Video Transcript: Puzzle Piece Perspective

I really want to talk this week specifically about that three-part plan in a little bit more depth. I did a quick introduction during last week, but I really want to sink into this three-part plan, as we consider how do we imagine a framework for being able to address and use the gifts of persons of all abilities within our congregations. So I wanted to begin with this first part, as we think more deeply about this thing called puzzle piece perspective, and I will warn you that this first section is going to be a wee bit longer than the universal design and responsive design sections because I really want us to have a firm grasp of what this puzzle piece perspective means to us. And then we're going to have a week following this on perspective, we're going to have a couple of weeks following this on universal design. And then we're going to have several weeks on responsive design because that's where we'll talk about things like autism and we'll talk about things like attention deficit, we'll talk about differences in mobility and vision, hearing those kinds of things. So, again, this first part, but really important that we can share a perspective together, but also that you can have some tools to bring to your community to share that perspective with them as well. 

So I wanted to just talk about puzzle pieces and one of the things I find so delightful is as we think about this puzzle piece in relationship to that scripture from Psalm 139, where it says that God knit us together, as theologians have looked at that, that knitting process that's such a creative, individualized opportunity between God and that person, God knit us together. And I suspect God used green and pink yarn for that knitting project. 

Green would be for those things that are really easy for us to do. Green are our gifts, our strengths, the things that often delight us because we're good at them, you know. But also part of that knitting plan would be those pink spots, those hotspots, those things that are challenges, and much more difficult for us to do. So as God knit each one of us together, we're, we're knit as a green and pink person, everybody could hold this puzzle piece, write their name in the middle and say, yep, that's me. I'm a combination of gifts and needs, strengths and challenges. And that is part of our design. And so as I think about how God knit me together, I'm going to introduce myself to you in green and pink. 

So green, my strengths would be anything that would have to do with words, because I love them so very, very much. I love to play with them. I have a Facebook account so that I can play Words with Friends with people. I love to play Scrabble and Quibbler and Boggle, anything with letters and words. I just love it. I love to read I like to write. My husband says honey, you also like to speak words. In fact, he was so delighted that we were going to be doing this course and he could say just use up all your words while you're there, would ya, because I tend to have a lot of words, I like to say.  That's green for me. The other thing that's green for me is being able to pay attention with words only. So if somebody is speaking… pastors usually love me. After they have gone past that agreed upon time allotment, whatever that is in your community, 20 minutes, an hour, they're, you know, they've surpassed that, I'm the one that's still listening and making eye contact, because that's easy for me. That's part of my green. 

Now already, you probably gotten the flavor that this is a very individualized thing, because you may take some of those things that I said were green for me and you'd say, oh my goodness, please don't let me stand up in front of a microphone or camera because I could, that's not my strength, right? Words are not for me. Or you might say really? Auditory attention? No, that is definitely pink. So again, God's creativity, God's knitting patterns are unique to each one of us. It's a very individualized thing that we do. 

But the truth is we have pink areas and I do as well. For me it is anything that has to do with eye -hand coordination, and I don't know if you have these in your community, but those game controllers, really. I mean, my kids would have PlayStation, Xbox, whatever the flavor of the month was. And I was always like, Hey, Mom, you want to play? Because every single time they would win and I would lose. I was set up that way from the beginning. Eye-hand coordination is not me, and please do not put me on a sports field. In fact, I would say to people don't throw things at me because I can't catch them. I can't kick them, I can't wiff them, I can't slug them, I can't do anything with items coming in my direction like that. My biggest goal is just to duck so I don't get hurt, right? If I can just protect myself from something flying in my direction. That's just always been pink for me. And I could have practiced a million hours out on some field, and I might have gotten a wee bit better. But it's almost like eye-hand coordination for me, it's just a really difficult skill. That's my puzzle piece. What's yours? 

In fact, another book that I've written is called Helping Kids Include Kids with Disabilities. And these pictures, or something like them are in the back of that book, as a way to put pictures with some things and some words that talk about the different things that our brain does for us. And so I'll go through a few of these. The truth is, they could be either green - a strength, or pink - a challenge in any one of us, right? So I added some more words in the middle, I'll talk about at the end, but these pictures are really something.

So, for example, paying attention. Well, you know what, for some people, that's really easy. That's a green area. For others, that is so pink. In fact, some of you might be like, man, I'm glad she's got some pictures. And she's got some other things, some activities, because I cannot focus on this computer screen any longer, right? So, you've got your pen, you're clicking it, you're doing some stuff standing up, some stuff sitting down, because that's a pink area for some people, children and adults. So again, a green or pink.

Another few things that our brain does for us, is like putting together puzzles that the visual abilities, the ability to arrange some things with our eyes. So we can take apart an item and put it back together effortlessly. That would be green for us. And others of us, oh my goodness, we're so glad that YouTube now posts videos of how to put the Weber Grill together, because we're never going to get it done if we can't watch it happen, you know, on the TV, or on the on the computer. So, again, some people are so good at problem solving with their eyes.

I often ask the groups this and I wonder what you suspect this would be like for your community. But when I do presentations, US and Canada, I'll often say, who here is really glad that I've brought along some, you know, pictures and PowerPoints and whatever, because you learn better when you can see something, as opposed to just hearing it. And I would say between 90 to 95% of the people raise their hand at that point, identifying themselves as a much more visual learner. 

And then I'll say, Well, who here could care less about the visuals because you tend to learn better by ear? Is that you? And I always raise my hand at the point because the truth is, that's me. I learned better with auditory verbal instructions. I've just have learned that if I want to connect with 90 to 95% of the community, I better also have some visuals. Because it is just no longer typical in our culture to learn by ear alone. Some communities, I would guess some countries, that still that number would be very different because there's a lot of oral tradition that that's way bigger part of how people learn and retain information. So it'd be an interesting question to ask in different countries; where would people put themselves. 

But no matter how the percentages come out the truth is, if you think about a typical worship service, what is that made up mostly of? I would say words. Words that are spoken, words that are read, words that are sung, words, words, words, words, words. Not very many visuals, not very many anchors, not very many things for people hang on to or see. If it's true in your community that 90 to 95% of the people remember things better if they can see it, shouldn't that help inform how we put together those opportunities for people? Just food for thought. So again, that's another thing people would be either green or pink in those areas. 

Oh, I mean, there are so many different things… solving problems, you can have some people are really good at it. Even our brain. This is fascinating to me. Understanding time can be green and pink in people. So for example, I don't know if this is true for you, but I am one of those people who never hears her alarm go off because I have I wake up two or three minutes before that alarm ever goes off. That is like my brain keeps track of time while I'm sleeping. Is that you as well? Or do you identify more with my son for whom there is no internal time clock anywhere? 

So you say to him, honey, you know, take a 10-minute shower, right? Oh, no, he would be in there for 40 minutes. You're like banging on the door; the hot water is gone. There is nothing inside of him that marks 10 minutes; nothing at all. So again, any one of these things can be green and pink. It is always interesting that my son and I did as well as we did in our home, because, wow, can that create some tension when I'm like always clocking time, and that's always like running in my head without even looking at a clock. And he has no time clock at all whatsoever it his body. So again, sometimes it can mean unique things for people.

I often think to something that is important is just the social aspect that can be part of our greens and pinks. So, you know, I'll often say, you know, as I'm looking and connecting with somebody, like, how close can you really get to that person before you get just a little bit uncomfortable, right? So you're gaining on people's territory, and you're getting too close to their face, and they're like back away, back away. Sometimes with a roomful of people, I will, I will do this example as I walk up on a on an individual and they'll say, Oh, my goodness. But even the people in the back of the room, I'm picking on the person in the front row, but the person in the back, they’re like, oh, she’s just getting too close to that person, right? They're very green in social skills. Their brain is giving them warning signs, you can't get that close, you know, that sort of a thing. Fascinating to me, though, that there are some people that are just wired so pink in that area. Do you know anybody who's a little bit pink in the social skill area? Like how close can you get to somebody?

How many prayer requests can you give as part of an hour session with adults? Is ten too many? Really? Because I like to use up all my 10. So there are some people that read a social environment. Or, you're trying to get your kiddos out of the nursery and you're clearly indicating the conversation is over but this person hasn't picked up on that yet. So again, any one of these can be on your green or pink side. 

I think the other thing I put in the middle are just these gifts of the Spirit – administration, teaching, compassion, encouragement, there's a whole slew of them. And there's many things I've not put up there. But I was kind in disclosing by puzzle piece. Would you just push pause, just take a minute, on a piece of paper somewhere, would you write out two or three of your greens? They might be up here, but maybe you're incredible cook, and you make whatever, Ethiopian meal that delights every guest that's ever been in your home. That definitely is a green thing, by the way, and I'd love to meet you. But your pink might not be up here. Your green might not be up here. That's okay. But individualize it for you. What, what are some of your greens? And what are a couple of your challenges or your hotspots? And would you just push pause? Again, you can use some of these. But consider your own life. Who are you in green and pink? Just pause for a moment.

Well, I hope you had fun thinking about your own puzzle piece. And that you took time to do that. Because this all has a point. In fact, I laid it out this way because if I'm going to bring a perspective to a youth group, to an adult setting, even to a children's setting, I almost always use these puzzle pieces. And let me tell you why. I've learned a lot of lessons from these puzzle pieces over the years and I want to explain to you some of those things that I've learned. 

First of all, I have discovered that many times people consider a person with a disability as an all pink person. Know what I'm talking about? Oh, it's down syndrome, Jonathan. It's cerebral palsy, Maria. It's wheelchair Carlos. And it's like that piece of who that person is, is the entire piece. Have you heard that said? Dementia Andy, right? Maybe not in those terms, but that's the intent. That that person does not have gifts to share. But you know what? That's not biblical. Scripture is very clear that God gives each one of us gifts to share with the community. We all have green spots, and we all have pink spots, but there are no all pink people. So I think that's so important as we interact with a person perhaps known to have a disability. Guess what? That's not wheelchair, Ryan. That's Ryan, who has many gifts to share with the community, who may also need support because of that wheelchair piece, right? Or whatever it could be. So I think that is a really important thing that I've learned. Many times persons with disabilities get treated as all pink people, not scriptural folks, God's given each one gifts. 

But since this is a course in leadership, I also wanted to add another important part. There are no all green people either. Sometimes I think as leaders, we imagine we need to be all green people.  We need to be able to do all the jobs, we need to be able to be in charge of all the pieces, right? That that is our identity. That's not who we are as leaders. That's not who we are as people. God doesn't make us all green. I mean, let's be serious, who would rather trade in their puzzle piece for an all green piece, because I would. But I believe in God's creative act in that hand-knitting that God talks about in Psalm 139, that this is a very specific reason. 

You know what, I'm not all green. Because if I were folks, I wouldn't need any of you. I could run the church all by myself. Really. Seriously. I could preach the sermon, I could teach every age level of kids. I could do all the visiting. I could, I could bake the meal for the people that just got to the hospital and needed one. I could fix the building, the air conditioning, the furnace when it broke, and I would not need anyone else. That is not how we're designed. I believe even by our design, people, all of our greens, all of our Pink's are intended to be hooked together. In fact, that's the next lesson; in puzzle pieces, they fit together. 

So puzzle pieces, again, that fit together those places where I'm strong, I come alongside of somebody, places where they're strong, they come alongside of me. We fit together in the body of Christ like a giant God body puzzle. Again, related so beautifully to that verse in 1 Corinthians 12:18, “God has in fact, arranged the parts of the body, just as He wanted them to be.”

Now think about this. Not only does God take time to hand knit each one of us with particular gifts and needs in the spirit individual way, but then God takes time to arrange and place us in communities. Isn't that an incredible thought? That God not only cares for this individual, but also for the community and the arrangement that we're in. In fact, I think of this sometimes with the stories that people have talked to me about because the truth is, as we think about this reality and scriptures, we think about that beautiful picture, how easy it is for some communities to say, Oh, I'm sorry, we don't have anything for you here. And they send a person away. And I think, oh my goodness, God had God had knit that person and then was arranging that person, and you sent that person away. 

Who loses? Who loses? Who do you think loses in that situation? And I would contend, everybody loses. This individual does not have access to the richness of this gift called the church. The body of believers that we get to do this life with together here. But also the community lost out. That individual that God had made and was intending to arrange with us, we just sent that person away. That person that was to grow us in some way, that person that was to make us stronger, we just sent that individual away. So I think this topic is important. We need to understand that each person is part of this community God makes and places, and what a powerful, what a powerful introduction to God's creative act in each of us, but also his intent for community. 

Another lesson that I've learned about puzzle pieces, is sometimes leaders have to be willing to go first. I don't know if you remember this session, who was the first person to share her puzzle piece. I did it on purpose. Because the truth is when leaders say, well, I’m a combination of greens and pinks, it gives everybody else permission in that community to say, that's me. That's me to. I can use my gifts in God's service here. I might even be called on to use some of my pinks in God's service here, but we can network together. I don't need to do everything well. And each piece is valuable. 

You know how terrible it is to have a puzzle when there's one piece that's just missing at the end of it all. It's this gaping hole in the creation that you were trying to make. How important it is that each piece has a place of belonging in that puzzle frame.

But I want to highlight this too. There was a pastor who was well loved in the congregation, and he made it known after the message was done one day, you know, I have had a difficult month. I've reserved room 47 in our church for today, after the worship service. I was recently diagnosed with depression. And I just wonder how many other families that has touched in our community. And I, I would love to invite you for just a discussion in room 47. That room was so packed, they had to move the discussion back to the sanctuary. Because all of a sudden, the pastor went first. It gave permission for people to talk about something that they might not have talked about before, or might not have felt free to talk about before. Sometimes, as leaders, we need to step out there. 

I know, some of the best teachers have children or those who say, I'm not so very good at drawing these pictures. But, Amelia, I've noticed you are. Would you be willing to draw a picture for us of, you know, whatever scene you're creating. Again, puzzle pieces. Can we teach people from an early age that we depend on one another within this puzzle? 

So those are just some of the of the pieces that I've learned and I think, overall, it's easy to say this. It's not Down syndrome Jonathan that we're talking about. This is not wheelchair Bob. No, this is Jonathan, who has been made in God's image, who has been made for a purpose who, who is a member of the Body of Christ, who's uniquely gifted, who's to be considered important and indispensable, who fills a specific spot in God's kingdom work, who also may happen to have, I don't know, fill in the blank, right? That's who Jonathan is. 

And I think that as we begin to see that language is true for 100% of us who are part of the body of Christ. It allows us to pass out a perspective that sees this not as a choice, but sees this as a way we function together within our congregation. It's not a can. This is part of who we are. We do life together here. People of all abilities. We belong together and to one another. 

So I'm hoping you're saying yay and amen to this. That this is exciting to you as well. I think what some people might tend to say is seriously, Barb, so what? You just went through this whole puzzle piece thing. Thank you sort of entertaining, whatever. But how does this perspective make a difference within our church community?

So, I’ve picked a few ideas, although you may have many more, to just entice you. I think in terms of children, I've heard birth announcements from a pastor made this way. I'm so sorry to inform you, that Harriet and Dirk gave birth to… really? Because did they give birth to a baby who's been made in God's image and a baby who is going to change the fabric of this church, a dearly loved child of God who is to be considered important and indispensable? Or did they give birth to a disability? Because I would rather give a birth announcement that introduces this puzzle piece perspective of who this individual is that's coming into our community, clearly a child who also may happen to have ….

So, I think while parents, Harriet and Derek, are probably going to need a space of time to think about and adjust because this was not what they had expected, they can walk back into a community that is ready to receive their child as a child with gifts and a child with needs, along with all of the other children and adults in this setting. I think it makes a difference how we make a birth announcement.

I think it makes a difference how we visit a baby in the hospital. I don't know about you, but I bet you'd much rather visit a baby than a disability. If you go to visit a baby. There's tons of stuff you can talk about. How much hair does this baby have? How long was the labor and delivery? Are you going to nurse or are you not going to nurse? What color is the baby's bedroom? I don't know, whatever. You've got a whole list of things you can talk about. 

Now the conversation might weave around too… so, I don't know much about cerebral palsy, but I'm eager to learn along with you as parents. I mean, it's not that you have to totally avoid that. But can't we visit a baby first? Can't the parents taste what it's like to have that experience? 

I will bring it one of these weeks. There's a book called I choose Adam, written by a friend of mine, and they had given birth to a child with Down syndrome. And clearly the people in the hospital didn't get this picture. Right? They didn't know who this was. The doctor actually said to the parents, oh, I don't think you should take it home. I don't think that it should be in your family. It will never read; it will never have friends; and it will mess up your life. I will find a different place for it. Just go on with your lives. 

Clearly that doctor did not have that puzzle piece perspective. Clearly there are some people outside the Christian community and sometimes some within the Christian community that don't see through those puzzle piece lenses that God has given us as we look at that baby. You'll hear more about Adam. But that was an amazing beginning to Adam’s journey. And I will tell you, Adam’s dad firmly knew about the puzzle piece perspective, because he looked at the doctor and he said, Our child is named Adam, we are taking him home. As for you, I don't want you anywhere near him ever again. So again, that was Adam’s first two minutes of life, and the conversation around that. 

But again, let's visit babies. Let's celebrate a baby. Let's be realistic about the challenges that lie ahead. Let's give parents that space of time because they do need to adjust. And we all get that. But we're preparing to receive a missing puzzle piece into our community. And we can do that by preparing the congregation with those open arms. 

I think another thing that makes a difference is just when you interview a parent. Let's imagine you have a child coming into youth group or Sunday school. And so you know, the conversation could go like this. Oh, hi, it's so good to meet you, Sue. I was just wondering, so what's wrong with Devin anyway? 

Yeah, so like, what color did I start with? That would be the pink color. The truth is, and you could talk to that Sue about it, that's where the whole world starts. That's where everybody outside the Christian community starts, saying what they tell you - how many degrees below zero, how a typical, how many percentage points below? That is the conversation. They focus on the pink in Devon's life. We don't have to do that. God has given us very different lenses of who Devin is. 

So just even feel the difference of the first question, you can ask Sue. Sue, I'm so excited that Devin is going to be part of my group. I just wonder what does he love to do? See, we can start with that green. And our conversation can weave around to the pink and we can ask, so you know, I just wanted Devon to be successful here. I want him to belong in this class in a great way. Tell me what are some things that might be challenges for him in this place? But man, do I want Sue to know that I see a child who's an image bearer of God, who has been sent as his gift to this community, who has an important place of belonging in this community, that we are going to do life with Devin here. And I'd like some information, right? And some of that information is tell me about his green stuff. Tell me about his gifts. 

So again, I think that puzzle piece perspective is critical in in interacting around areas that involve children. But also I think, in overall within our churches and with adults, what do we name our opportunities? Do you really want to list on your website that we have a ministry for people with disabilities? Because in some ways that word for, that preposition for, or to people with disabilities? To and for would sort of say like, you're an all pink puzzle piece, and I'm a green one, and I'm going to take care of you. Or could we think of something different? Could we think of a way to say we do ministry with persons of all abilities? Or we have an accessible ministry? We have a children's ministry where people of all abilities can belong.  

What words can you put around it so that people get a clearer picture of that puzzle piece community that you are creating in your community? Be careful with your words. I would often say this for people taking seminary classes. If the only time you hear about this topic is in the congregational care class, that Seminary has just painted and washed that puzzle piece pink. I think we need to think about worshiping with people of abilities and learning with people of all abilities. Could we plant this topic in a variety of courses, so that people can have an exposure to the idea that look, we're expecting people of all abilities show up and worship, so let's talk about it here. Anyway, it’s just something to think about. 

In congregational care is important because each one of us is in a place where we need that pink side perhaps, or a situation in life and we need a community to come around us. We're going to talk about that because that's important to have a response as a congregation how we can care for one another. But that doesn't mean we don't also expect that person to bring gifts to the community. 

I want to also touch on something called person first language. Maybe this is familiar to you. And again, some of you may be experiencing a unique thing in that English is not your first language, so you're going to have to do a little bit of translation as I as I speak about this. But remember how I was talking about, oh, it's wheelchair Bob. It's Down Syndrome Sue. Person-first language would say, no, no, no. Let's put the person first. That's Bob, who is a wheelchair user. It's Jonathan, who has Down syndrome. So you don't say that's a Down syndrome boy. You say that's a boy with Down syndrome. You put the person first. I think this is really important. 

A person making announcements. I've heard some horrible words coming out of people's mouths. I was at a conference, it was a children's ministry conference, and I had one woman well-meaning, and I never want it to stop a conversation from happening. But she came up to me and she said, I have 10 Downs. Really? Are you meaning to tell me that you have 10 children? Person first. Ten children with Down syndrome? Yeah, yeah, I do. Okay. 10 Downs? I don't even know what that means. So, can we get used to using person-first language?

I've often heard some interesting words around people. So you could say somebody is wheelchair bound. We often use that language, but the truth is, a wheelchair actually frees people to move around. So we often would suggest, you know, that's a person who's a wheelchair user. They're not bound by that. 

So watching our language is important. We're going to give you some links later on for you to explore on the All Belong Website. And they're all color coded. And so it says use person-first language. If you click on that, it will give you several examples of what that means. What is person-first language. So again, I think it's very again, this is this is not Down syndrome, Jonathan, this is Jonathan, who has been made in God's image to fill a specific part of God's Kingdom to be considered honored and indispensable. So… who also may happen to have.

I think that kind of language is important. I will mention as an aside that person-first language is often… no, is great, important to use if you're holding a microphone. Every once in a while, you will meet an individual who may have autism who says no, I'm an autistic. Alright, if you find out in relationship that that person prefers to be referred to in a specific way, well go for it. 

I have a friend, and you'll meet her later on Tori, who's going to help with some of the pieces of this course. She happens to have Lyme disease and has had that as part of her life. Well, within that community, they may call each other limeys but for me to walk up to Tori and say, Hey, limey, is not an appropriate thing for me to do, right? That's Tori who's filled with gifts, you will discover this as well, who happens to have a diagnosis of Lyme disease. If Tory would say to me, hey, Barb, you know what, this has been a week? Just refer to me as a limey. Well, I would have permission to do that, then because she gave that to me. But I would say in this world of language and talking, first-person first language is important to us, especially at a microphone or when you are writing. So explore that a little further. 

Another thing that I think of is just some phrases that we use. The Christian Reformed Church in North America, the Reformed Church in America has this great tagline. Everybody belongs -  everybody serves. We need to use everyone's greens. I find that to be beautiful and consistent with the puzzle piece perspective. 

So I know I've given a lot of information. I guess what I'd like you to think about now is what are you thinking about? What application did this whole thing have? Not only for your own life, but for the perspective that you bring to your church and community? Are you going to examine what you've named your opportunity within your community? How do you greet parents? How do you collect information? What about this person-first language and what does that mean for those that hold a microphone in your congregation? I would just encourage you to think about greens and pinks. Have you met somebody? Do you have an individual in your community? Have you explored the greens that that person brings? Have you allowed for that to happen? 

So again, I would encourage you between now and the next session to really think deeply about this perspective and what application this has to your setting, to your community. Again, it might be groundbreaking. You might live in a community, in a country, where persons with disabilities are not seen at all as having green places. What a witness, what a light, what a different focus we can bring to that conversation and what a different experience persons can have within our church and our place of worship. 

So imagine that together with me. Enjoy the delight of puzzle piece and puzzle piece communities. Find somebody to share it with and delight in your own greens and delight in the people God has sent to you to compensate for those areas of pink because that's a gift as well. Have a wonderful day.