🎓 Welcome Back to Ministry Coaching Foundations

In our last session, we explored a case study about a coaching relationship that had become stagnant. The insight was clear:

❝ I was allowing her to not only waste my time, but waste her time. ❞

There was no transformation—only mutual neutrality.
That powerful realization brings us to today’s focus.

🎯 Session Focus: Structuring a Coaching Conversation

In this session, we’ll cover:

  • How to learn a simple structure for a coaching session

  • Understanding the flow from greeting to conclusion

  • How to practice Spirit-led presence at each stage

Let’s begin by asking:

🧱 Why Does Structure Matter?

💬 “Why is structure important in coaching?”

Structure matters because most human communication—while joyful—is also rambling.
Think about it:

  • A campfire conversation jumps from topic to topic

  • A casual hangout lacks direction

  • If a coaching session starts without structure, it can drift aimlessly

📌 A session without structure can become:

  • Random

  • Unfocused

  • Unproductive

You may end the session asking, “What did we even accomplish?”

🥛 Structure Is Like a Glass

Imagine structure as a glass, and the coaching conversation as water.

💧 Without a glass? The water spills.
🥛 With a glass? The water is contained, useful, and drinkable.

✨ “We all want the water of life… but we need the glass of structure.”

Structure provides:

  • 📌 Clarity and flow

  • 💡 Safety and focus

  • 🍎 Fruitfulness and transformation

  • 💬 Confidence for the coach

  • 🤝 Support for the client

🛤️ Stage One: Hello

👋 “My name is Henry. I’m glad you’ve come. Tell me your story.”

The coaching session begins here—with a genuine, welcoming hello.

This isn’t small talk. It’s spirit-led hospitality.

A warm greeting communicates:

  • You are seen

  • You are welcome

  • You are safe here

A relaxed, open posture sets the tone:

“This is going to be okay. I’m someone you can trust.”

Stage Two: Build Rapport

After the “hello,” the next step is to build rapport. This is where trust begins to form.

🤝 Rapport means:

  • Making the other person feel seen, valued, and respected

  • Creating a safe space for honest conversation

  • Helping them settle in emotionally, not just physically

This is not a time to jump straight into problem-solving.
Instead, it’s a relational check-in:

💬 “How are you really doing?”
💬 “What’s been on your mind lately?”
💬 “Is there anything you’d like to bring into this session today?”

These kinds of questions invite openness without pressure.

📌 Coaching is not interrogation.
It’s connection.

🧭 Be Spirit-Led, Not Script-Led

Even with a structure, every coaching session should be led by the Holy Spirit—not a checklist.

So while the session flows from:

  1. Hello

  2. Rapport

  3. Core issue

  4. Truth, grace, action

  5. Wrap-up

…you’re always listening for where the Spirit is leading.

Sometimes the person isn’t ready for the truth right away—they need grace first.
Other times, the action step may become clear early on, and the rest of the session can reinforce it.

🎯 Let the structure guide you,
but let the Spirit lead you.

🌱 Summary So Far

  • 🪪 Stage One: Hello – Welcome them with warmth

  • 🤝 Stage Two: Build Rapport – Establish trust and connection

🎯 Stage Three: Identify the Core Issue

Once rapport is established, the session proceeds to clarify what truly needs attention.

You’re not trying to fix everything at once—you’re helping the person focus.

🗣️ Ask:

  • “What would you like to focus on today?”

  • “What’s been weighing on your heart lately?”

  • “Is there a decision or situation where you’re seeking clarity?”

🔍 This is about discerning the one key area for the session—not a deep dive into everything they’re facing.

Sometimes people will list off ten things. That’s okay.

Your role is to say gently:

💬 “Those are all important. Which one would you most like to lean into today?”

This helps the person gain clarity, which is already a step toward transformation.

🕊️ Be Patient with the Process

Sometimes, the real issue lies beneath what’s first shared.

You might need to ask a few gentle questions to peel back the layers:

  • “Tell me more about that.”

  • “Why do you think that’s impacting you so much?”

  • “How long have you felt that way?”

🎯 Your job is not to diagnose—it’s to discern together.

📌 At This Stage:

  • Listen more than you speak

  • Let silence do some of the work

  • Follow the nudges of the Holy Spirit

The goal is to bring the person to a clear, Spirit-revealed focus for the rest of the session.

🧭 Stage Four: Engage with Truth, Grace, and Action

Now that the core issue is identified, you begin to move through the triangle of:

  • Truth — What does God say about this?

  • Grace — How is God meeting you with love and patience?

  • Action — What is the Spirit prompting you to do next?

🎯 You don’t rush through this.

You listen.

You reflect.

You ask good questions that invite the person to:

  • Consider Scripture

  • Reflect on their experience

  • Receive God’s grace

  • Envision a faithful next step

💬 “What do you sense the Lord is saying to you?”
💬 “Is there a verse or truth from Scripture that speaks into this?”
💬 “How do you see God’s grace at work here?”
💬 “What might obedience look like in this situation?”

🚫 Avoid These Pitfalls:

  • Jumping to solutions too quickly

  • Ignoring pain or bypassing grace

  • Pushing for change before the person is ready

This part of the session is the heart of coaching. You’re tacking between truth, grace, and action—with the Holy Spirit as the wind and Scripture as the keel.

🏁 Stage Five: Clarify a Next Step

Once you’ve engaged with truth, grace, and action, it’s time to clarify one specific next step the person will take.

This is not about pressure or checking off a box.

It’s about:

  • Listening for what the Holy Spirit is prompting

  • Confirming it with the person

  • Naming it clearly

🎯 Examples of next steps:

  • “I will have a conversation with my spouse about what we discussed.”

  • “I’m going to take a walk every day this week and reflect on the Scripture we read.”

  • “I’ll reach out to my pastor or small group leader for support.”

Ask:

💬 “What do you sense is the next faithful step for you?”
💬 “What would it look like to act on what you’ve heard today?”
💬 “Would you like to be prayed for as you step into that?”

🔄 Make it Doable
Not too big. Not too vague. Something real, specific, and Spirit-led.

🏁 Stage Six: Pray for the Person

This may seem obvious, but it’s not a throwaway step.

Prayer is:

  • 🙏 An act of dependence on God

  • 💨 A moment to invite the Spirit to seal what’s been shared

  • 💖 A way to speak grace and truth over the person

📌 Tips for this stage:

  • Keep it simple and sincere

  • Use the person’s name

  • Echo some of the truths or next steps they shared

  • Invite the Spirit to continue the work

🗣 Example:

“Lord, thank You for [Name] and for how You’re moving in her/his life.
Thank You for the truth that came up today, for the grace You continue to show,
and for the next step You’re leading her/him into.
Strengthen, guide, and remind her/him that You go with her/him.
In Jesus’ name, amen.”

🎁 Stage Seven: Wrap Up and Confirm Next Steps

The session isn’t over until you land the plane. This final moment helps solidify transformation and foster accountability.

✅ What you do in this stage:

  • 📝 Summarize key insights

  • 🎯 Confirm the specific next action step

  • 📆 Clarify any follow-up meeting or accountability

  • 😊 Affirm the person’s courage and engagement

🗣 Example:

“So just to recap, today we talked about some of the fears holding you back from applying for that ministry training.
You sensed God calling you to take that next step, and you decided that your action step is to fill out the application by Friday.
I’ll check in with you early next week. I’m proud of how open and honest you were today—keep walking with Jesus.”

This last step reinforces momentum. Don’t underestimate its power.


இறுதியாக மாற்றியது: வியாழன், 24 ஜூலை 2025, 9:31 AM