and loves everyone weighing in on pain and they feel like they get a  little levy Yeah, I think the no fixing rule in general is a good rule that we're not  here to fix people, unless they are asking for some specific advice about  something. What if they ask for advice and take away two, more than two  minutes was so important? No one else's point will probably come in through  talking to them one on one. You learn quickly. Again, they want to be a leader.  So you're the leader. But there's someone in the group that wants to be the  leader. And a lot of times there's a person who wants to be a leader, but they  didn't lead and get the group together, right. But they want to steal what you did,  right? By getting the group together, because they know how to lead this group  better than you do. Well, what you can do is refer to the agenda because  someone will want to keep changing everything there. I think we should spend  more time on this. I don't think we should, you know. And again, it's like, well,  this is the agenda. And I suggest we just keep doing this for a while. And maybe  at the end of the year, we'll look at it again. Talk to the wannabe leader one on 

one because, you know, and I've had to say to people, look, it seems like you  want to lead my group. And I suggest you go get your own group. Birth a new  group, yes. And you can be the leader. Now, a lot of times that'll shut them down because they don't want to go out they can't get anyone to follow them. Right.  Okay. So that's why they want to steal yours. Right? All right, teachers. And  here's suggest the things you might say, Bob, you know more than most of us,  can you wait until others have had a chance to say something? In other words,  you honor the person look by look Bob, you do it right? Clearly, you know, a lot  more. But, you know, we want to give other people a shot. And then you'll  always have a turn to say what you think at the right, two minutes. Right? Ask  more questions that deal with how people feel, than fact, based questions,  usually, the teacher wants to know, facts in the background. And like the NIV  Study Bible, they want to read that all to you. And often that, that that kind of  teacher person does not want to share their feelings, right? When it's like when  earlier in this class, we talked about, like different, like, knowledge relating to the text, knoledge related to the context. And a lot of times the teacher wants to stay in that water. Yeah, they don't want to go into sharing part over your feelings or  what you really think or how it applies to you. Right? Talk to the teacher one on  one. All right, then the skeptic you know, you might have a person in your group  that is skeptical about the Bible, or God or who knows, they're there on the  doubt side of the fence. And a lot of times, Christians will meet together, we  want to always fix the skeptic give the skeptic room to express their doubts. Let  them say some of the you know instead of shutting them down, so if you shut  someone down, then they just internalize it. You never really hear what they  really think. And so you can never say anything that would be helpful for them to get out of their doubt. Right? So give them some space to you know, that's really interesting. If someone said, Well, I'm not sure what the inerrancy of scripture  really means I don't, here's my problem. And then they outline some problems. If the first thing that comes out of your mind, mind mouth is some fix for that rare  problem, then I gotta listen to it. But if you said, Wow, you you really think deeply about these things. That's amazing. Let's, we're gonna have to think about it. In  fact, if you said to someone, you know what that is so interesting that I want to  go home and think to research this a little bit. I would like to come back to this  topic, then you're honoring that person rather than always you're wrong, to  change your mind and we're going to fix you. We did a mini class. Evangelism  out of Genesis, remember that class talks about how Genesis is very divided to  the scientific and skeptical mind. You know, is the earth young, old and a lot of  Times? That's a topic that's one of those debate topics, right? People feel  strongly about many things, but that's one thing, more strong about them  something else. So in this class all we are trying to trying to do is not saying you  should believe this or that but give a little room so that the cross of Jesus Christ  and the resurrection of the dead is not standing or falling. Someone has a 

problem with the age of the earth and that, that damns them for all eternity,  because we ship them that way. Talk about and there are in that class to talk  about what are one of our philosophy professors believe that you know that?  Well, Adam, Adam was the first representative of the covenant. The traditional  belief that we like is that Adam is the first human. His, the phosphoric point  where the good point because we've witnessed to a lot of skeptics, and a  curious discussion, because ultimately, we want Jesus Christ to be lord and  savior of someone's life. Resist trying to save the skeptic every media, so  people are wary. So in other words, trust that God will work through His Word  and His people in his time. Right? All right, the answer man or woman, this is the person who at whatever the topic is, whatever the question is, whatever the  verse is, they know what it is, they know what it means they know what we  should do they have an answer for everything, and they will say it first. Now, a  lot of times, you know, I do have an answer. So people in my church will come  up to me, and they'll have a question about the Bible, or whatever it might be in  theology or doctrine. Now, I could give them an answer, right? Yeah. But then I  become very, they become dependent on me as their answer, man. So what I  generally do is, you know, that is an awesome question. Why don't you research it? And then get back to me next week with what you figured out? Right?  Because I want you to do some of the work rather than just rely on me. Right?  So what do you do the answer, man or the woman, while going around the circle helps, because everyone has a shot at talking, enforce the two minute rule. And  here's here's where to get the answer man to lead with the rule that the leader  does not do the teaching, but only asks the question. So now, you know, you're  so smart. I would like you to maybe lead next week. But you can only do this  because your goal is to pre create a stage for everyone else. Right. It's almost  like the issue of the expert in the issue. The journey, the curious journey. And I  know when I've talked with answer man type I've talked about, you know that by  will say that back to the rules of engagement, if you're not setting this up, ahead  of time, the answer man will be offended or will take over in for when you try to  address it, then they'll be offended, if you try to fix it after the fact. So set the  expectations early on, is that you might even use that word, hey, we're not.  We're gonna try to eliminate being the answer, man. I am the leader. And we  want to be the first among equals to not try to be the answer man so that way,  no matter what the answer, man people are, they're on board with you in trying  to keep yourself regulated from being the answer person talk to the answer,  man, one on one, it's important to talk one on one, rather than have this  confrontation in the middle of the group. You don't want to embarrass someone  in the group. And ultimately, it's about the answer man becoming another leader  with discipleship, right. So all of this is not because you're trying to fix the  answer, man, no, you're trying to give a new stage. One of the things you might  do with the setting up the rules ahead of time is that you will be calling each one 

occasionally, just to talk about the group and talk about other things. We're  going to talk about things that you might want to share in the group. So that  when you do call, it's not like I'm being singled out. No, right. I call everybody.  out, How to go deeper. Okay, dive in point. So these are some tells or these are  some sort of things that might happen that you go, Okay, this might be an area  where we can find something deeper. So relationships when people get started  talking about answers, and they start talking about their marriage, and they start  talking about their family or their, you know, their aunt or the neighbor or  something like that. Usually, there's something there, and they want to share it,  but they're just throwing up the little thing. So if you can sort of follow up on that.  So you mentioned about your, your grandmother, you know, can you elaborate a little bit more about your grandmother, and now you've given them a stage to  maybe go a little deeper, right? I know in one of my Bible studies, when that  happens, we'll say Hey, can you give a minute or two about that? Too, even still  there because how many people can go deep into the next 15 minutes?  Emotions so when people are sad, or they might there might be a little tear a  little crack in their voice there's something deeper there, right? Nervous laughter sometimes people will say something and then they're laughing all the time. But  it seems sort of inappropriate, right? Well, that's because they're trying to protect themselves from this hurtful thing that's lurking beneath the surface. Gotcha.  Tears, of course, it's an obvious one and let people cry, don't make people feel  bad about it. Give them a little space to do it. And then this seems like is a  touching thing for you. Right? Can you say more about that, and but they'll need  a minute to be able to say anything. Laughter sometimes people that are always laughing, making jokes, a lot of times, again, people will do that make jokes all  the time, because they're protecting themselves from going deep. So there's  something there's some hurt, right? complaining, people that are complaining  about their marriage complaining about their boss and breather, you got I think  I'll just go back real quick on Oh, you're so you're blaming it on people always  blaming the government blaming the school blaming the boss, blaming the  spouse, you know, some people will want the will use the small group, as a  judge and jury for the relationship they have with their spouse, they argue, you  know, at home about things. And then at this group, you See, this is what we  were talking about, you see what she does. This is exact, this is what I'm trying  to do. But but she doesn't believe. So. You know, now they want you to sort of,  you know, chastise their spouse. Or silence, you know, maybe they usually  share, but now there's strangely silence silence. So as a leader, you're always  observing what's going on in the group, not just what people are saying, but the  body language. And, you know, someone's sitting there like this. Okay, so what's what's, what's going on? Note, be careful not to turn your Bible study into a  therapy session. Sometimes I ask myself, how can you avoid that? Because in  many times, when you really get to know me, I've seen it where you do 

everything in can, it just seems like that's, the question becomes, well, it can.  And sometimes it just goes there, and you follow the Spirit of God. And every  week, it's this therapy session. Generally, it's going to be therapy for a few, right, it's not therapy for all the participants, therapy for a few, then everyone else  becomes the therapist. And then us seven are therapist and you three are the  clients. And the group will eventually fall apart, because this is tiring and wearing out. And then the seven aren't getting much out of it just to tell the group if you  allow this to happen, because now having a therapy group. Some groups will  have a group is gonna have the five or 12 step type groups. And this is why  we're here. This is a Bible study class. Remember, right? Now, if you had a  therapy Bible study group, okay. And you're meeting because the agenda would  be 20 minutes of therapy. 20 minutes. That would be a different purpose. Right.  Okay, you're bei an encourager. Hey, thanks for sharing. No, no, let someone  just share then silence. Wow, that's interesting, insightful, thought provoking,  right? You know, be people, especially for the non talker, people, it takes a lot of  courage to say something in a group, am I gonna say it right? Am I going to be  able to get my thoughts out? And then they do it? And then it's silence. Right?  So the leader can just create an atmosphere of encouragement. Can you say  that again, I want to make sure I don't miss anything. It's just so encouraging  when someone notices, some insight that you gave that is so thought provoking. I never saw that in this verse. If you're the smart one in the group, and you say  that to somebody. Wow. That's really good. All right. So this is our last verse.  This is our last slide. And it's a good one Psalm. By the way, Psalm 119 might  seem lock lock longest chapter in the Bible, and every verse is about the word  God. Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. And so a Bible  study. The goal of a Bible study is really to help people We'll get the light that  God has to offer. We're, we're in this world we're trying to figure things out, we  see the evidence of God. But we don't know exactly what that means or where  it's going and the word of God that brings us that light. And having a Bible study  with a group of people is a great way to figure out that light and to share that  light with others. Wonderful