Video Transcript: Coaching in the Footsteps of Jesus

Henry - So today we're going to talk about coaching in the footsteps of Jesus. So really, Jesus is the master coach? Yeah, yeah. So we're going to talk about, understand how Jesus modeled coaching, identify key coaching qualities, apply the Jesus style coaching and coach with humility and love. So let's dive right in. Okay, why look to Jesus? Well, he wasn't just a preacher, he was a soul Walker. Come, think about it, follow me. He asked, listened, invited transformation. You know, let's, let's talk about that. Invited transformation. Piece, invited transformation. Do people invite transformation? 

Steve - Well, we Yeah, our thought is that we just preach to them, right? And then something good happens. 

Henry - Like, it's almost like we're like, shooting a shotgun, hopefully, 

Steve - well, and I think a lot of knowledge, you know, I think, though most people would understand, ultimately, I would probably forget it, that our goal is not to just inform you about the gospel and the Bible and all this stuff in the Bible and who Isaiah was and all that. The ultimate goal is transformation. We want to help transform you into becoming all that God has in mind for you. Because God has got a kingdom he's building. He wants you part of it. He wants you to use your gifts and abilities in it, and so, but you're not there yet, so let's get going. 

Henry - You know, you know, I think this is a good time to just focus on something that's very relevant. So in the world of philosophy right now, there's the Christian philosophy, there's the modern philosophy, and then it's a post modern philosophy, and most times, Christians don't like anything about the postmodern philosophy because it says things like, there is no God a designer. There is no design. Everybody constructs everything. But there is one thing about postmodern philosophy in their methodology that is actually fascinating and is parallel to Christianity, and that is the inviting for transformation. Now it does not invite people to get any input from God, right? Yeah, it's all within you. Yes, you construct your own reality. But the but knowing that people desire change, transformation. 

Steve - They just, they think it might come from deep within them, although they've been frustrated with ever finding it. Yes, but they want 

Henry - it. They want it. People want this. Yeah, and that's we know. And I know that, like in our various Chaplain operations, you know, whether it's having a golf club or our ministry things when you're a minister, and you know that somebody wants transformation because you do, yeah, and you can see why post modern philosophy can dupe so many people because they want it, because people want 

Steve - and so if someone comes along, a salesman comes along and says, I can get it for you. All you need to do is these three things and easy steps, and off we go, right? 

Henry - So let's look at the Jesus coaching posture. Okay? And you really do get the narrative. It's presence over power. I mean, Jesus doesn't come in except where he he throws over the money changers, yeah, yeah, which we think is pretty incredible, yeah. But overall, he comes in as this servant, the suffering servant. Yeah, he 

Steve - met people where they were, yep. It was approachable to all. Didn't matter they were high, low, yep, well educated, the woman at the well, John 4, blind people, yep, people, woman caught in adultery, yep, so sinners, but religious people too. Yeah, it's mentioned that he threw over the tables. He was not a respecter of people. He met anybody, anywhere, Zacchaeus, the tax collector, yep, and he, and he didn't have, like, one form fits all, he sort of appropriately asked and did things that fit for that person. 

Henry - That is powerful. And he asked before answering, right? Jesus asked powerful questions. Who do you say that I am? 

Steve - Yeah, why do you think he asked that? 

Henry - It's powerful. 

Steve - I know, but why would he ask that? 

Henry - Who do you say that I am? In other words, what could you own me? 

Steve - You. Like, but why do you think he has, why did he just tell him, right? 

Henry - Because he wanted them to discover, yeah, who he 

Steve - and maybe, maybe, when Peter said what he said, It was the first time Peter put it together, right? Oh, right, right. Yeah, I right. It's, it's only when you're asked that you finally okay. What do I really think on this? People don't know what they think about life until someone asks them a question, right? 

Henry - Do you want me or do you want to be made wild? I mean, even that is so profound, and we have seen, you know, as we have talked about this over the decades, where somebody says they would like to get counseling. Okay? So they've had a problem in their marriage. You know, one or both of them have had an affair. I mean, their family is in an uproar. And then they want to meet the pastor, so they come and meet, and then we have one session. We get down, we address the sin we're dealing with, all these things, and then, you know, we give like, a little bit one assignment, Okay, how about memorizing a verse? How about praying? How about going out on a date night? You know, at first it seems so like, Wouldn't anyone who came to see the pastor want this makes sense? Yeah. Okay, so a week goes by, we're back to that schedule. So you ask them, okay, how did the date night go? Did you read the Bible? 

Steve - We you know, I couldn't find my Bible. And then 

Henry - a lot of times we're like, try to give them a Bible, you know? I mean, yeah, we'll go out of our way. But really, Jesus had it right away. In fact, this should be something that, in general, is, it's good advice. I mean, you meet with somebody. Do you want to be made? 

Steve - Well, yeah, what do you want from me? You know? I mean, that would be, what do you want from me? Do you want anything from me, right? We're just meeting with you because we thought we had to meet the pastor before we had we justified our divorce. Yeah? Okay, so I'm here to justify your divorce. So I got one like, How many times do we meet? So that I you can cross that off your list, once? Is it? Why don't you just go now? Yeah, how sad the thing right now, you know, because I'm here to right, I'm here to help people that want to do something right, right. You want to do something right? Keep talking. 

Henry - So why are you so afraid sometimes getting down to the truth of something? Yeah, great coaches ask more than advise. Yes, Jesus discerned the heart. Saw beyond behavior to belief. 

Steve - So an example is Nicodemus. Okay, so what's that example?

Henry - Well, so here in Nicodemus, he comes to Jesus at night, yeah, and he's a religiously, he's a religiously sneaking around. He's sneaking around. And he comes to him at night, yeah, okay. And, and he, in a sense, wants to know, who knows? Maybe there's a political angle here, yeah, we don't know. So, So Nicodemus asks him a question that the religious leaders are thinking about, and he wants to get Jesus to maybe trip up, or maybe he already thinks Jesus onto something, but he wants to confirm that. So he has an agenda, and I don't know if we know totally all that's in that agenda, but then Jesus said, and this is where we get the famous John 3:16 you have to be born again. Yeah, yeah. Like a spiritual birth, yeah, not just physical birth, right? And the ownership of Nicodemus to go through that process. And even when he talks about the wind blows, or the wind blows, he's even making it clear to Nicodemas that you'll find that windy place. 

Steve - Yes, yeah, and and they have a conversation, yes, they have a back and forth conversation, where Jesus is really allowing him to have a stage and to say what he thinks, yeah, and, and Nicodemus obviously feels free enough to do that, yeah, which is where you make progress, because now you not only you helping someone figure out what they actually think, but now they're communicating what they Think. They're trying out what they think on you, right? And they're hearing it, maybe they're hearing it from their own ears, yeah. 

Henry - Well, you see, so much with Peter, you know? And you see, do you love me? Feed my sheep, but, but Peter is also the one who denies Jesus, but Jesus kept that relationship going. He. And it was a rocky road for Peter to really get all 

Steve - in, yes, but in the you know, he keeps asking Peter, what you know, do you love me? Yeah, what right? Why don't you just condemn me and tell me I screwed up and messed up and I denied you and but No, Jesus gets him owning the thing and trying to figure it out. I'm not. I'm not going to tell you all that you did or didn't do you. I am going to give you space, in a way, to figure that out. 

Henry - It is fascinating that Judas Iscariot did not respond to that. So that does tell you, though, that not everybody will respond to coaching or things of God, 

Steve - but what it reveals is who is open to anything anyway. If they're not willing to talk about it or explore their own feelings about it, they certainly are not going to listen to you when you tell them what 

Henry - they should do. They will not so Jesus offered directive truth. So we see him offering non directive but he also did offer directive truth, where many times ministers may we call it semi directive, directive coaching, when hearts are ready Go and sin no more. 

Steve - But notice in that example, you know that was the woman caught in adultery. He, where are your stuff? Where are the people that were condemned? Yeah, they're they're not here. So he, then, neither do I condemn you. He, He led her in a little conversation process where she could feel that forgiveness right? Because where are they condemners, right? Or they're not here, right? I don't condemn it, even though I am here. So he talked to her about it, and then finally, at the end, he goes, Okay, don't go and sin no more, right? Okay, you're loved, right? You belong. You're not cast out, right? So you're on, you're in the club. So welcome to the club, right? But again, 

Henry - it's, there's a relationship, yes, there is a conversation, yes, there is the discernment that's going on. So when you say, take up your cross and follow Me, there is, you're getting a sense of what 

Steve - it means, yes, and he demonstrated what that is first. He let you feel it, understand it, and now you've seen it in me. Okay, right? This is what it means, 

Henry - very powerful. Jesus restored identity. Okay, here we are, a world looking for identity, right now their identity? Yes. And here Jesus says, you know, I call you by name, right? I restored dignity. . 

Steve - Yeah, remember, you remember when we one of the first times we met 

Henry - Mr.DeVos, yeah, from Mr. Our actual first real life coach, yeah, Minister coach. I mean this 

Steve - guy and he, I remember he, we walked in, and right away he comes out with his hand outstretched and called us, maybe our wives are there too, calls us by name, yeah. And then I heard from one of the other guys, one of the service people, they said, he does this with everyone that comes. He finds out who they are, what their name is, and he memorizes it. And so when someone walks in, he calls them by name before they have met, right? Because I want to honor them. Yeah, what? That's what Jesus was doing. He knows us by name. We're important enough, and 

Henry - we saw that when we would go to Orlando Magic Games. He knew the person who was the elevator. He knew the janitor. He knew, but and he treated them no different than he would treat the one who is the Executive Vice President. Yeah, he had this respect of you matter you. You matter that type of thing, right? 

Steve - So it's, it's the in some ways, the coach says you matter to me. Before we get into what you should do or not do, any advice I might or might not have to you, I want you to know up front that regardless of any of that, you matter to me, right? And that a lot of times is just being there, right, 

Henry - you know? And again, these are overlapping in the whole chaplaincy thing where Chaplaincy is presence, and we've done classes with some top chaplains and whatnot, and one of the things they talk about is Hagar, who, you know, she's in this whole very difficult situation, and God notices her, and that is the game changer. Yeah. Yeah, I see you. I see you. And if we can be coaches who see people so, 

Steve - and it's not just that I see you. I'm letting I'm doing stuff and saying stuff in such a way that now I know that you know that I see you, all right, some people I see you, but you are so blind to it, you're so wrapped up in your own issues and problems and self worth and what have you, that you can't see love coming your way. So as a coach, I'm trying to break through that to let you know that I am here. I am here with you, and I believe in you. I believe God has called. I believe His Holy Spirit is in you. And I know you don't believe that, but you know that's part of what I'm doing as a coach. 

Henry - So coaching application, ask things like ask, how did Jesus coach? What would Jesus do in this session? Yeah, where is the Spirit moving mere grace, ask with purpose. So in other words, as you're listening, instead of trying to find something to say in your spirit, in you're asking the Lord, what is going on here and in both of us experience, know that the Holy Spirit will give an insight that is not from us, yes. And all of a sudden, we'll ask a question that we never thought of in preparing for the coaching session. And then the Holy Spirit brings this up. We seize them something said, and all of a sudden, this raises the question. All sudden, the tears come and said, that moment Ross and breakthrough begins 

Steve - now. Now, you know, as you're saying that thinking, wow, some people are like, on, I just don't know what I would ask. Yeah, you know, yeah, I know. I know newbie coaches, which is what you are, yeah, you're all newbies. You're like, I don't want to make a mistake, so then I don't dare ask. I don't know what the right question would be. I don't want to make a mistake. So in some ways, we give you permission to make a few mistakes. You're not going to learn how to do this without We made mistakes. Yeah, sometimes just ask a question, any question, any at all, just to put the ball in their court to you may ask a question and they will answer the thing that's on their heart, even though you didn't ask it, right, right? So sometimes it doesn't even matter what question you ask, it's just that you asked them, right? Like, you notice them. I noticed it, yeah. Like, so a good question. Or some of the good questions are, how are you feeling? How are you dealing with whatever the problem is? How are you thinking about it right now? Like, just get them talking about the thing, right? Rather than you, you want to cover the silence by filling in kind of stuff. Well, let me tell you about what works in marriage. And you know, I know that you're here, you you're struggling, and maybe you want to get a divorce. And let me tell you what the Bible says about divorce. And you know, we want to teach them something. No, what? Why? Why are you guys here? 

Henry - so basically, our last slide in this presentation is basically a commission walk, just like Jesus walked. In fact, that's what it said in John, I John 2:6, walk as He walked. So, you know, as a prayer, in a lot of ways, the role of prayer is central in being a coach. Yeah, the it's behind the scenes. Make me a coach like Jesus. Let me reflect as speak and God as He did. Yeah, and in really, another thing is to maybe, if you're getting into coaching Right now, to read the gospels, put that in your connection with God in your personal just dig in. 

Steve - Look at the life of Jesus through the eyes of the things we've been saying, 

Henry - yes, yes, through this eyes, right? You may never have seen how many questions are really 

Steve - Yeah, how many questions, you know, read the gospels and just see how many questions Jesus actually asked Yeah. Ask this 

Henry - question. Was Jesus The Life Coach or not? Was he a minister coach? Okay, just ask that, and it will not be long, and you will see it's everywhere. 

Steve - And again, with the worrying about what questions to ask, a lot of Jesus questions were rhetorical, right? They were the answer was obvious, but Jesus asked it anyway, because it got people to engage, yeah. So a lot of times just asking the question, get someone from sitting there waiting for someone to fix their lives to being involved in the fixing of it. 

Henry - So as we conclude, we ask you a few questions like, Who are you? Yeah, what is God seeking in your life right 

Steve - now? What. Do you want God to do through you? What kind of effect do you want to have on what people in your life? What people are we talking about? Your marriage, we're talking your family. We're talking about a mens' group are we talking who are the people in your life that you want to have an effect with? 

Henry - Do you have the courage to take the next step? Yeah, those are good questions. And maybe these are questions you can talk to your spouse about, if you're married or a friend, and get a conversation. Maybe you go out and say, you know, I'm sensing the calling to be a minister coach, ministry coach. Oh, really? Why? You know, okay, and in talk, but then ask, start practicing, and even some of your closest friends where you ask curious questions, yes, yes. So okay, well, we're going to stand up.