Video Transcript: The Ministry Coaching Model (Triangle: Truth, Grace, Action)

The Ministry Coaching Model (Triangle: Truth, Grace, Action)

🎓 Welcome Back to Ministry Coaching Foundations
Today we’re talking about the Ministry Coaching Model—that triangle of truth, grace, and action.

🎯 Objectives

• Understand the biblical triangle of transformation

• Explore the three coaching pillars: truth, grace, and action

• Learn to balance all three in Spirit-led conversations

⛵ A Sailboat Metaphor for Transformation
This triangle can be compared to sailing. If you want to sail straight into the wind, you can’t—you have to tack back and forth at an angle. You make progress, but not in a straight line. That’s what growth and transformation often look like.

• If someone becomes too focused on discipline, they may crash into rigidity

• If someone leans too far into grace, they may fall into chaos

• The key is balance, continually tacking between these poles as the Spirit leads

📐 Why a Model?

• A model helps us understand how something works

• It’s not the real thing, but it gives structure to what we’re doing

• Without a model, ministry coaching can become:

  • Too soft (grace without truth)

  • Too harsh (truth without grace)

  • Too chaotic (no structure, no action)

  • Too client-centered without spiritual direction

🌊 The Keel of the Coaching Model
Just like a sailboat needs a keel to avoid drifting aimlessly or being blown backward, ministry coaching needs a solid foundation—biblical truth and purpose.

• Without the keel, there’s no forward motion, even when the wind is strong

• The keel in ministry coaching is the presence of God's truth and Spirit

• This isn’t just secular coaching with a prayer—it’s deeply rooted in biblical direction

🔺 The Biblical Triangle: Truth, Grace, and Action

This triangle is not just a coaching technique—it’s a spiritual framework. Think of it this way:

• Truth is the foundation—Scripture, honesty, and reality

• Grace is the atmosphere—acceptance, love, and forgiveness

• Action is the application—obedience, movement, and transformation

Without all three, transformation stalls.

⚖️ Balancing the Triangle

• All truth and no grace? People feel judged and condemned.

• All grace and no truth? People stay stuck in broken patterns.

• Truth and grace but no action? Nothing changes.

You need to move. Jesus said, “Go and sin no more.” He gave grace and a charge to act.

🗺️ Coaching Within the Triangle

As a ministry coach, you might find:

• Someone who’s never been told the truth—so you gently guide them there

• Someone who knows the truth but feels so ashamed they’re stuck—so you lavish grace

• Someone who has both truth and grace but keeps spinning in circles—so you help them take the next step

Think of coaching as tacking:

• From truth → to grace → to action → back to truth

• You help people adjust their sails through Spirit-led dialogue

🧭 The Role of the Spirit in the Model

The Holy Spirit is the wind. You don’t control the wind—you respond to it.

• Be prayerful

• Be discerning

• Be patient

It’s not about forcing someone to change—it’s about helping them align with where God is already at work.

🌊 Sailing Between Extremes

Let’s revisit that sailboat metaphor.

When someone is struggling, they often veer too far in one direction:

• Toward rigid truth with no grace: they become harsh, legalistic, judgmental

• Toward cheap grace with no truth: they make excuses, avoid conviction, stay in dysfunction

• Or toward endless action with no grounding: always busy, always striving, but not transforming

⛵ Tacking as a Spiritual Skill

As a coach, you help them tack:

• When they’re too focused on rules → you guide them toward grace

• When they’re drowning in grace and excuses → you gently bring truth

• When they understand but are frozen in place → you encourage action

You’re not the wind.
You’re not the keel.
But you help them respond to both.

🔧 The Keel: What Holds It Together

What’s the keel in ministry coaching?

It’s the Word of God.
It’s the truth of the gospel.
It’s the presence of the Holy Spirit.

This is what keeps the process from being tossed around by every whim or mood

⚖️ Truth Without Grace
Truth without grace is… harsh. It's brittle. It's judgmental.

📢 “You should be doing this.”
📢 “The Bible says…”
📢 “You’re wrong.”

And… all of that might be true.
But truth without grace shuts people down.
It leads to shame, fear, or rebellion.

🤯 They may think:

“I’ll never measure up.”
“This person doesn’t really see me.”
“I better hide my real struggles.”

That’s what happens when truth is wielded like a weapon instead of shared with love.

🌊 Grace Without Truth
Now flip it: grace without truth. That’s soft, sentimental… even enabling.

💬 “It’s okay.”
💬 “God loves you no matter what.”
💬 “You do you.”

While those things sound compassionate, they can actually lead someone into spiritual stagnation—or worse, spiritual deception.

🎭 They may think:

“My sin must not matter.”
“I guess I don’t need to change.”
“God’s cool with everything.”

But that’s not grace—it’s license. And that’s not loving.
It’s just avoidance with a smile.

🔺 Enter the Triangle: Truth + Grace + Action
This is why the biblical model is a triangle.
You need all three legs for balance and transformation.

1. Truth — anchors us to reality and God’s Word.

2. Grace — creates safety and connection.

3. Action — moves people forward toward obedience and growth.

Without any one of these, ministry coaching becomes ineffective, unbalanced, or even harmful.
Together? 🔥 It’s transformational.

🛶 Tacking Between Truth and Grace
Remember the sailboat? ⛵ The key to making progress against the wind is tacking—moving between angles.

Ministry coaching does this too. You tack between:

• 💬 Truth — “Here’s what Scripture says.”

• ❤️ Grace — “God still loves you deeply.”

• 🚶‍♂️ Action — “What step could you take this week?”

This back-and-forth motion, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, is what helps people move forward—even when life feels like a headwind.

🧭 Why Models Help Us Stay Balanced
Without a model, it’s easy to default into one zone:

• The “fixer” mode (truth-only)

• The “comforter” mode (grace-only)

• Or the “cheerleader” mode (action-only)

But a spirit-led coach doesn’t live in one corner of the triangle.

Instead, they gently guide the conversation to keep all three elements in play.
📌 That’s where real transformation happens.

🛑 Unbalanced Coaching Looks Like…

• Too much truth → harsh legalism

• Too much grace → enabling or passivity

• Too much action → burnout or pressure

But when you balance truth, grace, and action, the coaching becomes redemptive.

The Transformation Triangle
Let’s lay out the biblical triangle of transformation:

1. Truth 🕊️
   What is God saying? What’s real? What does Scripture reveal?

2. Grace 💖
   How does God feel about you—even in your struggle? What does mercy look like here?

3. Action 👣
   What step can you take? What’s your response to God’s truth and grace?

🧱 Why All Three Are Essential
Each point of the triangle builds on the others.

• Truth without grace leads to shame.

• Grace without truth leads to license.

• Truth and grace without action… leads to stagnation.

A ministry coach does not push—but they do nudge, gently and prayerfully.

⚖️ Balance is Dynamic, Not Static
This isn’t a formula.
It’s more like a dance—sometimes someone needs more grace first before they can hear the truth.
Sometimes they’re ready for action but need to revisit a core belief.

The Holy Spirit is the guide, not a checklist.

🎯 Truth: The First Anchor Point
Let’s start with Truth—not just facts, but God’s truth revealed in Scripture and made alive through the Holy Spirit.

🗣️ Ask:

• “What do you believe God says about this?”

• “Is there a verse that comes to mind?”

• “What truth might God be surfacing here?”

This isn’t about quoting random Bible verses. It’s about helping them see reality as God sees it—the truth that sets people free (John 8:32).

⚠️ Be careful not to weaponize truth.
Truth is not a club. It’s a light. Shine it gently.

🕯️ Sometimes people are living in lies—about God, themselves, or others.
Our role is to gracefully mirror that distortion and help them see clearly.

💖 Grace: The Second Anchor Point
Grace means we hold space for people with kindness, patience, and compassion, just like Christ does for us.

🗣️ Ask:

• “How has God shown you grace in this situation?”

• “What would it look like to receive that grace?”

• “Is it possible God still delights in you, even now?”

Grace reminds people:

“You are not your failure.”
“You are not disqualified.”
“You are deeply loved.”

🙌 Grace doesn’t ignore truth—it creates the safety needed to face it.
Without grace, truth becomes harsh. With grace, it becomes healing.

Grace also gives time. Some healing takes seasons. Some obedience takes growth. God is patient, and we reflect that patience as coaches.

⚙️ Action: The Third Anchor Point
Action is where transformation takes root. Truth shows the way, grace creates the space—but action moves us forward.

🗣️ Ask:

• “What’s one small step you could take this week?”

• “What would obedience look like in this area?”

• “Is there something God is prompting you to do?”

✍️ Action should be:

• Spirit-led (not forced)

• Doable (not overwhelming)

• Accountable (with gentle follow-up)

Action isn’t about proving something—it’s about responding to what God is showing.
And sometimes, the action is stillness, waiting on the Lord.

🛑 Be careful not to rush. Jumping to action too quickly can bypass truth and grace.
But also—don’t stall. Faith without works is dead (James 2:17).

⚖️ Balancing Truth, Grace, and Action

To be a faithful ministry coach, you must hold all three in tension—not just your favorite one.

Some of us lean heavy on truth—we want to correct and teach.
Others major in grace—we listen well, but we may avoid challenge.
Still others press for action—but we may neglect the heart behind the behavior.

🎯 A Spirit-led coach will:

• Speak truth in love

• Extend grace generously

• Encourage action patiently

Think of the triangle: remove one side, and the structure collapses.

🧭 Let the Spirit lead.
Every coaching conversation is different. Sometimes, someone needs to sit in grace a long time before they’re ready for action.
Sometimes, someone needs a hard truth before they can receive grace.

Your role isn’t to force the balance—it’s to discern what God is doing and cooperate with it.

📖 The Biblical Foundation: Grace and Truth
John 1:17 says, “For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.”
Jesus came full of both grace and truth.

Today, there’s pressure—especially on Christians—to only express love and grace. When we speak truth, people may say, “Well, that’s not loving.” But biblical Christianity has always held both: grace and truth. That’s the model we need. That’s the tacking.

🎯 Grace and Truth in Parenting
Even in parenting, we see this. Sometimes we give our kids the truth—correction, discipline. Other times we let them off:
“I think you’ve suffered enough. I won’t punish you this time.”
That’s tacking. We move between truth and grace because we love them.

Should we be surprised that God relates to us the same way?

⚖️ Truth would condemn us completely—we’d have no way out.
💖 Grace gives us the chance to try again. It gives room to learn and grow.

🔺 Corner One: Truth
What is real and revealed?
This includes:

• Biblical truth

• Self-awareness

• Conscience

• Honest reflection

• A thinking mind

👉 Ministry coaches help clients face reality with clarity.
📖 “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” —John 8:32

A ministry coach doesn’t just aim to make people feel good.
Someone says, “I’m depressed.”
The goal is not just, “Let’s make you feel better.”
Instead, we ask:

• What’s going on?

• Where’s this misery coming from?

• Is it your fault? Someone else’s fault? No one’s fault?

We need to explore the truth to help someone move forward.

🧰 Tools like Genograms (taught at Christian Leaders Institute) help clients understand their story.
You draw out:

• Parents

• Birth order

• Childhood happiness

• Moves, trauma, patterns

It’s not about blame. It’s about gaining clarity.

🧭 Seeing the truth of your situation is the first step toward change.

🔺 Corner Two: Grace
What is the tone of God’s heart?

• Compassion

• Forgiveness

• Affirmation

• Safety

• Spiritual warmth

📖 “Neither do I condemn you.” —Jesus to the woman caught in adultery

That story displays both truth and grace.
Jesus defended her (grace), then instructed her (truth).

Often, people can’t handle truth until they know they’re safe.
Am I loved despite what’s true about me?
Will you judge me—or stay with me?

Grace creates that safety. 💖

🔺 Corner Three: Action
What is the Spirit-led next step?

Key themes here include:

• Obedience

• Repentance

• Restoration

• Transformation

📖 “Be doers of the word, and not only hearers.” —James 1:22

We receive grace → face the truth → then what?
Action.
For example:

“Your father never encouraged you. You have low self-esteem. Now you don’t encourage your children.”

We’ve acknowledged the truth. We’ve offered grace.
Now: What do you want to do about it?

🔄 Don’t Wallow in the Why
In counseling, people sometimes stay stuck in the “why”:

• Why am I this way?

• Was it my dad? My grandfather? A teacher?

There’s always more to explore. But we’re not called to endlessly investigate brokenness. At some point we ask:
👉 What now?

🎯 A Real Example
A married couple—both had trauma:

• Husband had an angry father

• Wife was sexually abused by a relative
  They were also seeing a counselor, but the coach brought another layer.

🛠️ Through ministry coaching, they started to name helpful patterns:

“When we both get a good night’s sleep, we fight less.”

No, it doesn’t fix everything.
But it’s one actionable insight that helps navigate their triggers.

Coaching keeps revisiting truth and grace—but moves toward something.

💡 Practical Coaching Example: Applying Truth, Grace, and Action

So now you're alive. You’ve been born by that family. Okay, you’ve been given life.

🎯 Now, what are we going to do? What is one step?

It’s like, well, maybe we just need to prioritize better sleep. That’s action. It's a very simple plan.

🛠️ You may not be able to fix everything else, but what could you do that helps?

That’s where the ministry coach can really help people—help them identify something small that is doable, that’s Spirit-led, that aligns with truth and grace.

And they begin to feel the winds shift. Not everything is solved—but they’re moving.

🧠 Coaching Is Not Counseling

Let’s be clear. Coaching is not counseling.

Counseling often dwells in the past—why did this happen? What trauma is unresolved? What patterns formed in childhood?

🗝️ Coaching acknowledges those things but focuses on:

• Where are you now?

• What is God saying to you?

• What might be your next faithful step?

You’re not there to diagnose or to treat. You’re helping people move forward with clarity, with the Spirit’s guidance, and with simple, grace-filled action.

👂 You’ll listen deeply—but not to analyze. You’re listening to discern and draw out.

📖 Proverbs 20:5 — “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep waters; but a man of understanding will draw it out.”

That’s your job. You draw it out—not dig it up. You're not a heart surgeon. You’re more like a well-digger.

🎯 The Triangle in Real Ministry

So let’s go back. The triangle is truth, grace, and action.

🎬 Example:
You’ve got a couple. They’ve got trauma. They’re doing counseling. But you, as the ministry coach, notice:
“When you both get good sleep, you do better.”

💡 That’s truth.
💖 Then you remind them:
“You’re both beloved of God. You’re not broken beyond hope.”

That’s grace.

🚶‍♂️ Then you ask:
“So, how can we help you both get better sleep?”

That’s action.

This triangle helps people move forward, even if the deeper healing is ongoing or unresolved. You’re not solving everything—but you’re moving in the right direction.

💬 A Coaching Question: Where Do You Feel God’s Invitation?

You might say to someone:

“Okay, I hear your story. You’ve shared a lot of pain, a lot of frustration.
Where do you feel like God might be inviting you to take a step?”

You’re not telling them what to do. You’re inviting them to listen for the Spirit.

That one question has helped many people start walking again—spiritually, emotionally, relationally.

⛵ Why Coaching Uses Tacking

People rarely move in a straight line.

🌀 Some weeks, they’re full of energy and faith.
Other weeks, they’re exhausted and confused.
One moment, they need a truth. The next, they need a hug. The next, a gentle nudge.

Ministry coaching honors that rhythm.
You're not pushing them. You're catching the wind of the Spirit with them.

📌 Don’t Underestimate the Simplicity

Some coaches think:

“I’m not qualified. I don’t have all the answers.”

You don’t need them.

What you do need:

• A heart for people

• A steady presence

• A biblical foundation

• A willingness to ask gentle, Spirit-led questions

📖 Like:
“What is God saying to you?”
“What might grace look like here?”
“What would be a faithful next step?”

Those questions are more powerful than advice.

🧭 Your Role: Keep the Triangle Steady

Think of it like this:

• If they’re stuck in shame → offer grace

• If they’re drifting in comfort → bring truth

• If they’re circling in insight → move to action

That’s ministry coaching.

You’re not the healer. God is.
You’re just helping adjust the sails so they can catch the wind again.

📖 The Power of Scripture in Coaching

You’re not just drawing from your own wisdom.
You’re anchoring people in God’s Word.

Sometimes a single verse unlocks everything:

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” —John 8:32
“Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” —John 8:11
“Be doers of the word, and not only hearers.” —James 1:22

🗣️ As a coach, you don’t need to preach—just point.
Let Scripture do the heavy lifting.
Invite the Holy Spirit to speak through the Word.

🛑 Don’t Overdo Any One Corner

Some people are truth-heavy: “This is what’s right. This is what the Bible says.”

Others are grace-heavy: “Let’s just love them. Let’s not rock the boat.”

Still others are action-heavy: “We need a plan. Let’s fix this now.”

⚖️ But too much of any one corner?

• Too much truth: people shut down or feel shamed

• Too much grace: people stay stuck

• Too much action: people burn out or bypass the heart

🛠️ Balance is everything. And it’s not static—it’s dynamic.
You’re always adjusting based on what the Spirit is doing.

🎯 Start With What’s Needed Most

When you meet with someone, ask yourself:

“Where is the Spirit leading in this conversation?”

• If someone is overwhelmed → start with grace

• If someone is wandering → bring in truth

• If someone is reflecting a lot but not moving → suggest action

You’re not stuck in a formula.
You’re partnering with the Spirit in real time.

💬 Coaching Example: A Parent in Pain

A mom says:

“I feel like I’ve failed my kids. I’ve yelled too much. I haven’t modeled Christ well.”

You might start with grace:

“You’re not alone. Many godly parents feel this way. God is gracious with you.”

Then truth:

“God says, ‘His mercies are new every morning.’ Today is a new day.”

Then action:

“What’s one small way you could show love to your kids this week?”

🎁 That’s the triangle. Simple. Spirit-led. Life-changing.

⛵ Final Picture: You’re Not the Wind—You’re the Sailboat Guide

You don’t generate the transformation.
You help people adjust their sails to catch the wind of the Holy Spirit.

📖 The keel is Scripture.
🌬️ The wind is the Spirit.
🧭 The compass is the triangle—truth, grace, and action.

You help them tack—back and forth—not in a straight line, but still moving forward.

That’s ministry coaching.

Stay Anchored, Stay Spirit-Led

Ministry coaching isn’t about fixing people.
It’s about walking with them as they navigate real-life challenges with God.

📌 Keep pointing them to:

• Truth — God’s Word and reality

• Grace — God’s heart and compassion

• Action — God’s calling and movement

🎯 And always stay anchored in:

• The Holy Spirit who leads each conversation

• The keel that holds you steady (God’s presence and truth)

• The triangle that brings sustainable transformation

You’re not doing this alone.
You’re not manufacturing change.
You’re creating space for God to work.

🙌 And that’s the heart of ministry coaching.

💡 Give Grace, But Move Toward Action

Give them grace—remind them they were graced just to even be here.
But in the end, there must be an action plan.

Examples of action steps:

• Stay away from things like alcohol—it complicates things

• Get connected to others

• Read the Bible for a few minutes

• Pray

• Go to bed early

• Spend time with other Christians

🎯 With an action plan, many triggers or struggles begin to fade.

You may still feel exhausted or burned out at times, but now there's a plan to face it.
This isn’t denying truth—it’s affirming that your life isn’t over because of what happened to you.

🔺 The Power of the Triangle

Let’s revisit the triangle again:

• Truth clarifies

• Grace comforts

• Action commits

💥 Imbalance leads to distortion:

• Truth without grace = harshness, judgment, self-loathing

• Grace without truth = apathy, avoidance, “I’m forgiven, so who cares?”

• Action without either = confusion, double-mindedness

This triangle is powerful—and you’ll go deeper into it throughout this course.

📖 Biblical Example: Elijah’s Breakdown and Recovery

Look at the story of Elijah:

• Big victory on Mount Carmel 🔥

• Then fear, depression, and isolation

• He runs, stops eating, and feels like he’s the only one left

• But God meets him—not in fire, but in a whisper

• An angel brings grace—feeding and caring for him

• God brings truth—“You’re not alone. There are 7,000 others.”

• God gives him an action plan—“Go anoint these people. Go back.”

🙌 That’s the model in Scripture: grace, truth, and action—again and again.

🧰 Practical Coaching Application

Here are some powerful questions you can ask in coaching:

• Truth: What do you think is really going on here?

• Grace: How can you receive or extend grace in this situation?

• Action: What step is the Spirit prompting?

🌊 Ask where they are in the “tack” of transformation.
Are they stuck in grace? Overloaded by truth? Frozen without action?

You don’t give them your answers.
You help them discover God’s answers through reflection and Spirit-led conversation.

✝️ Coaching the Whole Soul

Coaching like Jesus means:

• Speaking with clarity

• Loving unconditionally

• Calling people to follow

This triangle keeps your coaching grounded and godly.

📖 Case Study: The Visitor Who Stayed Stuck

Early in ministry, a young woman would drop in once a month—lost, broken, never progressing.
Over two years, there was no visible change. Many grace-filled conversations, much hospitality… but no movement.

Eventually, a coaching shift happened:

• A truth question was asked: “Do you think we’re making progress?”

• She didn’t want to change—just to talk and feel validated

🚦A boundary had to be set:
“I want to help, but I can’t keep doing this if you don’t want to move forward.”

This allowed the pastor to focus time on people who truly wanted transformation—
and to raise up more coaches to serve others well.

🤝 Coaching Is Not Friendship Replacement

One last note: coaching is not a substitute for friendship.
You are not there to be a person’s only friend.

Coaching helps them learn how to find friends.
You are not their permanent emotional support system.

🎯 That’s not the goal.

🎓 Closing Reflections on the Coaching Model

This triangle—truth, grace, and action—is not just a concept. It’s a ministry framework rooted in the life and teaching of Jesus.

📖 John 1:17 reminds us:

“For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.”

Jesus modeled both:

• He spoke hard truths without apology

• He loved sinners with deep compassion

• He called for transformation and obedience

We live in an age where people want grace without truth… or action without accountability.
But real ministry coaching requires holding all three together in Spirit-led balance.

⛵ Tacking as a Way of Life

Whether with our children, spouses, church members, or ourselves—we're all learning to tack.

Sometimes we need to let someone off the hook.
Other times we need to hold up the mirror of truth.
Then we invite forward movement through obedience.

📌 The ministry coach helps others find that rhythm:
From truth → to grace → to action → and back again.

This is how people grow. This is how they heal.
This is how transformation takes root and bears fruit.

🧭 Your Role as a Ministry Coach

You are not the Savior.
You are not the wind, or the keel.

But you are in the boat—present, prayerful, and discerning.

You:

• Ask questions that reveal truth

• Create space for grace

• Encourage action that leads to growth

This model is not just a technique.
It’s a Spirit-filled calling to walk alongside others on their journey toward Christlikeness.

🔥 Final Encouragement

You’re learning to coach like Jesus:

• To speak truth with love

• To extend grace without enabling

• To call for obedience without pressure

This is the calling of a ministry coach.

🙏 May you carry this model into every conversation, every session, every soul you serve.

And remember:

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” —John 8:32

“Neither do I condemn you. Go, and sin no more.” —John 8:11

“Be doers of the word, and not hearers only.” —James 1:22