Video Transcript: Small Group Making Practices
We're talking about small groups. And you know, I want to really get very practical here. Like, let's say you're launching life groups specifically. Now, again, some of these practices can occur, and can be for all your small groups. But let's just say you're going to launch some life groups, hospitality groups, house churches, all of those things that will help your church plant grow. So let's talk about the keys for setting up small groups. And again, we're thankful for Ben Reed in his book starting small. If you want to get people plugged in to small groups, there are two steps you have to take, help people find group in physically connecting them with others, and ensuring that they have a stellar group experience spiritually, emotionally, experientially connecting them with others. And more of this is talked about in his book and chapter five, if you want to get that book from Ben Reed, that would be, you know, a really good idea of starting small, the ultimate small group blueprint, but I'm just going to let you know some of these things now. And I think you'll probably get what you need. Relationship, setup small groups, relationships, relationships, relationships. Before we get into the specifics of different types of small group launches, let's get one thing out of the way. The best way to form a small group is purely through relationships, not an event, the church puts on, not through an online sign up, or through a church wide initiative, or like a bulletin. It's about relationships. So get that in your mind. And that's how all church planting is. Not just sign up a small group ministry. But all church planting is about relationships. Know that even if you're an introvert or an extrovert, learn that people smart relationship. Contagious movements are what you're going to be all about as a church planter. Previous relational trust is key. When you have a prior relationship with someone, there's a trust that you've already built, you've laid the groundwork that typically takes months to do in a small group. So much of a small group success or failure is contingent upon trust, trusting what is said in the group stays in the group. So when you start a group, you want to recruit with that trust. But then when you have a group, you want that relationship trust to stay in that group for each other. You might want to talk, for instance, about confidentiality, things even cell groups forming without relational capital. Now, sometimes in a church plant, that's just the way it is. You have a bunch of people come into your church, they don't really know anybody, they have no preexisting relationship capital. And you're still seeking to start small groups and to build a relational capital. So here's how Ben Reed says to do it, make the connection and event one on one, invitations and relationships works better for connecting people in small groups. However, it is not the only way to make a connection. most effective. The effective way I found to connect people in small groups, when it's not through relationships, is through the event, call it whatever you want. The Connect Now the Group link, the grouping up connections or something entirely else. The fact of the matter is, is sometimes you just need to do an event. And maybe it's like the once a year big kickoff for the group link, the
grouping up whatever that is, sometimes you need to do that. The event that launches these new relationships, small groups, is a chance for you to launch multiple small groups at the same time, by inviting people to a neutral location. That is not someone's house up to four times a year. At this event, people will meet group leaders commit to a new small group. I've hosted this event on Sunday mornings immediately following the worship service. But this event can be done on Sunday nights, inviting people to come back to church. There's a lot of ways to do this. And Ben talks about doing this four times a year. It's four gateways into the small groups. And I think that four times is really, really great to do that once a quarter because of new people coming to church a lot of times churches do it once a year, a small group start you miss it, you miss it. But if you have four gateways in that would really make sure that you're assimilating new people. Maybe consider not doing a Sunday morning event. Time, other than Sunday morning, there's a lot of options under the other any other time category, but in the end, they are similar in one way. You don't get as the nearly as much interested people if you go to a not Sunday morning event, but those that do come will be committed, the ones that show up to your event will sink their teeth in and join the group, your retention rate from the event will be massively higher than those done on the Sunday morning event, you won't have groups starting with 20 in attendance. And by week two have an attendance of five, you'll be starting groups with ten in attendance and retaining those 10. And you know why that is, is because if someone is going to come to another time other than the Sunday morning service, they're committed to want to be in a small group ministry. Let's talk about some practical things. When you start small groups. And this these are going to be things that you might teach in your test group for leaders how to set up meetings. My friend John Grogan, says circles are better than rows. They have, he may have stolen that phrase. But since I don't know who said it, first, I'll give John the credit circles promote group growth, unity, combined synergy toward knowing God, encouraging others correcting each other and pushing the others toward God's best. The reality is, I don't know, any, I don't know. everything there is to know about the Bible, God hasn't revealed all the angles. And, and the very beauty of the truth in me. The fact that Ben Reed brings this up is because he has seen as a expert in church leader in small groups, that circles are better than rows. So keep that in mind. The role of food, ice cold soda and dessert can help any group during the first few group meetings, people are nervous, they don't know each other, don't know what to expect and aren't fully comfortable. Striking up. And maintaining a conversation with someone meals gives you a natural reason to congregate together. You're sitting around a table together around a living room together for a specific purpose to eat. There's just something psychologically important about eating together. So make sure to have food, especially as you start new groups. Food contributes to attendance. When you serve snacks, you're not the only one who
brings them, you share the responsibility for making sure your group succeeds giving one more person a chance to contribute to your group, which means that if they're if you're there, you're there. And if you're and they're there. That's two
now so you've got at least a small group of two every week that you and the one who brings the snacks. But it really does create more buzz when more leaders are involved. Prioritize eating together, meals help reorient our thinking too. Tim Chester in meals with Jesus says meals slow things down. Some of us don't like that we like to get things done. But meals force you to be people oriented instead of task oriented. Sharing a meal is not the only way to build a relationships. But it's the number one in the list. If you want your group to succeed Plan to Eat together, it doesn't matter what your group decides stacks a meal dessert, but decide on something. How clean should your house be. So my challenge with you is to clean your house, but don't sweat it. invite people into your life. If you're always got a pile of mail, on the entryway table, then leave it there. Don't feel like everything has to be perfect. Though this will communicate boatloads of hope through this, you'll communicate boatloads of hope that people can come as they are to a small group. They can be who they are warts and all. They can bring their victories, also their struggles, the pile of mail tells them it's okay not to have everything completely put together all the time. And that this is a safe place to be real. You know, I've seen that so often where people are so perfect in their house clean, they had stressful to even have the small group. But if they just relax, it also communicates to people that they can have a small group someday without being so perfect. What about prayers? The more you use theologically technical, technical, complicated words, when you pray out loud, the more you're encouraged to shut down during prayer time. Why? Because they don't have that vocabulary. At some layout level. praying out loud is like public speaking. Glossophobia the fear of public of public speaking strikes 75% of people at some level, and we as a culture are deathly afraid of speaking in public. So in prayer, be very simple. Lord, I thank you for everybody here today. And we ask that Your Holy Spirit comes each person has their needs we pray that you will minister to us in Jesus name, amen. Simple prayers. And when you ask for requests, these prayers can just mention the name and that simple request. Make small groups fun, it it's not fun people won't come back it's possible to get more information in a more convenient way than through many and in more convenient ways. And other means podcasts, books, blogs, forums, offer information discussion environments, at any time of the day, every day of the year. What separates small groups from these environments is the relationship face to face aspect. Make sure you maximize this. If there's no fun, it's life sucking. If your group is intensely serious, it will drain the life out of the people. We are we are only where to take so much seriousness. And often, every other environment in our lives gives us plenty of seriousness. But small groups are to be fun, a fun place
to learn and to grow. If there's no laughter people are missing out on great medicine. A joyful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Maybe what hurting people need isn't more medicine but a healthy small group. They need to laugh together so hard. They snort they need to laugh at themselves. They need to laugh at a corny joke they need I'm not sure how it works. But after a difficult day at work with kids finances with inlaws laughing helps melt away stress and anxiety, bringing healing to your aching bones. Have you ever had a belly laugh? Seriously? There is not. There is not much that is more redemptive than belly laughing with someone in your small group. If you're laughing that way from your gut, you know what I mean? laughing so hard that you embarrass yourself laughing so hard. You didn't forget that you are original, what you're originally laughing about. Now, other people join you not because what was said was funny, but because you're laughing so hard. See, these are these things that make things fun. When you have fun together, we show others that we serve a good God. Check this out, that our mouths would be filled with laughter in our tongue with shouts of joy then they said among the nations. The Lord has done great things for them. Did you catch that with our mouths filled with laughter. others are convinced that God has done great things among us. Laughter builds community. laughing together can help build group bonds in a rich way quickly. Don't neglect times of fun and laughing. Relish those times together. Jokes can carry from week to week laughing at random things, or having fun together can help set set the stage for deep discussions, building trust among those in your group. Serve quarterly in your small groups. Don't forget about others. So these are all things that you want to think about that in the end, develop ownership. Everyone brings something another component to leading an effective group is starting sharing ministry. allowing others in the group to lead the worship time. Lead the study, bring refreshments host the group cultivating leader ownership is important if members are going to feel needed and appreciated. It also helps keep you from burning out or thinking that you can do it all yourself. Develop contributors, not customers tasks for ownership, hosting someone to coordinate the rotation of homes. prayer request someone to distribute via email, food schedule someone to make sure the food meal happens serving schedules to reach out coordinators for quarterly service project fun weeks, someone to make sure the group keeps laughing. You know, as you set up small groups, it's in a lot of ways easier than you think where it gets complicated is to think about all these relationships. But if you set in place, test groups and doors and entries gates into getting the new people involved, when you realize that when you're dealing with a lot of relationships, it's not going to be perfect, that people are going to sometimes come in and out and and then finding these coordinators, you know, sometimes it will go well and sometimes people will quit. But the most important thing about setting up small groups is the love of people getting people together and promoting this often
and recognizing these leaders. You know, one thing we didn't mention, but it's mentioned in other sessions is the recognition when you have these leaders recognize these leaders. Personally I like it that if you have a small group leader, you ordain them as a deacon, a ministry Deacon That's what I would love to do. Or they're ordained as a ministry if they quit, then that ordination ceases. So it's in a sense a term ordination. Now, what does ordination mean anyway, that you're an agent of the church. So I would do it that way where I would look at our church and give people designations if they're giving spiritual care to someone, that they're part of the leadership, the organization of the church. But again, each of you have come from a different place with a different understanding of polity of church order, and organization. And wherever you are, have that enthusiasm for starting small groups, whether they're groups like tasks, or term groups, or permanent groups or committees or set up take down and in this particular lecture, to really talk about launching life groups or care groups, whatever it is. Church planting is about setting up small groups and nurturing them. It's really about connecting relationships. So I wish you well as you continue to think about church planting that you will be really really adept, really enthusiastic about developing relationships deeper and deeper and connecting people in those relationships.