Reading: Non-Directive Coaching Applied

📘 Non-Directive Ministry Coaching in Practice: The Golf Club Chaplain and the Ministry of Presence

Abstract

This academic reading explores how the theory of non-directive ministry coaching is applied in a specialized chaplaincy context: a private golf club. Through the story of a minister-chaplain known by members simply as “The Rev,” we observe the coaching posture of presence, the creation of emotionally safe spaces, and the transformational power of Spirit-led listening. This case study bridges ministry coaching theory and chaplaincy practice, offering insights for volunteer, part-time, and full-time chaplains engaged in non-traditional ministry settings.

Introduction: Ministry Coaching Beyond the Pulpit

Ministry coaching, especially in its non-directive form, is not confined to church offices or counseling rooms. It flourishes in golf carts, locker rooms, café terraces, and walking paths—wherever souls need to be seen, heard, and helped toward God's healing and truth. This is especially true for chaplains embedded in lifestyle spaces like golf clubs, where people are often not looking for "church" but are quietly open to spiritual conversation under the right conditions.

Non-directive coaching is a foundational phase of the Ministry Coaching Model taught at Christian Leaders Institute. It resists the impulse to give answers or impose solutions. Instead, it fosters a Spirit-sensitive environment where individuals name their own truth and encounter God's grace without pressure. This reading tells the story of one chaplain’s application of that model.

Case Study: The Rev at the Golf Club

The Setting

The Rev was a retired minister turned volunteer chaplain at a members-only golf club. He wasn’t officially on staff, didn’t wear a collar, and wasn’t introduced through any formal program. He simply belonged—to the place, the rhythm, and the people. His ministry emerged through casual conversations, quiet presence, and divine timing.

The club was a place of escape for most members. Business leaders, retirees, and occasional celebrities played golf, not to find God, but to forget pressure. The Rev knew this. So he didn’t try to “do ministry.” He practiced presence.

The Coaching Posture: Presence without Pressure

Non-directive coaching begins with one central discipline: presence. In non-directive coaching, the coach is not the fixer. They are the witness to sacred space. The Rev lived this truth. He once said:

“I don’t show up with answers. I just show up. And somehow, God does the rest.”

Members began to notice him—not as a preacher, but as a soul who didn’t flinch when life got real. One member, Jeff, a successful CEO with a failing marriage, sat next to The Rev at the bar after nine holes. What began as sports banter turned into a whispered confession: “I don’t know if I love her anymore. But I don’t know if I can leave either.”

The Rev didn’t counsel. He didn’t quote Scripture. He didn’t promise to fix Jeff’s marriage.

He just said:

“That sounds like a very heavy place to stand.”

Then he waited.

That silence—intentional and Spirit-filled—was the true coaching move.

The Sacred Space of Listening

Non-directive ministry coaching creates a space where truth can rise. It depends not on advice but on attuned, humble, and prayerful listening. Jeff kept talking. And as he talked, he wept. He wasn’t ready for a plan. He didn’t need a pastoral intervention. He needed a witness to his pain.

The Rev helped Jeff name what had gone unspoken: the numbness, the guilt, the longing. Not once did he steer the conversation. Instead, he asked gentle, open-ended questions:

• “When did you first start feeling this way?”
• “What do you hope for?”
• “What’s the scariest part of imagining a change?”

Each question made space. Each silence was honored. This is the work of a non-directive coach—especially in chaplaincy, where formal counseling may not be requested or appropriate.

Chaplaincy Meets Coaching: A Model for Non-Traditional Ministry

Golf clubs don’t advertise for chaplains. But every lifestyle space has souls in crisis. Ministry coaching, especially in the non-directive phase, fits seamlessly into these environments:

• Unobtrusive posture: Chaplains enter without demanding spiritual authority.
• Relational capital: Trust is earned, not assumed.
• Confidential presence: Coaching happens through quiet, Spirit-led encounters.
• Incarnational living: The coach embodies Christ’s listening love, not religious performance.

Key Ministry Coaching Concepts Illustrated

Ten Examples of Non-Directive Ministry Coaching

 1. Marriage Crisis in a Church Volunteer

A woman serving on the worship team tells her ministry coach, “I don’t feel in love with my husband anymore.”
Instead of offering advice or quoting Scripture immediately, the coach responds:

“Would you be open to exploring when you first noticed that feeling?”

🟢 Non-directive principle: The coach allows the woman to name her truth and trace her emotional story, without rushing to fix her marriage.

2. Young Adult Wrestling with Calling

A college student shares with his mentor, “I’m not sure I believe God is calling me to ministry anymore.”
The coach listens deeply and responds:

“That sounds important. What has shifted for you lately?”

🟢 Non-directive principle: The coach resists correcting or redirecting the student and instead gives space for spiritual exploration.

3. Business Leader Facing Burnout

A business owner tells the chaplain at a country club, “I make more money than ever, but I feel empty inside.”
The coach quietly responds:

“Can you describe what the emptiness feels like for you?”

🟢 Non-directive principle: Instead of prescribing meaning or offering platitudes, the coach invites the leader into reflection, allowing the Holy Spirit to work through honest expression.

4. Grieving Parent in a Support Group

A father in a grief group says, “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive God for letting my son die.”
The coach gently responds:

“That sounds like a heavy burden. Would it be okay if I just sit with you in that for a while?”

🟢 Non-directive principle: The coach doesn’t defend theology or push forgiveness but honors the pain and allows space for God’s presence to comfort.

5. Inmate Contemplating Faith

During a prison visit, an inmate says, “I want to believe, but I’ve done too much wrong.”
The coach responds:

“Tell me what believing would mean to you—if it were possible.”

🟢 Non-directive principle: Rather than correcting or debating, the coach invites imagination and grace through open-ended reflection.

6. The Rev Did Not Arrive with a Plan

“The Rev didn’t begin with a plan. He began.”

🟢 Insight: Non-directive ministry coaching means showing up without an agenda. The Rev didn’t steer conversations toward spiritual outcomes. He waited for the person’s own truth to surface naturally—illustrating coaching through presence rather than programs.

7. Small Talk that Drifted into Heart Talk

“This first phase of coaching is slow, quiet, and deceptively powerful. It looks like long silences, small talk that drifts into heart talk…”

🟢 Insight: By engaging in everyday conversation without pressuring a spiritual direction, The Rev created a low-pressure environment that opened space for vulnerability. This allowed people like Jeff to move from surface to soul at their own pace.

8. The Rev Came with His Spirit Surrendered

“He came with his eyes open, his ears tuned, and his spirit surrendered.”

🟢 Insight: Rather than bring predetermined teaching or fixed prayers, The Rev adopted a posture of surrendered attentiveness. His Spirit-led discernment helped him tune into emotional and spiritual cues others might miss.

9. Naming the Unspoken

“Transformation doesn’t begin when someone tells you what to do. It begins when someone finally hears what you’ve never dared say.”

🟢 Insight: By letting Jeff express his confusion and fear about his marriage out loud—perhaps for the first time—The Rev facilitated breakthrough without directing it. He coached by listening into what had never been spoken before.

10. Goal: Presence without Pressure

“The Rev understood this intuitively… Trust—not teaching. Waiting—not fixing.”

🟢 Insight: The very foundation of The Rev’s approach to ministry at the golf club was non-directive. He built trust without teaching, space without pressure, and presence without fixing—which allowed true soul work to begin.

Conclusion: The Power of Non-Directive Coaching in Chaplaincy

This case illustrates how non-directive coaching offers a credible, Spirit-filled ministry practice for chaplains in unconventional settings. Whether on the green, in a factory, or on a hospital floor, this approach creates sacred space where people feel safe enough to say what they’ve never said and hear what God might be whispering.

In the end, Jeff asked to pray. Not because The Rev offered, but because his soul was finally ready. The Rev nodded and said, “Let’s ask God to be near.” That prayer became the first step in Jeff’s journey back to love—and to God.

Reflection & Application

1. Describe a setting in your own life where presence without pressure might open a door for ministry.
2. Reflect on the difference between listening to respond and listening to reveal.
3. Practice holding silence this week with someone who shares something vulnerable. See what rises