Video Transcript: Small Group Making Practices

We're talking about small groups. And you know, I want to really get very  practical here. Like, let's say you're launching life groups specifically. Now,  again, some of these practices can occur, and can be for all your small groups.  But let's just say you're going to launch some life groups, hospitality groups,  house churches, all of those things that will help your church plant grow. So let's  talk about the keys for setting up small groups. And again, we're thankful for Ben Reed in his book starting small. If you want to get people plugged in to small  groups, there are two steps you have to take, help people find group in  physically connecting them with others, and ensuring that they have a stellar  group experience spiritually, emotionally, experientially connecting them with  others. And more of this is talked about in his book and chapter five, if you want  to get that book from Ben Reed, that would be, you know, a really good idea of  starting small, the ultimate small group blueprint, but I'm just going to let you  know some of these things now. And I think you'll probably get what you need.  Relationship, setup small groups, relationships, relationships, relationships.  Before we get into the specifics of different types of small group launches, let's  get one thing out of the way. The best way to form a small group is purely  through relationships, not an event, the church puts on, not through an online  sign up, or through a church wide initiative, or like a bulletin. It's about  relationships. So get that in your mind. And that's how all church planting is. Not  just sign up a small group ministry. But all church planting is about relationships.  Know that even if you're an introvert or an extrovert, learn that people smart  relationship. Contagious movements are what you're going to be all about as a  church planter. Previous relational trust is key. When you have a prior  relationship with someone, there's a trust that you've already built, you've laid  the groundwork that typically takes months to do in a small group. So much of a  small group success or failure is contingent upon trust, trusting what is said in  the group stays in the group. So when you start a group, you want to recruit with that trust. But then when you have a group, you want that relationship trust to  stay in that group for each other. You might want to talk, for instance, about  confidentiality, things even cell groups forming without relational capital. Now,  sometimes in a church plant, that's just the way it is. You have a bunch of people come into your church, they don't really know anybody, they have no preexisting relationship capital. And you're still seeking to start small groups and to build a  relational capital. So here's how Ben Reed says to do it, make the connection  and event one on one, invitations and relationships works better for connecting  people in small groups. However, it is not the only way to make a connection.  most effective. The effective way I found to connect people in small groups,  when it's not through relationships, is through the event, call it whatever you  want. The Connect Now the Group link, the grouping up connections or  something entirely else. The fact of the matter is, is sometimes you just need to  do an event. And maybe it's like the once a year big kickoff for the group link, the

grouping up whatever that is, sometimes you need to do that. The event that  launches these new relationships, small groups, is a chance for you to launch  multiple small groups at the same time, by inviting people to a neutral location.  That is not someone's house up to four times a year. At this event, people will  meet group leaders commit to a new small group. I've hosted this event on  Sunday mornings immediately following the worship service. But this event can  be done on Sunday nights, inviting people to come back to church. There's a lot  of ways to do this. And Ben talks about doing this four times a year. It's four  gateways into the small groups. And I think that four times is really, really great  to do that once a quarter because of new people coming to church a lot of times  churches do it once a year, a small group start you miss it, you miss it. But if you have four gateways in that would really make sure that you're assimilating new  people. Maybe consider not doing a Sunday morning event. Time, other than  Sunday morning, there's a lot of options under the other any other time category, but in the end, they are similar in one way. You don't get as the nearly as much  interested people if you go to a not Sunday morning event, but those that do  come will be committed, the ones that show up to your event will sink their teeth  in and join the group, your retention rate from the event will be massively higher  than those done on the Sunday morning event, you won't have groups starting  with 20 in attendance. And by week two have an attendance of five, you'll be  starting groups with ten in attendance and retaining those 10. And you know  why that is, is because if someone is going to come to another time other than  the Sunday morning service, they're committed to want to be in a small group  ministry. Let's talk about some practical things. When you start small groups.  And this these are going to be things that you might teach in your test group for  leaders how to set up meetings. My friend John Grogan, says circles are better  than rows. They have, he may have stolen that phrase. But since I don't know  who said it, first, I'll give John the credit circles promote group growth, unity,  combined synergy toward knowing God, encouraging others correcting each  other and pushing the others toward God's best. The reality is, I don't know, any, I don't know. everything there is to know about the Bible, God hasn't revealed all the angles. And, and the very beauty of the truth in me. The fact that Ben Reed  brings this up is because he has seen as a expert in church leader in small  groups, that circles are better than rows. So keep that in mind. The role of food,  ice cold soda and dessert can help any group during the first few group  meetings, people are nervous, they don't know each other, don't know what to  expect and aren't fully comfortable. Striking up. And maintaining a conversation  with someone meals gives you a natural reason to congregate together. You're  sitting around a table together around a living room together for a specific  purpose to eat. There's just something psychologically important about eating  together. So make sure to have food, especially as you start new groups. Food  contributes to attendance. When you serve snacks, you're not the only one who 

brings them, you share the responsibility for making sure your group succeeds  giving one more person a chance to contribute to your group, which means that  if they're if you're there, you're there. And if you're and they're there. That's two  

now so you've got at least a small group of two every week that you and the one who brings the snacks. But it really does create more buzz when more leaders  are involved. Prioritize eating together, meals help reorient our thinking too. Tim  Chester in meals with Jesus says meals slow things down. Some of us don't like that we like to get things done. But meals force you to be people oriented  instead of task oriented. Sharing a meal is not the only way to build a  relationships. But it's the number one in the list. If you want your group to  succeed Plan to Eat together, it doesn't matter what your group decides stacks a meal dessert, but decide on something. How clean should your house be. So  my challenge with you is to clean your house, but don't sweat it. invite people  into your life. If you're always got a pile of mail, on the entryway table, then leave it there. Don't feel like everything has to be perfect. Though this will  communicate boatloads of hope through this, you'll communicate boatloads of  hope that people can come as they are to a small group. They can be who they  are warts and all. They can bring their victories, also their struggles, the pile of  mail tells them it's okay not to have everything completely put together all the  time. And that this is a safe place to be real. You know, I've seen that so often  where people are so perfect in their house clean, they had stressful to even  have the small group. But if they just relax, it also communicates to people that  they can have a small group someday without being so perfect. What about  prayers? The more you use theologically technical, technical, complicated  words, when you pray out loud, the more you're encouraged to shut down during prayer time. Why? Because they don't have that vocabulary. At some layout  level. praying out loud is like public speaking. Glossophobia the fear of public of  public speaking strikes 75% of people at some level, and we as a culture are  deathly afraid of speaking in public. So in prayer, be very simple. Lord, I thank  you for everybody here today. And we ask that Your Holy Spirit comes each  person has their needs we pray that you will minister to us in Jesus name,  amen. Simple prayers. And when you ask for requests, these prayers can just  mention the name and that simple request. Make small groups fun, it it's not fun  people won't come back it's possible to get more information in a more  convenient way than through many and in more convenient ways. And other  means podcasts, books, blogs, forums, offer information discussion  environments, at any time of the day, every day of the year. What separates  small groups from these environments is the relationship face to face aspect.  Make sure you maximize this. If there's no fun, it's life sucking. If your group is  intensely serious, it will drain the life out of the people. We are we are only  where to take so much seriousness. And often, every other environment in our  lives gives us plenty of seriousness. But small groups are to be fun, a fun place 

to learn and to grow. If there's no laughter people are missing out on great  medicine. A joyful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Maybe what hurting people need isn't more medicine but a healthy small group.  They need to laugh together so hard. They snort they need to laugh at  themselves. They need to laugh at a corny joke they need I'm not sure how it  works. But after a difficult day at work with kids finances with inlaws laughing  helps melt away stress and anxiety, bringing healing to your aching bones. Have you ever had a belly laugh? Seriously? There is not. There is not much that is  more redemptive than belly laughing with someone in your small group. If you're laughing that way from your gut, you know what I mean? laughing so hard that  you embarrass yourself laughing so hard. You didn't forget that you are original,  what you're originally laughing about. Now, other people join you not because  what was said was funny, but because you're laughing so hard. See, these are  these things that make things fun. When you have fun together, we show others  that we serve a good God. Check this out, that our mouths would be filled with  laughter in our tongue with shouts of joy then they said among the nations. The  Lord has done great things for them. Did you catch that with our mouths filled  with laughter. others are convinced that God has done great things among us.  Laughter builds community. laughing together can help build group bonds in a  rich way quickly. Don't neglect times of fun and laughing. Relish those times  together. Jokes can carry from week to week laughing at random things, or  having fun together can help set set the stage for deep discussions, building  trust among those in your group. Serve quarterly in your small groups. Don't  forget about others. So these are all things that you want to think about that in  the end, develop ownership. Everyone brings something another component to  leading an effective group is starting sharing ministry. allowing others in the  group to lead the worship time. Lead the study, bring refreshments host the  group cultivating leader ownership is important if members are going to feel  needed and appreciated. It also helps keep you from burning out or thinking that you can do it all yourself. Develop contributors, not customers tasks for  ownership, hosting someone to coordinate the rotation of homes. prayer request someone to distribute via email, food schedule someone to make sure the food  meal happens serving schedules to reach out coordinators for quarterly service  project fun weeks, someone to make sure the group keeps laughing. You know,  as you set up small groups, it's in a lot of ways easier than you think where it  gets complicated is to think about all these relationships. But if you set in place,  test groups and doors and entries gates into getting the new people involved,  when you realize that when you're dealing with a lot of relationships, it's not  going to be perfect, that people are going to sometimes come in and out and  and then finding these coordinators, you know, sometimes it will go well and  sometimes people will quit. But the most important thing about setting up small  groups is the love of people getting people together and promoting this often 

and recognizing these leaders. You know, one thing we didn't mention, but it's  mentioned in other sessions is the recognition when you have these leaders  recognize these leaders. Personally I like it that if you have a small group leader, you ordain them as a deacon, a ministry Deacon That's what I would love to do.  Or they're ordained as a ministry if they quit, then that ordination ceases. So it's  in a sense a term ordination. Now, what does ordination mean anyway, that  you're an agent of the church. So I would do it that way where I would look at  our church and give people designations if they're giving spiritual care to  someone, that they're part of the leadership, the organization of the church. But  again, each of you have come from a different place with a different  understanding of polity of church order, and organization. And wherever you are, have that enthusiasm for starting small groups, whether they're groups like  tasks, or term groups, or permanent groups or committees or set up take down  and in this particular lecture, to really talk about launching life groups or care  groups, whatever it is. Church planting is about setting up small groups and  nurturing them. It's really about connecting relationships. So I wish you well as  you continue to think about church planting that you will be really really adept,  really enthusiastic about developing relationships deeper and deeper and  connecting people in those relationships.