Here is an outline summarizing the main points discussed in the session on managing group dynamics, particularly focusing on the leadership in small group settings:

  1. Introduction to the Session:

    • Emphasizes the critical nature of management in leading successful small groups.
    • Highlights the challenges and variability inherent in group dynamics that necessitate effective leadership.

  2. Role of a Coordinator:

    • Discusses the importance of having a coordinator to manage logistical details such as scheduling, communication, and food arrangements.
    • Suggests that anyone with organizational skills, whether a leader or a member, can fulfill this role effectively.

  3. The Necessity of a Defined Leader:

    • Stresses the need for a clear leader who can handle the direction of the group, especially in contexts where leadership is rotated or unclear.
    • Notes the challenges and stress that can arise when leadership roles are not well-defined.

  4. Establishing Rules of Engagement Early:

    • Advocates for setting clear expectations and rules before the group begins to meet.
    • Emphasizes how predefined rules help manage behavior and maintain order, making enforcement and discipline more straightforward.

  5. Creating a Safe Space for Sharing:

    • Underlines the importance of confidentiality to encourage openness and sharing within the group.
    • Suggests implementing agreements such as confidentiality forms to establish trust and security.

  6. Encouraging Open Brainstorming:

    • Encourages leaders to allow brainstorming sessions where all ideas are welcomed and valued, especially from quieter or less confident members.
    • Stresses the importance of not dismissing unconventional or novice contributions to foster an inclusive atmosphere.

  7. Handling Advice and Suggestions:

    • Discusses the importance of managing how advice is given, emphasizing that unsolicited advice can be unwelcome or harmful.
    • Recommends encouraging members to ask questions that lead to self-reflection and self-generated solutions rather than imposing solutions.

  8. Ensuring Equal Participation:

    • Highlights strategies to ensure that all group members have the opportunity to speak, such as going around the room to solicit input from everyone.
    • Introduces the 'two-minute rule' to balance contributions, helping both verbose and reticent members.

  9. Managing Conflicts and Maintaining Decorum:

    • Discusses the importance of preventing and managing conflicts, especially on sensitive topics that could lead to anger or disputes.
    • Advises on strategies to de-escalate conflicts and move discussions away from contentious issues.

  10. Adhering to a Timely Schedule:

  • Stresses the importance of sticking to a set schedule to respect members' time and commitments.
  • Shares insights on how deviation from the schedule can impact attendance and group commitment over time.
  1. Setting and Communicating the Agenda:
  • Recommends that leaders prepare and share the agenda in advance to provide structure and avoid confusion.
  • Encourages soliciting input on the agenda to ensure it meets the group's needs and interests.
  1. Role and Philosophy of the Leader:
  • Clarifies that the leader's role is not to dominate but to facilitate, allowing members to shine and take active roles in discussions.
  • Emphasizes the leader's responsibility in guiding the group towards deeper discussions and maintaining the flow of interaction.
I cannot believe that we're this far. Here we are in the last session of this mini course. In many ways, we're saving some of the best material for the last session. Especially if you are a serious minister, leader, and want to create a movement of leading in small groups. The management issue here is critical. So, you know, the Bible is really, in some ways, the easy part if you're doing this management part, because people are so different. No group is ever the same. There's always a management issue. And so we're going to go over some of the things that you can do. So, first of all, you might want a coordinator. Now, this could be the Bible Study leader as well, you know, in my case, it was often my wife who gravitated towards these kinds of things, where she left the teaching part and leading the study to me, but it might be someone in your group, it might be you, it doesn't matter. 

But the kinds of things that a coordinator keeps track of are the schedule. You know, maybe you meet every Friday, but then even half the group can't meet that Friday, somebody has to, you know, text or email, and try to figure out the logistics as to where, you know, what participants who's on the list, keeping everyone informed, maybe there's a prayer email that goes around because one of the group members is in the hospital. So there's all these kinds of issues or food. If you're going to have food at your meeting, how are we going to do that? What, how, what are we going to bring, who's going to bring what I mean? This is not my forte, so I don't even know what all the things are. Like, when we go traveling internationally or visit people on that, I feel like this goes to me sometimes. But you don't have to be good at it. Because someone in the group is. If you're not very good at it, and you're trying to make it happen, you'll make such a mess of it, that the person that really knows what they're doing will step up to the front. But I think it's needed. Okay, the Bible Study leader, you know, I think, you know, I think when I started up my ministry, I had this sort of pie in the sky notion that we will all just be here, and we'll just all lead the Bible study together. 

And, you know, I'm no better than you. And we're all comrades together, learning the Bible and taking our turn. Right. So sometimes we would take turns, okay, Bob, it's your turn to lead. And, you know, Bob wasn't a leader. And it just stressed him out. And it didn't go well, it didn't go well for Bob, it didn't go well for the people. So you need somebody that steps to the front and says, I'm going to take on this, we'll talk about what a leader does, right? But you still need a leader. I think another thing that you really have to set up ahead of time, if you're going to do a Bible study, and often I didn't do that either, right? I just did a Bible study, which means that I would do things with the assumption of how I do it. But that doesn't mean everyone else knew what my assumptions were. And it's better to preempt this than to do it in real time, to actually say, Okay, so we're going to do a Bible study, let's talk about rules and engaging, right, and people don't even think about it, then you can use these rules of engagement to help manage, but if you lay them, let's say three weeks or a month, after problems, add a ruler. I know why they did that. I tell you, your remember stories are like, the rules have come honestly, to us. These are not rules that we read the book, while we did with different books, too, but in a lot of ways, the honesty of doing this for 30 years that you want to do it before you start the group. In some ways that's true with parenting or anything. You lay out the rules at a time. Then when someone breaks the rules, it's easier to apply discipline, nothing worse. Yeah. But if you're making up the rules as you go, then it feels they made that rule for me. All right.

So number one, you need a safe place. If you want people to share anything, it has to be a safe place. A place of confidentiality that someone shares something that they don't hear what they shared, you know in the coffee shop next day by someone who was not there. That's a good way to cut down any sharing. And we will do recommend that people sign a confidentiality. You know, why not? I mean, if you really want people to, because let's face it, people are gossips. It's so easy to gossip is so easy, especially when you have something really cool. Or something interesting on the Bible to talk about gossip like a morsel. Yeah. You can just be wild, right? It's just so I think signing is a good way to say we're serious about this, right? And it would communicate to the group, I live next level of safety, right.

Number two, honor brainstorm questions. What do we mean by Well, a lot of times, ideas come up, or somebody has a really good idea, and then somebody who doesn't like canoeing so I don't want to do canoeing. It could be that they don't want to do canoeing. But if someone in our canoes that often it's that one person who never says anything, and they give a shot. And then when they get shot down, it's over an increase. So if the rules of engagement we want, and then maybe you can tell a story, I often do bow to like some, like maybe one of you wants to go skydiving. But you know, and let's say somebody here really wants to do and if you suggested, let's not all go skydiving. We want crazy ideas, because you never know. And it's not just things like that is also brainstorming is when you're brainstorming a verse, like when people are trying to say what it means, right? So you have one guy who really knows his stuff, and he knows what it means. And you've got a new person who's like, making their best guess, right. And if the person making their best guess, constantly gets shot down by the person that everyone knows the new believer, then they're not going to share anything, they're never going to take a chance. So right, you have to have this sense. You know, when are we sort of brainstorming? And when are we sort of honing in on what the thing is? So in the beginning, you know, as a leader, allow a little brainstorming allow people to say something that might not be quite right. But you know, that's an interesting point. So really, we're talking, brainstorming about the discussion that I was yet brainstorming about what the group might do, brainstorming and how to manage the group, right? Brainstorming, how to know there always seems to be some therapy going on. I know, we're gonna talk about it later. Right, right. But brainstorming on ideas and just having a curious, right. Curious group. If someone came to the group and said, I really would like, your advice on what to do in this marriage situation that I'm facing, and then someone says something that's, you know, maybe a bit off the wall, then the leader can either shut that down and go, Wow, that isn't gonna work either. Or he could just say, you know, that's an interesting thought. Any other thoughts? Right? Because generally is the right stuff bubbles to the surface, and the things that weren't right, sort of drift away. And I think be careful about the duty language. Oh, I know what you should do now. Yeah. Send her roses today. Oh, today? Don't wait. I sent it roses yesterday. What What is it gonna?

Number three, no, unsolicited, I just, I just actually talked about, you should send roses, that'd be it, you know, because things will come up. And they'll share let's say someone shares about the difficulty that are going through in their marriage. And then all the helps people will jump to the rescue. And, and people sometimes just need to share, right and not always get fixed and not always have people who are you to tell someone else what to do. Now, let's say you have someone shares something, and that's exactly what you've gone through. If you're going to share it all. It would really best to preface it with, Hey, I went through an experience if you'd like. I can share it right, like get permission to give advice rather than most people do not do well with unsolicited. So what, what is unsolicited advice? Is it taking the role of I'm your father or mother is without someone's permission, right? It's literally giving people advice without them asking or giving you permission to do it. It's unsolicited. I didn't ask for it. And now you are getting it. And the danger of I've noticed this for some people who some people receive unsolicited advice very well, or other people do not know. And it seems like if you really have hard time with your father, mother. And then a friend started taking that role. The sometimes the walls are put up, or there's a bar, a bad boss experience or a bad teacher experience. So unsolicited advice is dangerous thing to get into. And you know, from a coaching perspective, the more you can ask questions to get them to come up with their own advice, the more likely they're, they're able to follow it. That's very, very good stuff here.

Number four, everyone gets a chance to say something. So this is important. And it requires some management because if you have a group of 10, people, there's going to be three that do a lot of talking. And there's going to be three that don't do any talking. And then there's going to be the rest to sort of do a little bit of talking. And as an as a manager of the group, you especially want those people who never do any talking. A lot of times they're thinkers, and they have a lot of good stuff to say. But they're going to need a stage where the talker doesn't need a stage, he just grabs the microphone and say whatever they want to say. So, so trying to give everyone a chance to say something, and the easiest is just to go around the room. You know, Bob, what do you think? Teller? What do you think is go around the room?

Number five, you might put this rule, you know, especially if the group is larger, and you've got some real talkers that sort of dominate the two minute rule. A lot can be said in two minutes. Actually, it helps the talkers organize what they're going to say. It helps those who don't talk to know, okay, I'm expected two minutes I can handle that is a beautiful rule, right?

Number six, anger has no place in the group. So never let things get to such a degree where people are in conflict. If they are they start arguing and you can see the heat going up. It's like, no, no, no, we let this go. We have a lot of strong opinions here. And let's just move on. Because there are topics that breed anger politics is one or controversial Christian doctrines. You know, you can divide a group in a hurry by talking about baptism, if you know that one group believe or one section of the group that you're in more infant baptism than the other adult baptism. And you can be a leader who wedges quickly and creates anger and fear when people are, you know, discussing things, some people are incredibly competitive. Once it gets to that sort of competitive slot, where now it's just a game where I want to win and you want to win. And we're not even seeking truth anymore, right then. And as a leader, you have to sort of gauge that. Are we drifting into this competitive thing where we're really just using the rest of the people as our judges and our jury. And we're trying to prove to them that we're right. Often too, have you noticed the passive aggressive, like there's a, there's like a little there's been discussion that's being discussed, but then there's a passive aggressive of your right. educated and you really know your stuff, so that all of those things that come in, there are examples, I've also noticed too where the leader if they, if they're not aware of it, that can get out of control in a hurry. So anger is obvious, but there's the passive, how do you address that? How have you addressed that when you see it bubbling up early on? Well, I think the easiest is to get off the topic, right? They're playing tennis, and they're hitting the ball real hard at each other, and then you just take the ball away. And then, you know, you can do that. You know, I think we've talked enough about this particular question. And I think, let's move on to Question four. Right, right. One of the things that I've learned over the years is to get to that point, and it takes a little like experience work. So we have Bible study, and then there's certain people who are going to bring up the political angle and then if they don't, so you almost have to make that would not passive aggressive, but make it fun. Okay, George, make it a way to have fun and then everybody laughed about it, but either way, as opposed to people really start. Again, overall experience

Number seven times schedule will be kept so it's important. You know, if your Bible study is an hour and a half, keep it to An hour and a half. Now what happens is, after an hour and a half on this particular night, some really good conversation is happening. So you let it go two hours, or you let it go two and a half hours, and everyone had fun, it was awesome. And it was great. And everyone thought, that extra hour was definitely worth it. But the next week, three of them are gonna go. You might go long again. And then they stay away. So it's just knowing even if it's a good, it's been a good time for or not, it doesn't matter. Once people know and are sure of what the time is, then they'll make a commitment to come every time every time. You know, if you're planting a house church that starts out as a group, and you're hoping it can become a church, that this becomes so important. People will make a decision, even if they love every thing about your Bible, study, your house, church, your church, everything about it, except one thing is it goes too long. People will superficially. And then you can say to yourself, well, if they're that superficial, we don't want them or you can say just in that time.

All right, then agenda. And this is just you can have any agenda you want. But here's like a sample one, you might you know, people come together they meet at first is a little bit of talking, they haven't seen each other in a week. Right? You might have a formal icebreakers and some little game that you play or a question that's really interesting. You know, what's the most exciting thing you did this past week or whatever, it can be almost anything, right? And then the Bible study where you're actually looking at the word or some boat or whatever, and I don't know what you're doing now. And 30 minutes, it could be an hour, you can decide how many how much time you want to give it to anything. And then you might go with some accountability questions, how's your walk with God going how's your family walk with God going or someone said, you know, hold me accountable for losing weight, or whatever, whatever that might be. And then some prayer. Now, these are just suggestions. But having a little bit of an agenda where you know, what you're sort of aiming at, and then how much time you're going to give that and and then having people know that that's how much time we're giving to this. So do you recommend that that the leader sets the agenda in then just announces it? Or do you how do you think you can you can, you can do it by, hey, here's, here's, I think a leader shouldn't just say, so what shall we do and as a tabula rasa thing, right? Right. I think a leader should spend time thinking carefully about what he thinks would be best. He puts it out there and goes, here's what I was thinking, what do you guys think and you can, you can freely eliminate or add or whatever you want to do and change the numbers. But at least people have something to go off for rather than if you start with nothing. You go all over the place, and then you end up in conflict, and all of those right is easier for people to go off from something, right. So even there, you recommend, like getting a free or like good agreement on what the agenda is, before you launch into, like one week? Why do you feel so important to have a consistent, like I've seen over the years and made this mistake? Where all the time, I felt like the Holy Spirit in number two on the agenda so often, that goes long? And often we have less Bible study, you know, how do you Well, that's gonna happen, and I think it's just like a church service. That, you know, sometimes you have baptisms and communion and, and all of that, and they're all in one service. And now it's gonna go half an hour longer. Now, some say, Well, whenever it's important, let's just go half an hour longer. But if people don't know, we're gonna go half an hour after that time when it should end. People are not listening. They're looking at their clocks. Why? Because people of habit. I remember in my first church, confession time, so we're on telling you what I had been hours and time, and I got a really, I felt amazing group that were remaining in one. One of the nights. I just went an hour longer. And I thought it was such an important topic and all of these things. I was in my 20s, early 20s. And I noticed that next week, there was half the attendance. I was defeated because I felt like, you know, really study hard for us. You know, and then one of the men of the church said to me, you know why you did there's because you We're an hour longer. And I said, Well, what will I do? He said, What do you call everybody up and apologize. And then we started to get ruined. So my pride was hurt. So I didn't want to do it. But after a while, I just I called everybody up and apologize. In the next week, we have the attendance, I made sure that it was done on time. And no, that was a good for a young minister, that mentor was spot on and needed to learn. And I think, you know, one of the things that a leader needs to do is keep things moving, because you can get bogged down anywhere, and then you don't get to the agenda or you go longer. So having an idea yourself, and if people get into this habit, they'll help you keep the agenda if they don't know what the agenda is they when they get up. Okay, so, we need a leader, okay. But what does the leader do? A leader does not like dominate the whole thing. A leader creates a stage for the participants to shine a leader is not the star, the leader helps the members become stars, right? So if you're the answer, man, you're the teacher, you're the pastor. That's what a sermon, right? But a Bible study is more, you know, where people have a chance to say things to ask questions, and to, you know, step out of their own comfort zone, right. Rather than, you know, the leader. Yeah, you're capable, you can do all kinds of things. But you're really trying to help the members do a better job. Make sure everyone shares not just a few. That's the default setting. If you go camping with a bunch of people, friends, and so on, you're all sitting around the fire. You'll notice that in the end is four people making all the jokes saying Look, everything else and everyone else is just listening. The leader helps the conversation go deeper. So people are at this level, but you're looking for little tells it we'll talk about those in a minute. There might be something, there might be some gold in there, but just dig a little deeper. And I mentioned this keeps things moving deals with dirt differing personalities of the group, and we'll talk about that. You know, we're going to in this and have another one here because we're at the 20 minutes, And what I find fascinating about this is this leadership stuff that if you don't put it into practice early, it's almost like a group of disintegrate in a hurry. So next time we'll take the next step and take us even further.



最后修改: 2024年06月25日 星期二 10:16