Reading: Semi-Directive Coaching Applied

📘 From Listening to Guiding: The Semi-Directive Coaching Turn in Chaplaincy Practice

Abstract

This academic reflection explores the semi-directive phase of ministry coaching as practiced by a golf club chaplain affectionately known as The Rev. Having established trust through non-directive presence, the chaplain demonstrates how to transition gently into semi-directive coaching—offering structure, biblical insight, and transformational challenge without taking over the client’s agency. The case study illustrates a practical model of discernment-in-dialogue that is essential for chaplains and coaches in lifestyle-based ministry environments.

Introduction: When Listening Turns to Leading Lightly

In the Ministry Coaching Model, semi-directive coaching represents the second phase in a Spirit-led journey of transformation. It builds upon the foundational work of non-directive coaching, where the focus is on creating a safe and sacred space for the client to feel heard, emotionally uncovered, and spiritually safe. In that first phase, the coach refrains from steering the conversation or offering spiritual solutions; instead, they embody the posture of Christlike presence—listening deeply, honoring silence, and allowing truth to surface naturally.

But a time often comes—through discernment, not design—when the individual being coached begins to desire movement. The person may feel stuck, overwhelmed by options, or weary from carrying unnamed burdens. They may not yet know the way forward, but they are no longer content with staying in place. This is the moment when semi-directive coaching becomes essential: it offers gentle structure, spiritual insight, and a purposeful nudge, without robbing the individual of their agency, voice, or spiritual dignity.

The semi-directive phase is neither clinical diagnosis nor spiritual prescription. It is relationally grounded and spiritually responsive. The coach becomes a humble guide—one who begins to ask shaping questions, offer reflective prompts from Scripture or experience, and explore possible next steps. Yet the essential posture remains the same: the Holy Spirit leads; the client decides.

The case of The Rev, a retired minister serving as a volunteer chaplain at a private golf club, illustrates this shift with clarity and grace. Known not by title but by presence, The Rev spent weeks—and in some cases, months—building relational trust with club members. He didn’t initiate spiritual conversations; he earned the credibility to receive them. Over time, as stories of pain, regret, longing, and hope emerged, some members moved beyond simply being heard—they wanted direction. In these moments, The Rev did not change roles, but he adjusted his posture. He began to frame questions more intentionally, offer gentle scriptural reflections, and invite ownership of spiritual growth.

This was not a leap from listening to teaching. It was a graceful turn—from presence to guidance, from silent witnessing to soul-discerning dialogue. The Rev never imposed action steps or moral judgments. Instead, he co-labored with those who approached him, always trusting the Holy Spirit to be the true counselor and change agent. Through this, we see a living example of how semi-directive ministry coaching empowers people to discover God’s invitation for themselves, in the timing and language their souls can receive.

This introduction sets the stage for a deeper exploration of how ministry coaches and chaplains can discern when it is time to lead lightly—to honor the movement of God in someone’s heart not by taking the wheel, but by walking a few steps ahead, holding the lantern.

The Turning Point: Jeff’s Openness to More

After weeks of casual interactions—brief chats at the bar, quiet acknowledgment on the putting green, and a few emotionally honest moments that arose unexpectedly in small talk—Jeff, the successful CEO struggling with a failing marriage, returned to The Rev. But this time, something had changed.

It wasn’t a barstool conversation or a moment of passive venting. It happened during a walk along the quiet path near the 10th hole, far from the noise of the clubhouse and distractions of competition. The Rev had learned to pay attention to these in-between spaces—the transitional moments where people often let down their guard.

Jeff’s voice was low, but his words were different this time:

“I don’t want to keep living like this. I just don’t know how to change.”

In that single confession, a door opened.

Jeff had crossed a line between emotional honesty and spiritual desire. He was no longer just naming his pain; he was longing for direction. He wasn’t asking for The Rev to fix his marriage, but he was expressing a readiness for something deeper—a turning point that required a coach’s discernment and a chaplain’s pastoral sensitivity.

This moment represents the threshold of semi-directive coaching. It is where presence alone is no longer sufficient, but pressure would be a mistake. What is needed is guidance that honors the sacred agency of the soul. The Rev recognized this shift—not by instinct alone, but through prayerful attentiveness to Jeff’s posture, tone, and heart. He did not rush to offer solutions or quote Scripture. Instead, he matched Jeff’s vulnerability with quiet courage and relational gravity—anchoring Jeff not with answers, but with the calm of a spiritual companion willing to walk with him toward the unknown.

This transition illustrates one of the most crucial competencies in ministry coaching: the ability to discern readiness for direction without rushing into prescriptive ministry. Jeff didn’t need a lecture, a plan, or a counseling session. He needed someone who could hold space and then gently help him face forward.

The Rev responded, not with a solution, but with an invitation:

“You’ve been really honest about what’s hurting. Would you want to explore what healing might look like—just one step?”

This question marked the beginning of a new phase. It was intentional, yet non-controlling. It was semi-directive: giving shape without giving orders, offering support without stripping Jeff of agency.

Moments like this define the sacred hinge between listening and guiding in ministry coaching. The Rev didn’t stop being a listener; he simply listened more strategically. He became a mirror that helped Jeff see himself more clearly and a lamp that offered enough light to take the next step.

In chaplaincy and coaching alike, these turning points are not manufactured—they are discerned. They emerge from trust, time, and the gentle work of the Holy Spirit. The semi-directive coach must be ready—not with answers, but with questions, courage, and grace.

Semi-Directive Coaching in Practice

1. Clarifying the Focus

After Jeff expressed his heartfelt admission—“I don’t want to keep living like this. I just don’t know how to change”—The Rev recognized that the coaching dynamic was shifting. Jeff was no longer simply naming pain; he was inching toward a desire for change. But that desire was still vague, fragile, and emotionally charged. This is the space where semi-directive coaching begins—not with advice, but with focused discernment.

Rather than respond with solutions or suggestions, The Rev gently offered this reflective prompt:

“You’ve been really honest about what’s hurting. Would you want to explore what healing might look like—just one step?”

This question embodies the art of clarifying the focus. It does not define the client’s goal, nor does it suggest a predetermined path. Instead, it creates a bridge between emotional vulnerability and forward movement. It affirms the client’s truth-telling, honors their agency, and opens a new conversational doorway—one that gently shifts the energy from reflection to vision.

🟢 Ministry Coaching Application

In ministry coaching, especially within chaplaincy contexts, focus clarification is essential. People often approach spiritual conversations with layers of emotion, disorganized thoughts, or conflicting desires. The role of the semi-directive coach is not to bring closure but to bring clarity—to help the person begin sorting what matters most right now.

By asking, “Would you want to explore what healing might look like—just one step?”, The Rev accomplishes several things:

• Affirms the progress already made through vulnerable truth-telling
• Frames a future-oriented conversation without demanding a commitment
• Breaks the paralysis of inaction by focusing on a single, manageable step
• Respects spiritual pacing, acknowledging that transformation unfolds incrementally

In ministry contexts, especially those involving relational pain, trauma, or moral failure, people are often overwhelmed by the scale of their need. Clarifying the focus helps break down the perceived mountain into a path. Importantly, it also resists the temptation to take control of the person’s journey.

As Paul writes in Philippians 3:13-14:

“...but one thing I do: forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before, I press on toward the goal…” (WEB)

Semi-directive coaching honors this forward movement—not by demanding it, but by helping the person name it, see it, and begin to imagine the next faithful step.

2. Introducing Biblical Reflection

As Jeff continued to share the internal conflict surrounding his marriage, a natural window opened for spiritual reflection. He wasn’t ready for theological unpacking or moral correction, but his heart was searching. He was asking big questions: What does love look like when the feeling is gone? Is there a way back to wholeness?

Sensing this shift, The Rev gently introduced a scriptural anchor—not as a sermon, but as a spiritual mirror:

“There’s a passage in Ephesians that talks about loving your wife as Christ loves the church. I’m not quoting it as pressure—just wondering if it stirs anything in you?”

This invitation was soft, but deliberate. It did not weaponize Scripture. It respected the moment. And it modeled what semi-directive ministry coaching does so well—it allows biblical truth to enter the conversation through relational trust and reflective openness, not authoritative declaration.

🟢 Ministry Coaching Application

In ministry coaching, the timing, tone, and intention behind introducing Scripture are just as important as the content itself. When a coach prematurely cites Scripture in a directive or corrective way, it can feel coercive—especially for clients in pain, doubt, or sin. However, in the semi-directive phase, Scripture is offered as an invitation to self-reflection, not a demand for obedience.

The Rev’s approach shows how to:

• Weave biblical language into coaching without dominating the conversation
• Test the client’s readiness by observing their response to Scripture, not pushing past it
• Use Scripture reflectively, not prescriptively—so the client may internalize it in their own time and voice
• Frame the Bible as a source of grace, not guilt

His phrasing—"not quoting it as pressure... just wondering if it stirs anything in you"—models pastoral sensitivity and theological restraint. This creates space for the client to encounter the Word personally, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide conviction, comfort, or insight.

This moment also highlights the coaching dynamic between spiritual truth and personal agency. Jeff is not forced to accept or even engage the Scripture. Instead, he is asked to listen inwardly: Does this stir something? This mirrors the role of Jesus with His disciples, who often posed questions that surfaced heart-level responses (see Luke 24:32—“Were not our hearts burning within us…?”).

In ministry coaching, Scripture is not the endpoint—it is part of the sacred dialogue between God, the client, and the coach. The coach’s role is to open a window—not to force someone through it.

As Isaiah 55:11 reminds us:

“So shall my word be that goes out of my mouth: it shall not return to me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please...” (WEB)

In semi-directive coaching, we trust that God’s Word will do its work—not through pressure, but through gentle exposure, reflective engagement, and Spirit-led transformation.

3. Inviting Ownership Through Options

Following the honest admission of pain and the introduction of biblical reflection, Jeff found himself in unfamiliar territory: he was spiritually stirred, emotionally tender, and intellectually overwhelmed by the thought of change. He didn’t yet know what direction to take—only that he didn’t want to stay stuck. Recognizing this tension, The Rev gently guided the conversation toward discerned decision-making, without collapsing it into action steps.

Drawing from earlier fragments of conversation, The Rev posed a thoughtful question:

“You’ve mentioned counseling, prayer, and space. Of those, is there one you feel drawn to try first?”

This was not a leading question disguised as a list of solutions. Rather, it was an act of guided soul facilitation. Jeff had already named those options in previous moments. Now The Rev was helping him gather the threads—without prescribing which to choose.

🟢 Ministry Coaching Application

This interaction models a key component of semi-directive ministry coaching: surfacing options, not assigning them. The coach’s goal is not to deliver expert recommendations but to hold up a mirror to the client’s own emerging awareness. In this way, the coach functions as a spiritual companion—one who helps the person see the road beneath their feet and the forks ahead, but who never chooses the path for them.

By offering back the options Jeff had already voiced, The Rev affirms:

• The client’s own agency: Jeff is not a passive recipient of ministry; he is a decision-maker in his discipleship.
• The coaching partnership: The Rev is not directing but discerning alongside.
• God’s presence in the process: The question opens the door for the Holy Spirit to draw Jeff toward a next step, not force one upon him.

In real ministry contexts, clients often mention possible next steps in fragmented or hypothetical language—“I don’t know, maybe I should pray more… maybe counseling…”. The semi-directive coach listens attentively and later helps the client revisit these breadcrumbs with greater intentionality. This fosters momentum through dignity, not through pressure.

🔍 Theological Reflection

The invitation to choose from among one’s own Spirit-surfaced options echoes the biblical pattern of empowered response. In Deuteronomy 30:19, God says:

“I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Therefore choose life…” (WEB)

Though the direction is clear, the invitation is rooted in volitional dignity—God honors human freedom in redemptive movement.

Similarly, Jesus often asked questions that placed ownership back into the hands of the hearer:

“What do you want me to do for you?” (Mark 10:51)
“Do you want to be healed?” (John 5:6)

These are not rhetorical traps; they are soul-awakening invitations. The Rev mirrors this approach. His question dignifies Jeff’s spiritual agency and activates his internal motivation, which is vital for lasting change.

📘 Coaching Principle in Action

Semi-directive coaches help clients:

• Name their own ideas aloud
• Revisit previously voiced thoughts with intention
• Consider multiple Spirit-led pathways
• Choose a next step that feels achievable and authentic

By gently asking “Which of these draws you?”, The Rev invites Jeff to take a first act of spiritual responsibility, moving from reflection to action—not because he was told to, but because he was ready.

4. Offering Encouragement and Gentle Challenge

As Jeff stood at the threshold of movement, wrestling with the idea of change, a familiar voice crept in—the voice of discouragement and self-doubt. He said quietly, “What if it’s too late? What if I’m just not the kind of man who can fix this?”

This moment is sacred and common. It is the place where many people retreat, not because they lack faith in God, but because they lack belief in their own capacity to respond. In such moments, the coach’s posture becomes pivotal—not to push, but to reflect back evidence of hope that the client has forgotten.

The Rev responded with discernment and compassion:

“I hear the weight in your voice, and it’s valid. But I also see strength in the fact that you keep showing up. What would it mean to act from that strength this week?”

This single statement held two transformative moves: affirmation and invitation. It was not a motivational speech, nor a spiritual platitude. It was a grace-filled challenge grounded in what The Rev had observed in Jeff over time.

🟢 Ministry Coaching Application

In semi-directive coaching, the art of offering gentle challenge lies in the coach’s ability to:

• Name resilience or growth already visible in the client’s journey
• Affirm the struggle without minimizing it
• Connect current presence to future possibility
• Frame challenge as invitation, not expectation

The Rev’s phrase—"you keep showing up"—became a mirror of grace. It reminded Jeff of his own faithfulness and desire, even amidst fear and confusion. By asking “What would it mean to act from that strength this week?”, The Rev anchored hope in agency, not just emotion.

This approach contrasts sharply with directive coaching, which might assign tasks or issue spiritual goals. The semi-directive model respects that sustainable change emerges from within, when hope and truth collide in a relationally safe space.

This coaching move aligns with Galatians 6:9:

“Let us not be weary in doing good, for we will reap in due season, if we don’t give up.” (WEB)

Jeff didn’t need a reminder that he had failed. He needed someone to believe that he had not yet given up. And The Rev, by gently naming his perseverance, helped him access a strength rooted in grace—not performance.

🔍 Theological Reflection

Jesus frequently affirmed glimpses of faith and then called people into deeper action:

• “Your faith has made you well. Go in peace…” (Luke 8:48)
• “You are not far from the kingdom of God…” (Mark 12:34)
• “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11)

These affirmations always preceded an invitation—not as a command, but as a release. Likewise, The Rev’s question helped Jeff visualize one small act that could reflect the strength already stirring in him.

📘 Coaching Principle in Action

Gentle challenge in the semi-directive phase:

• Does not shame or moralize
• Flows from observed grace and present commitment
• Invites action that feels aligned with the client’s own spiritual awareness
• Protects the dignity of the process by allowing space to say yes or not yet

For ministry coaches and chaplains, this kind of challenge is often the bridge between insight and initiation. When encouragement is rooted in relationship and challenge is offered with tenderness, the client often finds the courage to step forward—not to prove something, but to participate in the redemptive work God is already doing.

5. Co-Creating a Small First Step

After a sacred conversation marked by listening, reflection, scriptural invitation, and gentle challenge, Jeff didn’t leave with a five-point action plan. He left with a flicker of courage.

Near the end of the exchange, he paused, looked out toward the horizon beyond the 10th hole, and said softly:

“Maybe I’ll take her to that spot we used to go—just talk, not fix anything.”

It wasn’t framed as a decision. It was fragile, tentative—almost a question to himself.

And yet, it was holy ground.

The Rev didn’t rush to affirm it with strategy. He didn’t ask for follow-up. He didn’t even use the word “assignment.” He simply responded with sacred acknowledgment:

“That sounds like a sacred next step. I’ll pray for that moment.”

With this single sentence, The Rev joined Jeff in co-creating a first step—not by scripting it, but by honoring what emerged from within. This is the very heart of semi-directive ministry coaching: helping others discern and act on what the Holy Spirit is already awakening, in a way that feels doable, authentic, and grace-filled.

🟢 Ministry Coaching Application

Co-creating movement is one of the most powerful functions of a coach in the semi-directive phase. It is where listening turns to partnering. But crucially, this partnership does not dominate or override the client’s will. Instead, it affirms what the client has begun to see for themselves and helps them put language around their next step.

In The Rev’s case, the response “That sounds like a sacred next step” did four key things:

• Affirmed the spiritual significance of Jeff’s idea
• Validated his emotional readiness without amplifying pressure
• Reinforced that movement can be relational, not mechanical
• Offered spiritual companionship through the promise of prayer

The Rev didn’t try to reframe Jeff’s idea into a more strategic or spiritually impressive action. He simply blessed it. And in doing so, he communicated a core truth of redemptive coaching: small steps taken in faith often carry more transformative power than dramatic gestures taken in fear or guilt.

This moment reflects the wisdom of Zechariah 4:10:

“For who has despised the day of small things?” (WEB)

In a culture obsessed with big results and measurable outcomes, the ministry coach gently redirects attention to the spiritual weight of one faithful act—a conversation, a walk, a prayer, a reconnection.

🔍 Theological Reflection

Jesus often met people in moments of fragile intention and blessed the small beginnings:

• “Today salvation has come to this house…” (Luke 19:9) — after Zacchaeus’ offer to repay
• “Go, show yourselves to the priests…” (Luke 17:14) — a simple but faith-testing step
• “Give them something to eat…” (Mark 6:37) — leading to a miraculous act from one small offering

These were not rigid discipleship programs. They were responses to human readiness—Spirit-stirred action steps discerned in relationship.

Likewise, in ministry coaching, the first step is not something imposed. It is co-created through presence, trust, and spiritual attentiveness. The coach’s role is to bless the moment, not micromanage the process.

📘 Coaching Principle in Action

To co-create a first step well, the ministry coach must:

• Listen for what is already rising in the client’s heart
• Confirm its sacred value through affirming language
• Avoid over-defining or institutionalizing the movement
• Offer prayer or support without assuming ownership of the outcome

For chaplains and coaches, this step often happens in transitional spaces—a hallway, a walking path, a car ride. The action may be simple, but the relational and spiritual implications are profound.

By saying, “I’ll pray for that moment,” The Rev reinforced that Jeff’s idea wasn’t just his own. It had been witnessed, blessed, and entrusted to God—an act of faith that signaled the beginning of restoration.

Theological Reflection: The Shepherding Model of Christ

Semi-directive coaching mirrors Christ’s own relational pattern. Jesus often asked probing questions (“Do you want to be well?”) and issued invitations (“Come, follow me”) while honoring each person’s agency. The Rev’s approach models this gentle shepherding—moving at the speed of trust, and only leading when the other is ready to walk.

Summary: The Fruit of Discernment-Guided Coaching

This case study illustrates that semi-directive coaching is:

• Rooted in relationship
• Responsive to readiness
• Anchored in Scripture (but not used as a weapon)
• Oriented toward movement, not control
• Led by the Holy Spirit through discernment

By trusting God’s timing and the client’s voice, The Rev helped Jeff take the first steps toward wholeness—not through fixing, but through faithful companionship.

Reflection & Application for Coaches

1. When have you sensed a client was ready for more direction? How did you respond?
2. What are some gentle ways to introduce Scripture into a coaching conversation?
3. How can you guide without controlling—especially with vulnerable clients?