🎥 Video 7B Transcript: What Not to Do — Taking Sides, Feeding Suspicion, or Undermining Leaders

Hi, I am Haley, a Christian Leaders Institute presenter.

When church conflict appears, a Church Community Chaplain may feel pressure to take sides.

Someone may say, “You understand, don’t you?”
Someone may say, “The pastor needs to hear this from you.”
Someone may say, “The elders are the problem.”
Someone may say, “The deacons never help people like they should.”
Someone may say, “Everyone is talking about this.”

These moments require great care.

A chaplain should not take sides too quickly. The first story may be sincere, but it may not be complete. Proverbs 18:17 says, “He who pleads his cause first seems right; until another comes and questions him.”

This does not mean the chaplain becomes suspicious of the person speaking. It means the chaplain stays humble.

The chaplain must not feed suspicion. Do not say, “I have heard that too.” Do not say, “A lot of people feel this way.” Do not say, “I agree, something is wrong.” Do not gather more complaints to strengthen someone’s case.

The chaplain must not undermine pastors, elders, deacons, staff, or ministry leaders. This does not mean leaders are above correction. It means concerns should be handled through proper communication, proper oversight, and proper process.

The chaplain also must not confuse unity with silence. If there is abuse, danger, exploitation, serious misconduct, or credible threat, the chaplain must escalate through the proper pathway. Protecting people is not gossip. It is faithful care.

But ordinary frustration, disappointment, and disagreement should not become private church politics through the chaplain.

A better response is: “I can hear that you are upset. I do not want to speak for you or carry this anonymously. Would you be willing to bring this directly to the right person? I can help you prepare.”

Another helpful phrase is: “Let’s slow down and separate what happened, how it affected you, and what next step would honor Christ.”

The Church Community Chaplain serves with delegated trust, not independent authority. The chaplain’s influence comes through steadiness, discretion, prayer, and role clarity.

In conflict, the chaplain protects dignity, refuses gossip, avoids hidden influence, and encourages direct communication.

That kind of presence can lower anxiety and strengthen the unity of the church.