Video Transcript: Equipping Others

So again, here we go into our final week.  Hope you are feeling eager, hope you've had a chance to try some things, hope you are ready to change the stories in your part of the world as it allows you to interact with people who have a variety of abilities but can be part of your community.  

So really want to talk again, back to that statement that we've made several times, every good plan has two parts.  But now let's be a little more specific about that.  How can we really resource peers, and this could be peers who are children in a Sunday school class, youth group members, or could be adults who are part of a congregation.  I learned early on that it was important to be able to resource and leave this idea with peers.  Information is very, very powerful.  

So, the first book I ever wrote is the book called Helping Kids Include Kids with Disabilities.  Knowing that we need to set the stage, we need to pass out those eyeglasses so people can best understand.  But I want to give you some very practical tools now, tools that I have used in a variety of settings to help promote those areas of belonging.

One of the things that I would just say is sometimes we're in a position where we need to equip peers in general.  We're not really going to use the name, well, our friend, Miguel has autism, so I want to teach you about that.  There are some occasions when you might highlight Miguel; that would be preparing peers very specifically.  So I want to talk first about general ways of equipping peers.  And then I want to talk about more specific to an individual and how we might allow a chance to delight in the way Miguel was made, or the way that Anna was made.  And but I think so often, we're in a place where really we need to talk about people in general.  

So one of the reasons why I love these puzzle pieces so much is it does give us a chance to talk in general about a variety of people.  It allows us to talk about how God creates each one of us differently.  It gives us format for talking about a variety of hand knit God patterns.  And I'm not singling anybody out this way, I'm singling everybody out.  I can tell about my own pattern; I can talk about this friend's pattern, and I can talk about Miguel's pattern as part of this setting as well.  So we're all the same.  We all have greens and pinks.  Each one of us has been hand knit by God.  And now we can delight in some of those patterns.  

So, often, a way that I use these puzzle pieces, as I would say in general, is to be able to talk about okay, I want everybody to prepare your own puzzle piece.  Think of those areas that are easy for you.  And I'll give some illustrations, give some things that are more difficult for you; we put names on them, we hook them together.  But before we hook them together and say well, let's share some of our puzzle pieces.  And of course, I've gone first.  Remember that. I've gone first I've shared my puzzle piece.  And now we have a chance. But I'm going to make sure that I get a chance to highlight Miguel's puzzle piece as well.  

I'm not going to talk about autism, but I'm probably going to say You know from Miguel, Miguel is incredibly great at memorizing things.  He's memorizes the scriptures and you know, again, I would have helped Miguel make his own puzzle piece, but we can celebrate those areas where Miguel is strong.  And again, being able to put together visual puzzles, really great strength of Miguel's he's so good at that.  Drawing blueprints for things that also is one of Miguel’s strengths, but then we can talk about not always knowing how to interact with somebody or know the social rules.  So I don't have to use the word autism.  It's done within the context of everybody else sharing a puzzle piece.  So it's appropriate for us to delight in Miguel's piece along with everyone else.  

So there's a way to talk about greens and Pink's gifts and needs, but we can also talk about some specific ones that relate to everyone in the group without singling anyone out.  And I found this to be a wonderful way to compare stories and to give the group some information about some uniquenesses that are part of each person, but also part of Miguel.  And then to take those puzzle pieces, join them together, build a wonderful wall display, and celebrate the fact that we form a giant body puzzle in the body of Christ.  And then it commissioned the group, depending on the age to say, No, we don't want any puzzle piece to fall out this year.  That's your job; to keep all the pieces together.  And literally to leave that up because there are times, let's imagine a youth group, where things are crumbling a little bit, and to be able to go and say we have a dangling puzzle piece.  So we need to work on this a little bit and challenge people to think about how we can put the puzzle back together.  So a puzzle pieces are one of those ways where you can really equip a group to see the gifts, the needs of each person, even some specific needs within the group without having to say, Well, my friend, Miguel has autism.  So those are just some … or whatever it may be … I just chose that as a, as a topic. 

I think it's also a delight to be able, in general, to think about a situation that might involve a story or a movie.  So, for example, I'm not sure that you've seen it in your area, but there was a movie called Wonder, and a book, a great book called Wonder.  And there's this person who has some physical differences in school, and people's different reactions to this individual, and to call those out, to highlight those reactions.  How did people interact?  And then to say, Well, if we would have this individual come and be part of our community, what kinds of things do you think we could say and do that would honor the fact that this person is an image bearer of God, that this person is dearly loved by God that this individual has been, you know, is an important member of our community?  What words could we use and how do you think God would want us to interact with wonder, you know, that this individual if you are part of our community.  So I think again, sometimes using a movie or a book that has a character with a disability, and then bringing it closer in, you know, what would this look like here?  

One of the items in our store that we used to have, I don't know that we still do, but it's a children's book called Be Good to Eddie Lee.  The author's name is Fleming.  In Be Good to Eddie Lee, again, a great way to read a book, to look at this.  Well, this is what happened in this story.  

Eddie Lee happens to have Down syndrome.  How are we, you know, two other children in the story relate very differently to Eddie Lee.  One is downright cruel.  One is very, becomes accepting and loving, and begins to see Eddie Lee’s gifts.  So once again, how would we want to treat Eddie Lee should he be part of our community.  But it lets us practice those things.  It lets us look at those things.  

I think there are time and time, even YouTube clips that come through that show different ways that people are being treated, honored or dishonored, included or excluded.  And as adults, we can look at those and think very carefully, what does that look like in our community?  But I think those give us a chance to evaluate the session situation, react to it, and then pull it closer to our situation.  But it lets us form that attitude and that framework.  So I call those things getting ready in general, whether we use puzzle pieces, whether we use a movie clip, a book, we use a character or even a situation that's hot in the news where we are.  How can we use that to help grow ourselves in terms of equipping peers to receive the gifts that each one brings as part of community?  

One of the reasons that I have told a lot of stories throughout this course is I think stories are one of those ways.  So, we have to be able to mind those stories.  Is it okay with the community that the first time a child's body is welcome in churches in a casket?  Specifically, at All Belong Center for Inclusive Education, one of the free things you will find are two excellent videos that you can watch:  One Body, and Worship as One - Disability and Community.  Watch those.  Compare those to your own community.  What would it be like to have that individual visit your congregation?  And what gifts did you see in the congregations that were highlighted?  So those are out there specifically so that you can use them to create and equip individuals who are part of your community.

May I challenge you, too, as you're thinking about equipping peers, just using that quick thumbs up-thumbs down approach?  What do you think?  What are the statistics?  Do you think this story is true or false?  It's a very quick way to get people engaged in thinking about okay, what's happening, and what would reflect what's good in our congregation and what we're doing well, and would we ever want that to happen here?  So, use those kinds of tools to equip peers.

We equip children, we talk about the delight in God's knitting, and how those so vastly different from person to person.  We can talk about puzzle pieces with both children and adults, this works well in both of those settings.  Or we can talk about movies, books, stories, those kinds of things.  It really, really does help prepare congregations and peers in general.  

But I would suggest, there are also some ways that we can think about that prepare people specifically.  So again, one of the books that I wrote is called Helping Kids Include Kids with Disabilities and I have several lesson plans in that book.  With permission, and again, helping kids, so this is more for children and youth settings, but it's filled with three parts.  

The first part in several different areas of disability says, Okay, here's a fact sheet about what is a hearing difference?  What is autism?  What is an intellectual disability?  And it just is a short description, because I know, having been children's ministry director, that if I took that piece of paper, I could give it to one of my volunteers, it's only one page, they would read it, and they would have a general understanding of what that is.

Then, the next part of each section is a lesson plan that you could use to teach peers about a particular individual.  Now, there are some in general things in the book as well.  But it's pretty much set up to be specific.  So if I know that Anna, who happens to have Down syndrome is going to be part of this group, I want to teach about that.  I want the kids to delight in Anna, and in that specific thing called Down syndrome.  We're quick to do that.  And we do that with Anna in the room because we're not putting her down.  We're not calling her an all pink person, we're calling her a part of the group and delighting in the way that God has created her and calling on the peers to be part of Anna's life.  

So anyway, one of the lessons that I've used in there has car keys, or a set of keys at least, and it goes something like this; and I will apply this to the kindergarten student I did this with who happens to have autism.  But again, there are lesson plans for a variety of different disability areas so that you can pull one that works.  Actually, the key one works with a variety of disability areas, too.  I just believe in the book; I've tied it to a child with autism.  So again, we had trained the leaders to know about that, but I went in to do a lesson and it went something like this.  

All right, boys and girls, I want to ask you this question.  I want to know when babies are born, do they have their crying key?  You don't need to explain much more about keys than that.  Do they know how to cry?  Do they have their key for crying?  Oh, yeah, you know, and my mom had a baby and she cries all the time.  So they know that.  

And then I'll say a few other examples.  I might say, do they have their eating pizza key?  Oh, no, they don't know.  Sometimes God gives us keys for thing rooms right away and sometimes we have to wait to get that key until a little bit later.  So at that point, we've gone through some examples.  And then I'll say, you know, I wanted to introduce you to somebody in this classroom.  In fact, I wrote a really big word up over here.  And I wonder, is there anybody here who knows how to read that word?  

You know, clearly, although he didn't know what it meant, my friend Scott knew how to read that word.  And there was not one other kindergartener who knew how to do that.  So Scott, clearly just called out the word and read it.  And all of the kids are like, oh, so that was a pretty amazing thing.  I've done this with children with Down syndrome and often make note of the fact that that individual can talk on the bottom of her foot like a telephone, or both feet at the same time, depending because of the flexibility and the like.  

So anyway, I find that gift that we can highlight.  But for Scott, it was definitely the reading. I said, That's right.  You know what Scott already has his reading key.  And as you go through this year, you might get your reading key, too.  I'm excited to hear about that.  So and if you need any help with a word, you could ask Scott because he already has his reading key.  

How many of you know how to play on the playground?  Now?  You know, we went through that; and do you have your playground key?  Yeah, they knew how to do that.  I said, You know what?  Scott's never had a chance to play on the playground before.  He's not really had friends at a school before.  So I think I'm excited because he might get his playground playing key from you here.  So that was the end of the discussion.  

The third part, and I'm so glad it was there because I'm giving you a real life example, is a letter to parents and peers that can be adapted, because we know that kids go home with stories and they might go to Sunday school, go home with stories, whatever that might be, and that indeed, with parents’ permission, Scott’s parents’ permission, we sent this letter home to the other classmates.  It was a wonderful day, a lesson.  But the very next day, I was so convinced this was the right thing to do, to give information to the teacher and the helpers in the class, to give information to the peers in the class, and to give information to the parents because the next time they met, sure enough, down I saw, coming down the hallway, here is Scott being hauled by another kindergartener who has a bite mark here with blood dripping off his arm, calm as can be.  Now, if you've been with kindergarteners who get bit they're never calm, but this kiddo was calm.  He pulled Scott over to me and says, I think we need to find Scott's no biting key.  

Again, an amazing thing that had happened.  He realized, through this filter, that Scott wasn't being mean, he just didn't have his key for not biting.  Now, clearly, we discovered that key quite quickly for Scott.  But it was this incredible testimony to information.  And I think there are times when we will want to highlight an individual.  We might want to highlight autism, or the building blocks that God uses in someone with Down syndrome as kids ask questions.  Again, we are giving information about a specific individual. 

I often relate that to my own hearing loss and what I've gone through.  I will sometimes say, if I'm in a room or with people for a significant amount of time, I might say to them, You know what?  There will be a time when I might … you might say something and I might not answer you.  The reason for that is because I don't hear well in this ear, and sometimes my hearing aid isn't all that helpful, either.  So please tap me on the shoulder, because if I don't say that, there are a couple of possibilities.  

A person might say my name if I'm leading a conference, and they go, Oh, man, it was probably a horrible question, because she didn't even respond to me.  So they might misinterpret what it is that I just did in ignoring their comment.  Another response for somebody might be Boy, that lady sure is a snot.  She thinks she's all that, you know?  Here, I get my comments and she doesn't even respond.  Who does she think she is?  

I don't want either one of those reactions because neither one is accurate.  I would rather tell people about my hearing loss because then they can accurately interpret what's going on.  People ask that, too, you know, is it okay to tell people about your dad and dementia?  Well, you know what?  They're already going to notice that something's different about Dad.  I would rather equip people with the information that they need to interpret what it is they see.  It goes back to passing out those eyeglasses, those puzzle piece eyeglasses that we have shown from time to time.  

So think about that.  Would you rather pass out information to allow people to best interpret what they see, to allow that student to best say, Oh, my goodness, I think we need to find Scott's no biting key, to allow the parents to have read about the joy of having Scott in their room, so that when that call comes home, they, too, have a reference for what's been going on.  Information, we have found over many, many years of doing inclusion in both schools and congregations is an important tool.  

Remember, you cannot give specific information out about an adult or a child without proper permission.  Did I say that loudly enough?  You need to get it and you should get it in writing because and sometimes even, we've invited parents to give that information.  We've had parents put together wonderful books about their child.  And they come and read that to the community, specifically letting them know.  So there are so many possibilities, so many ways.  But my suggestion is that you take the time you need to equip peers by doing lessons, by doing things in general or specifically.  

Again, we have a lot of resources on our website that can be helpful.  We put a lesson plan with those puzzle pieces, and you'll get 20 of them in that kit if you order the Inclusion Awareness Kit.  There's the book Helping Kids Include Kids with Disabilities.  There's that little devotion book that I wrote called Bodybuilding.  We have a book available called Your Feet, My Shoes, which is a great activity-based thing that you can do with K-8, to really increase that awareness in general.  Bodybuilding, again, taking Scripture as a basis in general to celebrate the gifts in a community.  Again, puzzle pieces that can be in general, Helping Kids Include Kids has some general ideas, but again, it's intended to be specific direction when we're introducing a particular individual to a group so that they can best interpret what they see through a God based lens.  

So equipping peers very, very important.  I hope that you've gotten some ideas that stretch your imagination, but don't skimp on that part of the opportunity.  This is where we say 100% of the people in this community grow and learn because this individual was part of it.  And so equipping peers to best receive that gift to understand God's knitting pattern in each one of us, and sometimes very particularly in an individual that is part of their group.  

So, again, that's this week.  And part two of this week is going to be thinking about resourcing volunteers and leaders within your congregation.  So have a wonderful rest of your day and we'll see you back soon.