Deal Breakers

Relationship Deal Breakers

For Romance Officiants guiding clients through the complexities of compatibility, understanding potential deal breakers is crucial. These deal breakers can vary widely, reflecting personal values, lifestyles, and relationship goals. Here is a list of 30 standard deal breakers that can help in assessing compatibility early in a courtship:

1. No Spark: Significant differences in attraction. 
2. Timing: One or both individuals are not ready for a long-term relationship
3. Differing Religious Beliefs: Significant differences in faith or spiritual practices that are non-negotiable for one or both partners.
4. Varied Views on Marriage: Disagreements on the institution of marriage, its importance, or its role in a relationship.
5. Children: Conflicting desires regarding having children, including the number of children, parenting styles, or the decision not to have children at all.
6. Financial Habits: Drastically different spending habits, financial goals, or views on managing finances.
7. Addiction Issues: Challenges related to substance abuse, gambling, or other addictions that one partner is unwilling or unable to address.
8. Incompatibility in Physical Intimacy: Differences in libido, desires, or expectations around physical intimacy that cannot be reconciled.
9. Infidelity: Past instances of infidelity or a lax attitude towards fidelity and monogamy.
10. Family Dynamics: Strained relationships with in-laws or differing expectations about family involvement in the couple’s life.
11. Career Goals: Divergent career ambitions that require incompatible lifestyles, such as frequent relocations or long periods apart.
12. Communication Style: Incompatible communication styles, where partners cannot discuss feelings, issues, or needs effectively.
13. Lifestyle Preferences: Significant differences in lifestyle choices, such as activity levels, dietary habits, or social behaviors.
14. Personal Hygiene: Differences in standards of cleanliness and personal hygiene that cause discomfort or distress.
15. Political Beliefs: Strongly divergent political views that lead to conflict or are fundamentally opposed to one’s core values.
16. Attitudes Toward Debt: Conflicting approaches to debt, whether one partner has significant debt or different strategies for managing it.
17. Abuse: Any form of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse is an immediate deal breaker.
18. Lack of Ambition: A significant discrepancy in ambition or motivation levels between partners.
19. Trust Issues: A history of dishonesty or situations that have led to a breakdown in trust.
20. Commitment Level: One partner is ready for a serious commitment, while the other wishes to keep things casual.
21. Views on Education: Disagreements on the importance of formal education or the pursuit of further education.
22. Cultural Differences: Cultural or ethnic differences that are important to one partner and not respected or accepted by the other.
23. Social Life: Discrepancies in social needs, where one partner is highly social, and the other prefers solitude.
24. Health and Fitness: Conflicting attitudes towards health, wellness, and physical fitness.
25. Past Relationships: Unresolved issues or continuous involvement with ex-partners that interfere with the current relationship.
26. Views on Equality: Differing views on gender roles, household responsibilities, and leadership roles within the relationship.
27. Jealousy and Possessiveness: Excessive jealousy or possessiveness that leads to controlling behavior.
28. Privacy Boundaries: Differing needs for privacy and independence within the relationship.
29. Handling Conflict: Incompatible ways of dealing with disagreements, stress, or conflict.
30. Future Aspirations: Mismatched future aspirations that cannot be aligned or compromised on.

For a Romance Officiant, understanding these deal breakers and facilitating open discussions about them can help couples identify potential red flags early on. This proactive approach enables clients to make informed decisions about continuing their courtship based on deep compatibility and shared life goals.