Video Transcript: The Power of Acknowledgement/Confession

The first step in using God’s power to restore relationships is confronting the conflict wildfire by going to the people who oppose us in the conflict.  The purpose in confrontation, you recall, is not to prove that we're right; the purpose is restoration of relationship.  This doesn't mean we compromise the truth or have to agree about every issue in dispute.  It just means we're going in an attempt to restore the relationship.  Restoring the relationship will better enable us to seek the truth and discuss perspectives and right any wrongs that may have occurred.  When someone is snared in the trap of offense, fruitful discussion of the issues is likely to be a frustrating endeavor.  But that's the first step on God's path:  a loving confrontation.  

The Second Step on God's path to restoration is the step of acknowledgement or confession.  

When someone confronts us in a wildfire, the Lord provides us with an opportunity to consider our ways and humbly acknowledge our need for the Lord's transforming work in any area of our life where something's been exposed.  After confrontation, we will experience one of three heart responses:  we’ll either respond to that confrontation with a Hard Heart, an Open Heart, or a Broken Heart.  

The Hard Heart is offended by the confrontation and resists the opportunity to acknowledge wrongdoing in the conflict.  Someone with an Open Heart response may deny or disagree with the content of the confrontation but there's a willingness to dialogue about reconciliation.  And the person with a Broken Heart will reflect grief or sorrow for their sin and what it has caused.  

The Bible teaches that the exposure and confrontation of sin produces two types of grief and sorrow in that person with a broken heart.  There's worldly sorrow, and there's Godly sorrow.  2 Corinthians 7:10 tells us, “Godly sorrow brings repentance, or a change in direction, a change in behavior or attitude, that leads to salvation and leaves no regret.  But worldly sorrow brings death.”

Worldly sorrow produces self-pity or excuses, embarrassment, blame, and a victim mentality.  There’s sorrow because their sin has been exposed.  But Godly sorrow produces repentance, a change in direction.  

When we acknowledge our sin and wrongdoing after we are confronted, our first response is to humbly confess our sin to the Lord and ask for his forgiveness.  We've previously reviewed 1 John 1:9 that says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Our second response after our sin has exposed is to confess our sin to those affected by it and to pray for them.  James 5:16, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

How an acknowledgement or confession of wrongdoing and sin is communicated has a significant impact on whether reconciliation will occur.  We are to communicate with grace and wisdom.  In his book, The Peacemaker, Ken Sandy has a list of 7 A's of confession.  And this list of the 7 A's is intended to give us an idea, a thought process, of what a complete confession looks like what an adequate confession looks like.  So when you have something to confess the 7 A's gives you something to measure your confession; am I thinking about all of the things that my confession should address.  So here's a list of the 7 A's.  

• The first one is Address everyone involved - all those who are affected by our sin.  

• We’re to Avoid “if, but, and maybe” because these are words of making excuse.  If I have sinned against you and you confront me on my sin and I, maybe I've lied about you to a third party, and you confront me about it, and I say, “Well, yes, I have sinned, and I confess my sin to you, I want you to forgive me, but if you wouldn't have said that about me yesterday, I wouldn't have lied,” I've just discounted everything I said in confession to you because I've essentially blamed you for my sin.  So we want to avoid that.  We want to take ownership of our actions and our words and whatever sin we may have committed, of whatever wrong we may have done.  We want to own it and accept responsibility for it.  

• We want to Admit specifically what we've done.  

• We want to Acknowledge the hurt we've caused, and 

• Accept the consequences for our behavior, such as making restitution.  

• The sixth A is Alter our behavior, change our attitudes and our actions going forward.  

• And finally, the last A is Ask for forgiveness.  After acknowledging and confessing our sin to someone, we have a great opportunity, one of the great opportunities in conflict, and that is to ask, the opportunity to ask the most important question you can ask in a conflict.  And that question is, will you forgive me?  

Some curious questions for your conflict story.  

• Is there anyone on your mind right now that you wronged in the past?  

• What might happen if you asked them to forgive you?  

• If they refuse to talk to you, could you write them a letter?  

• Will you pray about that and ask the Lord to lead you? 

Let's look at the notes from this lecture.  

• The Second Step on God's path to peace and restoration is to acknowledge or confess wrongdoing to those we have wronged.  

• There are at least three heart responses to confrontation, a Hard heart, an Open heart and a Broken heart.  

• There are two types of sorrow when someone acknowledges wrongdoing, worldly sorrow and Godly sorrow.  

• A thorough acknowledgement of wrongdoing is beneficial in getting to restoration.  Don't make excuses or blame others for your wrongs.  

• And the most important question we can ask in conflict:  Will you forgive me?  

Thank you for watching this lecture.  God bless you.  We'll see you next time.