Video Transcript: The Call to Ministry Coaching

Henry - Hello, I'm Henry Reyenga and with me is Steve Elzinga. Steve Elzinga, you already finished two other classes, a coaching, on coaching, and the need has been expressed that volunteers who want to really get into it, maybe part time start a soul center, would like to get into coaching and really get going, but maybe not get into all the advanced processes. 

Steve - Yeah. So get just the basics. Yeah. So in this class, we want to give you just the basics so you can get going. And if you want more, you can always get more. 

Henry - So this class is going to give you the foundations of ministry coaching. So let's get going correct. So what if your greatest ministry impact isn't what you preach, but how you listen? Isn't how many follow you, but how well you walk with one ministry coaching changes lives, one sacred conversation at a time. How do you think about that? 

Steve - Well, so I think it's, you know, we tend to think it's the preaching, it's the teaching, it's the counseling that does everything. And this sounds like I have to do more listening, that there might be another way to actually impact people for for the gospel and help people. So I'm curious as to what that is. 

Henry - Let's dive right in now. Of course, Jesus the master coach, yes. And you see, if you've ever seen a coach in action it's Jesus, yes, like Jesus on the road to Emmaus in Luke 24:15-27 or just is his ability to ask questions, 

Steve - right, to walk alongside, I mean, that whole road to Emmaus thing here was the greatest event that happened in the history of the world. Jesus, death, his resurrection, and he's walking next to these people, and he doesn't just jump out and go, let me share the guys, let me show you the gospel here. I know you're sad, right? Let me but instead, he walks with them. Yeah, powerful. He listens to where they're at, and then at just the right time, He reveals Himself. 

Henry - What is ministry coaching. 

Steve - okay, well, spirit, yep, conversations that draw others toward growth, rooted in Scripture, prayer and presence, not fixing, but listening, asking, encouraging, ministry, not performance coaching. 

Henry - So ministry coaching is not pastoral care in the purest sense of that word, no. Ministry coaching is not preaching sermons or being the answer man to people a lot of times. You know, we came up in a denomination that basically they called the minister the domine, in which, in Latin means the Lord, yes. 

Steve - And we spent, you know, four years in college, four years in seminary. We have all this knowledge that we can help you with. So we became the knowledge dispensers. And coaching says, well, people actually know some things. They just don't know what things they should focus on. They don't know out of the 1000 options in front of they don't know what to do. So what they need is someone to come alongside of them and help them sort of figure out some sense out of what they already have going. A lot of people have a lot of things going already. They just can't make heads or tails 

Henry - in a lot of ways. This is very respectful of person. Yeah, it's not telling them what to do. It's helping them discover what the Lord has for 

Steve - them, and it also is usually they're more likely to follow through if they figure out what they want to do, rather than you tell them what they should do. That's like a lot of parents. You know, try to get your kids to do something is really hard. If you can get a kid to understand what he really wants as a good thing, then the your child is self motivated, but you're helping them get there. 

Henry - Yes, well, in some ways, this is a amazing thing for our age right now. I think people want to own their own directions, but what happens if the Lord is part of this process since? 

Steve - So what makes it different? You have life coaching, the secular Yeah, you know, it's a big, big deal, big enterprise, yep, life coaching versus ministry life coach, ministry coach, yeah, so life coaching focuses on goals and performance. What would you like to achieve? Tools. How do you want to be motivated? Do you have any kind of a strategy? Let me help you figure out your strategy, and the outcome, of course, is that you succeed at whatever. This is, 

Henry - ministry, coaching. The focus is transformation and surrender. It's relationship connected tools. You have prayer, scripture and discernment is where the coach really starts helping out comes a Christ, likeness walk, yes, 

Steve - so. So in some ways, life coaching in the secular world is all about you, figuring out you can be who you want to be. Right? In the Christian world, we go we, in a way, we take the pressure off. You don't have to become some better you, right? Our goal is to be whatever God has in mind for us. So in some ways, the pressure is off, wow. I just have to figure out what God wants. That's all, and that's as a coach, as a spiritual coach, that's what I'm here to help you do. 

Henry - Who is called to coaching ministry? 

Steve - Anyone gifted in care and discipleship? In some ways, it's like a role. You know, there's a pastor, there's a teacher, there's a ministry, life coach, person. That's like a role, but in some in another way, it's a role that we could all take. We could all do this, 

Henry - gifted in care, in listening and discipleship, mature believers, mentors, small group leaders, yes, those already, those others, those others already turned to for help, 

Steve - people that we right. We have people in our churches right, elders, your deacons. We turn to those people for help, right, those a deacon an elder, would be greatly enhanced in their ability to help people if they learn some of these coaching things, 

Henry - right? And there is no big title of where we're in 

Steve - here, no or even a life coach. Let's say you were an elder in a church and you want to do your elder thing better, right? Learning some of this well, even though, even if you never call yourself a coach, right, if you learn 

Henry - these things, Oh, you're right. Seriously, we have been in churches and pastoring, and we've seen elders who were more like this, very effective. Yeah. We also see elders and deacons very unlike this, who knew all the answers, had their opinions. Is very destructive. 

Steve - Yes, and you know, I know I was more that way. I mean, I was raised in the I am the one who knows, and you're the one who doesn't. Your life is a mess, so let me straighten it out, right? Let me straighten out your marriage. Let me and I have all kinds of advice, and then I always thought, as I gave them that the advice, I thought, That sounds pretty good. Yeah, Steve, you're you're pretty good at this, but people didn't follow through. They did. 

Steve - They did, oh, they never owned it. If 

Henry - you have a heart for people, you may have a call for coaching. Yes, coaching makes a difference. 

Steve - One conversation can bring clarity, courage and healing. So you could be a coach with one conversation, right? It doesn't have to be this official, right? Official, you know, I am now coaching, you know, no, it could be any relationship that you have with anybody. It doesn't have to be someone in the church, right? Someone's struggling with his teenage son, and he comes, he's complaining, you know, my kid, yeah, I said listen, and then your ability to listen and draw him out right might be the thing that finally helps him do something to make a difference with his own kid. 

Henry - Coaches walk beside, not ahead or behind. How do you understand that? 

Steve - Well, we're I, you know, whenever I'm walking ahead, it's like I've been here. Just follow me. Okay, okay. But again, people don't trust that, no or behind you. You know, I'm just here encouraging you. I whatever direction you go, I just encourage you. And that's not a bad thing. But that coach does a little bit more. He comes along and sighs and go, Okay, I'm not just going to encourage you and what you're doing. I'm going to help you look at what you might do or you might not do. Wow. So, so part of it is, I'm here to help you to make some decisions about what you want, not just encourage you in whatever it is you want right now.  

Henry - So really, it is that sacred place for God to move like Jesus walking next to the person in the road to Emmaus. 

Steve - Yeah. He didn't force them to be something they were, even with His disciples. He didn't make them into different people. He used the gifts and talents that they had, and he called them to use the gifts that. That that they were given, 

Henry - and even going through Jesus, Who do people say I am? Who to use? 

Steve - Question, yeah, just you guys just told them, This is who I am, right? But no, I want to know if you're catching on or not, 

Henry - and how many discovery moments like people he, you know, he did not tell them this at this time. Yeah, yes, right. So let's just focus on a couple of real stories. So Maria, a retired nurse, began coaching young moms through her church. So how could something like that look 

Steve - again? This the in some ways, coaching is difficult just because we don't understand it, but it, in the end, is so simple that anyone, once they get it, can make a huge 

Henry - difference. Now I know of a student and I we've changed all the names different, yeah, and a retired nurse who went through the major coaching program, and she talks about stuff, and basically all she is doing with the young moms is asking questions, guiding it along. Sometimes a new Christian comes into the group and they want a little more semi directive or directive, but, but here's just a volunteer, a retired nurse in a church, who is then she is appointed as the woman's minister. And here she has the tools for coaching, 

Steve - right? And she might ask them, so how's it going? Yeah? Well, yeah, we just had a newborn six months. Yeah. Well, how's that going? Right now? I just can't, I can't get her to get to sleep, and that, you know, right evening, all night, I don't know whether to let her scream or not let her scream. Well, what are you what do you think right in what's her heart telling me right now, right? And, you know, this is where I'm a little confused. Well, right? You know, I feel guilty when? So now you you help, help them, put all their feelings, all their thoughts, and then what is it you think you really want to do? I think I want to. Oh, okay, if you talk to other moms about this particular issue, you know, I haven't. I felt isolated. I feel like I'm only one. Do you think you're the only one? You know, maybe I'm not the only one, right? Well, let me put you in touch with Sarah, right? And then you two talk, and then, because that, she had the same problem, you know, so all of a sudden, you've helped her take control of her, and 

Henry - it feels good. It can take responsibility. Jared never thought of himself as a coach, but now mentor has been weekly using these tools. And again, this is taken from actually real coaches that Christian leaders Institute has trained and have been using these tools. And we talked to Jared, and I talked to him on the phone, and it's just so fascinating how impactful in Men's Ministry 

Steve - this can be because they Yeah, again, especially men, don't want to be told what to know, but they don't know what to do right simultaneously. So someone comes 

Steve - alongside and helps me understand a problem that I'm going through, and then sort of leads me to a place where he goes, Well, what do you think? Right? And now, I guess I think this okay. Why do you try that? And we'll talk about it next week. We'll see if it worked. Well, both 

Henry - Maria and Jared both said this, that when they did the coaching program, it first helped them right, because all of a sudden they started approaching their own problems right in a certain way, and they saw the power of that ownership in the in the curiosity. Coaching style. Coaching is a calling. It's not a side hobby. It's Kingdom work. It's not about being the expert. It's about being Abigail. It's not about having the answers. It's about asking the right questions, 

Steve - getting other people to think people feel stymied in their problems, right? I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to talk to. I just unlocked into nomads land. So anyone coming along and saying, Well, tell me about your no man's land, just that alone helps the guy do something. He's been debating in his own little mind for a month and getting nowhere. Doesn't go doesn't dare go forward, doesn't dare go back. But you just coming along and say, Tell me what's going on that alone. He he starts describing, and then while he's describing, he might go it, you know, it sounds to me like you want to do something about right, right? You know, I guess I do. Well, what is it you think you want to do? I think I want to do this. Well, okay, what do you think about trying that? And you might be wrong, right? But. Go, Hey, why don't we talk about it next week and we'll see if it worked or did? It might not work, right? But then we'll talk about it next week, and next week he'll go, boy, that didn't work well. But what did you learn from it? Well, I learned this. Okay, what would you like to try next? Finally, after a month of not doing anything, he's like, willing to go for 

Henry - it. Well, one thing is true we have commented throughout 40 years of working together in ministry, is that sometimes it takes an uncomfortable month of indecision where you don't, as even a minister, own the project, because if you do, then you have now disqualified them to actually take ownership, right? 

Steve - Yeah, if I own it, then they won't. I want to. I want, I want them to feel a little uncomfortable to the point where they either pick up the ball or decide this ball isn't worth even bothering. 

Henry - But I have always seen that in you, Steve, so you are invited, as you are beginning this class now, to learn how to listen deeply and lead gently. Discover tools that help others grow spiritually, become a ministry coach with biblical integrity and spirit led wisdom. 

Steve - So in some ways, as you're coaching someone, you're trying to help them figure out problems and answers to their own problems, but both of you are sort of waiting on the Lord to you know, let's not just jump to solutions. I might even jump to a solution. Where do we think God is leading us? In fact, you might just have a little prayer. Let's just ask God right now to give us thoughts that that we can interact with. We don't know what to do. Lord, here we are. We have no idea. We don't know. Even know where to start. Please put something on our minds. And now, you know this is the thought I just had. You think that might be from the Lord, I don't know, right? Well, let's talk about right? 

Henry - So as we begin this class, your next steps start now. So welcome to the Ministry of coaching and foundations, you know. And there's something about foundations to know. This will even be a foundation to go into the more advanced classes, so that you really kind of even as you start and walk around in that knowledge you are ready. Going to be one step ahead. You'll be equipped, though, to lead, care and coach. So you actually, after you're done with this class, you will be trained to coach, yes, but it really takes to ready your heart. We're going to open the Word of God, we're gonna go. And that last quote is so powerful, something that I've heard you say something like this. You may not change the world with their preaching, but you might change the world with your presence. Now, what do you mean by that? 

Steve - Yeah, it's not so much the words that you give people. It's, you know, even preaching, the goal of preaching is not to download a bunch of stuff on you. It's to get you to connect with God. It's to get you to listen to the Spirit of God. My words are just a catalyst for what God might do in you, not me doing in your I'm just a catalyst. I'm just there to, you know, jump start something. But it's not so it's even the preaching. The preaching, is it? It's the Holy Spirit. Yeah, it makes the difference, yeah, the Holy Spirit just used some of the words that you say, but that is dependent on the Holy Spirit doing that. 

Henry - So here we go. We're going to dive deep now into coaching, ministry coaching and how you can be equipped and mobilized to do just that